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Erin E.
Jacksonville, FL, USA
Post Op - BMI: 26.6
Surgery Type: RNY
Member ID: E1073012475
Surgeon: Peter Sarantos, M.D.

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Hello everyone, I am 34 soon to be 35 in March and hoping to have surgery done. I have a strong family history of obesity, my father passed away due to stroke and diabetes complications.I also have 8 other brothers and sisters that are all very obese. I have a great husband and 4 kids 10 year old twins, 9 year old and a 4 year old. They are all very special to me and my life would be nothing without them. They are my hope and my inspiration. They make me laugh when I am sad and they give me strengh to keep going when I think that I can no longer keep the pace. I love them! Thank you God for my family. They truly are a blessing in my Life!!!


2004



02/04/04
So the journey begins.....
Well let me tell you where I am at on the road to the loosing side. I like that saying. After many phone calls, calls to the insurance company and calls just all over town. I found the doctor that seems to be the right choice for me. Dr Sarantos in Gainesville. I have already gone to my PCP for a refferral and she was more then happy to help me out. I have been going to her for 4 years, on several diets to try to loose weight. Sigh.... No luck. She told me that WLS was a good choice for me due to my background Hx. She scheduled me for a sleep study, which by the way is tommrow night. Yuk. I have to stay the night over there. Like I am really going to sleep in a strange bed with a whole bunch of wires hooked up to my body including my head. I am not looking foward to that at all. I have although, just finished my psych eval today, which went swell. I was told that I was depressed. Really!!! Like I didn't know that.

02/14/04
Happy Valentines Day to you all!
It has been a rainy day all day however I did enjoy it with my family. My husband took me to a movie yesterday we went to see 50 dates with Adam Sandler it was great. Well I had my sleep study done, it went ok I guess. Actually I have never felt so uncomfortable before. Electrodes all over my body they even put something in my nose and something over my mouth so they could see if I breath through my nose or mouth. So needless to say I did not sleep that good. But it is all done with now. Thank God. I have a appt with my PCP to type my med ness. ltr and then we are going to send all the stuff to Gainesville office so they can schedule me for an initial appt. I am worried I will not get approved. I still am hoping for the best. I am tired of feeling like a sausage. My mother does not know that I am having this surgery done, she will not approve of it. I feel like everytime I tell someone they just shoot my hopes down. So I do not tell anyone anymore. They all however are small and have no idea what it is like to be overweight, being overweight to them is needing to loose 10lbs. I wish! I am not extremely overweight, I guess on the WLS side I am considered a lightweight...that is the first! I still have tried everything, like everyone else and can not keep the weight off. I have a bad hip that hurts so bad sometimes I can not even walk if I have been sitting for a long time. I gets embarresing. I would love to just have my husband be with me for surgery and not tell anyone, then afterwards 6mths later let them see the new me! Even then I would probably not tell them, yet I am a talker so it is hard for me not to say anything. I am so skeptical about the surg working. I know that I see the before and after pics, however because of my many, many times of trying and not succeeding its hard for me to believe that it will work for me. I hope so. My birthday is March 12th and I would love to have a surg date scheduled for a gift for me. Well anyone that has any advise for me I have an open door policy...anything will be helpful. Take care

02/15/04
Dear God,
I am so thankful for my blessings that you give me. My wonderful husband, four healthy kids and a beautiful home. I have a small problem God. I am so tired of being overweight. Please let everything work out with my insurance. Let them approve me. I am so depressed about my weight. I want to feel worthy, instead of worthless. I want my husband to attack me when he sees me. I want to be an example for my kids. I want to be able to go shopping for clothes and actually enjoy myself, instead I always end up crying because of my size. I would like to be able one day to enjoy looking in the mirror and actually feel sexy. Dear God please hear my prayer.
Love Always,
Erin

02/16/04
Hello everyone. Just got done watching My Big Fat Obnouxis Finace on tv. Its funny. Today was a better day for me went through the normal routine with the kids, dinner, husband, cleaning, work, baths, etc...You would think after doing that for awhile I would be at a healthy weight. Wrong guess for me. My husband is so special, he supports me no matter what desicion I want to make. He justs wants me to be happy. I love him. Well I did call the surgeons office to ask if there is anything that I needed extra to do to help get approved. Left message on a machine. Hopefully they will call back tommorw. I only have one more week untill I see my pcp and then all the paperwork gets sent to Gainesville. What a long week this will be. Sigh....Sigh....sigh....tic tic tic tic....Well didn't God say patience is a virture(spelling bad). I always teach my kids that so I guess I have to be patient myself. Anyway you all take care I will post more later...God Bless

