- HEALTH TRACKER
Small Town, MO, USA
Post Op - BMI: 29.3
Surgery Type: RNY
Member ID: B1087396520
Surgeon: Norbert Richardson, M.D.
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Since I did not begin my profile here until after I had my surgery I am going to try and do some back tracking about how things went for me prior to finding ObesityHelp.
I have found reading the other profiles here to help me and I want to offer any little bit of help to others also. None of us are alone in this struggle!!
First of all I want to say that making the decission for surgery is a very important and personal choice! Something that needs to be thought through very seriously. It will change so many things in your life and there are risks involved, people need to know the risks and not think of this as a miracle solution to all their problems!
One thing I had to do before my surgery was to talk to my family and let them know what my choice was in case things did not go well, meaning if there was no real chance for recovery I did not want to be on life support. I did not want to have this discussion and they did not want to hear it, but I needed to do that for my peace of mind and I'm glad I let my wishes be known.
It took me longer to go through all of the acceptance from the hospital and then my insurance than I first thought. When I made up my mind to have it, then I wanted things to move fast!! I learned that NewStart does not move fast! It was frustrating to contact them and hear they couldn't find my information, that someone was not in the office that day, that I had more than 1 file and it caused a mix up. My frustration became high at times. I began the journey in July of 2003, was told once that I probably would get the surgery by the end of the year and it turned out I had my surgery the middle of April 2004.
In April when I went in for my pre-op testing I faced another setback, after my blood tests, EKG, and breathing tests (sorry can't think of the name) I had a visit with the annes. well he saw where my pregnancy test came back positive!! I had to laugh out loud because I knew there was no way I could be pregnant!! Simply a mixup somewhere. They asked, did I have a tubal? No, but still I can't be pregnant I said. They redid the test, I was sure that this time it would be right, well my mouth dropped wide open, again it said positive!! These were blood tests which are better than the urine tests. OK now by then my mind is beginning to play tricks on me, did I have any blackout times? I thought back, no, no blackouts. I told the woman that I understand how someone gets pregnant and believe me, I aint been doing that!! Now I was getting stressed, they told me they can not go through with scheduling the surgery until it can be proven I was not pregnant and they probably won't be able to hold onto the surgery date! Oh good gawd!!!! So I had to contact my pcp and explain the situation to her nurse. It took a few days but she scheduled me to go in for another test at another hospital. Did I mention I was also getting ready to go on vacation and plans could not be changed, flights, hotels all planned and arranged! So I did go in for more testing and then flew out to California with no idea if that test yet came back positive, negative or what, or if I was still going to keep my surgery date! The woman at New Start told me they had never had this happen before, isn't it lovely for me to be the first one, haha I'm first in something huh? Anyway after making a few phone calls I find out that finally this test came back saying that I was NOT pregnant, just like I had been trying to tell everyone thank you very much! Apparently there are many different kinds of tests that can be done and the one my pcp ordered was a more thorough test. It turned out I was still able to hold onto my surgery date so after all my agrivation I was right on the same track I had been on after all. I can laugh some about this now, but I can still remember the dismay I was feeling when I thought this was all going to be yanked away from me!!
As a side note to this, on the morning of my surgery they wanted to run another pregnancy test!! I said Oh Lord No!!! I explained all of the problems from the other tests and the false positives, I had to sign a statement saying that since the last test was run I had not had sex. Which was very true, hello people... I have not had sex in this century ok!! I hope no body has to go through this confusion.
Now when I had my surgery I had to make some arrangements since I was going to be on my own. The hospital is 3 hours away from my home and my family all lives in other states so it was going to be me only. I did not feel it wise to try and come home by myself when I'd be released so I got myself a hotel room outside of St Louis until I had my 1 week check up. I'm glad I did that, I asked for a handicapped room and if I were to have any problems I wasn't far from the hospital and my surgeon.
I have to say my surgery went very well, I had very little pain and never even filled the pain medication script after I left. I was so happy to find out I did have the laproscopic surgery after all, I was worried it would turn out to be open after all. I had a very faint memory of them taking the breathing tube out of my throat as I was coming to, I want to say I had no irritation from the tube. I had 5 small incissions and the one a bit larger where the drain was on my left side. The drain bothered me more than anything. I think it was more just knowing I had this thing in me and having the dressing changed in the hospital it was nasty, then I had to change the dressings once I was out, yuck!! but it doesn't last forever and on my 1 week check up it was removed Yeah!!
On my second day in the hospital I was moving myself around in the bed so I could be on my right side, I've never been one to sleep on my back. I rested a lot, moved my legs often and I was sooooooo thirsty!! I had never gone through such a long time with nothing to drink. Finally a nurse gave me a wet washcloth so I could wipe that on my lips and tongue.
