ObesityHelp

7-14-03
I'm a recently widowed grandmother...lord that makes me sound older than 51! My 2 1/2 year old Grand-Daughter keeps me going on the days when the depression of grieving strikes.
My husband and I did reenacting of the American 19th Century, and I dream of being able to sew myself some of the beautiful gowns I see in Vintage pattern books...if only the patterns came in 3X! Alas....>sigh<
I'm a rubber stamp enthusiast, love metaphysics, science fiction, a good tear-jerker romance novel now and again, and -of course- studying history.
If that weren't enough, I'm also a amateur videographer and have been writing screenplays (one of these days I may even feel they're good enough to do something with!) AND I'm on the Board of Directors of an event called the Marching Through History Exposition, a military timeline event that spans from Colonial to Gulf (and the more recent conflict) complete with battle reenactments and living history camps the public can visit.
You would think with all these activities, I'd be skinny as a rail. I wish! I've had to back off a lot of my activities due to my weight and the onset of arthritis. I'm doing better now, but I SO long for my former level of participation!
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08-14-03
I had a visit with my PCP and told him I want WLS. He said that before I could apply, I had to meet with a Kaiser nutritionist and undergo 6 months of medically supervised dieting. I asked him if my time with Lindora wouldn't cover that, and he said no, it wouldn't. He said he was in favor of my having the surgery, but that Kaiser just has certain criteria that I need to meet before they'll approve the surgery.
I also have to get a letter from the psychiatrist I'm seeing to verify that my depression is in an acceptable stage of control. That shouldn't be any problem.
Tomorrow I have to contact the nutritionist to set up an appointment, and I also have to find out when their next weight management class is being held. This six month delay is going to drive me nuts, and I'm worried that if I DO lose a bunch of weight on their program, they'll say I don't qualify. Losing weight has not been a problem. Keeping it OFF has been the problem. I've lost the same 50 pounds over and over and over...which will no doubt sound hauntingly familiar to anyone who reads this. I had HOPED to have most of this weight gone by my 52nd birthday next June. Doesn't look like that's in the cards at this point. >sigh<
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8-26-03
I have an appointment for attending the weightloss class Kaiser is insisting on, which it turns out I have to do BEFORE I see the nutritionist. I also have an appointment to see my psychiatrist for my regular visit, and to get the letter that Kaiser has requested of me. Another has been set the same week for a colon cancer screening (they've been after me to get THAT since I turned 50, and since there's a history in my family, I guess they're right.) I'm also going to get my annual ob-gyn exam, and a mammogram (again a family history, so I need to keep on top of this one).
I've been using the time to really explore the glories of this wonderful site (see my board posting under Historical Reenactment) and I've made contact by phone and email with several members who post here. THANK YOU ALL FOR THE WONDERFUL EMAILS, BY THE WAY!! ;-) I've also begun to read the profiles BEHIND the before and after pics. I'm beginning to get a pretty good concensus of what to expect; from surgical pain, average weight loss per week, plateaus, the necessity of things like chewing, water intake, protein needs, exercise, dumping, plastic surgery issues, the joys of achievement as each level is reached (the half century, century etc), the reactions of friends and family -both good and bad- EVERYTHING that someone considering this surgery needs to know! Please! READ-READ-READ! And don't be afraid to email someone with questions or encouragement! Even though I'm a newbie to all of this, communication and education have been paramount to me. I've also ordered the magazine and a couple of books, and am anxiously awaiting their arrival. Now I'm looking into support groups to attend so I can talk more one-on-one to those who've "been there."
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9-20-03
I have met with some of the posters on this board, and it was wonderful to get a chance to talk to them one-on-one. We met at a bookstore (my favorite place to go, and you don't have to be reminded about food the way you would if you met in a restaurant). One gal, Marcie, was 3weeks post-op, and the second, Maureen had WLS in June. It gave me an interesting perspective to talk to Marcie, as a recent post-op, and then to see the interaction of Marcie with Maureen, who's been post-op longer. We all plan to meet again, and keep up our "mini" support group. I would encourage anyone considering this surgery to try to meet local people in your area. Even just talking on the phone can be educational, as well as a means of making friends who can be there when you have questions.

I went to my appointment for the sigmoidoscopy (colon cancer screening)but I wasn't able to complete the procedure. Apparently, when I had my hysterectomy, the coils of the lower colon "fell" into the void created by the removed organs, and it created a bend in the colon that the camera just couldn't get past without causing me a great deal of pain, and I was afraid that even if I could endure the pain, it might tear something. They agreed to stop, and I'm going to have to do a barium enema test on the 25th. (I just want it OVER with.) It was facinating to watch the progress of the camera during the part of the test I was able to endure. I felt like I was watching the Discovery Channel..until it suddenly hit me: THAT'S ME I'M LOOKING AT! EEEEEWWWWWWWW!

One of the other posters I've been emailing, who also had Kaiser, was relating that she'd gone to the Weight Management/Nutrition Class that I'm scheduled to go to on the 22nd. They told her that she wasn't at the right class, and that she needed to attend a WLS Education Class. Taking this as a cue, I contacted Kaiser and requested to be booked for the next WLS Eduation Class. They finally found me one on October 20th. I figured I'm not going to wait until Kaiser springs another hoop on me! If they have "standard WLS pre-req's" they should have them printed on a brochure or handout so you can "check off" what you've accomplished. It would make things standard for all patients. One thing I learned from the two ladies I met with, with Kaiser your PCP can either make the way rougher or smoother...which means there IS no standard. Whereas my PCP WOULDN'T accept my Lindora records as meeting the requirements for "medically supervised weight loss," Marcie's PCP DID accept her records from Weight Watchers. Go Figure! Both ladies told me not to worry about the 6month requirement; it would pass quickly enough, and the time can be spent researching the info on this site. I also called Pacific Bariatric in San Diego, where Kaiser sends it's patients who have WLS. I asked whether Kaiser assigned me a doctor, or if I was supposed to pick out one myself. They said I would have to attend a class when I'm done with my 6 month diet, and I would fill out paperwork at the class. I was told that there are like 31 different pre-op tests I have to complete, and that the paperwork is only good for 6 months, so it would do me no good to see them now. Both Marcie and Maureen had good things to say about their surgeons at this hospital, so I'm feeling a little more confident about going there. Well, nuf' for this update, I think! I've begun experimenting with creating a webpage...maybe soon this won't be such an ordinary looking profile site. I've really enjoyed some of the creativity exhibited in these profile sites.