02/18/04
Hello everyone. I have had a rough couple days. You see I am scared that I will not get approved my BMI is not quite 40 so I was told to gain weight, however it's not as easy as it sounds. The gaining weight is easy, but psychologicaly it is depressing to go up instead of down. I only have 10 to 15 lbs to gain, but thats is quite a bit if you think about it. I feel terrible health wise. It's weird because I have always dieted now I have to gain! Thought that it would be fun, but its depressing. Get that. At least when you are loosing weight you feel better about yourself. My husband is great, he told me that I have not come this far to give up, and that all I have to do is eat. If the insurance co wants me so big then I will play their game. So I will keep eating and hopes that I gain 15 lbs more. I still hope the ins does not deny me. That would be terrible. Well American Idol comes on tonight, and I think I will order Pizza and vegg out on the couch. Take care and God Bless.

02/20/04
Well good morning to all. Today is a good day so far. We got our income tax check in the mail today!! Yeah. Now I have the money that my ins will not pay, that is if they approve me. Also got enough to catch on other misc bills. Today is also friday, which is another reason to celebrate. I am trying to stay on the positive side of things. Well hope you all have a good day today. God Bless

02/24/04
Well today is my visit with my pcp. I get to find out how my test results for my sleep study and see what my psych eval had to say. I hope it is all good. I am also going to see how much I weigh. I stepped on the scale at Publix and it read 227 lbs. I was glad to see that I am almost to my weight I should be to get approved. It has been hard for me to gain weight knowing what I am doing to my self. I know that it is all for a good reason. (Need to in order for ins to approve me) I am just playing the game sort of speak. Just hope I get approved. I am tired of people at work looking at me like I am crazy and that I am stupid for wanting to get so drastic to loose weight. I want to show them! I know that I can loose weight dieting however the minute I stop it all comes back plus....I am so tired of that. Everyone tells me that it has to be a life change. I understand that however it is very hard when I have a family of 6 that I have to feed. And of course they are all skinny. People can not talk unless they have been there in your shoes. Anyway I am babaling. I will update you all when I get back from my doctors appt. Wish me luck.

Well I just got back from my appt with my pcp. It went great and weighted in a 228 lbs. I was told that she thinks I will not have a problem at all with getting approved. Stated that I have been seeing her for awhile all related to weight. Sleep study stated that I have nightmares in my sleep probably due to depression and obesity. Get that, I didn't know that they could diagnos depression threw a sleep study, pretty neat. I do not have sleep apnea which is good news. Also my pcp does not have a copy of my psych eval that was done Feb 4th. Called psych office and they stated that one was never typed up! They will flag the chart and see if they can rush it. Frustrating. My pcp however did state that she will be finished with her medical necessity report by the end of this week! After that all is sent to Gainesville and hopefully I can get a consult with the surgeon scheduled. I can't waite! I am so exicted. It is all starting to become real. Well gotta go cook dinner, my kids are getting hungry. God Bless everyone..

02/25/04
Man, It's the waiting that drives you crazy. TIC TIC TIC TIC TIC.....I am getting tired of hoping. I would like it to be more final. My husband and friends have been very patient with me, however I'm sure they get tired of me talking about it. They all have been very supportive. I am very thankful for the people in my life. I have not yet told my sisters because they will blab to my mother. I know for a fact that my mother will be totally agianst it, mostly because she is a worry wart and old fashioned. If I knew she would understand just a fraction then I would not hesitate to tell her. I havn't talked to my mother since beginning of January. I miss her it's hard because she is in Michigan and I am here down south in Florida. She doesn't like to travel much, and for me it is too expensive to fly and to long of a drive with 4 kids and a hubby, not to mention our dog Lucky. Well its bed time for me, chat with ya all later. God Bless and sweet dreams.

