Brenda C.

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I am stymied.

I got a call from the Bariatric Team at UW late Friday, and it wasn't the good news I had hoped for.  Last week, I paid to see a mental health professional to get an evaluation for Bariatric Surgery.  Sadly, I was unable to reach anyone at Dr. Petek's Office to get an overview from his evaluation - was I stable or not.  Upon getting the phone call saying UW does NOT feel I am stable, I wondered, what was in the report.  Well, hopefully on Monday I can find out for myself.  The lady from UW did not say what the report said.

UW has said, they will not set a date for surgery until I find a therapist.  Easier said than done!  I am on Medicare - NOT Medicaid, and have yet to get any offices to give me an appointment for a therapist.  I have a *possible* therapist in Burien, but she did NOT return any of my calls for a date before she took off for vacation.  Anyone know of a therapist who can see a patient with MEDICARE?

My other option actually came calling me on Wednesday.  A representative from AARP offered me an HMO paid through Medicare - Evercare.  We talked at length, told him I was in line for Bariatric Surgery - at UW.  He said UW did NOT take the plan he told me about, but St Francis does... Hmmm, goes Brenda's mind on Friday, "If I need a therapist, maybe Evercare is the way to go.  If UW cannot take Evercare, St Francis WILL..."  I may be making a few more calls come Monday.

So, I have cross posted ALL OVER Obesity Help, maybe I can get this all taken care of, before I get frustrated & give up.  I knew it was a long row to hoe, but come on!  We all have a past, and I agree therapy is a great thing, but in the meantime, I am a fully functioning - SANE - adult.  Hindsight being 20/20, I would have done things differently!

On the mat, but the Ref hasn't gotten to 10, YET!
B  : )~

For those who know me, I have a very bad habit of doing things a little differently.  Some may say I do it the wrong way, I say I do it the "other" way ;)  With Jeff gone for two weeks (actually looks longer, he had a death in his family today...) I had such high hopes to tackle my front yard.  The weather had not been cooperating, until today!

What is gardening "without Dodge"?  I have just enough "redneck" in my family tree to actually tie rope around trees & use my big old red Dodge to assist!  Last time I did it, I was just trying to yank a limb (my chainsaw is a wee electric one, and the chain jumped halfway through the cutting process), and took HALF the tree down - onto the tailgate!  This is the reason when Jeff isn't around, I am NOT allowed to fell any trees... But, today I DID!!!

Jeff actually drove my truck to California - he must have known my plans!  After mowing the lawn in the front, I started weeding my flower patch.  I was chatting with the next door neighbor when my daughter showed up.  I have a tree - errr, had - in my front yard that had been dying the last 3 years, so Kate joked that "maybe we could push it over," sadly, I agreed!  It took about  half hour of pushing, pulling, rocking it back in forth, then "TIMBER!"  We knocked that ornamental cherry tree DOWN!  I actually feel like George Washington - but a LOT fatter!

The problem isn't always knocking/chopping a tree down, it's the REMOVAL that gets tricky!  Much of the limbs were able to be yanked off - as I said this tree has been dying for a while.  Getting the trunk out of the way & sawing it into pieces was a chore that gave me more than my usual workout ;)  Kate, my daughter, said, "I guess that counts as a couple days of workout, huh mom?!"  I have three chunks of tree three feet long, and LOTS of limbs to be broken down.  Oh, and we also took a 6 foot maple down, as I don't need another tree growing in that section of the yard.  I filled a 55 gallon garbage can with weeds - and I am still considering more work the next day it is sunny ;)

I laugh to myself - my weight helped knock the tree down, but I cannot wait (pun!) until I lose half my weight to tackle MORE garden projects!!!  I am a little sore, and a lot tired, but proud that I am not just sitting on my butt waiting for surgery to lose weight.  I live life LOUD, and look forward to be more energetic when I get most this weight off!

B : )~

I had this little thing itching in the back of my head for awhile, so off to the Internet I went.

My family has the genetic marker of hemochromatosis, which is too much iron in your blood.  The positive thing, I never needed iron supplements beyond prenatal vitamins during pregnancy.  I remember the stories my great aunt told us about our great uncle having to have blood drawn and thrown away (which makes a small child wonder "what the???").  She used to tell my mom, "If you want some for your roses, I can get it for you..." and she wasn't kidding.  The joke my boyfriend likes to tell is "Keep all magnets away from Brenda..."  Geez.