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10-19-03

Thought I'd post tonight, though I was going to wait until after I took the WLS Class at Kaiser tomorrow night. I've started Weight Watchers (3rd week)and I'm still not sure how Kaiser is going to react to any weight I might lose. I also plan to talk to Lindora tomorrow to see if they have any documentation on me that I can use to speed up the process. There's just GOT TO BE some way I can get Kaiser to accept my Lindora records. Lindora IS a medically supervised diet, whereas WW is run by lay-people, not nurses or doctors. I'll post back in a few days when I have more info on what I was able to accomplish.
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10-20-03

Back again! I'm excited! I went to the Kaiser WLS class(almost standing room only) and found out I can ask my PCP 2 submit my application NOW, because the process takes up to 6 months anyway, and I can continue my diet with WW during that time. I also found out that I can go to the Pacific Bariatric seminar next month on November 6th, and get THAT ball rolling, too. I'm JUST SOOOOOOO HAPPY! I had visions that I would have to wait until next March or April to even have my doctor submit my application, and THEN wait ANOTHER six months to get the surgery. If everything works out the way I hope, I may be getting a SURGERY DATE by March or April instead!

I thought I knew a lot about what to expect after the surgery from the posts and profiles I've read on this site, but I did actually learn a few things from a lady who's had the surgery who came in to talk to us about her post surgery experience. I got her phone number, and found out about support group meeting held not far from where I work that pre-ops can attend on the third week of each month. I'm definitely going to check it out. And you can guess where I'm going with this PCP referral form in my hot little hand tomorrow! I also signed up for a dietician consult, too. I should hear about that in a few weeks. I feel like a weight has been lifted (mentally speaking).

I also found out that when I get weighed at the Pacific Bariatric meeting, I will have to lose 10%(minimum) of my weight before they'll do surgery. That means it's ok to lose weight on Weight Watchers..it won't jeopardize my surgery.

Another thing I was told was that I need to start doing protein drinks now, replacing at least one meal a day; to start working at getting 48-64oz of water in; and to be sure that I'm working out regularly at the health club I joined.

Re the protein drinks, the postie who spoke said that if you don't start drinking the protein now, and the surgeons go "in" to work on you, sewing you up again is like trying to stitch wet klenex and expecting the stitches to stay in! She recommended ISOPURE, and gave some tips on how to get protein in as a postie. I knew about blending protein drinks, etc, but I honestly never stopped to think about letting the mixture "sit" to allow airbubbles in the liquid time to settle. Another gem for my "future post-op notebook." There was more, but I'm mentally exhausted, and I've GOT to get up early in the morning, so I'll post more in a few days, after I get that referral to my PCP.
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10-22-03

Went to see my PCP today, gave him the referral and a copy of my records from Lindora. He was concerned that my records with Lindora were "spotty" and not truely 6 months. I told I was doing WW now, and showed him my record card (which I guard for dear life!), and that at the Kaiser WLS class, they said that since the approval takes about 6 mo's anyway, to go ahead and start the process now, get the labs & consults done..but don't miss any WW weeks. He agreed to start the process, and I began my labs today (also got a flu shot while I was at it.) I go to a seminar at Pacific Bariatric on November 4th in San Diego. I was originally going to go to one in Riverside on the 6th, but I'm only an hour away from where the San Diego site, and about 2-3 hours (depending on rush hour traffic) from the Riverside location.

I feel like the ball is finally rolling! I'm supposed to hear within the next few weeks re my consultation with the Kaiser nutritionist, I already have the Psych eval, my labs are underway, and soon I'll be getting my packet from Pacific Bariatric to get that part of the process going. It's really starting to happen! I just pray nothing happens to slow the process down. I know the Kaiser approval committee only meets to ok these surgeries a few times a year, and I hope I don't miss the next "window of opportunity." I'll update again after the meeting with Pacific Bariatric on the 4th.
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11-04-03

I had a busy day today. This morning I went to Kaiser because they said there was a problem the the blood tests I did the previous week, and the doctor had ordered more tests. They said that I might be anemic. I went this afternoon to a meeting with a Kaiser Dietician. We mostly talked about people we knew who'd had the surgery. Then this evening I went to a seminar at Pacific Bariatric in San Diego. I got a folder full of paperwork, and found out that even though I've already done a psych eval with Kaiser, I have to do another one thru Pacific Bariatric, because Kaiser doesn't have hospital privilages with Scripps Mercy Hospital. Grrrrrr. Nothing like having to do everything TWICE!!
I also have a list of the blood tests that I need, and which -hopefully- I've already done. The blood tests are good for 6 months. I've also got to call Kaiser tomorrow to get a gall bladder ultrasound done (which is good for a year). I just wish I knew where I was in the approval process.

There's a test you have to take, in addition to filling out about a 9 page form of your medical history. And, I've got to lose 26 pounds before the surgery. I was glad to see that with the exercise requirement, they're on the honor system. I could just see myself telling LA Fitness that I needed a copy of my attendance records. NOT! The Doctor at the seminar said he recommended that the best way to lose weight between now and surgery was to substitute breakfast and lunch with a protein drink (they recommended Pro-Complex)and then for dinner have a high protein (no carb) meal...and to walk several miles a day. The Doctor said that they've found that the patients they've had do this, have done better with the surgery, with fewer complications. They're now making losing weight a requirement for surgery (it didn't used to be, I gather). Under no conditions can you GAIN ANY WEIGHT.