I had brought a book to read in the hospital but I never touched it, talked to family and friends a bit on the phone and the rest of the time was either resting or trying to move a bit. My friend Gena told me later that when she talked to me on the phone the evening of the surgery I was really out of it!! Now I thought I was quite sane!
My favorite thing in the hospital was the inflatable booties they put on your feet and legs, something very comforting about them.
When it came time for me to leave the hospital I was ready to go!! I stayed there 2 days which I think is the normal time for someone having the lap rny.
Thank goodness for priceline, I would not have been able to stay at the hotel I did if it wasn't for them. I did ok driving, took it slow getting in and out of the car. I asked to have a fridge put in my room and after I knew that would be done I went to a grocery store close by and bought the things I would be needing, sugar free jello, crystal light, s.f. popcycles. I'll tell you what, those s.f. pops were a lifesaver to me in those first weeks!! I got myself up and dressed every day. One tip I can give the women is ladies make sure you have a front hooking bra!! I am so happy I had mine.
I wasn't moving fast but I was moving. I was sad that there was a beautiful swimming pool and I couldn't use it.
One of the nicest things that happened to me in this time was when I went to the mall, I happened to wander to the make up counters at the department store and ended up winning a 100.00 shopping spree for cliniqe cosmetics. How much fun was that!! I left carrying bags full of lotions, make up and perfume. It couldn't have happened at a more needed time!! The saddest thing was when I checked into the hotel and they tried to give me fresh baked choc chip cookies, I sure would have jumped on them before surgery!
Surgery on April 13, 2004
I have now lost 74 pounds and have 3 pounds to go below 300!!
My beginning BMI was 57.2
I have noticed many changes already in my body improving, but in some ways it still seems unreal to me.
I am more active now, even exercising and I have NEVER been one to enjoy doing that! I walk on the treadmill, swim and have now added working with some weights.
My clothes are really hanging on me now and I have been able to wear somethings that had never fit me before which is nice.
I don't do well with the hot summer weather and I notice now that I don't sweat so much like I used to.
I really have to work at drinking all my water and there have been days when I didn't get it all in. I do the best I can. It amazes me that I'm OK with not drinking the soda, I was a really big soda drinker before, now it's like something from another life. In many ways I feel like this is another life, a brand new start and this time it's going to be better and much much happier!!
I have a long way to go but I'm on the road now and nobody is going to get me off it!!
If someone had told me 5 years ago I would have this surgery I would have laughed and said no way, I always viewed the surgery as unsafe, if I really wanted to and tried hard enough I could lose the weight. I've had big weight losses before, but always gained it all back plus the extra that comes with it. It got where I couldn't even start trying to eat right. My body was so abused with the junk it was fed. I was tired, sluggish, depressed and lonely. I felt alone with no options but to stay at home and stuff my face with the comfort I've always known. What did it matter if I had 2,000 calories in my meal, I was already so fat what difference would it make.
I nodded my head as my PCP told me how my cholesterol was to high and I needed a low fat diet. Yeah right like that was going to happen!! Just give me a pill for it and let me go on the way I am!! My blood pressure is high? Ok give me a pill! I need to exercise? HAHA!! Not in this life time!!
Why even try, I was to fat, I was to old, this is my life now.
But somewhere deep inside me there was a voice that wanted to be heard. Someone who wanted something better for me, who thought that just maybe I did deserve a better life than what I'd settled for. It was hope, hope for a better and brighter tomorrow. It was also worried that my health would continue to get worse, what if I couldn't work any longer? I was all alone who would take care of me, how would I survive?
After seeing how well the WLS helped a few co-workers I began to research it. Slowly I began to understand it better, I went to a seminar and found out about laproscopic surgery. My belly was so big I didn't know if I could have it!! Would I ever get approved for surgery? Would I survive the surgery? A lot of worries along the way. I was denied the first time, they needed more information on my attempts to lose weight. It was resubmitted and this time I was approved. This whole process took several months. At first I was hoping to have the surgery before the end of 2003 but it didn't happen until April. Looking back at it I see where I easily could have given up on the whole idea. I had to make several phone calls, I had to hound people, I had to set up tests etc, I had to go have a psych exam yikes!! that little voice inside of me did all this, that little seed of hope was growing stronger! When I had first brought the subject of WLS up with my PCP she was not supportive of it, she really stressed the negative things and that stopped me from going forward for some time. It was after I saw another Dr for sinus problems that I began again, he talked to me very honestly about the problems I was facing because of my obesity!! I am very grateful to him!
June 28, 2004
Today I had a visit to my PCP, I have not seen her since before my surgery. Her nurse took me in and told me to step on the scale, ughhh I always hated this part! Before they couldn't get a weight on me because their scale only goes up to 350. Today I was looking forward to seeing my weight at 302 which is what my weight was when I weighed myself last Wednesday. Well I was in for a surprise, I weighed in at 296!! WooHoo I am officially below 300!! How wonderful is that!! It's been years!
