ObesityHelp

I am a 27yr old in Kansas City area. A Single mom of one crazy 4yr old boy- I have been studying surgery Since Jan2001 and sent my first letter in April 19th. I am going to try to keep this updated if anything for me.- My insurance company tells me I should hear from them in 10-15 days. Im nervous and excited both at the same time. My family is ok with this and alot of people support me even though they might not understand. I am scared to leave my son though but I will not be the the mom on the sidelines. First diet at age 8yrs old. Graduated High school at 400lbs-I got down to 200lbs in college kept it off for about 2yrs - started gradually putting it back on then wham Im pregnate and I gain alot back. Im about 340 now. I am trying to stop smoking because I have heard that alot of Doctors will not do the surgery till you do. (That is hell and I have been such a bitch lately but I know that I should stop anyway) If Im going to do this for my health then I might as well go all the way.

May 9, 2001
** I am approved as of today May 9th. I has my psych exam monday and it will take a week to get that back then I make an appt with the Dr. Everyone is supportive. Im already hating the idea of leaving my son for 4 days or so but I have to. Ive done ok on the smoking thing. Ive been bouncing off the walls though. I am usually calm but not since I stopped. And I am moody and argumentative. I wish I could just hold up in my house till all this passes.

** I am nervous about the Physc exam- I never know how sane I am/

**Ok Im done the the Psyce exam. Took me a little over 3 hours. Everything was fine, The Dr (Dr. Jeffery Miller in Blue Springs) was great. He said he didn't see at problem at all and wishes me the best. I wonder now if I did ok because I really come off at times like I have the biggest ego. (Self esteam is not a big problem for me sometimes) I was who I am. He is going to send me a copy of what he sends to the Dr.

*** BIG UPDATE!! CHange in plans!!!!!!! May 16th, 2001 (I figured I better start putting dates on here)
Well this medical crap is never ending. I found out today that my Dr's for the surgery is not on my insurance providers list therfore I would have to pay a 500$ deductable plus 20% of the bill (which I am told would be around $4000.00). Whille Im sure this is worth the money- screw that If I can get it for free. I am cking into a Dr here in KC- Dr. Helling and another one Dr. Richerdson that is in Washington MO. We will see. The insurance will pay 100% of everything with either Dr but I might have to go through getting approval agian. I have been on the phone so much calling back and forth my head hurts (AND I CAN"T SMOKE!!)
I did finally find out why they do not want you to smoke though. Smoking promotes blood clots that could cause an embolism that can kill you. It is very high risk to do any surgery at all with someone that smokes. So at least they have a good reason. It just sucks especially because this all stresses you out.

**Went to my first support group meeting which was the best thing ever even though it felt so corney going to a "support group". I was really nervous going by myself and not knowing anyone but soon relaxed and tried not to cry. I heard how people getting lap done can `get back to doing things sooner and Dr. Richardson does lap. Sohmmmm.

** May20th, 2001-- Man- every one and their brothers-mothers-uncles-otherbrothers -dog has some opinion on this surgery. I try to be an open person and very straight forward but GOD! Everyone has to put their 2 cents in. And people just feel free to say things that are incorrect. Really people in general are like this and it is my biggest irritation. I know Im not an "expert" or a doctor but I feel I do have a grasp about what Im talking about. People come up with some weird storys about their brothers uncles ex wife that had this done and had to have her self commited insane or legs cut off or some stupid thing. I can't belive all the stories I have heard already. It is just anoying to me how people can be so stupid and talk about things they have no idea about. I know of the complications -- People really freaking anoy me sometimes! (Sorry had to rant for a minute)

**- Dr Richardson is 3 hours away from me. He has many more requirements than Helling like support groups and nutrition classes. Dr Helling dosen't require anything and from what I have talked to people about he is a great surgen but that is it. I really want the best of all worlds for me. I want the information/ great surgen/ diet info/ everything. I want the best for myself. I even found out that Helling dosen't even require you to eat anything diffrent from regular foods after. That really bothers me. Anyway, I have an appt 5-23 for Dr. Norbert Richardson in Washington MO. I told them everything I have already done. They were great and told me to come in and ck it out and talk to the Dr and then we would go from there. If this is the one then my surgery would probably end up being around September/October, I hope not for Halloween!! . Someone made a comment about me swiching Drs and that I am wasting time and should just get it done. Well sorry I want it done soon but I would wait a year for the right Dr and the right surgery. Anyone that just rushes to any Doctor for a major surgery or anything is an idiot.