02/27/04
It is friday. TGIF and I called my psych office to make sure that they have the eval done. They told me that it was dictated and sent to be typed. It should be done by Tuesday of next week. So I was happy with that. I am frustrated today for a couple of reasons. It is sad to see that BCBS of Florida will not be covering WLS anymore as of next year (2005). They mentioned that they were afriad that the number of people wanting to have the surgery would more then double, and they do not want to put out the money. It is a shame that they don't see the long term effect. Healthier people, means less doctor appt and meds to be on. The insurance is just looking for a quick fix. They say they feel like the surg is to risky. (Isn't any other surg a risk?) The real truth is that they dont think that it is medically nessary, it was so obvious if you read the article. I get so tired of hearing that. I can bet any money that the people at bcbs making the decision were all within a healthy weight. The other reason for my frustration is that someone I know was telling me, if I only did this and do that etc.. then I would loose the weight, and that people that are overweight don't have any self control and are lazy. WHATEVER. All I do all day is run around doing other stuff for my childern and my husband. Dance, baseball, football, grocery store, work, clean, cook, yard work etc... What makes it worse is that the person telling me this has never had a problem with being overweight, so how do they know what is right if they are not going through the same thing? Basicly it was a big insult, and I was offended. I have tried and tried and tried and because I can not get the weight off, it makes me feel like a failure. I didn't really need to hear their comments. Why can some people be so cruel? Just plan evil. It would be nice if I could loose the weight and not be overweight, but that is why I am electing to have surgery. I need the help. Do they think that I choose to be this way? Why can't anyone just truly understand how I feel. How we feel. God Bless....



03/1/04
Hello all, today has been a slow day. Thought that I would never get through it. I am tired of being large. Called my pcp to see if she has the letter done. Nope, stated would flag my chart and give it to the doctor. Sigh....I wasn't suprised however I know how busy doctors can get. Same thing happened to my psych eval. This reminds me I have another visit with her tommorw. Don't know what were going to talk about, same stuff I guess. I am so ready to get rolling with this. On a good note, I did find someone who is going through the same thing I am going through, very happy to have a friend who truly understands how I feel. I am excited about that. Well gotta get to bed have busy day tommorw. Happy March everyone. It's my favorite month because my bday is on the 12th! I would love to have a consult date set by then. That is my goal. Good luck you all of you on this journey, and congradulations to thoose who have made it to the loosing side. Take care sweet dreams.

03/04/04
Happy Birthday to my mom. I Love You! Everyone today is my mother's birthday. I overnighted her a card yesterday so I hope she got it today. She hasn't called me since beginning of January and when I try to call her she seems to never have her phone on. She stated before she does not check her messages for she does not know how. So leaving a message is useless but I do anyway. I miss her, she lives in Michigan and I live across the country in Florida. I truly do not know how it happened that way, but it did. I hate long distance relationships. I envoy my friends that get to see their mother often and have tea or coffee together. Wish I could just give her a hug today and tell her I love her. It is just too hard to visit her with 6 people in my family. I don't want to leave anyone out.

As far as my journey goes with surgery, I have mailed my medical history(the 10 page report they request on you with copy of ins card)to the surgeon Dr Sarantos in Gainesville. I am still patiently waiting on my psych md to finish her eval and on my pcp to finish also and fax them. I am so ready to start loosing weight. I feel miserable, and feel very depressed. How could I have let myself get how I am now?

Dear God
Wrap your loving arms around me and my family and all my friends. Help me to keep the faith through this journey, to keep fighting and to stay strong. I only pray that your will be done. Be with my mother and cradle her in your hands. Please let her know that she is loved. Thanks for all the blessings you have bestowed upon me. Thank you for my home and my job. Thank you for my husband who wakes up for work everyday to take care of me and the kids. Your love calms my soul Lord, and I am greatful. Amen

03/07/04
I'm still just hanging around waiting. I called my pcp office and they stated that my letter is still not completed yet. So I will call agian on Monday. I also called my psych office and front desk person told me he would check and give me a call back later. Never rec'd a call back. So I will also be calling them on Monday. I am going to call them everyday until they get done what I need. Both offices had more then enough time. So the waiting continues...good things come to those who waite. My hopes are high...still going to try to have the consultation scheduled and in the books before 3-12-04.

03/09/04
Wow, what a day I have had! First of all to update my status. After calling 03/08 and 03/09. I got both offices to finish my letters. They should be in the mail as I type. YEAH...Hopefully soon I can get a consult eval! Man, what a struggle that was. I'm sure the worst is not over yet. Yet I am ready for the fight!!!!!I got a job interview to go to tommorw! Was not even looking for a job. It is hard to explain in words, however all I can say is that God works in wonderous ways! He is so awsome! It truly was God helping me out. Wow i am speechless. Thanks Your love is overwhelming! I love you Lord. Sometimes there are so many things we want, that we seldom take the time to see what he has truly blessed us with. It is always easier to look at the negative then the positive. I am going to try to stay positive on this journey and not let the devil put doubt in my heart!

