Back again and new and improved

Apr 28, 2016

So some catch up is in order.  My last posts were from 2008 just before and after my lap band was put in.  I do not remember much about those early days and the feeling of being happy.  I do think it's sad that I'm looking at my exclamation marks and seeing that I was hopeful that it'd work out.  Sorry to tell you girl but that band isn't going to do too much for you.  I was down 33lbs and thinking about that magic 200lb mark.  I never made it.  I did loose 50lbs but no more than that.  Sadly I also have to report that it was all regained back slowly over time as well.  I had some life changes and food was a confort, a cructch, a I need this quickly and I have no time to do it right, and that weight just found it'self all nice and snug on me again.

So where am I now? This Jan I went in and had my lap band checked and my doc and I agreeded that VSG was a good option for me.  I had to do the normal camera down the throat, sleep study, and other test and then March 14th I had my sugery.  All went well and the demon plastic band came out and my stomach was cut down to a far smaller size.  The first two weeks were not miserable but they were challenging at times.  I had a bad reaction to my glue again, I got dehydrated and thus constapated, and had to work out being on chewable or hard pills.  However Chaney took time off, we got through it all, and I'm at 6 weeks out and I'm almost totally healed up and participating in a work out program.

So here's the part I'm struggling with... how on earth do I not come back here in 1yr or 8yrs and read all these hopes and dreams and not be telling myself... it didn't happen?  I can say I have a far better plan now, the regain and failure of my work with the band has made me think a lot more this time.  The band had a lot of ways around it and VSG has less for sure.  It still has a few that I had to make sure I wasn't going to exploit like drinking my calories.  I had a bad Starbucks addiction that had to be stopped for instance.  I loved cokes, shakes, and other high calories sugary drinks as well.  I deciede they all needed to go.  I do enjoy some sugar in drinks now but now it's a spoon of tang, or 1 pump of sugar for my plain coffee.  It's not perfect but 10gms of sugar is better than 60gms anyday.  While I was at it I needed to stop with all the junk foods like cookies, cake, candy, chips, and other not good for me foods.  I was too into fried foods, pizza, take out chineese, and eating out in general which has all had to stop. It's not been too hard yet to hold back that giant wall of food but as I become more able to eat regularly I can see things peeking over the top of that wall at me and I know that soon the real fight against those foods will begin.

So how do I not fail? I've decided to go low carb and high protien with all choices.  Aside from allowing myself some sugary in drinks occasionally I have not and will not be eating things that are carb forward choices.  Carbs are my down fall, I loved them and was addicted to them.  I can't trust myself with candy and chocolates.  They call to me from the kitchen, I am too weak to resist them, and then I blow through my calories easily.  This would be especially true as I'm only eatting 800 calories a day.  That number gives me enough food that I am fully satified and some wiggle room for some items higher in fat like meat sticks, or a starbucks blacktea lemonaid.  However 800 calories would not allow for a bag of chips, candy, or cookies... there is just not enough room in that number to allow for those items.

So I have a food plan, I do have some work out goals as well but those are not as stong as my no nonsence food plan.  I want to work out enough that my muscles do not waste away during this weight loss process.  I know during this time my body will burn far or muscle so I want to try and stay ahead of it muscle wise.  I enrolled in a program my doc endorsed and it's for other WLS patients.  I have a small 5 person group with a personal trainer who tries to kill us twice each week.  

Food, working out, now my mind how to keep that on track.  I didn't really tell anyone exactly what went on.  Anyone could know that I took the lapband out, however very few know what I did after that.  It's a great choice but it limits some options.  Being fully out about the band, people knew I'd eat less.  But people may or may not know to expect me to eat less now.  But the trade off is people do not know and thus do not add thier thoughts, wishes, or silly questions.  I found it weird last time how many people thought I'd invited them to comment and ask some rather unusual questions about my weight loss path.  So this time I chose to just not deal with people's crazy.  I've been settled with the amount I'm eatting.  I do miss being able to have more but this is a new feeling.  I have been more greatful about being able to eat normal foods han anything these last 6 weeks.  I am happy to be able to eat salmon with a little vigitibles and the fact that it's less hasn't been much of an issue.

Food, working out, mental, and family... Chaney has been rock solid on helping me out and making sure he's also eatting less because it's important that he also lose weight.  Having only the two of us to work with for meals has been great.  Christy has been over several times for dinner and has also listend closely to me about my thought's about all this. She and I know we didn't do near enough work with the band in order for that to have worked out well.  It's sad in retrospect but it's been the foundation on how I'm going to work with food this time.  So am I sad it didn't work, well yes because I would love to be 180 but at the same time I wasn't going to get there in the head space I was in.  So I am happy it went so wrong because it's made me very able to understand my issues.  My family knows and has witnessed Shelly having RNY so I do think they'll have some realistic expectations when I see them.  Chaney's parents are more of a wild card but they always are and we just roll with it.  

So I'm in a good space.  I've lost 40lbs, I at 240 and despritly want to see the 220s as it's lower than anytime with the lap band.  I feel like once past that hurdle I will feel like the crap of the past will be just that the past.  I can't change it but I can learn from it and I can run from it, far far away all the way down to under 200lbs.  My end goal is 180, I want to be healthy, I want to wear cloths and not have a spare tire around me, I want to get undressed on the dive boat and not feel like I'm the fattest person on the boat, I want to use under 20lbs to sink my ass when diving, I want to ride roller coasters, and never have to spend time researching if I can do something because of a weight restriction.  I'm done with this fat suit, I've wore it my whole life.  I don't know how quickly I'm going to get there but I think this time I have the parts and pieces needed to work this out.

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About Me
Dallas , TX
Location
30.7
BMI
VSG
Surgery
03/14/2016
Surgery Date
Surgeon
Sep 17, 2007
Member Since

Before & After
rollover to see after photo
@Blizzcon
275lbs

Friends 16

Latest Blog 17
Back on here
Review of so far
2nd day pre-opt diet
post to someone, wanted to remember my thoughts on this
How am I doing
Going for the Band
Gag
Approved for Lapband
Resubmitted and changed my mind...

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