I am now 80 pounds less since my surgery.
My Dr was happy to see how well I'm doing and congratulated me on it. I think she is very impressed with my surgeon because she asked if I can bring her some of his business cards.
I had blood work done and go back in a few weeks so will find out then how things are, I am looking forward to hearing my chol. etc are down!
I'm busy both yesterday and today trying to do some yard work, something I haven't done in about 4 years. I just couldn't do it before and paid to have it done. I have a very big yard, I can't do it all at once but I can do a bit at a time.
July 11th 2004
I had to go see Dr Scott last Thursday for a possible stricture. It turned out I did have one and it was dialated with a balloon to open back up. I hope I don't have to go through this again, not as terrible as I thought it would be but still not the most pleasant.
I also went to the regional meet in St Louis yesterday and I was glad I went. There were many people there to speak, vendors offering free samples etc.
I was inspired seeing the people there who have lost so much weight. I hope they have gatherings again at a later time where we can all be even smaller.
I have now lost 83 pounds and go see Dr Richardson for my 3 month check up next Tuesday.
Went to see Dr Richardson last week and the meeting went very well. He's happy with my weight loss and says I couldn't expect to lose any more than I have, that I am doing fantastic! I was a bit dissapointed because the scale is stuck and I'm still at 293 but I know it will start moving again!
He gave me the ok to start eating some citrus which will be nice.
I talked to him about my energy level, or rather the lack of. He told me it's normal and to just keep eating right, slowly it should get better. I hope so!!
We also discussed goal weight. He is going by the average % rate being 70% of weight loss so would be happy to see me at 220 pounds. That is not good enough for me! My own goal is to be under 200 and I'm thinking somewhere between 160-175.
I also met with the nutritionist, they have changed some things around with New Start and now when someone comes in to see the Dr they also get to see the nutritionist so that's a good thing. They both told me I need to be eating more food... wow the first time anybody has ever told me that!!!! I also was told to start taking adult high potency vitamins and calcium caltrate.
I got a letter from my pcp about my blood work and everything is in the normal range! Last year my chol was to high and now it is normal after 3 months post op :)
I may not be normal in my weight yet but my blood is!
I go back to see him in another 3 months, I wonder what my weight will be then?
I did a little clothes shopping the other day. I'm still wearing all my baggy clothes and don't have the money to just replace everything, but I bought a pair of linen capris that were on clearance and a new bra, I really was needing a new bra that fit!! The capris are a size 24 and the bra is a 46C
My size at the beginning was 30/32's and bra size was 52DD.
Why do I have crazy fears????
I have lost 84 pounds and afraid that the package of underwear I bought that are 2 sizes smaller than my old ones will not fit!!! I was actually afraid to try them on.
This has been a good week! I'd been feeling pretty down the last few weeks and it's been because the scale was not moving grrrr I knew in my head I wasn't overeating and that it wouldn't last, but still it got to me!! I started to do a lot of self doubting which does not help!!
Anyway, I weighed myself Weds when I went to the Y and I've lost 5 pounds yeahhhhhh Baby!!!!!! I was so happy I couldn't stop grinning!! Goodbye 290's and happy to meet you 280's
I haven't been doing as much for exercise lately and the reason is my arthritis has really been bothering me, a lot of pain in my hips, knees and lower back OUCH!! Having more trouble sleeping also because of the pain. Made a call into Dr Richardsons office and talked with his nurse, she called back and told me he suggested I can try cellebrex but needed to talk to my rhumatologist so I called his office and explained things to his nurse, he called in the presc for me and I took the first 1 last night, a tiny capsul thank goodness. I seemed to feel a bit better after so hoping it will make the difference!
I have been going to Taco Bell a few times and have had a chicken taco but ask for a hard shell, (40 cents extra due to substituting) just can't do the soft breads!! I can eat almost half of the taco then eat the bits of chicken and cheese from the other part but leave the shell and lettuce. Then I also get a order of pinto beans & cheese to eat later. It sure does cost less now when I order food!!! I used to go through fast food drive ins a lot and probably spent atleast 30.00 a week, now maybe 5.00 lol
I find though that I want to have the experience of going out to eat, I'm ok with not getting the junk stuff, it doesn't bother me to see other people have things I can't have, I just want to be there having my little bits!
Have I mentioned how amazing it is that not drinking sodas is ok with me??? I bet I was drinking 100 oz of soda a day!!
I want to thank Vickie for working on my page here, isn't it pretty!!! I didn't want to much on it so it takes a while to load and she did exactly what I asked for so Thank You Vickie!!!!!