With regards to the surgery itself, someone asked about the size of the scar. She was concerned because of the tendency of African American skin to have keloid (sp?)scar tissue. The Doctor said that the incision is about 6 inches long, and they use subcutaneous dissolveable stitches and NO stitches on the TOP layer of skin, only steri-strips. You can take a shower 2 days after surgery, and soap and water won't affect it. He said this isn't common practice with all surgeons, but it is with Pacific Bariatric. I also got another question answered about the surgery itself, as to whether or not the two portions of the stomach are just stapled off, or if they're completely separated. He said they DO completely separate the two sections, with staples and stitches. I'm told that's the best way for it to be done, so I'm glad.
Well, that's enough for now, I think! I'll update again as soon as I've something new to report.
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11-09-03

I've had a few developments this last week. I called my PCP to request the gallbladder ultrasound, which is now scheduled for 11-14-03, and I got the news that the second round of blood tests I'd done the week before had confirmed that I'm anemic,(sp?) and NOW he wants to do a colonoscopy to see if I have a bleeding ulcer. I do occasionaly get nauseated from the Effexor that my Psych prescribed to me earlier this year, but it's not as severe as it was before, because he lowered the dosage. I've already attempted a sigmoidoscopy that had to be abandonned in favor of a barrium test, because the first procedure was too painful for me. Now I'm told that the test I have to do is similar to the sigmoidoscopy, but that I'll be sedated when it's done. None of the other tests found any problem, so I don't understand what gives. I donate blood on a regular basis, and I've only been turned down one time for my iron level being too low..and that was more than a year ago. Usually they just tell you to up your iron intake, or eat more liver, or whatever. That's why I'm a little puzzled about this test. As it turns out, there's no appointments available until the early part of January..unless I get a WLS date that's sooner...not bloody likely. I suspect that if it were URGENT, he'd have put that into the referral, but he didn't. In the meantime, I'm finishing up my paperwork for Pacific Bariatric, and when I go for the ultrasound, I'll give them the paperwork to forward the test results to PB. HOPEFULLY, that will be the last of the tests that I'll have to do until I'm closer to my surgery. The ultra sound is good for a year. The blood tests are good for 6 months.

I'm finding a number of tolerable high protein food bars and drinks, that have as many as 35 grams of protein and 2-4 carbs. I'm still trying to track down Pro Complex. I've checked 3-4 places so far, and I haven't found it. I guess I'll have to break down and go to a regular nutrition store. So far, all the bars I've tried have taste ok. I just wish they had a little more "substance" to them. I'm trying to practice chewing really thoroughly, but these bars practically dissolve on my tongue. Guess I'll have to get my chewing practice in with some other food! LOL! ---until next time!
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11-28-03

Alright, now I'm really mad! I followed thru like the dietician told me to, and called to see the status of the application I gave the doctor a couple of months ago. Only to find he's still waiting for me to finish 6 months of Weight Watchers. This is in SPITE of the fact that the gal who teaches the WLS class said to go ahead and get the approval paperwork going because it takes 6 months to get approval anyway! I just had a call from my Dr's nurse, who said the PCP had spoken to that lady, and that he still intends to wait for evidence that I haven't lost any weight after 6 months on Weight Watchers. I lost it! I told the nurse ANYONE can lose weight on a diet! The whole point is that the Morbidly Obese CAN'T KEEP IT OFF! I told her that I felt that my PCP was stonewalling me deliberately. She seemed sympathetic, and mentioned that today was my PCP'S LAST DAY WITH KAISER ANYWAY, and that if I feel I want to talk to another doctor, I could call and book an appointment. She recommended the doctor who's taking over my PCP's patients, who currently works out of another office, and is said to be very good.

I'm going to make an appointment to meet with her. And I'm going armed...with all the medical research documentation I've loaded into 2 large notebooks, the books I've read on WLS, information I've gotten from this website, and even my copy of the ObesityHelp.com Magazine. If THAT doesn't convince her that I'm serious about this, and I'm NOT just someone who heard about WLS and wants to jump on the band-wagon of the "latest weight-loss craze," then I'll move on to the next doctor, and the next, until I find one who believes me. I wouldn't be so upset about this, if it weren't for several factors. #1: my PCP lied to me. The purpose of the documentation ISN'T to prove I CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT ON A REGULAR DIET, it's to prove I can't KEEP IT OFF, and that I HAVE TRIED OTHER METHODS BEFORE WITHOUT LONG TERM SUCCESS. THAT'S the issue, LONG TERM SUCCESS, not whether I can take off weight on a diet or not. I am just so angry and frustrated at this point.

Another thing that I'm upset about is him saying that I'm anemic and that I need a total colonoscopy. I have an appointment for THAT January 6th, for which I need someone ELSE to TAKE A DAY OFF WORK to drive me home from having the procedure. I don't understand why he's going this route, rather than just prescribing an iron suppliment or something nutritionally related. He said he wants to "rule out a stomach ulcer." After everything else that I've been through with this guy, I've decided to get an independant blood test to see if I'm REALLY anemic. Especially since Kaiser was perfectly happy to take a BLOOD DONATION from me two months before this PCP decided that I'm "too anemic!" I'm seeing an OB/GYN who's outside of Kaiser, and I'm due to see him for an annual checkup. I'll ask him to run the blood tests. I'm sure he will when I explain the situation.

It just kills me that I've lost all this time with someone who was SUPPOSED to be helping me! By the time I see the new PCP and try to get HER to help me, more time will be lost. I'll probably have to have some of the tests I've already done repeated.

