tambran2
I am a 42 year old professional who has battled weight issues since I was 5 years old. I am married for 16 years to a man that runs 7-10 miles a day and works out religiously. I weighed 281 the day we were married so the weight has never been an issue between us. My last visit to my PCP in November '04 was the "kicker" that made me finally make the decision to DO SOMETHING! I was diagnosed with high BP and high Cholestorol. WOW.....that woke me up! I travel for a living and prided myself in working 16 hour days. I manage 40 sales representatives (all male)and merchandise an upholstery furniture line. Heck, I always (in spite of my weight)thought I was super woman. I am now feeling the effects of high BP and Chol. Energy level is depleated. I made the decision to have Lap banding just 3 weeks after knowing it even exsisted. I did a ton of research on the internet while traveling. I think this is the best decision I could have made.
5/6/05
I chose not to post the first week of post-op because I really felt terrible and had some regrets. After reading message boards, I realized I was never alone. The folks on the message boards are absolutely wonderful and I know I would have never gotten through this without them. So, now the good news......after my post-op check up yesterday, I have lost 18lbs. I was warned that that was a high number and that I might gain over the next three weeks adding full liquids. I really don't mind at this point because the protein and calories have made me feel so much better. I have listened to the boards and have decided this is a time to heal.
My husband is ecstatic. He so wanted me to feel good and become healthy. After a week of traveling, I would come home on the weekends and just colapse. I was stealing his time by not being able to do something with him. He deserves much better than that. I am so happy I have made this decision.
5/18/2005
Today I am 3 weeks out and have absolutely no regrets. For some reason, I still have a bit of soreness/pain where the band is (I think). I guess I am one of those that have a slow recovery. The good news is that I have never been nauseous, not one time. I have not been the perfect bandster I must admit. I made a decision to do this and did it. Self pay = quick surgery date. I am not so sure I had mentally prepared myself for what was to come. I focused on the end result and not the journey to get there. Now that I am banded, I have spent so many days just trying to get my mind to catch up with my body. I am coming to terms but many days I am not there yet. This is where my food demons have poked their ugly heads up and bit me a couple of times. I swear, sometimes it feels like I am fighting the devil himself. I have a wonderful and supportative husband, a great job, a great family and wonderful friends. With all of that, how could FOOD be my driving force? It has been all of my life. The hardest part is that of all the people I mentioned above only one is overweight. Mom, Dad, Brother and Sister....none of them are overweight, not one pound and never have been. Husband has never been overweight. However, my best friend is overweight and the truth is that we are partners in crime. We are both addicted to shopping and eating. The perfect combination, eat and then go out seeking clothes to fit our oversize bodies. It was a challenge but we managed to get it done. We really do know all the good places to find what we called "the chunky girl section". Fat or not, we always managed to look GOOD! I literally have 4 closets FULL of clothes, many with the tags still hanging. One is full of business suits, one full of designer jeans and tops, one full of dresses and skirts. The last one is full of (get this) work out clothes for the gym and shoes. Everything is a size 22-24 or 3X. I had lost some weight several years ago and purged the 26-28's swearing I would never go back. Well, guess what.......I was well on my way to those sizes and actually needed them just before banding.
I mention the clothes because I can't wait to do another purge and buy smaller sizes. It may be awhile since they were all so very tight prior to banding. I will definately post on the boards when that day comes. Everyone here has been so helpful that I can't imagine doing anything else with them before offering them to those on the boards. That day will come and I can't wait!
Now, back to my best friend. When contemplating this WLS I had all the support in the world except from my friend. I knew when I made my decision that she would not agree. She works for a health care provider and deals with approving WLS all of the time. I knew how she felt before I even told her. This is the good part. When I admitted my intentions, within 2 weeks she had gone on a diet and was working out like crazy. She really wanted to prove to me that it can be done without surgery. (BTW she has lost 30lbs in 8 weeks and I am so proud of her). Sure it can, and I knew that but my struggles have been since the age of 5 and her weight issues did not arise until her late 20's. I wanted a permanent resolution, not another roller coaster ride. She continues to be my best friend and is much nicer now that the banding is done. She also continues to diet and exercise so in a way we are doing this together. I guess I included this because I never thought I would have to fight this sort of battle that really felt like a female competition. Just sharing in case someone else runs across this situation.
