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I recently passed the milestone of being 9 years post-op from my open RNY gastric bypass (August 3rd).  Next year will be an even bigger milestone, when I hit 10 years out from the surgery.  It's been one incredible roller coaster ride, that's for sure!  I have managed to document about it almost every year, so I'll try not to get too lengthy with y'all.

In the last year, I have been mostly in maintenance mode again after losing (most of) that 60 lb regain from 192 lbs (that I know of, since I mostly avoided the holy heck out of scales) back down to around 134 lbs.  While I was maintaining between 132-137 lbs, prior to the weight gain, I am significantly smaller and in much better shape now than I was then.  I have learned to really love and embrace many different types of exercise.  I am still not the most "clean" eater, but I am a much healthier eater than I was for a long time.  I am not sure if I will even need the plastics now or not.  If I do get anything, I might get a slight bit of lipo to clean up a few "trouble spots" and maybe implants (breast augmentation) since I lost a lot of the "girls".

For those new to my WLS journey, my highest recorded weight is 334 lbs.  I was 303 lbs at the time of RNY.  I maintained for around 6 or so years between 132 to 137 lbs and then regained to 192 lbs that I know of.  I entered the Biggest Loser Challenge on base (I didn't win, but I did good in the competition).  I was 181 lbs in March 2012 when I joined MyFitnessPal and I reached maintenance 6 1/2 mos later.  I continually work on my fitness, toning, and trying to eat right.  I love to run, love to lift weights, and I just enjoy walks with my Boxers.  Basically, life is better healthier.  I was busting out of a size 12 when I started losing my regain (and I REFUSED to go up another size) and now I wear a 2/4 and a 1/3/5 in juniors.  I always swore that I wouldn't be a "regainer" and I was one.  I was one of very, very many.  That being said, I now believe that you can never say never and it's best to just always do your best.  You're not a failure if you regain.  Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and kick regain's butt!

My kids are still both very healthy and happy.  The husband is working on losing a few lbs himself since transitioning over to retirement from the Military and working on the Civilian side of things now.  We're all well and looking forward to what the future brings us.

Til next time!  Have a great week :)

Obesity & Me

Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.

I have always strugged with my weight since I hit puberty earlier than other children (at around the age of 9). I knew I was taller and bigger than them and I knew that I had to wear a bra before the other girls did. Kids are most exceptionally cruel. I did slim down some in Junior High and High School thanks to staying active, but my weight started to really rise up in my late teens (19) when I hit a huge bout of depression in college. Between the depression, a decline in my physical health, and having to take medications that increase weight and decrease metabolism, my weight absolutely BALLOONED! Before I knew it, I was 25 years old, horribly depressed, and over 300 lbs!

What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?

The toll it takes on your health is by far the worst thing. The self-esteem issues is the other. It's the way that society treats you when you are overweight, it just makes you want to become a hermit. Shopping is also a pretty horrible experience when you're a size 26W and you pretty much want do that from the comfort of your desk chair and a computer instead of in front of the eyes of a pitying salesperson. You know, I am now not sure which one of those is the worst. They are all pretty god awful... Oh, and being the "fat friend" when you go out with your friends. That one ranks up there as well....

If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?

Shopping, hands down! I can go anywhere I want to and shop! Heck, I get dirty looks when I go into Lane Bryant and help friends pick out clothes now, which is totally different for me. I'm a size 2/4 and a S in shirts. I've never been this small in my whole life, not even in puberty. It's really pretty awesome, especially being 9 years post-op. I also enjoy working out, which I hated with a passion! And I really enjoy going swimming now because I don't get looks of disgust when I have a swimsuit on =D

 

I've hardly lost any weight these past few months, but I've lost inches and it's made a difference when it comes to clothes and the way things fit.  It also makes a difference in my confidence.  I am not done with this journey yet, but I feel better with each passing day/week/month and wanted to share with y'all that regain IS real and you CAN beat it!

Some days, I swear I feel the restriction I had when I was a new post-op.  It's like it's still actually there.  I rejoice in those days and thank my pouch for still "working".  

And then...  Then comes the bottomless pit days, as I call them.  I feel ravished, starved, so hungry.  I want to eat everything in sight, especially if it's a CARB.  I'm doing my best not to succumb to those days, but it's a challenge.

I've been doing the MFP (MyFitnessPal) thing for around 6 mos or a little more now. I haven't had a day yet that I've gone over calories, but, admittedly, I've been a bit of a nazi about it, too.  I am now in a stall, plateau, whatever you want to call it.  The scale hasn't moved in almost 2 weeks.  I think it's time to up my calories, and yet I'm afraid as heck to do that.  I don't want to ruin my progress, especially when I'm still not fitting all my "goal" clothes yet (i.e. the designer jeans I'd ordered via sample sale that never fit me before I regained and they don't quite fit now).  I am starting to lift weights and I'm doing various routines of circuit training to include Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred.  I think it's all about the toning now and that's what is going to make the difference, but why on earth am I so afraid to increase my calories.  I know I had to be eating between 2500-3000 calories a day when I was gaining and I know it was pure crap, at that.  At least my calories would be good (better) calories this time.  What gives with my psychological block that won't hardly let me eat above 1200 calories a day (before exercise)?  I am pretty sure it's the reason for my stall.  I've been at 137.4  for a while and I would like to get back to 134, for a solid 200 lbs lost.

I would love any words of wisdom or advice.  Thanks!