I'm starting to plan my vacation, have 2 weeks the end of Sept and have finally decided what I'll do, going out to Los Angeles for 1 week and then going up to visit my family for the second week.
I love California, wish I lived out there!! I was out there last April right before my surgery and maybe when I go back I'll have hit the 100 pounds lost mark... that would be so cool!! I have 11 pounds to go for that so we'll see. This time I'm planning to go to Disneyland, will be the first time there although I have been to Disney World many times so I look forward to going on the rides I love, especially Splash Mountain and Tower of Terror wheeeeeeeeee I'll be screaming but having a great time haha!! Think it would be a lot of fun if I can meet up with some other WLS people out there to go with me so if anybody is interested in meeting up please drop me a line!!
Looking forward to seeing my family also, I am closest to my sister Patsy and will be staying with her, parents are dead so my sisters and brother are all I have. But a few are there for me and I'm glad for that. Hopefully I will see 1 other sister and my brother. I have always been a bit jealous of people with close knit families, you are so lucky!!
I am taking my new adult multi-vitamin ok, it goes down much easier if I drink carb countdown with it. I am not having much luck taking my citracal!! I break it in half and still it's to big ughhh and lately I just can't get myself to take it. I know I need to, so either have to start trying again or try buying something to replace it.
I get so much out of reading the message board here. Just knowing there are other people with the same struggle as me helps. Sometimes I don't like the bickering that can start and I hope I don't add things to upset anyone. Sometimes I do need to just post my feelings on something but I don't think I say anything I don't believe or say it to cause problems.
Something happened 2 days ago, a wake up call you could say lol, I was at work and walking from one part of the place to the other, had opened my mouth to say something and suddenly BOOM!!!! There I was walking and suddenly for absolutly no reason I tripped over my own feet and down I went, it was so fast I didn't have a chance to even try to stop it. Most of my weight landed on my left knee then I was sprawled out on the floor.. gawd people all looking at me asking if I was ok etc. why do you feel soooo embarrased when this happens?
Anyway... I'm ok, a bit sore and my poor left knee is bruised along with my ego, but I had to think of how bad it would have been if I had done that before WLS!! 89 more pounds on me to fall along with being more unhealthy. So while it was not a good thing to have happen, I couldn't help but see that if a bad thing is going to happen, atleast now I can handle it a bit better... Oh and I also found out that appently I am unable to walk and speak at the same time so will try to work on that!!
August 14th, 2004
Yesterday was my 4 month anniversry and I am feeling good about myself! I hope that doesn't sound bad! I went to my pcp a few days before then and was weighed, I am now down 99 pounds total since surgery!! The weight is coming off better since I've increased my protein and I'm eating more. I'm so happy, both because of more weight coming off and feeling better physically because I'm getting better nutrition. My energy level is improving just like Dr Richardson said it would. Everything is working out, it just needs the time to do it in.
This past week I worked out in my yard 2 days, 1 hour each time and I did ok with that! My legs and back are hurting still because of my arthritis but now with taking cellebrex it seems to be easing up a bit.
One thing strange that happened at the Dr's office was when I was measured, the nurse said I was 5'6 1/2"
Ok now I know I have not shrunk 1 inch since the month before when I was there!!! I think she just messed up when doing it but I'll recheck it myself when able to.
There's a cool front here and it's so nice! I've worn a few of my new shirts and they fit just right! I bought a group of shirts from eBay a while back for cheap, don't really have the money to go out and buy everything new so I hope to find some good bargains when I can. I also can't see spending a lot of money on clothes when they won't fit for long.
I'm not feeling so overwhelmed with stress at work any more and I think it's due to my energy level improving also. There for a while I was really feeling like I just couldn't handle it!! Everything does get better in time! Just sometimes I have a hard time remembering that.
Yes I'm still surrounded by many negative people, but I don't have to allow them to get to me. Thankfully there are some good people also!
I'm still working on planning my vacation in Sept. found a great deal on a rental car up in Minnesota 77.00 for a weeks rental for a full size! It will be so nice to see my family up there. So I will be seeing 1 sister and a brother and maybe 1 other sister if she decides to visit.
My hair for some time now has not been looking good at all, very drab looking, no shine or life to it. Just this past week it is looking so much better!! Really shiny now and I swear the color is so much better. I'm a natural redhead and I think some are thinking I had it dyed lol, anyway I'm happy about the improvement and the other day I even had a man comment about how good my hair looked.
August 19th, 2004
WooHoo!!!! I made it to the 100 pound mark!! Actually when I weighed Monday it was 101 pounds less than when I had WLS. This was a big goal for me and I'm happy! Now I still have a lot of weight to lose, but man having that much fat off of my bones now has made a big difference. This summer I have not had the sweat just dripping off my body like it has the last few years.
