- HEALTH TRACKER
Columbus, OH, USA
Post Op - BMI: 64.6
Surgery Type: RNY
Member ID: B1093273767
Surgeon: Dean J. Mikami, M.D.
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HE HATH MADE EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL IN HIS TIME! --
THEREFORE, IF ANYONE IS IN CHRIST, SHE IS A NEW CREATION; OLD THINGS HAVE PASSED AWAY; BEHOLD, ALL THINGS HAVE BECOME NEW!--2CORINTHIANS 5:17
As God has made me a new creation on the inside--I trust Him to make me a new creation on the outside now, too!
Me and my daughter, Emily
I have always been fat! I was teased through out school. I remember walking down the street when I was about 16. I was feeling pretty good in my black jeans and my favorite peach top--actually feeling pretty--and some guy I never saw before walks past me going the other way with his buddies. He looks me dead in the eye and says, "I hate you because you're so fat!" Just like that. Never met him. Don't know who he was. He didn't know me. But I will never forget how devastated I was.
My dad was a gourmet chef and I grew up on a farm with the best food anyone has ever eaten. In high school I had a top weight of 230. I was put on my first medically supervised diet at 6 years of age. My junior year I did not eat for 2 months--just diet pills and diet pop. I got really sick. In college, I was most successful--losing down to 160. But every time, I would hit a plateau, get discouraged, go off my diet, gain back everything I lost, plus more. In 1986, I had a horrible car accident. I was in the hospital, rehab and therapy for a year. I also put on 100 pounds more. I was in so much mental and physical pain. I could hardly move--but I could lift a fork!
I have been inpatient in eating disorder units. I have taken diet pills--rx and otc. I have done Weight Watchers, Victory Fitness, YMCA, Overeaters Anonymous, Atkins, cabbage, grape fruit--like many of you--I am hard pressed to even remember every diet I've been on! My top weight was 353.
It has taken me a long time and many years in therapy to find out there is a lot more to me than what I weigh. I had made my peace with my size. I have a wonderful family who loves me, a fantastic church family, great friends. But I am able to spend less and less quality time with all of them as my health diminishes. I am also unable to serve the Lord in all the ways I want to. As time goes by, my life has become more and more unsatisfying because I am imprisoned by my own body. I want out!
About 8 years ago, I first heard about RNY. I started researching and realized with out this type of assistance, I would probably die: early and morbidly obese! Columbus, OH was the closest place to me that was supposed to be really good at this type of surgery. It is one of the reasons we moved to this state.
For the last several years my health has continued to go down hill. First, hypertension, then apnea, heart problems, spinal problems--I am like an old used car. Soon as I get one thing patched, something else breaks down.
My Great-Aunt Lavinia was the largest person I have ever seen. She spent the last 10 years of her life in bed and a wheel chair and died in her 50's. I will not go like that!
I am ready to do whatever it takes to get this weight off. I have plans! My husband--former Army Airborne-- has promised to take me up to parachute jump when I reach goal weight! (I have always wanted to try that).
Last summer, everyone in my family went horseback riding and I got to stand by the fence and watch. That is not going to happen again! My brother is going to teach me how to rollerblade. I am going to buy my clothes at normal stores. Men are going to be jealous of my husband. I am going to start my own business, planning, catering and doing childrens' parties. And I am going to be around to see my girls grow up!
July 1, 2005
Currently hunting a psychiatrist to do eval who takes medicaid. Planning on having my surgery at OSU. Want a lap RNY. Have med GEM scheduled for July 21. Have filed for a state hearing with medicaid, because we have heard nothing since September of last year, and they won't even return my doctor's phone calls when he has tried to check on the status. We'll see if that does anything.
I AM ON A CLOUD! Just got my insurance approval from medicaid! It can be done! Just took almost a year of waiting.
Now, I've got to tell you how cool God is! They were supposed to do some major spinal surgery on June 28th on my back. They put me out and got me on the table and there were complications trying to position me. There were risks of paralysis and blindness and the surgeon wasn't ready to risk it--so they did not even cut me--just brought me around and sent me home. Little did I know my approval for bariatric surgery came through the same day! If I had had the spinal surgery--it would have delayed the bariatric surgery for months and maybe even indefinately! I just want to praise God, because He knew! I have been praying for years for Him to deliver me from my weight and help me. Now, He is making a way for me to have this wonderful, powerful tool to help me get the weight off and keep it off once and for all! Just knowing I won't have to struggle alone, but will have all the staff at OSU to help me gives me such encouragement! I am so ready for this fight! Here I go for the FINAL BATTLE! I know it will last the rest of my life--but the calvary has finally shown up and I won't ever have to fight it alone again!
July 29, 2005
Yes! Finally got a psych eval scheduled for August 10! Had to apply for SSI and set it up through my caseworker at welfare. They gave me a referral to Dr Ashbrook at Behavior Science Specialists. First, they tried to tell me they couldn't do anything for me, but, thank you to Sister Georgie here at WLS, I knew that wasn't true and kept after them! This is the last piece to accomplish before OSU decides if I am ready for surgery. I already have an intake with a therapist for ongoing therapy other than this evaluation. I just felt it wouldn't hurt to have this in place because I know the surgery is going to make a lot of changes for me, and I'd rather have a therapist I know than chance having to look for one and wait a month for an intake after an issue surfaces. I want to give myself the best possible chance for success. I have not yet found someone who takes food issues and medicaid, but I am continuing to look. In the meantime, at least I have someone lined up. I'll just keep praying about it.