Why couldn't this have happened BEFORE open enrollment ended??? I thought everything was moving along just fine, so I decided NOT TO CHANGE PROVIDERS! Had I know THIS, I WOULD HAVE!!!
grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!
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01-26-04

Today was a pretty wonderful day! I went to see my new PCP, a woman named Dr.Le, and had an EKG done.(normal) and then she sat down in her office with me to review where I stand with my ap for surgery. I had to do a blood test last Thursday, and it came back showing me anemic again. I reminded her that I had been sick with the flu the first two weeks of the month, so she's agreed to redo the test in another month. In the meantime,she wants me to up my iron. She says that WLS depletes your iron, because you can't metabalize it as well, often resulting in severe iron deficiencies. If I can't get my iron back up to normal before I have surgery, it could mean that I'd have to have monthly iron shots (which she says are painful)or possibly even an IV for iron. It's a good thing I actually LIKE liver! I'm going to have to be more consistant about taking my vitamins. In the meantime, she wants me to do a test to make sure that I'm not losing blood internally, so I have to do one of THOSE TESTS for three days. I hate bathroom tests! YUK! But, we have to know.

I cancelled the colonoscopy the other PCP had scheduled, because I was sick with the flu, and I told the new PCP that unless she could prove to me there was a valid reason for it, I'm not going to reschedule it. She agreed with me.

She said that the other PCP's notes about my application indicated that although I had done most of the tests, he was following "instructions" that said HE had to have a SIX MONTH RELATIONSHIP with the patient, to observe weightloss efforts and to do an evaluation of my psychological stability for surgery. EXCUSE ME? Apart from the fact that he never even told me that he didn't even plan to be AROUND six months for "evaluation," a person can be a PCP's patient on the books for years, and not have a six month long "relationship" with them. The only time you see your doctor is when you're sick or injured, so how is this supposed to happen???? I told Dr Le about my limited success with Weight Watchers (I've lost like the same 4-6 pounds over and over the last 3 months)and about Lindora. I explained to her also that I'm fully aware from my visit to the Pacific Bariatric class that I need to lose 25 pounds before surgery, and that since I've started working out everyday again, I expected to be able to achieve that goal in plenty of time. In the end SHE AGREED TO SUBMIT MY APLICATION TO THE DOCTOR WHO APPROVES OR DENIES THE APPLICATIONS. She told me to call her back in 2-3 weeks for his answer. Once it is approved, this doctor sends it on to Pacific Bariatric. Suffice it to say, I was as pleased as I could be, under the circumstances. At least something is HAPPENING!

Oh yeah, the other thing that happened to make my day. After my appointment, I stopped by where my daughter was working, and found her about bouncing off the walls. She had decided not to wait until her ob/gyn appointment tomorrow, and had bought one of those kits to do her own test. It came out POSITIVE! SHE'S PREGNANT! My second Grandchild is on it's way!!!! The only person NOT PLEASED with this news ways my 3 year-old Grand Daughter. She got VERY upset! When her Dad asked if she wanted a little brother or sister, she said "NO!" After a while, she finally admitted a little sister MIGHT be okay. Now watch it be a boy!

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03-05-06

Not a lot to update at this point really, as I'm now in the "waiting game." I've redone blood tests twice, along with a couple of other tests I won't go into, and although they haven't found any internal bleeding, they're still showing me slightly anemic, even though my iron levels have improved. The doctor said she'd test again in two months, and she wants me to take an iron pill daily. Now, she SAID that she's turned in my paperwork for review (ie: to find out if I have the approval for surgery.) She tells me it's now in the hands of a Dr. Davenport. I don't know who this is exactly, except I gather the approval or denial comes down from him...and a nurse said this could take anywhere from weeks to months. Great! Just what I need...another long wait.

In the meantime, I go from exercising almost every day, to not exercising for a week or two...I keep hurting myself by trying to do too much. I tend to try to do what the "normal" people do, and end up pulling a muscle or over-doing it so much I can't move the next day. I will be so glad for the day I AM one of the "normal people." Thanks to damage to both of my knees, complicated by arthritis, I'll never be able to jog or run, but I would like to at least be able to walk faster. And I can certainly work on things like abdominals, tush and arms. I suspect my ability to get plastic surgery later will depend on self-pay, so anything I can do to lessen my future need for it, the better.
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3-30-04

I contacted Kaiser to give my PCP a message that I wanted to know the status of my application. Later in the morning I got a phone call from Pacific Bariatric that they'd just received my approval letter! It turned out to be a coincidence, because my PCP's nurse called me later to say that the paperwork and been submitted and that I just have to wait for the approval. They didn't know that Pacific Bariatric had called.
I've been going through the paperwork PB gave me when I attended the class last November (I just missed having to take the class over again). Now I have to have Kaiser forward the results of my tests to PB. I know from the class that I've got to do all the test over again at Scripps Mercy, because they're not part of the Kaiser family and they want their own tests. I'm hoping the consult will be scheduled quickly so I can get my surgery date before I chicken out. It's funny, but now that I'm getting to the point where something is REALLY happening, and I'm re-reading all the restrictions and whatnot, a part of me is saying "Is this REALLY what I want to do?? Would another stab at a diet work?" But, as I was writing out my diet history, and all the failed efforts, I knew this was my last resort. I'm using the experiences of friends who've had the surgery and said that they don't regret it even though it was hard at first, to bolster my decision. Each person's experience is unique, and I understand that. I'm putting my trust in God to see me through this. Now, I've got to get busy losing the rest of those 26 pounds I need to lose before surgery!
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04-11-04

As if things haven't been difficult enough to get to the point where my surgery is approved and I'm expecting a call next week to book my pre-op labs at Scripps, I got a letter in the mail from my Union (CWA Communications Workers of America) that on April 19th they're going to have a Union Membership vote about going out on strike.

The stress of this whole situation is really getting to me. Here it is, Easter day, and I'M THE BASKET-CASE!! PRAY TO GOD THIS STRIKE DOESN'T HAPPEN! There were actually people KILLED during the last (grocery store) strike..over HEATHCARE COPAY FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! What's happened to our sanity???

