shiftling
The last time I recall not having a tummy hanging out would be when I was three, and my mom was saying I was getting big. Teased all my life, I find it's made me a strong, caring, upbeat, and cheery person! I defy so many laws. ha
I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome at 18, the skinniest I have been since childhood was 180 when I practically starved myself during my last year of highschool. The starvation started my cycle, which got the diagnosis.
When I turned 20 I finally spoke to a doctor about my depression, Because I was also on antidepressants and the pill for regularity, we didn't want to add Metformin to the mix yet. I let that hang until 2009. Now I'm on it with no real differences yet.
Between then and now, I was married to someone who never really was attracted to me, left him when he became scary (I wasn't hit by him, but objects and parts of the house were and I was going to be cut up into little pieces) and ended up with someone who, three years later, told me he loved the dog more and that if we stayed together he would cheat on me. I was fine with him leaving me, he had strangled me on occasion and slapped me in the face. I have never found the right man yet, one who treats me like any other normal-sized girl might find. That's okay, I still have time to have a family.
In 2008 I insisted on further psych testing and was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I asked for counseling and no one could get it for me, so I found my own free adult trauma therapist and grew in leaps and bounds. I'm now much more aware of myself and how I work, and most of all, my personality.
Getting surgery will be yet another step in focusing on myself, to become the person I always felt I was but most don't care to see.
