Question:
I WONDER WILL IT CAUSE PROBLEM WITH MY BOYFRIEND, BUT HE IS ALL FOR IT
— aprilbrown (posted on January 9, 2008)
January 9, 2008
Hi April, I assume you mean will having weight loss surgery and losing
weight cause a problem? We have covered this extensively in my WLS support
groups, and some couples have had difficulties after the surgery,
especially if the other is also overweight. But they also say that the
relationships that seem to run into trouble are the ones who had problems
before the surgery and then had this additional stressor. They say stable
relationships with suppurtive significant others are usually OK. I think
this may be so as evidenced by the many supportive partners who attend both
pre- and postop meetings.
— obeseforever
January 9, 2008
Hi April, I can completely relate to your concern. I am six days post-op
now-Lapband-and back in September when I was doing my research, I asked him
what he thought and I must say he wasn't very happy. I felt as though he
wasn't being supportive at all. We had alot of arguments over this and I
even accused him of perhaps being insecure and perhaps afraid of the
change. I thought maybe he might be too jealous once I lost all the weight.
He said that wasn't the case-it was that he was just concerned with the
actual surgery and the long-term affects of the surgery. He didn't want to
see anything happen to me. As time went on, and he went with me to my
consult with the surgeon and other doctors, he began to feel a little more
comfortable. Although he really didn't talk to me much about the surgery
which made me feel like he really didn't care I kept going forward with the
process and wasn't going to change my decision for anyone. April, I'll tell
you this, don't underestimate how much your boyfriend loves you although he
may not say much about it because I'd never seen how afraid he was of
something happening to me and the worry and love in eyes like the day
before my surgery. We both cried. It was pretty emotional for us...So
bottom line is do it for you and you only because you may or may not always
wake up and go to bed with your boyfriend, but you do with yourself and
only you knows how your weight affects you and how this surgery will change
your life forever for all the best. I don't know what stage of the process
you're at, but whatever it is-keep going. don't stop and if he's all for it
then that's a blessing...the only problem it might cause with your
boyfriend is that he won't want to let you out of his sight!!! LOL Good
Luck! (sorry for the long reply) hope it helped.
— natalie117
January 9, 2008
I did in fact lose my boyfriend after I had surgery. But in the process I
gained a devoted husband and 2 beautiful babies!! So your life may lead
you in a different direction after surgery, so be prepared for anything.
My EX is dating a big girl now (I guess that is what he likes). But we had
so many problems before the surgery too. I was just not brave enough to
let him go.
— GAYLE CARMACK-LYONS
January 9, 2008
My honey and I were b/f & g/f when I first started the process. He was
supportive. We got engaged and then I had the surgery. He is still
supportive and we are planning on marrying in Nov 08'. So it can work out,
too if it is the right man to begin with. I have heard both sides of the
coin and all of the crazy twists in the middle. I think if you are open,
honest, communicate and include them - it will work out. Did for me.
Couldn't be happier with my decision or my honey.
— jammerz
January 10, 2008
I HAVE TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, YES IT WILL BUT IF HE REALLY CARES ABOUT YOU
HE WILL ACCEPT THE THE NEW CHANGES IN YOU. I HOPE YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR
YOU AND NOT HIM, I'M SURE YOU KNOW MEN COME AND GO, BUT THE GOOD ONES WILL
STAND BY YOUR SIDE.
— mommamai
January 10, 2008
My husband was very supportive. He actually gets jealous now. It is
great! LOL!! If your boyfriend cannot deal with the new "Hot
You". Get a new boyfriend.
— Carlyn M.
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