Yesterday I weighed myself again and have lost 2 more pounds for a total of 103. Since I've been doing better getting my protein in the weight has been coming off steady every week.
I am not counting the carbs but I do concentrate on eating protein first!! Breads continue to just be to heavy for me and that's fine with me.
On an off topic note I did something this past weekend and will just have to see where it goes.
I've been divorced for 8 years now and decided to join eharmoney.com, I hesitated to do this because of my weight, but finally decided to go ahead and start living instead of saying I'll do it after I get the weight off!! I've done that to many times in the past with so many things. There's been a lot of things I've missed out on because of that kind of thinking!!
Anyway, since I've signed up I have been matched up with a few different fellows, time will tell if there will be someone special for me. I did decide to mention I had WLS in my profile so if someone was bothered by that they could just pass me by and there have been a few who have done just that but that's good, I don't think we would have hit it off.
Weight is now 269 1/2, this week hasn't been the best for my eating. Not eating as much as I should be... wow that sure is different from the problems I've had in the past. Most things just aren't sounding that good to me and I have to keep telling myself to eat!!
I'm also feeling miserable because of this terrible hot humid weather... gawd I hate summer in southeast Missouri ummm misery rather.
I've figured I'm halfway to where I want to be weight wise, sure would be nice if the second half came off as quick as the first but I know it won't, important thing is that it WILL come off!!!!
I got ticked off at Taco Bell yesterday, wanted to order something on my way to work, asked for the same thing I've gotten there before more than a few times, a chicken taco but in a hard shell not the soft shell. Snippy little guy at the window said they could not do that!! I was surprised, was charged a little extra once for substitution, no biggie. I didn't want to spend the time and agrivation to get this sorted out so went on my way and drove to Taco Johns just down the road, got a chicken burrito and ate the stuffing only. I can't handle the flour tortillas but can do ok with the crispy hard shells... oh well.
Up early this morning to drive to St Louis, going to the support meeting there. Haven't been for several weeks now and it will be nice to see everyone. Then am going to a new group that's just getting started!
Sept 13th 2004
Today is my 5 month anniversary! It really doesn't seem like it's been 5 months already!! I went to work out at the Y and have lost another 3 pounds since I weighed last Friday for a total of 115 pounds and weigh 261 pounds.
I'm busy right now getting ready for my trip out to California and then Minnesota/Canada but should be all ready to go by the time Saturday gets here. I'm really looking forward to being at Disneyland and riding Splash Mountain & Tower of Terror!!
This past Saturday I went to the support group meeting in Cape and it was very nice, lots of people there also plus a nutritionist to answer questions. After the meeting I went out for lunch with a few of the ladies and we went to O'Charlies where you can order off the childrens menu, I had the steak tips and subbed the fries for steamed veggies, first time I've had beef since surgery and it tasted so good! I only ate half of it and just a few nibbles of the veggies along with 1/4 of a dinner roll. They meet once a month and I look forward to going again next month.
I realize I spend a lot of my time right now thinking about my surgery, the weight I'm losing, what and how I'm eating. Spending time here on the message boards reading about how everyone else is doing also. It's my big project right now and everything has taken a back seat to it! I'm working on me and I guess it's about time, I avoided myself for quite a while.
For my liquids I'm drinking a lot of the First Harvest drinks from Wal-mart.
I was thinking about something I look forward to doing again one of these days and that is to go horseback riding! Gawd it's been so many years since I've done that. I think that will be my reward for when I get below 200 is to go riding. The last time I went I was 19 and I'm 45 now, man I really did lose a lot of years.
Not a lot happening yet with eharmony.com, I'm e-mailing one fellow every day but it really feels like we're just polite friends, a few others I'm just getting to know a little better. Everything takes time I know.
I'm back home from my vacation. I had a really good time and happy to say I could tell the difference in how I got around etc. On the airplane I did NOT need the seatbelt extender and was much more comfortable in my seat! I spent 1 whole day and evening at Disneyland and had a blast, I walked walked walked so much easier, I never could have done as much before surgery.
One day I went to The Price Is Right and man it was a longggg day! I got there about 4:20 a.m. to stand in the line. I was #58, the #1 person in line got there at 1:00 a.m.!! The show isn't taped until 2:30 p.m. so the whole thing is a long process. Sorry to say I didn't get picked but all in all I did enjoy myself. The show will air on November 30th and I'm sitting in the middle area wearing a bright pink shirt.
Another thing I did out in California was go to a thrift store I'd been to before. Ohh I had fun there!! I found some nice clothes that fit me now (have been wearing baggy for so long!)
Who would have thought I'd be wearing a pair of red Bill Blass jeans! Also got a really nice Denim & Co pants set, pair of tan slacks, 2 sweaters, another pants set & a beautiful Lands End coat. All for the big total of 41.00. I love that store!!