I don't know how I'm going to function these next few weeks, I really don't. I don't even want to visit family today...I just want to sit here and cry my eyes out.(Don't worry, when I'm this stress-out, I don't eat...sometimes for days. Food just isn't important).
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04-14-04

Got a call from Pacific Bariatric's appt scheduler re my consults. All three are scheduled for April 21st, and all are at different offices. Guess I'm spending the day in San Diego! I'm excited, because it puts me one step closer to "the other side," and getting rid of this horrible weight I've carried so long.
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04/21/04

I just got back from San Diego, and I've successfully completed my consultations. My Surgeon will be Dr.Lawrence Tanaka, who's the same surgeon my friend Maureen had (and recommends highly). Dr.Tanaka said that I'm a candidate only for the open rny because of my hysterectomy. I'm not to sure what that has to do with it, because it's a different area of the body, but I suspect it probably has to do with the "rearrangement" of the colon, which has shifted since the surgery to remove my womb and ovaries, etc. That fine. I told him I'm OK with that. Then he wrote out a list of all the things that could go wrong, up to and including death. He emphasised each one, not glossing over any of the potential hazards, from leaks to infections, possible paralysis, etc. (I hadn't heard about the possible paralysis before, but it still doesn't deter me.) I'm sure I faced similar risks during the hysterectomy, including death. Sometimes when it comes to your health, you have to do things to achieve a healthier outcome, even at the risk of death. Death could have come to me from a cancerous uterus, but I took to risk to remove it. I'll do the same to resolve my respiratory and arthritic issues (at least alieviate some of the arthritic pain agravated by my weight). If I don't do this, I could die anyway, from obesity related diseases. I don't as yet have heart trouble (apart from a slight murmur that I thought had gone away), or diabetes or high blood pressure, but every year my weight has crept higher and higher. My PCP has cautioned me about cholesterol, and my blood sugars. Diabetes was waiting in the wings, according to her.

I had been a little worried about the psych eval, after hearing other posters say that it seemed very stressful. I had no problems. There was a four page "personality test" and I spent about a half hour talking to the psychologist about my diet efforts, and all the research I did to understand what I was going to be facing. He said he felt that I would have excellent success with the surgery. He did suggest that I try to talk to someone who DIDN'T have success with the surgery, just to get both sides of the picture. He also recommended attending a support group, even if only as a back-up to using the resources of this site.

With the consult now behind me, I'm told I should get a call from the scheduler in about two weeks. I'm anxious to get an actual date. In the meantime, it's time to clean out the kitchen, stockpile post-op supplies, exercise, work on getting in 64 ounces of water, substituting a minumum of one protein drink a day for a meal, and working on a positive mental attitude!

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05-03-04

Drum roll please! trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm!*symbol creshendo*
I HAVE A DATE!!!!!!!!!!!!! June 2nd at 2:30pm with Dr.Tanaka at Scripps Mercy General Hospital in San Diego. (Unless there's a cancellation, which would move the date up.)

This event is only slightly overshadowed by finding out this evening that my Grandchild-to-be is going to be a boy! At least now I'll be around to get to play with him. (His future big sister is a little disappointed. She already had picked out the name, Emma. But she'll get over it. Next time. Right?)

As I sit here, I think about the posts by people who were about to go into the hospital. "what do I bring?""how long can I expect to be off?" "what can I eat before/after surgery?" etc. Now all the answers I read are running around in my brain. Thank God for this website. I'm more prepared for this surgery than I've been for any other surgery I've ever had before! People who know about it, are cautiously congratulatory..how do you get excited about going under the knife??? They all say they hope I know what I'm doing, and that they hope I have the sort of success I'm hoping to have. I know they'll be watching to see how much weight I take off and how fast.

Tonight my Sister-in-Law and I were talking about tummy tucks and body lifts, and she was saying that if I work out really hard, I probably won't even need one. Wishful thinking, but I intend to make it as minimally necessary as possible. That said, one has to remember that muscle is muscle and flabby skin is flabby skin. I'll just have to see.

I think I'm pretty realistic about my goals for this surgery. The Before and After Gallery has been very educational and enlightening, especially reading the profiles of those who's pictures impressed me the most. Getting to meet several members, and hear (and see) their stories first hand has also been a big part of my choice to do this at all! Now the count down begins. I told my Boss that since I have to go to San Diego for pre-op labs etc on June 1st, that's probably when I'll begin my disability time. I expect to be out 2-3 weeks, depending on my recovery rate. I'm a good healer, and I plan to do a lot of walking. It's actually an activity I enjoy...when my legs aren't in pain. With the warm weather (it was over 95 degrees today...wilt,wilt,wilt...I have no excuses not to go down to the beach and walk along the shoreline. Like, why not enjoy the view while I'm healing my physical and emotional body? By this time next year, I hope to be down more than a hundred pounds. That's going to make it all so worthwhile!

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05-05-04

I have an ANGEL! My friend, Maureen, had agreed to become my Angel. She had the same surgeon that I'm going to have, and she says that I'm in good hands. She'll be posting my "status reports" as such, on the boards. I'm so blessed to have such wonderful support!

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05-31-04

Three more days, and so much to do! I've stocked up on post-op food, I've got to get my things ready for the hospital. I've got my nerves as much under control as I'm going to be able to manage...now for "those last details we always cringe to face." That right. I'm now sitting down to write down my "what if" instructions to my Loved Ones, and I'm preparing a WILL. Sounds like stuff I should already have in place, right? Yes, I should. We all should. But, do we? I've never had anything of monetary value to leave someone...no money, property, etc. In California an estate under $10,000 in value doesn't have to be probated. But now I've got an awkward situation. Due to recent passings in the family, I may (one day) have an estate over that amount. Not by much, but enough that now I've got to do something about it now, so my family doesn't have to go through what I've had to go through with someone passing that didn't make out a WILL.

Another task I've put off, figuring I'll eventually get to fixing it...renaming my insurance beneficiary. It was orginally my husband, but he passed away in 2000. I heard at work that someone's wife was left with nothing because her husband had never changed his beneficiary. It's something we rarely consciously think about, because it reminds us of our mortality, and no one wants to face that thought. If we're going to spare our Loved Ones grief on top of mourning our passing, we've got to get over that and be practical. I can't contact my company's insurance office until tomorrow, because of the holiday today, but tomorrow, that's the first thing on my TO DO list.

