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Meka N. 18 years, 2 months ago

Kelly, I really hope everything works out for you. Godspeed, Malika

empowered 18 years, 2 months ago

Did I mention that my spelling stinks... Ill try and do better next time. peace all!

empowered 18 years, 2 months ago

Hi all ok so its me. I am in limbo... Waiting to meet teh man who may change my life. I am hoping th get surgery. This is a major change for em because just two years ago I wrote a scathing piece talking about my anger at being harrassed into having surgery. now here I am wanting it to happen. Willing to drive 5 1/2 in the snow to meet with the guy who may change my life. Why the hell can I not loose this weight on my own? Why can I suck it up and just diet.? Why do I need surgery? am I a failure because I can not get a handle on this weight? I still find myself questioning wether thsi surgery is going to be the miracle I am looking for. I guess time will tell. hey doc... Is it hard being in the position of telling people yes I will operate on you or not I wont? I have been rejhected several times because I am so fat. Will this guy be the guy that changes my life? I do not mean to sound ... whatever... I just do not want to put my hope into something that will be so high risk... and could have such finality. Yet again... if it works it could change my life. Do I sound synical? I do not want to become another memorial. I just want my life to work, to make sence, to be healthy. I would like to be able to sit my ass in a normal chair, is that too much to ask? peace... out