03/12/04
Happy Birthday to me! This day has been great. My husband earned kudos getting me a huge basket of Bath and Body Works! I loved it, was totally surprised! He truly is a great husband. There is only one things that gets me down today, and it is that I have not heard from my mom. Yep since January! She has not called to wish me a Happy Birthday and deep down it really hurts. She has not even called to say thanks for the card and $ I sent to her for her bday. I wrote a leter to let her know my feelings. I am not going to try anymore, when she is ready to talk she knows my number. I have a family and I have to keep trucking for them.

Ok here is where I am on my journey to WLS. The receptionist at gainesville told me that they did not receive fax so office refaxed the paper work. Well per Shirley, stated only got notes, did not get my lab, med ness. ltr or psych eval.!!!!So I am going there on Monday to get a frickin copy for myself. Man I want to scream, but I guess the good side is at least they are sending something right? So sad to say I did not get the consult scheduled yet. I am going to keep pushing foward. Keep me in your prayers! Im hoping that on my next birthday I will be well on the loosing side.

03/15/04
Well just an update, I went to my pcp today and picked up a copy of all my records. Faxed them all myself 18 pgs. FINALY! I found out that the pcp office had the fax number off by one digit. Usually you would confirm the fax went through ok with a confirmation page that prints out afterwards. They did not have one. HUMMM wonder why..I called the office and confirmed that they did receive it(the one I faxed of course). YEAH..also called psych office stated did not send it because they needed the Dr's name??? Well the name was written on the auth to release records. Man I tell you, If you want something done right you have to do it yourself.... I hopefully will get a call to see the surgeon soon. I think I have to go to my ob/gyn doctor to get more copies of my records with my weight on it. I also tried a weight loss program with them. My current pcp has only been seeing me since beginning of 2002. I have to say I am scared. I have a bmi of 39 and scared that the insurance will not approve me. I am so close, hopefully will gain some weight before the consultation. Really scared to get my hopes shot down. That seems to happen to me quite often. Feel like I have been treading in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights like the Iseralites in the Bible. I want this soooo bad. I am sure everyone knows how I feel. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts. Well please all say a prayer. I truly need God's helping hand through this journey. I hope it is God's will. Sigh...feeling kind of down today. Glad that everything is sent over but scared of the outcome. I get tired in life of being let down. Well to all who is on this journey with me good luck! I will say a prayer for all my buddies in this journey who is in the process and who is on the loosing side to changing their lives for the better.


03/16/04
Wow! Rene you did an awsome job on my profile! Love the bears, it put a smile on my face. Thank you so much. Your time and efforts are appreciated.

Well, psych office still did not fax the psych eval....called the office and Bill mentioned that he did not have time to fax it yet. Come on people....its been over 8 weeks! I offered to pick it up myself but they will not give me a copy. Office policy is not to give copies of records to their patients. Ok so they will send it to my pcp, and then I will get the copy from them. It is just plan dumb. I am going over their tommorw morning to insist that they fax the thing. Won't leave till it is done!
Ok I feel better now, but I truly want to get on with the next stage of this journey. I'm sure others are in my shoes too. That is why I love this site, I know I am not alone. Thanks everyone. Today I laid sod in my yard. Their were dead spots that did not grow back from the winter. Spring fever is in the air. Love spring, the trees blooming, grass greening, warm weather etc...I miss my mom. Wish she would call, hoping that she is ok. Hugs and kisses mom. Well its late and I gotta get to bed. bye all.

03/17/04
Yeah, just an update. Surgeon office finally has all the required info requested. Whew...Shirley from gainesville stated will verify benefits with my insurance and call me back to schedule an appt. Hip Hip Hooray! Hip Hip Hooray! Hip Hip Hooray! One hill covered on to the next.

03/19/04

I love fridays, its a great feeling knowing that I don't have to go to work the next two days. Oh update! I got a date for my consultation!!!!!YEAH!!!!It will be on March 30TH. This month yeah..I am a happy camper. Little nervous but none the less very happy. It is nice to see that it is moving along a little. On to the next battle in the journey. Only have 11 days and counting. One of my fellow post op friends that had this done 4 yrs ago will be going with me. She offered. I thought it was nice considering that it is almost a two hour drive to get to gainesville. Well gotta get ready for work. God Bless...

03/22/04
Good morning. I am so excited. I have eight more days till I visit with Dr Sarantos. I found someone here in Jacksonville that had him as a surgeon. Stated that he was a wonderful surgeon. Can't wait. Yesterday went to get an outfit for work. I am wearing a size 22! Never been that big before. I am hoping to be at 235 lbs before my appt date. I just pray that my insurance approves me. Just thinking about me being a healthy normal weight seems so unreal. It would be great. Can't wait! It's the waiting that is killing me.