I have to admit, I am extremely lucky to have been off of work the entire 3 weeks. I spent most of the day yesterday planning my itinerary for the next 3 months. Lots of meetings and travel are on the horizon. Lord, how will I handle my band on the road? I have to admit many of my food problems came with travel. I would not eat all day, work like crazy and then hit the drive thru circuit at night AFTER a dinner out with clients. Whew, I still have that demon to overcome. I mention the travel because although I have a laptop, I may have a hard time posting once I get back in the groove of things. I am sure I will see many on the boards because, guess what.....I am addicted to those now. "Ain't addiction a bitch"!!!!
Such a long post, but I have to say Thank you to everyone on this site. I have found a crew of angels sent from heaven! If your banded and need help, you are in the right place!
Until next time..........Tammy
6/9/05
Boy, I am pretty bad at updating my profile. Bad girl! Well, I was 6 weeks out on Wednesday of this week. I blazed out of the gate and lost 21 lbs in the first 4 weeks. After being released to solid proteins a couple of weeks early, I gained a pound. The NP told me that I actually had lost 3 lbs of fat and gained 4 lbs of lean muscle. Please someone tell me how they know that? I cannot figure out how their scales work. I was sure I gained weight because the 3 days prior to my appointment I had traveled (by car) 800 miles in 3 days! Whew what a trip. My water intake was less than half of my normal 80-100 oz's. I just did not have time to take the bathroom breaks.
After the weigh in I had my first fill. I was so nervous, but for no reason. It was simple and virtually painless. It was done under fluro with at barrium swallow. Everything looked great, band placement, pouch size, etc. I wish I could tell how much of a fill I had, but the NP basically smiles and won't tell. All she said was that she was "aggressive" and that my fill was custom made for me and my anatomy. I guess if I pushed she would have told me but she thinks that creates a comparison type situation and we just can't compare ourselves to others. Although I wanted to know, I actually agreed with her. I paid good money for this, if I trusted this group to do the surgery, I should trust that they are taking the best of care of me and my band. As long as it is working, I will go with their advise. I have managed to avoid my scales at home. I only weigh in at appointments...so far. I personally cannot stand the thought of a daily roller coaster ride.
Following the rules for the most part and trusting myself and this little band that lives inside me. I still have an addiction to food and unknown demons that creep up on me at times. I have never known these demons or what they represent but I know they are there and I know that I have used food to keep them at bay for over 37 years. My life to this point has been as close to picture perfect as it could be. God has blessed me with a great family and friends. Only God knows exactly who I am and why I was the ONLY fat person in my family. I really have never had a desire to weed through the reasoning behind my addiction. It must be way to painful for me to approach. Who knows, I am just happy I have this tool to help me out.
More later................Tammy
7/2/05
With my travel schedule, it looks like updating my profile is going to happen monthly. I wish I had more time to spend on this, I feel like I am missing out on so many aspects of this journey. This is where I am today. A little over 2 months post op and have no problems what so ever. I had my first fill at 4 weeks and had restriction for about 4 hours. Then.....no restriction for a couple of days. 3 days after the fill, the restriction came and lasted for another week. Wow, it was great. Since then, it seems to have diminished somewhat and I am looking for another fill this coming Tuesday the 5th of July. I think I have lost a couple of pounds since the last fill but I am not sure since I have sworn off the scales. I only weigh at my Dr.s appointments!
Eating on the road has been tough. I typically leave on Sunday afternoons and return home on Wed or Thur nights. That is just too many meals out! The portions are huge and my head has not caught up with my band yet especially without much restriction. I have asked for half portions and lunch portions everywhere I go and have a hard time finding a restaurant that will accomodate my request. It really goes against everything I have ever known to leave so much food on my plate but what am I to do with it? Ok, even if I have a refrigerator in my room, what should I eat the left overs for breakfast? No way, I just can't do it. So that aspect of eating while traveling has been really hard. So far so good. I basically have started asking that they serve half and pack half. It is working for now.
I can basically eat anything I want. I have had problems with nothing so far. I'm sure with proper restriction that will all change. I have had no PB's. I did however get a bit stuck a few times but it only lasted a minute or so. My fault, too big a bite or eating too fast. The hardest part of this is my insistance on drinking while eating. I have to stop this! I ALWAYS have something to drink, Always! This has been my only struggle so far. I am determined to break this habit one way or another.