One night I went out to the sunset strip and went to the Comedy Store, lot's of laughs that night. The man who hosts Fear Factor was the headliner and his part was actually being filmed also, he felt bad about all the bright lights needed for the filming and bought everyone a drink. I was drinking a virgin mary, still haven't tried any alcohol.
There is so much to see and do out in California. Spent a day in Santa Monica and had to get my feet wet at the beach! How I wish I could live out there!!! If anybody out there has an extra room and wants to adopt me please let me know!! After a week I went up to visit my sister in Canada, first time I've seen family since way before surgery. It was so good to be up there!! My brother came up there then also and we had such a fun full day the 3 of us. It was beautiful with the fall colors and I was sad when after a week I had to leave.
All the time I was gone I didn't weigh myself, will admit to wondering how I was doing but knew I'd check after I returned. Sometimes it was hard to eat & drink as much as I was supposed to and I know there were days I didn't get as much water in as I needed, I also had a hard time with some of the foods I'd try. In my head there's still a part of me that wants to think and plan to much about foods in my travels. Yesterday I weighed and have lost 8 more pounds so I'm happy about that! Now I'm at 253 for a total of 123 pounds off of me.
Soon it will be my 6 month anniversary, what an interesting journey this has been!! I can't imagine how things will be when I'm at 1 year out!! Sometimes I have fears that things will change and the weight will come back on. I know I have to be responsible for what I'm eating and sometimes I'm not perfect (ok I've NEVER been perfect!)
There were a few times on my trip I really thought about having a soda but I didn't do it.
Yesterday was my 6 month anniversary. It seemed like a big thing to have come 6 months and I thought back to when I was going into the hospital scared. I went to the Y and had a workout and weighed myself, I'm now at 249 and have lost 127 pounds with my shoes and jeans on, thought about stripping down but think thet may have been frowned upon!
I go next week for my 6 month check up with Dr Richardson in St Louis and should be getting blood work done then also.
I wish I had more of a support system around me, sometimes I feel I am so alone but in many ways I am. I spent years keeping people away from me so what should I expect!
The other day I took a look at myself wearing 1 of my old shirts that fit pre-op, it looked so bad on me!!! I told myself I will not wear it again!!! I need to bag up all my things like that and find them a new home.
I've tried beef jerky this week and it agrees with me so that's something new.
I drink chocolate carb countdown every morning for my breakfast.
November 7th 2004
I've been needing to update for a while now. Today I weighed myself and the scale has finally moved again, it was staying on the same spot for a few weeks now and I was getting discouraged! Today I am 135 pounds lighter than my day of surgery!!
I'm having more head hunger now which is being a challenge. Sometimes I'll have something but still staying away from the sugar and high fat, no sodas.
Dr Richardson told me I'm doing great and is very pleased with my results. He said I could add caffine now but so far I haven't, I'm doing so good without it, my sleep is so much better so my thinking is why mess with it!
On my blood work I showed I was low on zinc so I've started taking a suppliment for that and also have started taking biotin to help with my hair loss. Last week I had my hair cut short and it was emotional for me, I've never had short hair before and it feels so strange to not feel it on my neck, I catch myself thinking I need to let it down when I'm going to bed feeling like I just have it tied back. I'm hoping in a few months I can be posting on here that my hair is coming back in thicker and better than before.
I had a new picture taken and am going to try and post it here, let's see if it works!
Well my try at posting my new pic did not work out! I've sent it in to OH and asked them to do it for me.
I've made it past 7 months now, I can remember when I was first out just how bad I wanted to be further down the road!! A few days after my 7 month anniversary I weighed myself and am at 237 pounds now for a loss of 139 pounds!!
My exercise routine has been different, I'm going for physical therapy right now for a injury I got at work, a lot of stretching and work in the pool.
Have had more problems with head hunger and need to work on ways to deal with it.
Went to the support meeting last Saturday that meets once a month which was nice. People bring clothes for exchange and I picked up some shirts that are a 1x and they fit me! Next time I go I will bring my things that are to big now. It's so nice to wear things that fit right and I know the things I can donate will help someone else.
Yesterday I was at the pharmacy and the clerk mentioned my new haircut and that I've lost weight, I mentioned I'd had weight loss surgery. I've never felt the need to keep that quiet, it's always a thought at the back of my head that someone else down the line might be helped/educated by hearing someone had it. Seeing someone else go through it is what helped guide me after all.
I'm 7 pounds away from a goal of mine to get to where I'd lost down to when I was in TOPS. I'd lost 100 pounds then from 330 to 230 pounds. Then I stopped losing, I kept the weight off for a year then it began going back up. This time I'm not going to stop at 230 but keep moving down!!!!