THINGS I NEVER WANT TO FORGET:
I just want a record for myself as I prepare to get healthier and lose weight.
I don't ever want to forget how bad it feels to be this fat! How much I hurt every single day. The joint pain and back pain. The exhaustion. My filthy house I cannot find the energy to clean. The things my family and friends do together which I have to take a pass on because I am too big, too tired, too sore. Telling my kids--"maybe tomorrow, mommy can't right now." Telling my husband--"maybe later-- . . ." Knowing I am the biggest person at every social event I attend. Never being satisfied with how any clothes fit me. Not being able to find anything that fits me, that doesn't look 20 years out of date or cost an arm and a leg. Making sweat pants look like spandex. Turning sideways to get through a turnstyle and walking through on my toes so my belly is over the top of it. Being ashamed to be seen in a bakery, candy store, restaurant, or any place where you eat. Being afraid to sit on other people's furniture. Being afraid my friends and family will be ashamed to be seen with me. KNOWING the bed where I sleep and the couch where I sit are worn out long before the rest of the furniture is. Feeling like my life is over and I'll never again be able to do all the things I love like hiking, biking, horseback riding, etc.
I never want to forget that my husband saw me and loved me when I was invisible to everyone else! He is my touchstone, my anchor. He usually knows what is bothering me before I do. He would give his life for me. Okay, so he can't seem to find the laundry hamper, the kitchen sink or the trash can--but when I really need him--he does not let me down. He brought me roses on his birthday because it was also the birthday of my brother who had died. He saved up the world's worst jokes to tell me when I was in labor with our youngest. He is my knight in shining armor and as I become more visible to other men--I never want to forget I have the best of them all right here at home.
I never want to forget that God has heard my cry for help. That He is my Deliverer and Saviour. That I owe my life to Him and that one of the main reasons for having this surgery is so I can serve Him more fully. That He is the center of my life. That I would rather be called home to heaven right this minute than to ever stray from His side.
August 25, 2005
The OSU committee met yesterday and approved me to go ahead with the surgery! WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then a beautiful Christian sister I have never even met paid the $100.00 for my pre-op dietary training that I did not have. Look how God takes care of everything! My sister may never understand how much that money was worth to me: showing me how much the Father cares for me and how He is taking care of all my needs. What a blessing.
I start my 4 week pre-op dietary on Thursday, September 1, 2005. I should get my surgery consult date any day now and it will take place within those 4 weeks. At that consult I will schedule my surgery as far as I know. I can't believe I am this close. Somebody pinch me. I have prayed for so many years now. Here comes my miracle! Don't ever give up! Don't ever give up! All things are possible with God!
September 27, 2005
Yesterday, I had my surgical consultation and got my date. Only 9 days away! This is going to be the longest week in the history of my life! October 6, 2005 at 8 am I will begin my new life. Thank you Lord Jesus!!!!! God is so good. He has brought me every step of the way and surrounded me with His loving care through so many brothers and sisters! What wonderful support I have. I am so blessed. We don't have a lot of money right now--but we have so very much more!
So, I am on my countdown. Someone will probably have to peel me off the ceiling by next Wednesday. I may ask my Doc for a tranqilizer to get me there! I am such a nervous Nelly! But the mortality rate kind of threw me. 1 in 100 nationally. I'm thinking I better make a will, maybe write some letters just in case. I don't believe it is my time to go and think the Lord has much for me to do yet--but my time is in His hands--not mine. It is a sobering thought. But I am not living right now. I am existing in a body racked with pain all the time. There is so little I can do and I am sleeping my life away. I'd rather those that love me see me die trying than just continuing to try dying.
Enough of that scary stuff. I am going to be positive. God has not brought me this far to abandon me now. He says he will never leave or forsake me. I trust Him.
October 11, 2005
I did it! Here I am 4 days post-op. Everything seems surreal. After working so hard and so long to get the surgery--now I can hardly believe it is over. The days leading up to the surgery were some of the longest of my life. Things have gone well, so far. I had laproscopic and do have some pain and nausea as well as weakness. But I know it is just a matter of time. I am so greatful to God and everyone who supported me to get to this point. God is good! I will write in more detail when I am feeling a bit more me.
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My beautiful daughters, Emily and Sarah, and our great soccer dog, Clifford! And now you will see the girls and I clowning around!
My profile would not be complete without giving you a chance to see my gorgeous husband! I want to do so many things with him--horse-back riding, hang gliding, and growing old!
The first picture was taken at our wedding. The second is more recent.
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DISPLAY OF WARPED AND SOMETIMES INAPPROPRIATE SENSE OF HUMOR:
Why do I want this surgery?
A picture is worth a thousand words!
Did you ever get this hungry?
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Surgeon: Dean J. Mikami, M.D.