My NSV's to date are:
Watch spins on my arm
Rings are bearly hanging on
I feel collar bones
My DH said I was getting prettier every time I come home! Yeah, that is the best of all!
More later!
10/30/05
Last Thursday was my 6 month bandiversary! To date I have lost 47 lbs. It seems like I am a slow loser, but considering what I put in my body and my lack of exercise I am doing just fine. I have had so many things going on in my life since banding. I am fighting a black cloud of depression that just never leaves me for long. The events that seem to have inspired my depression are:
My father sold the business he started in 1969 which leaves my DH, my brother and myself working for another company. Granted, I don't have a problem working for this company, I guess it is just the company heritage paired with the change in the industry (everything comes from China now) that has me looking for another quest in my life. Unfortunately, this is all I know. I have been offered many jobs on the road as a salesperson, but I still don't have the confidence I need to go out on my own. I have the ability but being paid based on what I sell and paying my own expenses scares me to death. Currently, I am the VP of Sales and Marketing and manage 40 representatives over the eastern half of the country. I travel basically 40 weeks out of the year. This attributes to some of my depression I am sure.
My best friend and I have been on shakey terms since my surgery. It seems she has turned this friendship into some sort of competition over everything. We cannot even talk about anything unless she is challenging every decision I make. She wants to argue all of the time. Despite all of my efforts, we just cannot get back to the solid relationship we once had.
My husband and I are not communicating and that seems to be affecting our relationsip to the point of seperation. I mentioned my travel schedule and up until now it has worked for us. I am a go go go girl and he is a stay at home boy. 24/7 has never worked for us. I had surgery and he has lost 20 lbs. He is now a workout guru, running, karate, and basic weights. I know he is trying to encourage me to exercise as well, but he is pushing to the point that I am refusing which is bad for me. He is miserable at work and that is affecting our relationship as well.
All of this along with many others too long to write down just keeps this black cloud hovering over me most (not all) of the time.
My progress and sucess with my band are satisifying to say the least. To be honest, I have never worked my band, I have just let it work me. I have been lucky that it has so far. I know that won't continue forever and doing my part needs to become a priority in my life. I have always had the attitude that I paid for this to do its job and I have just let it.....so far. Don't get me wrong, I have contributed to its sucess by watching what I eat and walking and moving more, but I know I should focus more on myself and being accountable for my actions. I blame a lot of it on my traveling....out to eat every meal. Sometimes it is hard, others it is not. I love japaneese food and meat of any kind so I am lucky in that aspect as well. I have given up bread, butter and sweet tea. I swore before banding that I could live on those three items alone. I am lucky that I do not crave sweets except homemade Chocolate chip cookies. I indulge on a couple of those about once a month, if that. I really think that the Zone Protein bars have curbed my appetite for sweets. If you have not tried these, DO! I typically eat 3 meals a day, sometimes a snack in the late evening if I feel the need. Breakfast comes around 10am after a couple cups of hot coffee- a Zone protein bar.
Lunch is usually chicken and veggies or fish and veggies. I also love the bison burger at Ruby Tuesdays. Low fat and yummy if prepared medium- not well done.
Dinner lately has been some sort of beans. I am addicted to black, brown, white, heck any type of beans. Strange for me, but very filling and full of protein.
I want to mention my third fill which was done on my 6 month bandiversary as well. Last Thursday. This was the only fill I have had that was to say the least eventful. I left the office swallowing water just fine, but as time progressed I continued to get tighter. On Friday morning I had intentions of moving on to full liquids and felt like I needed nutrition so I made cream of wheat thin enough to go thru a straw- No way that was going down. 3 teaspoons full proved that. Back to clears the rest of the day. Saturday morning, coffee gurgled, blended soup came up, and one little curd of cottage cheese came up as well. No kidding! Slime city!! I had never had swelling or complications from fills so I was progressing as before but it just was not working! Finally, Sat night I called the answering service and was surprised that they met me at the office at 10PM to do a slight unfill. WHEW......relief. Thank God! Today, I am completely satisfied with coffee and water so far. No hunger, but I am still a bit raw feeling. I am supposed to do clears or full as tolorated today. She actually said I could do mushies if everything was feeling ok. I don't think so. I will just wait until the hunger pangs show up.