Well here it is, right in the middle of the holiday season. I survived Thanksgiving good enough. I had the traditional turkey dinner, ate a bit and had leftovers the next day. I didn't feel deprived, I had more starch than normal but I didn't go crazy.
I weighed myself this past Weds and am down a total of 149 pounds now and I feel pretty good about that!! I'm not doing perfect about drinking all my fluids but trying to do better.
Today after going to the monthly support group I went to the local goodwill store, first time I've been there. My pants have all gotten so baggy I really needed somethings that fit!! Well they have tons of clothes there!! Of course most still are to small but I was able to find some good buys! I have been wearing a size 24 and now I have jeans & slacks in a size 20. I bought 5 pairs plus a 1x old navy shirt. All for a total of 18.75, now I will bag up the things that are to big and take to the support group next month. I've been used to having to get new clothes because I have gotten to big for some... it sure is a better feeling to have to get new clothes because you need something smaller. Later I can enjoy buying some new clothes but for now I'll be happy at the thrift stores. I could have bought a few other pair of pants but I only took the ones that fit me just right and looked good. It's nice to not have to just settle for anything that will be big enough to fit.
January 9th, 2005
Well Happy New Year!!
2004 sure was a year of change for me!! I'm hoping 2005 will continue to be a year of improvement! I'm just a few days short of my 9 month anniversary for WLS and 2 days ago I weighed in with a total loss of 162 pounds.
I'm working hard to take all of my vitamins/calcium etc. It's become easier to swollow the bigger pills, it's just something I HAVE to do!!
I'm not far away now from getting below 200 and it seems so unreal to me, when I was 376 I just couldn't imagine ever being able to get there and now it's 14 pounds away. I know it probably sounds crazy, but it's scary in a way.
I've been having a lot of computer problems and have not been on the board as much lately but I do come and read a bit when I can.
I still have not had any soda! I'm proud of this because before surgery I never could have believed it could be true!! Just a few nights ago I had a terrible dream where I was drinking a soda and then realized it was not a diet soda but a regular one... it was a horrible feeling and something I don't want to ever happen. I also have stayed away from sugar, 1 time I ate about 1/3 of an oatmeal cookie. I didn't get sick and I don't want to find out if I do or don't dump!
I survived my 1 year post-op!! hooray for me!!
I was hoping to get below 200 by now but the scale is just not moving down and it's agrivating but I'm trying to be patient and tell myself it will in time, yesterday I weighed and it was 4 1/2 pounds over 200.
I've just returned from my vacation, last year I went right before my surgery and had a nice time, but this year was so much better!!! I went to Hawaii for the first time (Maui) using my air miles I've saved for a free ticket. It was so beautiful and I loved every minute I had there. I also went horseback riding when there as my reward for losing the weight, 171 pounds and I don't have to worry about being cruel to a poor horse!! I had such a good time, it had been 19 years since I've been on a horse. I also went on a date there with a guy I'd met through eharmony, the first one I've met in person. I felt a little uncomfortable at first but he was nice and we enjoyed talking for a while, maybe it will just be an island flirtation.
Yesterday & today I've worked on yard work, it was not hard to do, so different from when I couldn't do it at all!
I don't know what I'll be doing for my 2 year WLS anniversary but I'm looking forward to enjoying this coming year and all the changes that it brings.
This is a post I made last summer here on OH that many people have told me they enjoyed so thought I'd put it in. I've changed since I wrote it now that I'm over a year post-op now and it helps me to remember my early days.
I am looking at an empty box here that it's taken me 4 months to empty. When I bought it of course it was full.
I was a newbie then, feeling weak as a kitten and unsure, not knowing what the next 4 months would hold for me. What changes were ahead for me? How much pain? How would things work?
In the beginning every sip of water seemed like a chore, how could I get all that water in!!! Then came the protein shakes, ughhh how could something be so difficult to drink!! I made it through the soft foods, they sounded so good but boy I was surprised when the reality was not as I'd imagined! Who would have thought a simple scrambled egg could be so hard on my little pouch? Slowly day by day I adjusted, slowly my pouch and I made progress. I became better at drinking my water, I made adjustments and got more protein in, I contacted my surgeon when I had problems and had a stricture taken care of and every day I took out of the box.
I chewed and chewed some more, I read the message board for the support and good ideas so many are willing to share, I got excited when I'd find a new sugar free drink!! I'd step on the scale every week holding my breath, scared of what it might say, relieved when it showed a loss, disappointed when it said I was the same! Still I took out of the box. I read the profiles here and they inspired me. I moved more than I did the weeks before. I read of flax and calcium, the heartbreak of denial and the joy of approval, I read of plateaus and sudden drops. Some days I felt so blue I didn't know how to handle myself and questioned what I'd done.