I still have not heard from my mother. I do not know what's up with her. I am hurt and angry on how she has turned us kids away. She can at least call. I feel like I do not have a mom anymore. Sigh Took my kids to Chucky Cheese to play and there was a grandmother crying because she had to go back to Kansas. She was visiting her son here in Florida. You can tell that she has a passion for her family. That's normal right? Whats up with my mom? Why can't she be normal. Any mom would want to be with there kids and grandkids, or at least call to see whats up? Not mine. I am really feeling pissed off about it. I am tired of trying, yet I don't want to give up on her. I am tired of feeling sad about not having a mother daughter relationship. I think emotionaly this has a big influence with me being overweight. I cope with food. It gives me some kind of comfort. It really stinks that I can not talk to my mom and tell her what I am feeling, or at least get her feelings on this. No matter how I feel, I still miss her and wish she would call or write or answer when I call. I am her own daughter and did not even get a Happy Birthday from her! Anyway I will keep going trying to get to the loosing side! God Bless all!

03/23/04
Still waiting patiently, but can't help feeling like a depressed fatty who does not want to leave the house. My Wellbutrin does not seem to be working today. Sigh....

03/25/04

Good Morning all. It is friday! Yeah. I have three more days till my consultation. I can't wait. I am so anxious to get things moving agian. Because of being excited I lost 3lbs! Going to have to stuff my face this weekend. I am also going to wear heavy clothes. I havn't come this far to have the ins co deny me because of my bmi being only 39. I have been reading some helpful hints in the Q&A section on what I should do, or if I have a chance. I think the best thing to do is to pray. I am a strong believer that what is meant to be will be. Sometimes God's will is not what we want. I know that he wants me to be healthy. I just pray that my paperwork goes into the hands of someone that is caring and considerate. If I do get denied for some reason or the other I will try to get them the needed info and appeal. Etc... I just hate it however when your fate is in the hands of others decisions on what they think. Oh God please let everything be ok. I am going to Gainesville with one of my friend that had surgery done 4 yrs ago. She looks wonderful! She offered to go with me and I am greatful. She had her surg done with Dr Thornburn, same practice where I will be getting mine done. God is great. The weather is awsome and I can't wait till Tuesday March 30th. Take care all God Bless

03/29/04
Well tommorw is the big day! I will be leaving the house a 6:15am to take the long drive to Gainesville. Thank God I have a friend who will be going with me, who has been through this before. She has had surgery 4 yrs ago. I hope everything goes well for me. I truly have tried every diet plan I came across to try to loose my weight and I can't seem to get anywhere. I am going in the wrong direction. This surgery is my last resort. I am tired of taking diet pills that do not seem to do any good for me. I am tired of feeling like a failure. So wish me luck ya all! Take care

03/30/04
Wow! I love Dr Sarantos. What a nice guy. He took the time to tell me everything I needed to know and then some. I asked all the questions needed and everything went real well. I am glad the visit is over with. Whew. I made it Dr Sarantos mentioned that I am a good canidate and because I am small "whatever" I should have less complications if all goes well. I spoke to the dietician and she really did not tell me much that I did not know already, then spoke to Shirley, finally got to meet her, and she filled us in that people that have bc/bs of florida will be pushed up due to the insurance no longer doing coverage in 2005. Yeah! I am hoping for surgery in May, It would be nice to be on the loosing side for the summer. It still is all hard to believe that I could possibly loose weight and keep it off for good! I am still a skeptical. Well now it's a waiting game to see if I get approved or not. Keep your fingers crossed. Well I am tired, has been a long day. God Speed

03/31/04

Well I finally heard from my mother today. She left a message and the first thing she mentioned was to not get the stomach stappling surgery done. She stated that I was a stronger then that. Also mentioned not to let my stubborness get in the way. What does that mean? Then she thanked me for the Birthday card and hung up. I was glad she called while I was at work. Figured that my sisters told her everything, even the part where I had to gain a couple of pounds to qualify. I guess the trust issue is wearing thin with them. Well at least I don't have to tell her anymore. Thanks Kerstin and Kelly(sisters), I owe you one! (Not) I am still excited for the surgery to come if God willing. He only understands my true feelings. With or without my family supporting me, I still have great friends. Thanks all!




