Question:
One adiction for another
I had Bastric Bipass in 06. I was not a drinker before but 2 years out I started drinking to the point that I know I have a problem. I only drink in the evenings at home but I get totally enebrated and black out. I dont drink during the day only after work and weekends and sometimes skip a day or two. Most of the time I dont even drink when we are out for I know that my body does not handle it I normally make it a practice NOT to drink in social situations. Its scaring me and I know I have a problem. My husband does not help with the matter for he is an enabler he finds a weekness and makes it worse he did the same thing before surgery with bringing me junk food and sweets. I have also gained about 40 lbs of my weight back. I suffer from depression and anixiety and do not sleep well. I just feel like a mess. I want to get to that happy place. — Susu9124 (posted on October 26, 2011)
October 26, 2011
I know you have more experience with bypass as I just had my surgery on
July 5th but I have talked with a lot of veterans about the issue of
drinking because I am in my senior year of college and the old saying goes
"drink now because after college its called alcoholism." You have
to be careful with the drinking because you absorb alcohol a lot faster
following surgery and it can reach toxic levels and damage your
liver/kidneys faster. You have probably gained the weight because alcohol
is chopped full of calories. Weeks where I drink a lot are weeks where I
lose less weight or none at all. I would suggest seeing someone because
there is clearly a reason why you cling to some kind of addiction and I
have found getting things off your chest with a neutral party. My program
requires psychologist appointments to deal with the emotional implications
of life in relation to surgery. In terms of your husband you need to tell
him to cut that enabling crap out. Its not cool. I have said this to my
boyfriend several times: he can't support you (in words) and enable your
bad habits (my boyfriend doesn't take good care of himself, eating junk
food and not exercising) because that isn't support and talk is cheap.
— vparkman1990
October 26, 2011
Therapy...Therapy...Therapy!
— browngathers
October 26, 2011
I totally relate to exactly what you are going through. I am two years out
and I cannot handle alcohol, but I love it. We went dancing a couple weeks
ago and my husband told me all kinds of things I did I have absolutely no
memory of doing. One glass of wine and I am chatty cathy and two I am
party girl. Anything after that is all bad. My husband quit drinking 20
years ago so I shouldn't drink at all, but I LOVE it. I know I need to
stop and if I stay busy I don't drink, but the moment I relax or need to
relax, I grab some wine.
So I don't have any words of wisdom of how to stop but just wanted you to
know you are not alone. We have learned that we have to help ourselves.
We are the only ones who can decide how to live so we can stop when we want
to. I just don't want to right now. Maybe tomorrow.
— kellyskomments
October 26, 2011
I had a couple of thoughts here. First of all, are you in contact with
your bariatric doc? They may have some answers for you. Secondly, are you
on medication for your depression and anxiety? Sometimes the reason why
people drink more is to cope with those feelings because it gets temporary
relief. However, alcohol is a depressant and it can actually make those
feelings worse. Also, if you are taking meds, alcohol can interfere with
their effect. It is just not a great idea to mix them. Thirdly, I'm an
addict. WHAT i use didnt matter. Although in the past i used drugs and
alcohol, my main drug was always food. I think where the bariatric
community is falling short, is that we dont require people to get
counseling BEFORE surgeries. I am not talking that quick psychological
evaluation that they have you do. I mean counseling over a period of time.
It is just as important to treat our minds as it is to use the tool to
lose weight and keep it off. I have been in recovery from addiction for
some time. When I feel the urge to use, and these days it is food and not
drugs or alcohol that i crave, i write. I journal and get to the bottom of
what is going on. I talk with other people who have addictions and that
helps. And for me, i pray. I had to learn other coping skills because use
of something outside me to feel better was the only one i had. If this
makes sense to you, you might be an addict too. I was scared of the word
at first. I was scared because i didnt want the stigma attached to it and
i didnt know if i could get any better. I came to understand that doing
harm to my body was way worse than what someone thought when they find out
i consider myself an addict. And besides, i was 450 pounds at my heaviest,
who was i fooling?? I went to counseling for a long time. Got involved in
support groups and really learned about coping skills. THEN i had my
surgery. You may benefit from seeing someone who is knowledgeable about
the addiction process. Alcoholism can kill and certainly it can ruin
lives. There is hope and you dont have to live that way.
— lady_myst
October 27, 2011
You are not alone. I know more people who transferred their addiction to
alcohol than you could imagine, including myself. I finally started going
to AA meetings. I did not think I could stop drinking, and I would not
have been able to on my own. I also did not think I would like going to AA
meetings but I really enjoy them and have met some wonderful people who
have become good friends. Do I still have issues I need to overcome, of
course I do. I can say that with the help of AA, the people in the rooms
and working on the 12 steps, I am addressing issues that I have not wanted
to face or address for a long time. I use to try to eat my problems and
depression away. After surgery I couldn't do that anymore so I tried to
drink them away. I also blacked out every night. It is a terrible feeling
to wake up and not remember the night before. Don't be a functioning
addict, be a living person who enjoys life. Get help now. Don't waste
another day of your precious life!!
— Ladysmilesmuch
October 27, 2011
I commend you on your courage to reach out for help!! That is the first
step :). I strongly encourage you to find an AA meeting TODAY :). You are
not alone. I attended OA before surgery and I still attend meetings even
though I'm 14mos post op. I've tried drinking too, and luckily it makes me
sooooo sick that it keeps me from turning to it to numb out. Keep reaching
out, there is help out there. Praying for you! Keep us posted!!
— Clumsybarbie
October 27, 2011
Addiction is a disease. It doesn't really matter what you are addicted to,
the process and the results are the same. I am a recovering addict and I
know first hand the struggle with addiction. The only treatment is therapy
and a 12 step program. Also, now that you have acknowledged this is a
problem you must act...get rid of the booze in your house, demand that your
spouse not bring it home. Avoid places/people that will trigger your
drinking. When you go to your 12 step meetings get a sponsor. Your sponsor
will guide you in how best to recover, but you have to go 90 meetings in 90
days!!!
— tanyagoodspeed
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