Well, this is my 6 month post. I wish I were inclined to post more often. I do try to make them worthwhile when I find the time to set down and just do it. I have to say, this board has been the best part of my journey. I come here as often as possible and the love and support is amazing. I can be absent for weeks on end and if a problem arises, bam.....everyone is there for me. I mentioned in an earlier message that I feel so selfish for not being more attentive and doing my part. I really think the depression is holding me back from getting more involved. Just know that I read as often as I can and hope to become more involved when I can be a positive influence and not such a downer. Pray for me!
Be the first to leave a comment.5/6/05
I chose not to post the first week of post-op because I really felt terrible and had some regrets. After reading message boards, I realized I was never alone. The folks on the message boards are absolutely wonderful and I know I would have never gotten through this without them. So, now the good news......after my post-op check up yesterday, I have lost 18lbs. I was warned that that was a high number and that I might gain over the next three weeks adding full liquids. I really don't mind at this point because the protein and calories have made me feel so much better. I have listened to the boards and have decided this is a time to heal.
My husband is ecstatic. He so wanted me to feel good and become healthy. After a week of traveling, I would come home on the weekends and just colapse. I was stealing his time by not being able to do something with him. He deserves much better than that. I am so happy I have made this decision.
5/18/2005
Today I am 3 weeks out and have absolutely no regrets. For some reason, I still have a bit of soreness/pain where the band is (I think). I guess I am one of those that have a slow recovery. The good news is that I have never been nauseous, not one time. I have not been the perfect bandster I must admit. I made a decision to do this and did it. Self pay = quick surgery date. I am not so sure I had mentally prepared myself for what was to come. I focused on the end result and not the journey to get there. Now that I am banded, I have spent so many days just trying to get my mind to catch up with my body. I am coming to terms but many days I am not there yet. This is where my food demons have poked their ugly heads up and bit me a couple of times. I swear, sometimes it feels like I am fighting the devil himself. I have a wonderful and supportative husband, a great job, a great family and wonderful friends. With all of that, how could FOOD be my driving force? It has been all of my life. The hardest part is that of all the people I mentioned above only one is overweight. Mom, Dad, Brother and Sister....none of them are overweight, not one pound and never have been. Husband has never been overweight. However, my best friend is overweight and the truth is that we are partners in crime. We are both addicted to shopping and eating. The perfect combination, eat and then go out seeking clothes to fit our oversize bodies. It was a challenge but we managed to get it done. We really do know all the good places to find what we called "the chunky girl section". Fat or not, we always managed to look GOOD! I literally have 4 closets FULL of clothes, many with the tags still hanging. One is full of business suits, one full of designer jeans and tops, one full of dresses and skirts. The last one is full of (get this) work out clothes for the gym and shoes. Everything is a size 22-24 or 3X. I had lost some weight several years ago and purged the 26-28's swearing I would never go back. Well, guess what.......I was well on my way to those sizes and actually needed them just before banding.
I mention the clothes because I can't wait to do another purge and buy smaller sizes. It may be awhile since they were all so very tight prior to banding. I will definately post on the boards when that day comes. Everyone here has been so helpful that I can't imagine doing anything else with them before offering them to those on the boards. That day will come and I can't wait!
Now, back to my best friend. When contemplating this WLS I had all the support in the world except from my friend. I knew when I made my decision that she would not agree. She works for a health care provider and deals with approving WLS all of the time. I knew how she felt before I even told her. This is the good part. When I admitted my intentions, within 2 weeks she had gone on a diet and was working out like crazy. She really wanted to prove to me that it can be done without surgery. (BTW she has lost 30lbs in 8 weeks and I am so proud of her). Sure it can, and I knew that but my struggles have been since the age of 5 and her weight issues did not arise until her late 20's. I wanted a permanent resolution, not another roller coaster ride. She continues to be my best friend and is much nicer now that the banding is done. She also continues to diet and exercise so in a way we are doing this together. I guess I included this because I never thought I would have to fight this sort of battle that really felt like a female competition. Just sharing in case someone else runs across this situation.
I have to admit, I am extremely lucky to have been off of work the entire 3 weeks. I spent most of the day yesterday planning my itinerary for the next 3 months. Lots of meetings and travel are on the horizon. Lord, how will I handle my band on the road? I have to admit many of my food problems came with travel. I would not eat all day, work like crazy and then hit the drive thru circuit at night AFTER a dinner out with clients. Whew, I still have that demon to overcome. I mention the travel because although I have a laptop, I may have a hard time posting once I get back in the groove of things. I am sure I will see many on the boards because, guess what.....I am addicted to those now. "Ain't addiction a bitch"!!!!