04/01/04
Today is April Fools day. I got a call from my mother telling me that my problems are deeper then weightloss. She also went on to say that even if I loose the weight I will still have problems. HELLO I THINK I KNOW THAT!! I am 35 yrs old and realize that life is full of road blocks. Being overweight is just one of many, however I feel that I need to get my self esteem up and feel better about myself. Tons of my problems will be solved when I have a better self esteem. No it will not get rid of money problems, sick kids or stress with family. LOL Needless to say I got angry with her and had to go because my younger son's bus was going to show up any minute. (Bus broke down that day!) Bus never came so I drove him to school and that made my other three kids late for their school and put me late for work. Whew...what a day. Deep down I knew that my mom would not agree, but I still hoped for just a little support. All I can say is thank goodness for my friends. I just do not understand some of the things my mother tells me sometimes. I feel like she is not being rational and how can you try to rationalize with someone who does not appear to be rational??

Anyway, I am still waiting for Shirley in Gainesville to give me a call to tell me that I am approved. I want to give them at least a week to get the ball rolling agian. I am praying that the approval process will not take very long. I hope that they lean in my favor. I don't really want to fight with them with an approval. So while I am waiting I went to Home Depot and bought some flowers and planted them in my yard. We purchased a formerly model home, so the landscaping is beautiful, however the downfall is that it is very hard to up keep it. Lots of work so I take a section at a time. I love working in the yard. I am a outdoors person. Well gotta get to bed tommorw will be here before I know it.

Oh by the way, just wanted to say thanks for all the support that I rec'd on the Q&A site. I got many good suggestions and believe me I am going to try as many as possible. Part of me just wants to keep going and not to bother talking to any of my family anymore. Not one of them called to ask how the consultation went. So if they do not care why should I? I love them but I am tired of always trying to make them happy. Thanks agian to all who posted suggestions. It made me feel special and that people on this web site truly do care. God Speed

04/05/04
Wow can you believe that Easter is next week! Wow I havn't even started thinking about easter baskets. I have been so wrapped up in wls info. LOL Man, I can not wait to hear from Shirley, stating that I have been approved. I called on friday to see what the status was and she mentioned that the letter was in dictation. I do not know how long it will take for that to be done. Hoping that it will not take as long as my pcp and Psych md's took. I am also hoping that my insurance will not take very long. Pre cert lady told me all they need to know is if I am MO. So looks pretty promising. This put me at ease somewhat, however I will be nice to see the auth # for approval! Pray, Pray, Pray is all I can do now.

I was wanting so bad to call my sister today to tell her my status, however deep down I just want to keep it to myself. If she cared she would have called me to see how my consult went, but no call was rec'd. She knew about it the day before. I know that she is extremely busy and working a ton of hrs so she does have some excuse. Maybe. But it has been over a week. I want to tell everyone. I am a talker and it drives me crazy to hold stuff in but I know that I am doing it for my own good. I am doing the same at work, if they ask then I will tell. If they don't ask then I assume that they don't really care so I will bite my tongue and keep it to myself. ARRRR I really feel like calling someone but I think I am driving my friend crazy with this wls stuff. She does ask me often how things are going. I makes me feel good that she cares. She also mentioned that she would stay with me for awhile at the hosp, even though she has two little ones at home. I know it will be difficult for her. I would be nice if my sister could come and stay with me to help out. Anything would be nice. Having four kids can make a hospital stay a little challenging.

Well here I sit trying to wait patiently, guess I will read more profiles to help pass time and to learn as much as possible. Take Care All

04/06/04
HELLOOOOOO IM APPROVED, IM APPROVED IM APPROVED, DID YA ALL HERE, IM APPROVED....WOW I AM SOOOO EXCITED!!!!IM APPROVED...IM APPROVED. THANK YOU JESUS!!! I'm so happy. I called the office today to speak with Shirley to see if Dr Sarantos has finished dictating the letter. Well Shirley asked me if I had ESP she told me that she just found out today that I am approved. YES I AM APPROVED, I almost feel over backwards. Started crying and shouting I could not control myself. She has the authorization number on hand. YEAH..Wow I can't tell you how much this means. I am so thrilled. All that worrying for nothing. I feel like Im dreaming. God is awsome. It truly took only one day. She faxed the letter to the insurance co and the ins co faxed back the approval number! That was it. She told me they didn't even ask for a past medical hx. WOW!!! It truly is a answer to prayer. I LOVE AMERICA!!!! YIPEE, YIPEE, YIPEE. It is so good to feel happy for a change. I will update more later gotta tell my friends.

04/10/04

Well tommorw is Easter, I did all the Easter stuff with the kids. We colored eggs today and watched a movie. We went to see Hellboy. It was ok. The kids enjoyed it. A little far fetched for me.