I've sat here thinking, making tough decisions...in case. Does this mean I'm going into surgery Wednesday thinking I'm gonna die? No way! I've got a Grand Child coming in September, and I fully intend to be there when he gets here. But, one look at the memorial page, and I have to acknowledge sometimes GOD has other plans for us. Having recently lost two family members, I'm probably more conscious of the complications that no advanced preparation can cause. I want to just do what MUST be done, and SHOULD have been done long before this surgery was at hand. You spare your Loved Ones making painful decisions on your behalf if they know your wishes in advance. Terminate if Brain-dead? Donate organs? Cremate or bury? Sounds goulish, but I've had to answer questions much like this in the last 4 years, and I was never comfortable that it would have been what they wanted.

If you're reading this, and you haven't had surgery yet, don't get scared, just get real. You should be aware that these decisions should be settled even if you're just on a weekend cruise, or visiting relatives, or if you've let things go and haven't updated your WILL, or BENEFICIARIES. Have the children grown up? Have you divorced and/or remarried? Have you bought a house? A Car? If your kids are young, who would you want raising them? Who will have Power of Attorney if you're permanently disabled? If these things are up to date, does anyone KNOW WHERE TO FIND THE LEGAL PAPERS? I was talking to a young friend of my Daughter's last night, and she said, "oh, yeah, my Parents make out a NEW WILL everytime they go on a trip. And they alway give me a list of phone numbers before they go." Smart parents. Well, I've got a lot still to do. I'll update after my pre-ops tomorrow.

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06-01-04

Got through pre-ops ok. No lab work, just info about the surgery, nutritional info for after the surgery, learned how to use a "spirometer" for breathing therapy after surgery, got measured for the binder I'll have after surgery, heard a talk by one of the anesthesia doctors, and filled out a LOT of paperwork.

Because I'm considered "local" (meaning I live within an hour of the hospital) I don't have to get a hotel room after. I can just come home. They give the first post-op checkups to the out of town people, because of travel schedules, etc, so I'm not sure when my first post op appointment will be.

I'm about as ready as I guess I can be. I'm tired tonight, because I only slept about 4 hours last night. I'll be sleeping plenty after the surgery. I can make up for it. Besides, I don't have to drive, I can doze on the way to the hospital.

I spoke by phone to a lot of family members tonight, and they kept asking if this was what I really felt I wanted to do. I've thought about that a lot, and I can honestly say yes...and no. I wish that there were another way than surgery, but years of dieting have accomplished nothing but setbacks and frustration. As I've watched my health sliding downhill, and knowing I'm not getting any younger, I've decided that this is it. If this fails, I give up. But, I'm not going to let it fail! I'm at peace with my choice. It's right for me. Maybe not for someone else, it's a very personal decision. Everything has to be weighed as far as pros and cons, risks vs benefits. No one should rush into this like the latest "diet craze" because it's permenent. It's something you'll live with the rest of your life. And that can be a good thing.

I'll post again after I get home...my Angel, Maureen, will post updates on the message boards for me until I get home. She's a blessing!
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06-07-04

I got home from the hospital yesterday. I was too tired to post anything. It's so sad. I was in such a hurry to get home to see the Lakers game, then I fell asleep on the couch and never saw it! (sadly, they lost. Just the first game of finals. They'll get it together now)

I was at Scripps Mercy in San Diego, which is an excellent hospital to have WLS. Out of the last 2586 WLS Pacific Bariatric has done there, they've had NO deaths! As a group they've done more than 27,000 surgeries. I've learned that they train other surgeons in WLS techniques. If I had it to do again (God forbid) I would go the same route (PB at Scripps Mercy) I've already filled out a hospital survey, so I won't go through that again here. The hospital rooms on the surgical floors are semi-private, you generally will have a roommate. I was fortunate that the two women that shared my room (one for 2 days, the other for 3 days) were very nice ladies. The surgical floor is for all surgical patients, so I was lucky that my roommate were WLS patients.
A word of advice: even if you think you're going to die, WALK! They get you out of bed to walk on your first day, and they encourage you to walk every 2 to 4 hours. This helps your lungs and to prevent blood clots. You actually do feel better the more you walk.
Another word of advice: don't weigh yourself! You're on IV's, and that stuff is pumping bags full of liquids into you. One of my roommates made that mistake, because she found a scale in the hall on one of her walks. She'd gained 11 pounds since surgery! She was really upset, until the IV fluid was explained to her.
I've decided to be patient; my first post-op visit is Wednesday, and I will find out what I've lost or gained then...not before.
I'll post more later.
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06-12-04

I went to my first post-op visit Wednesday, and was disappointed to have only lost two pounds. That's OK, because I weighed myself today, and I'm at 235, which is down 11 pounds from what I weighed on surgery day. I'm satisfied. Things are moving in the right direction.

At my post-op visit, I told my doctor that I was having trouble breathing, and had pain in my left lung. I didn't know if the problem was the lung or the ribs really. He asked me a few questions, and just told me to keep using the breathing gizmo and walk more, drink more fluids, and that I had to stay on clear liquids for another week, then I could move on to stage two foods.

My Daughter was with me at the visit, and said that I wasn't insistant enough about the pain. I decided to post on the message boards and ask if anyone else had had this problem. The responses I got back were to immediately check things out with my PCP. I tried to get an appointment, but she was booked. I then was urged by my doctor's nurse to go to the Emergi-care asap, as she had spoken to another doctor, and he felt this is what was needed in case of a blood clot. Several hours later I had been EKG'd, had blood taken, and had X-rays. The result: no blood clot, but I DO have pneumonia in my left lung. I was prescribed an antibiotic and inhaler, and told to keep walking, using the breathing thingie hourly, and see my PCP in 7 days.

