ObesityHelp

I've been researching this surgery since approximately 1998. I have visited and revisited this site to read about the doctors, hospitals, and results. I am pleased to be ready for the surgery and am very confident that all will go well.
I am pleased with Dr. Barba and his staff, and all the appointments that I had to go to because that only meant he was being thorough. My insurance was also great because it took them 2 days to give approval. I can't wait for my surgery and to become a loser! I scheduled my surgery between semesters because I don't want to interupt one moment of grad school.

3/19/02....I'm waiting for my surgery date, it seems as though it's so far away. I know that I need this date for the surgery but I'm also anxious. I can't wait to find the old me. I've completed all of my preliminary tests. Now it's just to wait.

4/4/02.....7 Weeks to go! It seems like it's going so slow. I'm excited and anxious.

5/4/02......It's May!!! OMG the surgery is right around the corner! I have to say that this last month I have gone through many changes personal and professional. I have contemplated on postponing the surgery because of all the craziness in my life right now. I also know it wouldn't be fair to me to do that so I've been able to cope and not postpone. I have binged and gained some weight and I feel guilty about that. I have also bounced back off of that kick and gottem back to watch what I eat. I was being rediculous because I was eating things and saying that, "I'd better eat this now because I'm not going to be able to later" What a dumb move! Yes, I guess I'm still beating myself up for that. But like I said, I seem to be back on track...Thank goodness!

5/13/02......I only have a few days to go. I've discovered with the help of my friend that I've been in mourning. I've been grieving the impending loss of the Laura who has been growing mentally and emotionally for the past few years. She has grown into someone I admire. Although I don't want to loose her, I know I am ready to bring the new Laura out to meet the world. It feels like I'll be taking off a shell of someone who I didn't know well, and replacing the shell with a new "coat" of someone who has been fighting to emerge for the past few years. I can't wait to meet her!

5/15/02......Tomorrow I go for my last minute bloodwork. I can't believe on Tuesday I will begin my new life. It's exciting, but I'm nervous at the same time.

5/20/02......Tomorrow I will have my surgery.
So here I sit after finishing my breakfast, one that I've always enjoyed. I had a two egg swiss cheese omlete, two italian sausages, buttered toast and coffee. It was delicious. It was also the last big breakfast that I will be eating. I would like to have lobster for dinner tonight and plan on taking the kids out to eat for my purely selfish reason. I am looking forward to being on the other side. I am also nervous about it. It's hard to see, usually I can see before I do. I know that sounds weird but that's one of the ways I can get to where I want to be. I know that I envision myself obtaining my degree, and I can also see myself walking down to receive it in my cap and gown. When I do see myself graduating, I see a thinner me; but I've always seen a thinner me when I envision myself doing anything. It's ironic that when I dream at night or when I see myself in the future I always see the thin me. I'm at that point in my life that I'm looking forward to not having this fat in the way. I plan on doing a lot of walking, I plan on purchasing a bike to ride with my children around town. I want to go swimming, and hiking and enjoy the parts of life I've taken for granted all along. I want to go to Grand Canyon and I want to go on a cruise. I know these sound like wants and wishes that I can do right now, but my fat is in my way. I can't walk far, I can't hike, and it's difficult sitting in the seat in the airplane. I was embarrassed when the flight attendant during my last trip asked me if I needed an extension for the seatbelt. I told her no but I really could have used it because the belt was very tight across my hips. I am looking forward to the new me, I hope to set a good example for my children, and teach them the importance of diet and exercise. Heed my words, don't take life for granted. Live life to the fullest, enjoy the fact that you can walk far, climb stairs and run. I soon will be walking, climbing and running with you. BMI 59.2

6/28/02....Things are going well, no complications. My BMI is now 53.5. 29lbs gone since 5/21.