**May 23rd-2001---- First I would like to say - I can't spell the best and when I get on here I just type and don't look back. Anyway I drove all the way out to Union/ Washington MO today. 3 and a half hour drive. Really liked Dr. Richardson but they will not take the approval I got for the onther Dr. They want me to fill out paperwork all over agian! Well Im going to . I don't have any reason to think that they will not approve me agian - it didn't take two long the first time. I have already had my evaluation and stuff done so.. I would wait till approved/ then go in for testing they do and get a surgery date. He does Lap- He studied with on of the Dr's that helped develop the process. He was so nice and honest and very clear as to what it requires in commentment etc. I think he will be the one I stick with here. I felt really good. I will Fax in my paperwork Friday.

**May 30th-- Ok I know looking back and what Im about to write I probably sound like a total bitch but I really don't care. I got my Psych exam back- The Dr said that I was an excellent canadate for the surgery. I proabaly wont update for awhille because it will proabably be about a month till I hear from them on approval.

** jULY 23RD -- uM ALOT HAS HAPPENDED- I have a surgery date Aug 23rd- i am kind of freaking out. I know it will be ok though- I have to go do testing and I will update agian after that.

**Aug 15th -- I have been through all my pre op testing. Im all ready (they told me) for surgery. I can't handle the wait. Seems like nothing slows down in the mean time with work and Im seeing someone now and family stuff. It is so bad Im almost looking forward to being in the hospital just to get away from everything right now. I just want to be there. The waiting is getting to me. Also all my friends want to take me out and do stuff and I just dont have enough time. Weird I started this back in Jan and Im saying there isnt enough time huh Anyway I am excited about everything.


**Aug 22nd- DAMN- this time tommorow I will be in surgury.I have been so emotional- my friends are so wonderful. I have alot to be happy for. I have a great family, My boyfriend is the best and he is so wonderfull I could not even begian to explain, I have the best truesest friends that love me, and a son that is everything to me. Ive really trieed to make my peace with everything just to cover myself. I know in my heart I will be ok. I have so much to be thankful for and I am so glad I can do this for myself. I am really scared - I want it to be done and me be in pain in the hospital. Once the actuall surgury is over I think I will be able to deal. Im going to take my son out for lunch then I will be heading to Washington with my mother to stay in a hotel then have surgury in the morning. Good luck to me!!

*****Aug 26** My surgury is over= I am on the other side- Everything went really really well I thought there was going to be alot more pain (well I had imagined it way worse) I had Lap and I will be satying at my moms for a week or so. I will write more latter but everything is going great-

***SEPTEMBER 7th- Well today is my birthday - Everything is going really good. I havent had it too bad at all. I don't go back to work till Oct 3rd. Im week but fine. Im eating the protien drinks and soft stuff like mashpotatoes and yogert and tuna. It is like 3 - 4 bites and Im done though. not hungry- I do want to eat but not hungry. Im not going to weight myself till I go to the Dr next because I dont think my scale works right. I can see a bit of diffrence . I can feel it too.

**October 11th-- Sorry havent updated I got really sick and had to have my gallbladder out - that was harder for me to bounce back from cause I was already tired and worn down but Im doing really good now. I go back to work really soon- I have lost like 50 lbs already and Im never hungry. I have to force myself to eat at times.

***DEc 1st- Im eating more/ and liking food agian / I feel like I eat alot but when you look at how much I actually eat it really isnt/ Im trying to keep things in perspective so that I dont over eat or become belimic which I could see happening. I do throw up like ever 3-4 days though or when I when I eat to much bread or suger. I have had some surger but only in tea. I think I have lost like 80lbs but I dont weigh myuself much and wont agian till Jan-- Everything is going good- Im so happy I didi this.

***Dec 29th I think I have lost like 80-100 lbs not sure- I dont weigh myself- I will in Jany 16 when I go back to dr. I am losing some hair- went to protien bars instead of shakes/ eating whitch like what seems like a lot but it really isnt noting compaired to other people. I can tell in all my clothes and shoes and rings/ it is amazing best think I have ever done. Im so pretty!!!! hehe. can even play the guitar better. having less panic attackes// Im alot happier.

**November 22, 2003 - Been about 3 years- I lost about 180 and got down to 220 but then I have gained about 15-20lbs back ---- *things I regret : being lazy I should have worked out way more*also eating to much suger and started drinking pop agian *BUT I dont regret I stopped smoking before I gained weight back so think that had some to do with it- Still the best thing I ever did in my life!!! NEVER will regret it!!!! Looking into geting skin removed now- Im tired of the skin hanging over my jeans etc. I see my body then the skin hanging out from it and it bothers me. Im with a great guy now - feel in love and he is 380lbs hehe - hes AWSOME 1 I love him so much - hes now actually thinking about the weight loss surgery - his knees are bad at 27 thats just not good- but I cant make the decision for him- I love him no matter what- I just want him to live and be happy so we will see