So where am I on my journey? Well lets see, I told my job that I was planning on getting wls done and that I got approved and tentivly have a date for May 17th. It was penciled in the books. Not a definate but will be once the office calls me back with all the pre op appt that need to be done. Well my job mentioned that they could not be without me for 6 to 8 weeks and that they might consider looking for another person to cover me. I told them that I was only planning on being out for a couple of weeks, and maybe the most three. I only work part time working the front desk. Not stressfull at all. My mgr is worried that if I came back and got hurt more then she would feel bad. She went I to say that it is a major surgery and recovery is at least 6 wks. Yet she has never known anyone that has had the surgery done. I have read tons of profiles and know that some and most are back to work within 3 weeks. I was told that she had to talk to the other girls that worked their to see what they wanted to do. I tell you what, I feel like they don't want me there. I am told several times that I am a wonderful person to work with, great personality and hard worker. I know that probably is not the truth, just can't help to think that way. I have only been working their since middle of November and it is only 20 hrs a week. I liked the hours, I was home before the kids even knew that I was gone. I enjoy working their, but if they need someone I will try to understand. There are many other jobs out their for the taking. It was a big blow when I heard this. My mgr stated she was shocked! Hummm that makes me think. Also my husband told me that my mother called and spoke with him to try to get him to have me change my mind. It angers me however I know that she is just scared and does not want anything to happen to her daughter. What really makes me angry is her thinking that this is taking the easy way out. I don't think so. Anywhoo I am still pressing foward to get things accomplished. Today I bought the book Gut Feelings by Carnie Wilson, and yesterday I ordered another book through Amazon.com. I am going to read, read and read so I am prepared.

Emotionly,I am a little nervous, however I am soo tired of being overweight and the heavier I get the more I feel like I am pulling my spirit down with me in a sinking hole. I can't wait to feel alive and healthy.

04/11/04

Happy Easter everyone! I had a great holiday. The kids were up in the crack of dawn to get into their Easter baskets, and by 7:30 am they were outside hunting for the eggs that my husband and I hid the night before. They truly had a blast. Then my oldest son went with his father (ex-husband), while me and the girls went to see The Prince and Me at the movies. I love the fairy tale movies. Sigh.... My husband was home playing X-Box with our youngest. Nathan is a X-Box junkie. Afterwards I took the kids to the neighborhood pool for a swim. At night I tried to call my mother and left her a message to tell her Happy Easter. I did call and talk to my sister to tell her Happy Easter, told her my status. It was good to hear from her even if I am the only one calling her. I was kind of glad that my mother didn't answer cause I just didn't want to hear it tonight. I made up my mind and I am have the surgery with or without her. Period, end of story. Wish it were that simple.

Tommorw I am planning on calling the office to see if May 17th is a go. I have been reading the new book by Carnie Wilson. I am soo glad that I am approved. God has been good to me. He knows deep down how I feel, and that I truly am not happy with myself in every direction. Thinking about it puts a tear to my eye. I love my husband. Today I mentioned that I was tired of being fat and that I could not waite till my surgery,so he put his hand on my leg and softly mentioned that he understood. His caring voice made me feel that he is totally supportive and that he wants me to be happy. I love him. Good luck to all having surgery tommorw. Your in my prayers.

04/12/04

Today has been a tough day. My job told me that they can not hold my position for over 6-8 wks and she does not feel comfortable with me trying to come in any eariler. She is afraid that I will over extend myself to try to come back to work. Whatever. I have just read tons of profiles where they have returned to work after two or three weeks. I do not think that I will be out 6-8 weeks but I can not change my mgr's mind up. A letter from the doctor will not even do cause I can't guarantee that there will be no complications. Sigh I love the people I work with and I feel really let down that they will not try to cover for me while I am gone. I only work part time so FMLA will not help me. The bad thing is that if I were having anything else done besides wls then I honestly don't think that there would be an issue.

I also talked to my mother today and we ended up arguing on the phone regarding wls. I knew that it would happen we are both strong willed. I just feel tired of feeling like I have to defend myself or give good reasons to people on why I want to have surgery. Sometimes I can kick myself for having such a big mouth. I should have told no one. A lesson well learned.

My husband has been great. He helped with tons of laundry, while I slept. I hate laundry. It gets sooooooo old. Never goes away. Sometimes I just get run down with the everyday routine. Thank God for my husbands love he gives me.

