The Skinny

Aug 02, 2011

It has been said that inside every fat person is a skinny person trying to get free.  My skinny self is emerging and the fat me is leaving.  Sadly, the fat me is not taking all this extra skin with her.  Oh my goodness, the loose skin is, well, it's like a whole separate entity that lives on top of the rest of me.

I've warned my children that should an earthquake occur, albeit unlikely in this region, that they should not stand near me.  All my extra skin would beat them to death. 

I knew with a beginning BMI of 70 that I was going to have loose skin.  I decided to embrace it and just roll with it, having no other choice but to live with it until I can get plastics and that's a ways down the road yet.  At first, it was encouraging to lose enough weight to have some loose skin.  Then, it became funny to watch it wibble, wobble, and wiggle.  I like scaring my children with it.  "Be nice to me or I'll show you my knees!"  "Look at these arms!"  Their screams amuse me.

Now, the skin is taking on a life of its own.  We share space.  I do what I want, the skin does what it wants.  Come winter I'm going to suck it all in with Spanx and Squeezy T's.  But, it got up to 113 degrees in my town today and I am not interested in wearing spandex.  I can't wait for cooler weather so I can whip this skin into some kind of shape other than the droopy one it now assumes. 

My job requires that I occasionally film myself working with one of my clients.  I used to hate to see myself on video because of my weight.  I'm not at goal, so I was worried I'd still hate seeing myself on video.  Nevertheless, I set up the camera and did my work.  I made myself watch because I knew it will improve my skills.  But, here were my initial assessments.  "Oh god, there's my butt."  I braced myself.  "Hmm, not bad, at least with clothes on."  "Oh no, there's my gut.  Hey, not great, but not bad, not bad."  Then, I began to relax as I watched myself work with my client.  Then, "WHOA!  Look at that flabby arm skin!  Why didn't I wear longer sleeves?  I'm so glad I didn't slap that child silly with all that flab." 

The world is not perfect and I am imperfect in it.  All in all, I like my imperfection on this side of WLS. 

Blessings to all my gentle readers. 

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