Such a long post, but I have to say Thank you to everyone on this site. I have found a crew of angels sent from heaven! If your banded and need help, you are in the right place!
Until next time..........Tammy
6/9/05
Boy, I am pretty bad at updating my profile. Bad girl! Well, I was 6 weeks out on Wednesday of this week. I blazed out of the gate and lost 21 lbs in the first 4 weeks. After being released to solid proteins a couple of weeks early, I gained a pound. The NP told me that I actually had lost 3 lbs of fat and gained 4 lbs of lean muscle. Please someone tell me how they know that? I cannot figure out how their scales work. I was sure I gained weight because the 3 days prior to my appointment I had traveled (by car) 800 miles in 3 days! Whew what a trip. My water intake was less than half of my normal 80-100 oz's. I just did not have time to take the bathroom breaks.
After the weigh in I had my first fill. I was so nervous, but for no reason. It was simple and virtually painless. It was done under fluro with at barrium swallow. Everything looked great, band placement, pouch size, etc. I wish I could tell how much of a fill I had, but the NP basically smiles and won't tell. All she said was that she was "aggressive" and that my fill was custom made for me and my anatomy. I guess if I pushed she would have told me but she thinks that creates a comparison type situation and we just can't compare ourselves to others. Although I wanted to know, I actually agreed with her. I paid good money for this, if I trusted this group to do the surgery, I should trust that they are taking the best of care of me and my band. As long as it is working, I will go with their advise. I have managed to avoid my scales at home. I only weigh in at appointments...so far. I personally cannot stand the thought of a daily roller coaster ride.
Following the rules for the most part and trusting myself and this little band that lives inside me. I still have an addiction to food and unknown demons that creep up on me at times. I have never known these demons or what they represent but I know they are there and I know that I have used food to keep them at bay for over 37 years. My life to this point has been as close to picture perfect as it could be. God has blessed me with a great family and friends. Only God knows exactly who I am and why I was the ONLY fat person in my family. I really have never had a desire to weed through the reasoning behind my addiction. It must be way to painful for me to approach. Who knows, I am just happy I have this tool to help me out.
More later................Tammy
7/2/05
With my travel schedule, it looks like updating my profile is going to happen monthly. I wish I had more time to spend on this, I feel like I am missing out on so many aspects of this journey. This is where I am today. A little over 2 months post op and have no problems what so ever. I had my first fill at 4 weeks and had restriction for about 4 hours. Then.....no restriction for a couple of days. 3 days after the fill, the restriction came and lasted for another week. Wow, it was great. Since then, it seems to have diminished somewhat and I am looking for another fill this coming Tuesday the 5th of July. I think I have lost a couple of pounds since the last fill but I am not sure since I have sworn off the scales. I only weigh at my Dr.s appointments!
Eating on the road has been tough. I typically leave on Sunday afternoons and return home on Wed or Thur nights. That is just too many meals out! The portions are huge and my head has not caught up with my band yet especially without much restriction. I have asked for half portions and lunch portions everywhere I go and have a hard time finding a restaurant that will accomodate my request. It really goes against everything I have ever known to leave so much food on my plate but what am I to do with it? Ok, even if I have a refrigerator in my room, what should I eat the left overs for breakfast? No way, I just can't do it. So that aspect of eating while traveling has been really hard. So far so good. I basically have started asking that they serve half and pack half. It is working for now.
I can basically eat anything I want. I have had problems with nothing so far. I'm sure with proper restriction that will all change. I have had no PB's. I did however get a bit stuck a few times but it only lasted a minute or so. My fault, too big a bite or eating too fast. The hardest part of this is my insistance on drinking while eating. I have to stop this! I ALWAYS have something to drink, Always! This has been my only struggle so far. I am determined to break this habit one way or another.
My NSV's to date are:
Watch spins on my arm
Rings are bearly hanging on
I feel collar bones
My DH said I was getting prettier every time I come home! Yeah, that is the best of all!
More later!