What gets me, is that the doctor in the clinic who listened to my lungs said he could clearly hear fluid in the lung. So why couldn't my surgeon? This is the first really disappointing thing that's happen with him. He's very highly recommended, and my friend, Maureen felt I'd gotten the best surgeon in the group. Did he hear it, and say nothing for some reason? I don't know. I did call his office the next day to tell them about the Emergi-care visit and results. They said OK, they'd let him know. I didn't hear from him. I don't see him again until late July. At least I've got something to take care of the infection in the lung.

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6-15-04

OK, I didn't want to spend my Birthday in the ER, but that's where I spent 6 hours yesterday. I've had severe cramping in my left calf, and when I called the Surgeon's office about it, they said it could possibly be a blood-clot, and to go to the ER right away. They did a deep vein ultrasound, and found nothing.
On the one hand I'm relieved it's not a blood-clot, but it really messed up my day.

Determined to walk off the cramp, I took an extremely long walk. Pretty dumb, because the first half of the walk was downhill. Guess what that means? Yup! the second half of the walk was ALL uphill. It took me 3 times as long to walk back as it took to get down the hill. I had to stop every other house and catch my breath. I've GOT to get that treadmill out from under all the Xmas tree boxes!

My Daughter had gotten pretty alarmed because I was gone so long. She said my face was completely red when I came back. Except for being winded though, I feel pretty good. I've not had this much energy in a long time. I actually still feel like I've got the energy to tackle cleaning the kitchen and do the laundry. The only bummer is, that my calf is STILL SORE!!
My family is planning to go to Sea World in San Diego Sunday. It'll be nice to be able to walk around without needing a wheelchair! And to think, a week ago I couldn't even make it to the end of the street and back!
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08-03-04
Wow! I didn't realize it had been so long since I'd posted an update. I come on the boards nearly everyday to "keep up" with what's going on, though I don't always post anything. I hadn't even realized I hadn't updated until I got an OH message suggesting that since I'm now 2 months post-op, I should update my page. So, here I am!

I missed my 1 month post-op visit last month, because I got stuck in traffic for more than 2hours, and the Surgeon couldn't wait. What a wasted trip. I got another appointment to see him next week. I'm down to a slightly tight size 16 from the 3X tops and 2X bottoms I wore before surgery. Boy, do I have to go through my closet to clean things out! I'm not buying many clothes, because I'm still a LONG WAY from goal, and hopefully these things won't fit me for long. At least they're new, and I can find a good home for them. My other old clothes are on the threadbare side, as I hated buying clothes, and would just make do as long as I could. With the exception of dressy clothes, I doubt I'd have much anyone would want for anything but rags!

Weight-wise, I'm not down as much as I'd hoped to be at this point. I'm wise enough to know that losing inches is good enough, the weight will move eventually. I was 259 when I started this journey. I was 248 at my pre-op visit the day before surgery. I was 216 this morning. That's a total loss of 43 pounds since the start of this journey, and 32 pounds since surgery. Many have lost significantly more at this point, and I know I need to be working out more, and making smaller portions when I eat. I'm patient. I'm at least getting in my protein, because I've discovered a protein drink I really like that has 35 grams of protein in it. 2 cans a day, and anything else is gravy! I wish I could tell others about it, but since I sell it, I can't advertise it. I'm bound by the rules of my business administrator that I can't do a banner ad either. Kind of frustrating that I have such a wonderful product that I can't tell anyone about!

I don't know the results of my latest blood-work, but I'm not concerned, because I'm back to my pre-op level of taking vitamin supplements. Again, they're all products I sell, so I can't even name them, but they include a multi, taken 2x's daily, a chewable fruit&vitamin equal to 5 servings, a hair/skin/nails supplement, a iron/folic acid, a carb blocker, and a calcium/D/magneseum supplement. Because iron and calcium can't be taken together, and some of these are taken more than once a day, I feel like I'm taking vitamins all day. That's OK. At least I don't have to worry if I'm getting enough through my food alone. I really worried about that in the beginning, because I had tried grinding my vitamins up with applesause, and decided I'd rather die than try to gag that green slime down several times a day. One of the things I did, was heavily research my line of vitamins, and found out that they are designed to dissolve within 30 minutes. That's why I spread them out. I don't worry that a tablet I take will clog my stoma.

I wish getting in 64 oz of fluid were that easy! I've got a 32oz sports bottle, and I figure 2 of those a day and I've got it covered. But, at work as a telephone operator, I'm lucky to get in 32oz, let alone 64! I keep plugging away, and I even keep a full bottle on my nightstand, in case I wake in the middle of the night!

Well, I guess that's enough for now. I'll post again next week after my (slightly more than)"one month" check up!
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11-11-04

It's been quite awhile since I updated. As of today, I've had my (slightly more than) one month check up, and due to 3 appointment cancellations,(1 by me, 2 by Dr Tanaka) I've yet to have my 3 month check up. I did get my blood work done, and it showed that my iron and B levels were a bit low, so I've upped my intake of both. I'm going in today to get my iron levels redone to see if they've improved. My 3 (now going on 6)month checkup is scheduled for December 8th.

The only problems I've developed lately is occasional constipation, which has triggered bleeding issues. I'm going in for a flex-sigmoidoscopy on December 3rd to make sure that there are no polyps in my colon and that the bleeding is just hemeroids. I'm told constipation can cause hemeroids, but the bleeding was so severe, I became alarmed and went to my PCP to check it out, fearing it might be some complication of the surgery. It's not. I'm not looking forward to the flex test, because I attempted one earlier this year, and it was so painful I made them stop. Hopefully having lost over 50 pounds (yea me!) will make the test easier, because most of the weight I've lost is in the area of my lower abdomen (at least that's where I've lost the most inches!).

Now, as to my weight loss and other significant changes. I confess myself (again) to be a slow loser. This is OK with me, because I'm having a hard enough time keeping up with the wardrobe changes. I started at surgery in a size 3x top/dress and 2x pants. When I started this process (to get the surgery) I was at 259 lbs) I'm now -as of today- at 199 lbs. 60 lbs GONE GONE GONE!!!! I'm also down to a size 12-14. I didn't wear THAT small of a size even the last time I weighed 199 lbs (which was over 10 years ago). ObesityHelp has been the main beneficiary of my outsized clothes. I donated a bunch to be taken to the October Conference (which at the last minute I was unable to attend -BLAST! I really wanted to go, too!)