Anyhow, I did start to wonder, "Am I taking TOO MANY supplements?"  I also mentioned to the nutritionist that I have familial history of hemochromatosis, when she saw I already have high hemoglobin levels.  From what I have seen, the gastric bypass might actually help me NOT develop hemochromatosis, I saw three cases stated in a medical journal.  Upside, I may never have to take additional iron.  Downside, I doubt my roses will want my blood! 

I wasn't satisfied with my 90 minutes or so with the nutritionist, she did not seem to give me enough solid information regarding supplements.  One worry that I think is valid: Am I getting TOO MUCH of any one (or more) vitamin?  The adage, if a little is good, a lot is better does not ring true in this case.  So, I guess I may need to study more on blood levels, so I can intelligently journey through life with my innerds rearranged.

More to learn, but then again, it may also be more I can share ;)  Information is a crazy thing, the more I get, the more I want - I sure do miss the old days of going to the library! 

B  : )~

I am physically worn.  I spent Sunday and Monday on a mountain.  Living near Mount Rainier (note: name should be pronounced RAINY ER!) made it a good day trip - both days.  One of the things I look forward to is losing weight & regaining the power I used to take for granted.

Keeping myself moving forward physically has been tough, my foot and ankle are causing me so much pain, I was irritable this evening.  Just laying here with my laptop, I am wincing from the pain.  I know I need to move to lose weight, but how can I keep moving when I am in so much pain?  I won't give up.

Jeff is visiting family, so I am on my own to keep myself motivated!  Two, Four, Six, Eight, if you keep sitting you won't lose any WEIGHT!  Hmmm, maybe I passed up a lucretive carreeer in cheer leading?!

B : )~

I have had a difficult two weeks, and I stand by my "Brenda-ism":  What doesn't kill me, just pisses me off!

It looks like I may have found the olive branch for my Bariactric Program Social Worker, and I am happy to look toward next Wednesday -- for my next appointment.  Taking steps is like mental exercise, so I will look at this in as positive a light as I possibly can.  All those good adages you hear sometimes come back to haunt you.

I had been upset that the process was going to be pushed back into September, but if all goes well on Wednesday, I may be able to the light at the end of the tunnel sometime in June.  This may sound like I am being impatient, but I have been working on a mental schedule - so, the kink I ran into really sent me on a needless errand to correct.  I really do understand the steps, I just think there was a stumble that shouldn't have happened.

Keeping my mood positive...

B : )~

I have been in a surly mood for a week.  Grrrr, is the best I could muster at some moments.  I did not feel like facing the world, I was just a little pissed off.  Last week, I had back to back appointments, all giddy that I was progressing to the point of getting "my date," just to get shot down.

In my quest to be honest, I actually said a couple things in my shortened 20 minute meeting with the Social Worker, that in hindsight, should have been left in my mental closet.  We all have history, some of us have gone through harder times than others, but it is how we cope (I think) that really matters.  Anyhow, the Social Worker decided in that brief span of time, that I was unstable - because I admit I have wrestled with depression (currently on meds), and I had a past that included stupid behavior in my quest to lose weight.  I was a teenager -- so, fast forward over two decades -- I am NOT that person anymore.

Before I can go further in my process, I have to get an "okee dokee" from a therapist.  My coverage is the key to this problem.  I have not been able to get just any Tom, Dick, or Harry to take me for an intake, so I started to feel like giving up.  I pulled my big girl pants up, went to my support meeting, told my dilemma -- horns trumpet -- I got a possible solution!

When you feel like isolation, that is the very moment you NEED to interact.  This coming from the mind of someone supposed to not be stable enough to succeed at weight loss surgery.  Grrrr.  Sad part of this tale:  I was asked, "Did you fill out the personality test?"  Ummm, nope.  So, hopefully it won't cost me an arm & a leg, I will contact the doctor other members suggested, take the personality test, and prove how emotionally ready I actually am.  Otherwise, I will not be allowed to take the next step until late July -- which means I may be lucky if I get surgery in August, maybe September.