10/30/05
Last Thursday was my 6 month bandiversary! To date I have lost 47 lbs. It seems like I am a slow loser, but considering what I put in my body and my lack of exercise I am doing just fine. I have had so many things going on in my life since banding. I am fighting a black cloud of depression that just never leaves me for long. The events that seem to have inspired my depression are:
My father sold the business he started in 1969 which leaves my DH, my brother and myself working for another company. Granted, I don't have a problem working for this company, I guess it is just the company heritage paired with the change in the industry (everything comes from China now) that has me looking for another quest in my life. Unfortunately, this is all I know. I have been offered many jobs on the road as a salesperson, but I still don't have the confidence I need to go out on my own. I have the ability but being paid based on what I sell and paying my own expenses scares me to death. Currently, I am the VP of Sales and Marketing and manage 40 representatives over the eastern half of the country. I travel basically 40 weeks out of the year. This attributes to some of my depression I am sure.
My best friend and I have been on shakey terms since my surgery. It seems she has turned this friendship into some sort of competition over everything. We cannot even talk about anything unless she is challenging every decision I make. She wants to argue all of the time. Despite all of my efforts, we just cannot get back to the solid relationship we once had.
My husband and I are not communicating and that seems to be affecting our relationsip to the point of seperation. I mentioned my travel schedule and up until now it has worked for us. I am a go go go girl and he is a stay at home boy. 24/7 has never worked for us. I had surgery and he has lost 20 lbs. He is now a workout guru, running, karate, and basic weights. I know he is trying to encourage me to exercise as well, but he is pushing to the point that I am refusing which is bad for me. He is miserable at work and that is affecting our relationship as well.
All of this along with many others too long to write down just keeps this black cloud hovering over me most (not all) of the time.
My progress and sucess with my band are satisifying to say the least. To be honest, I have never worked my band, I have just let it work me. I have been lucky that it has so far. I know that won't continue forever and doing my part needs to become a priority in my life. I have always had the attitude that I paid for this to do its job and I have just let it.....so far. Don't get me wrong, I have contributed to its sucess by watching what I eat and walking and moving more, but I know I should focus more on myself and being accountable for my actions. I blame a lot of it on my traveling....out to eat every meal. Sometimes it is hard, others it is not. I love japaneese food and meat of any kind so I am lucky in that aspect as well. I have given up bread, butter and sweet tea. I swore before banding that I could live on those three items alone. I am lucky that I do not crave sweets except homemade Chocolate chip cookies. I indulge on a couple of those about once a month, if that. I really think that the Zone Protein bars have curbed my appetite for sweets. If you have not tried these, DO! I typically eat 3 meals a day, sometimes a snack in the late evening if I feel the need. Breakfast comes around 10am after a couple cups of hot coffee- a Zone protein bar.
Lunch is usually chicken and veggies or fish and veggies. I also love the bison burger at Ruby Tuesdays. Low fat and yummy if prepared medium- not well done.
Dinner lately has been some sort of beans. I am addicted to black, brown, white, heck any type of beans. Strange for me, but very filling and full of protein.
I want to mention my third fill which was done on my 6 month bandiversary as well. Last Thursday. This was the only fill I have had that was to say the least eventful. I left the office swallowing water just fine, but as time progressed I continued to get tighter. On Friday morning I had intentions of moving on to full liquids and felt like I needed nutrition so I made cream of wheat thin enough to go thru a straw- No way that was going down. 3 teaspoons full proved that. Back to clears the rest of the day. Saturday morning, coffee gurgled, blended soup came up, and one little curd of cottage cheese came up as well. No kidding! Slime city!! I had never had swelling or complications from fills so I was progressing as before but it just was not working! Finally, Sat night I called the answering service and was surprised that they met me at the office at 10PM to do a slight unfill. WHEW......relief. Thank God! Today, I am completely satisfied with coffee and water so far. No hunger, but I am still a bit raw feeling. I am supposed to do clears or full as tolorated today. She actually said I could do mushies if everything was feeling ok. I don't think so. I will just wait until the hunger pangs show up.
Well, this is my 6 month post. I wish I were inclined to post more often. I do try to make them worthwhile when I find the time to set down and just do it. I have to say, this board has been the best part of my journey. I come here as often as possible and the love and support is amazing. I can be absent for weeks on end and if a problem arises, bam.....everyone is there for me. I mentioned in an earlier message that I feel so selfish for not being more attentive and doing my part. I really think the depression is holding me back from getting more involved. Just know that I read as often as I can and hope to become more involved when I can be a positive influence and not such a downer. Pray for me!
About Me
Athens, TN
Location
48.9
BMI
Surgery
04/27/2005
Surgery Date
Apr 24, 2005
Member Since