Today is 8 years since I've had my RNY.  I went under the knife on August 3rd, 2004, weighing 303 lbs (down from my highest weight of 334 lbs).  I have been as low as 118 lbs since then, and I maintained my weight for several years between 130-140 lbs.  I have had 2 children since my RNY that are my biggest blessing in the world and I have a wonderful husband who supports me in everything I do.  I have a great career, as well, that I am thankful for.

I have experienced a regain of 60 lbs since my surgery.  I have now lost over 45 lbs of that.  Bad eating habits, medications that don't keep weight at bay when you aren't careful what you eat, stress eating, and just plain laziness.  I regained weight that I swore I never would.  It was XXX lbs "gone forever" when I had my RNY and, unfortunately, they didn't stay that way.  I have worked my tail off with calorie/macro counting and exercising (thank you, MyFitnessPal) and I have been successful in losing again.  I am below surgeon's goal for me and look fit and healthy.

What is next in my "journey"?  Well, I'd like to lose the last few lbs and maintain.  Then, I'd like to go ahead with the last of my plastics next year.  I look forward to what the future brings.

Though I haven't lost all of it, I've lost most of it and I'm very pleased.

Here's a good side by side of my "breaking point" to "now"

Well, I had surgery on the 30th of May to install a port for my iron infusions, IVs, blood transfusions, etc.  I have no vein access.  It was a pretty simple surgery, though I was sore for almost 2 weeks following it.  I kept up great with the diet, but I've had to put some limitations into my exercise.  It has made me feel a bit inadequate, but I also don't want to do any damage.  I already set myself back some when I went to work that Pet Adoption event at 1 1/2 weeks out of surgery and I ended up having a heat stroke that day.  I'm still a bit off from that.  I do what I can now to stay on track.  

I am hoping by next week, I will be able to resume my normal routine of 5 days a week on the ski machine, 45 mins a day.  That along with the diet is a rockin' combination and should kick the weight loss moving faster than it is at this moment.  I cannot be overall disappointed that I am now lingering between 157-158 lbs.  Not far to go now before goal!  I feel like I look 100x better already and I feel better about myself.  The changes are astounding and I am so glad I made them!  Now just to get myself recovered and keep rockin' those changes . . .

Especially the best change of all: NORMAL BMI!  I am no longer overweight anymore!

"No one ever said it would be easy . . ."

It's definitely not easy, especially the 2nd'ish time around, but it's rewarding to know that I'm doing it and that it's starting to come off.

I weighed in this morning and I've lost 3.8 lbs this week.  That is really pretty good, considering that I'm just starting to amp up the exercise to a level I can handle with the health problems I have.  The food tracking is becoming old habit at this point in time.  Many times in the past, I've started up the food tracking, only to fail at it after a week or so.  I'm a month into it today and going strong.  I'm 11 lbs down this month.

I don't have high hopes that every month will be perfect and without plateaus, but the goal is in front of me and I'm not stopping until I get there and perhaps even pass it.

I am tracking on Myfitnesspal, if any of you use that.  I find it to be a wonderful site!  I will continue to utilize this blog and probably keep lurking and reading posts until I'm comfortable enough to chime in again.  I hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday!

And by that I mean regain.  I always thought it wouldn't happen to me.  That I was "immune" to it... and maybe for 6 years I was, but I couldn't sit back and eat like pure crap for over 2 years (or more) and not expect that it would catch up to me.  One day I was happily weighing in at around 140/145 and wearing a size 6 (sometimes a 4).  The next day, I am at 192 lbs and a 10 is so tight that I should probably buy a 12, but I refuse to.  It's a slap in the face of reality if I ever got one... and above all else, it's a wake up call to get it straight.

In the past month to 6 weeks, I've gotten strict, and I do mean strict (though, I will allow myself a treat here and there if it's within calories so I won't go out and binge out of anger toward the diet).  I'm now down 20 lbs to 171 and getting back into all of my 8's and a couple of 6's (perhaps they are stretched out?).  The problem is I don't have many 8's or 10's in my wardrobe because I'd gotten rid of them when I got down to a 4/6.  I wear the ones I kept and thankfully I kept some. 

I am determined to be at 145 by my 8 year mark of when I had my surgery on August 3rd.  I might never make it back into the 130's.  I'm not killing myself to get there.  I want to get to 145 and then I'll reevaluate.  I am 34 now and not in my 20's anymore.  I'm post-menopausal (yes, I actually am) and my body has changed.  I know that my 4's fit at 145 so if my clothes in my closet fit, then I'll be tickled pink.  Let's face it, I'm not in the greatest health, so I walk as I can, I watch what I eat, and I do what I can to get this weight off.  What I'm doing is working.  I'm not taking any shortcuts because there are none.  I'm almost 8 years post-op now and that weight does not come off as easily the 2nd time around. 

I am doing my best not to negative self-talk myself anymore over this regain.  I've done it enough for a lifetime, believe me.  I've wanted to blog about this for a long time, but I've been embarrassed to admit it.  I finally realize I just need to come forward with it.  I am not perfect and I made a lot of mistakes with my eating.  I developed bad habits with my pregnancies that I kept up anyways and I thought I could out eat my surgery and it wouldn't catch up with me.  I was very, very wrong.  Bad eating habits + a ton of health problems and medications = a surefire combo for weight gain.

I got called wide, heavy, and a few other things at a previous job of mine in the past year.  My self esteem isn't the highest.  I have hidden from cameras for a while now, admittedly, but I will say that I am barely overweight according to the BMI and I am determined not to let people's words get to me anymore.  I am above it and I will take off the last 23 lbs.  I am back to OH for support, even if I am lurking a little.  

Renae