I never thought I'd break that 200 lb barrier. I'm terrible about consistant exercising, and getting in the water is still a chore. Another problem is that I seem to be able to eat just about anything I want (though in little quantities), and this ISN'T GOOD!) I've had no problem going back to my old vitamin regimen, and that's a LOT of vitamins..twice a day. The good news is, that I'm not worried about vitamin deficiency or getting the latest flu bug. That's good, considering the lack of flu vaccines again this year. I'm trying to decipline myself with regards to what I eat, because I NEVER want to see a number starting with 2 on my scales again!!!!!

I enjoy going to the support meetings, but I've had to miss the last two months due to conflicting meetings with another organization I belong to, but hey! I get to announce that I'm FINALLY UNDER 200 LSB! at the next meeting! Now I have to get an updated picture of me on my web page. I've been waiting until I got under 200 lbs to do that.

People at work are constantly walking by my desk to complement me on how good I'm looking now. I've had people walk by and say "Hey, Skinny, how's it going...you're looking GREAT!" One gal, who hadn't seen me in awhile said "OK, ya' gotta tell me how you're doing it." She's heavy herself, and was quite interested when I told her about having the surgery. Maybe one day we'll be seeing HER profile here!

I had a curious thing happen the other day. I was walking through the parking lot at work and noticed a tall black woman, VERY slender, walking towards me. I was thinking "God, she looks wonderful...so slim and pretty...I wish I looked that good." Low and behold I ran into her in a hallway later and she overheard me talking about the surgery to someone. It turned out she'd HAD THE SURGERY TOO! I was totally blown away. She said she used to weight more than 259 lbs. I asked her if she'd had any PS, and she said no, she hadn't needed to! She knows about OH, and I'll have to look and see if she has a profile page here, too. I was just SO IMPRESSED with what she's accomplished! OK, enough for now. I'll hopefully have something more to add if my appointment on the 8th of December actually happens this time! Bye! I'm off to see a YANNI concert at the Anaheim Duck Pond with my daughter!
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My! What a long time it's been since I last updated! Like most, a lot of things have happened sine then. I won't go into most of it, because it's not important to anyone here. But the TV Guide version of it is like this: Grandmother leaves phone company job of 13 years in buyout, takes job at hardware store, then -out of the blue- decides to move to Arizona! Alone. (well, I'm in the process of getting an apartment now, but it's a pretty sure thing.)

Weightwise, I'm down into the mid 170's (I'm a VERY slow loser, but I drop a few pounds every month, so I'm cool with it. My new apartment complex has a health club, so that will help.) I wear a size 14, and I'm lovin' life! Last June I got my family annual passes to Disneyland, and I've already been there something like 8-9 times! I'm going to go again before I move, 'cause it probably will be awhile until next time. I walk all day, and hardly get tired. At my job I'm also on my feet 8 hours a day. This is something I could NEVER have managed before this surgery. I still want to lose at least another 30 pounds, maybe more if I can manage it. Ideally, I want to get down to the 120's. We'll see what happens when I'm finally living on my own and my Son in Law isn't fixing his scrumptious gourmet meals every night *sigh* - I'll miss 'em, too!

I've just been checking, and I've discovered they don't have Kaiser in Arizona, so I don't know who my new medical insurance provider is going to be. Guess I'll find out soon enough! I go to Pacific Bariatric for a post-op follow-up on Thursday. I was supposed to go in December, but my new insurance hadn't kicked in yet. I've been so busy getting ready to move, that I haven't really had the time, plus I've been working Graveyard the last few weeks, and I'm usually asleep all day (when I'm lucky...the joy of living across the street from a middle school!). When I last went to see him, he had said he wanted to see me lose another 30 pounds...which I'm pleased to say I've done! Watch him say, OK, let's go for ANOTHER 30 pounds! I'm already planning to do that, 'cause I still haven't made the Century Club, and that's my primary goal at this point. When THAT happens, I'll post another picture. Until then, you'll just have to guess at what I look like now ( ;-> ).

Once I get settled into my new place in Arizona, I'll have to see if there's a support group anywhere around. I haven't been to one in a long time, and I've missed it. They say the best way to assure long term successful weight loss, is to be in a support group. Once I (eventually) reach my Goal Weight, I want to make sure it stays put! But I'll say this much. Right now, every time I see even a one pound gain, I go into panic mode, even though it's usually gone again a day or so later. There's very little I can't eat (which sucks, 'cause I was hoping I'd dump on everything I'm not supposed to have, and I can count on the fingers of one hand the things I dump on anymore.) It's back to willpower (or should I say "won't-power"), which I sorta knew was going to be the case all along. I was looking for a magic key, I suppose. Aren't we all...even when we SAY we're not?

I'm socially more active now. I even went to Niagra Falls, Canada not too long ago, and I'll be going again this July. Admittedly, they're business trips for the the Internet business I have, but -Hey! I'm there with hundreds of other people, and wearing nice looking business attire I could only dream about in the past. It may not be the size 8 my daughter wears, but I'm still lookin' good! I've had my hair styled and colored, I'm wearing designer glasses that don't take up half my face. I'm wearing terrific makeup (products of my business - I'm a walking commercial!) and I can wear more stylish shoes now, though my feet are still a bit wide, they're no longer Double D's! I can even wear bracelets and necklaces again -without cutting off my circulation, even! Like I said before, I'm so grateful for the results of this surgery, I'd do it again in a heartbeat! I plan on being in the Century Club before my 2 year anniversary in June. That would put me in the 140's, and only 20+ pounds away from my Goal Weight. Who knows, maybe I'll just shoot for reaching my Goal Weight by June. That would be a nice Birthday/Anniversary present, wouldn't it?
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