Note to self:  Not everyone wants to hear the truth - they want to hear a canned response that fits in their little box.  So much for being a free thinking, honest person.

B  : )~

After the chiropractor, Jeff & I headed back to West Fenwick Park.  Last week I discovered the nasty rash that can cause a weeks worth of discomfort, I have decided to work smart - not hard.  West Fenwick Park has a looping upper & lower trail, so one trip uphill, swing back downhill, a brisk lap around the lower track left us just sweaty enough to have actually worked our bodies without leaving us so beat we could not come back later to do it all over again.  My chiropractor had a great idea: Go TWICE a day, not doing too much in one trip.  Great idea.  Jeff's knee's hated the hill, my chest was yelling at me, "Why?!" so I am sure it was a good day.  Maybe I cannot comfortably do two full laps, yet -- keyword, yet.

I am looking forward to being able to take that wee hill without a wheeze or whimper.  Take that, you wee hill!

Onward & upward.
B  : )~

May 10th, Captains Log... Yeah, that is how I feel staring at the screen & wondering what I want to say. 

I spent way too long in the Nutritionists Office, unsure if that is good or bad.  My blood looks MAR-VA-LOUS Darling... Okay, so she had a slight Eastern European accent, but she did say my blood work looked REALLY good.  Hahaha, she asked if I am taking Iron - ummm, no.  My hemoglobin is high - which is a genetic thing for me.  Does that mean I will rust living in the Pacific Northwest?  Naw, it was to help my ancestors live through the plague (or so it has been explained).  The Nutritionist & I at least agree on a few things: Artificial Sweeteners SUCK, stay away; eat real food (Why am I drinking protein shakes? Because I was trying to get my weight down); Caffeine is NOT a bad thing - which I felt GUILTY drinking (unsweetened coffee, not soda).

Saw the Social Worker, and I blew it.  I have a really bad habit of telling the truth to people who just meet me, might want to just say what THEY want to hear... So, I earned the,"I want you to find a therapist, get a release from them, then send me the info... Then, the next step will be Nurse Practitioner..."  Okay, so maybe I should not say so much, but I admitted I have "issues" to deal with - I know therapy will only help - and I was planning on seeing a therapist, at some point (haha).

Upper GI went easily.  From what I could see, I do have the normal organs in the normal places (no freaking out from the staff is a good sign, right?)  I worried I was in for endoscopic probing - NOT FUN - but it was just a silly little session that included drinking dye & being Xray'd.

I am down only 15 pounds, but then again, I am DOWN 15 pounds!  Okay, small steps ;)

Last week I did terrible damage to my thighs :(  Got all happy about finding a good walking track - it was sunny - I was ambitious -- I got CHAFFED!  It's been a WEEK!  I still have some residual, but getting back into my walking shoes ;)  Worst part of the self infliction of damage - I could not even swim -- think where the suit grabs!  Here, let me illustrate: (__!__)

One more step taken, a whole lot more to go!
B  : )~ 

I am back in Washington - woooo!  For anyone in the South Puget Sound Area NOT in a support group, SPS will be meeting in Federal Way, Saturday May 1 from 3pm to 5pm -- a wonderful group of folks!  For those already in the group - I will see you at the Black Bear Diner on Pacific Highway!

B  : )~

I am really enjoying the constant changes in the weather!  We are staying on the beach of Depoe Bay, OR, and it is so funny how one second it is pouring rain, the next it is sunny, then muggy, then overcast, I cannot decide what to wear ;)

Did some lovely walking, swam indoors & outdoors (heated pool, I am not nuts enough to swim this far North in the Pacific - especially when it isn't August!!!), played Scrabble, and generally having a wonderful time.  I must say though, that for some unknown reason I had a couple of flies bugging me while laying in the sun!  Hey now!  I am trying to get some Vitamin D - move on!!!  Got to see some whales from our lanai, and made a new buddy, "Denty" the Seagull (he has a dent on his head & a gimpy leg - so of course I fed the poor guy!) who actually came to the sliding door to let me know he missed me - and those animal crackers we both love!

So, one thing I look forward to:  Getting onto & off of a lawn chair - they just aren't tall enough when you are this fat. 

Well, off to visit with Jeff's folks...
B : )~