Sometimes I laughed and sometimes I cried, there were some times I'd just shake my head. And daily I took out of the box.
Now I have an empty box and will toss it away like any other trash, but what it held before was 120 days, 120 days of working on the new me, the post-op me. The weak kitten has become a stronger person, I've learned what does and does not work for me at this point. This empty box signifies the length I've traveled down my road of recovery, still needing to travel down the road but now I can look behind me and see the progress that has been made.
Up ahead I see many more boxes, each full and in time needing to be emptied.... all in good time I tell myself, all in good time!
And now I will go because I need to go to town and buy a new box of B-12, a new box that holds 120 days and the journey will continue!
Riding The Trail At The WLS Prom
Everyone looking pretty at the Prom!
May 14th 2005
I am now below 200!!! Wednesday when I weighed the scale said 199.5 and I am still smiling about that! There were many times I doubted I'd ever get here and I have to say it feels so good!
Today I went to my monthly support group meeting and afterwards went to the thrift store where I splurged on new summer clothes. There are some very nice things to find there if you take the time to look. One shirt I liked a lot but didn't buy it because it was TO BIG!! Thanks also to my friend Joni who brought clothes to the meeting that she has outgrown! She is a couple sizes smaller than me and I am happy to get into the pants she has vacated lol
Last Saturday was our Prom and we had such a fun time, I felt glamerous and so glad I went. I had a better time there solo than I did when I went to my senior prom and had a date.
June 27th 2005
Wow the time is just going by so fast! This past weekend I had such a nice time. Went to St Louis to meet some of the people from the OH Singles Board, was great getting to get to see everyone! We had a nice dinner and lots of laughs!! Things have really changed in the romance department. I now have a very special man in my life and I'm so happy about it. His name is John and he lives in Utah. I'm flying out there to see him in July and we just can't wait. I've been able to talk to him about my WLS and he's so understanding about it, asks questions so he can understand how things are, I've actually been able to share with him what my highest weight was and he's seen a picture of me at my highest. I never would have thought I could have someone in my life who is so loving and perfect for me. When I was up in St Louis he surprised me by sending me a dozen red roses to my hotel room, what a surprize that was for me!! He went to a lot of trouble to arrange that, he'd just had the phone # there and called and arranged it all without my knowing. Yesterday when I checked out I had to have the front desk babyset my flowers while I went to do some serious shopping at the mall. I spent about 4 hours there looking for some new clothes for my trip out to see him. It was so much fun trying on pretty things and by the time I left I had 3 bags from Famous-Barr and Victorias Secret. My first night there he's taking me to his favorite Italian restaraunt and the next night we're going to a Greek Festival the town has. I'm so looking forward to spending time with him,we'll have 5 days together :) we talk for hours on the phone every day and he's made such a difference in my life. For the very first time in my life I'm in a relationship where I feel loved and beautiful flaws and all. He tells me all the time I'm beautiful and that's taking some getting used to. I'm going to try and post a pic here of the flowers and of the gang & me at dinner so wish me luck.
I'm back from my trip out to Utah. I had such a wonderful time! John was everything I knew him to be. I'm still asking myself how did I get so lucky!! He did everything he could to make me feel special and show me the time of my life. We joke that we had a 96 hour first date. We're now busy making plans for a trip to New Orleans together in October. I'm going to post a few pictures here of us together. The one with me in the pink was taken the same day I arrived there when he took me to see the Great Salt Lake, the one of us together up in the mountains was taken a few days later when we went up there for a picnic. I'm holding some wildflowers that he'd stopped to pick for me and I'm wearing the beautiful gold & diamond heart necklace that he gave me when I got out there. I'm being spoiled rotten. Can you believe that when we met at the airport he actually picked me up!!! I sure never thought a man would ever do that before WLS. We were also guilty of some PDA down there at baggage claim, I heard some guy telling us to go get a room! lol
The picture of me in the snow was taken up at the top of the mountains where there was still areas of snow, I've never seen snow in July before and it was lots of fun to go get in it!
Now we're back burning up the phone lines and missing each other like crazy. It was so hard to say good-bye the day I left but it's only temporary. I met his family and some of his friends and we both know each other better now since my visit.
We ate out a lot when I was there but I did ok with my weight actually weighing in 1 1/2 pounds lighter than I did the day I left so I'm happy with that! Soon I will be out of the 190's and into the 180's Yesterday I weighed 192 1/2
One day he helped me do a little shopping and I bought a new swim suit, a size 16 and it's plenty loose. By the time I see him in October I might be in a size 14!
Wow it's been a while since I have updated! A lot has happened. I went out to be with John for Christmas, have a 2 week vacation and he proposed to me on Christmas night!! I will try and post some pictures. I am so happy!!
Taken 1 week before surgery.
Taken just past my 4 month anniversary.