Take care all

04/16/04
A ton has changed since I have last updated. I rec'd a call from Dr Sarantos offices to schedule my surgery, or should I say put the date down in ink. It was down for May 17th however I asked it to be moved up a week. My daughter's recital is on the 24th and I did not want to miss it. Well she told me that they did not have one a week eariler yet they did have one two weeks eariler! My new date is set for May 3rd. Its official. Yeah in just a little over two weeks I will be on the loosing side. On April 22nd I have to go for my pre op testing. Chest xray, EKG, Pulmonary function test, ateriol gas, and upper GI. I think I got them all. Then on April 27th I will go back and see Dr Sarantos one more time before the surgery the following week. I am excited and yet a little nervous. I just got two books that I ordered online "The thin person within" by Barbara Thompson. I love it. Tons of informative stuff. Also got another helpful book with before and after stories. Hopefully soon mine will be along side with them.

My husband's grandfather passed on April 13th. He lived a long happy life, yet very sad to see him go. He will be missed greatly by all of us. My hubby is now in TN with his family for the funeral. I stayed behind with the kids. He has only been gone 2 days and I feel lost without him.

My son helped the handicapped kids play ball today. I felt real proud of him. He is growing up to be quite a young man. My how time flys by. God has really blessed me with a great family and I am very thankful. Sometimes it is easy to forget the simple things in life.

Well May 3rd, here I come!!!!!! God Speed all.

04/18/04
well it is 6am in the morning and I can't sleep. I miss my husband. He comes home today. YEAH I just can't wait till my surg. I am praying that everything goes smoothly with no problems. Loosing weight and keeping it off seems so unreal. I just hope that I don't fail with the surgery.

Here are some things I am hoping to do after surgery

Swim with my kids at the pool without getting embarrased.
Get dressed without struggling
Being able to cross my legs
Being able to love to shop and crying cause I am happy not sad
Feeling sexy again
Having my husband sweep me off my feet
More confidence in myself
Feel like a winner and not a looser in life
Painting my toes
Putting shoes on without having to put my foot up on something to tie them
Planting flowers outside without getting a backache
Giving all my plus size clothes to Goodwill!
Wear shorts and like my legs
Wear sandals without my feet killing me
Wearing figure fitting clothes
Fit into the car without feeling like a sausage
Have people complment me on how I look, not how pretty my face is
Horseback riding

04/20/04
Wow, yesterday my twins turned 11yrs old. My how time flies. I love them so much! They have really blessed my life in so many ways. Thanks Adam and Julia, and Happy Birthday.

Well in a couple of days it is off to Gainesville agian to get my pre op testing done. I rec'd all the orders via fax. I wish I had a friend to go with me but they all have little kids or have a job they have to tend to. The most important thing is that my husband will be with me when I have surgery. He is taking a week off. I have so many feelings going throught me know. Excited, scared, nervous, anxious, sad etc... the list goes on. My friend Lisa had her Lap RNY done today. I am happy for her. Still waiting on how she is doing. Hope all is well with her. Said a prayer for her today. Soon in 13 more days it will be my turn. I hope all goes smoothly for me. Please keep me in your prayers I can use all the support I can get. I am so tired of being unhealthy, tired and just plan fat.
Take care all
Erin

04/22/04

My pre ops tests are completed. One more step closer to the day till I am on the loosing side. The tests were not that bad and the day went by quite quickly. I thought that I would be waiting much longer for some tests. Next step is seeing the surgeon on May 27th to find out if I passed all my tests.

I find myself getting scared quite oftem so I have to keep reminding myself to look on the positive side. A happy, heathier life with my kids. More energy to do what I want, and confidience that I once had hopefully will slowly come back.
All I ask for is prayer to get me through this milestone in my life.

04/27/04

Well one more stone crossed, almost to the loosing side! I am so excited, and little nervous. Was told that is completely normal. I can not wait till I am a looser. I had my last visit with Dr Sarantos and he was so nice. Told him I was looking foward to being a looser. He laughed. Very nice man. I totally feel safe with him doing my surgery. His PA was also nice. She was a little hyper, and fast paced. Felt as if she was late for something. Asked If I had any questions, yet she rushed so quickly that she read some of my past history incorrect. I met a couple that has had the surgery done in September and they seem soo happy. They just love the new them. Very nice couple. The gentleman told me that he is simply still amazed at how litte he eats and how full he feels after eating such a small amount. I was so happy to get some good news. I also told my brother that I was having surgery done. He was kind of upset that I was not going to tell him, but he is one I can trust and he is also the one who called me to see how things were going. It makes me feel good that at least one of my sibilings cares enough to make a simple phone call to see how I am doing. I have decided not to tell my mother due to the extra stress that will be put on me before surgery. Will I tell her afterwards? I don't know I will have to see how things work out. I am not good at keeping secrets from my mom, yet if anything happens I do not want any "I told you so's" rubbed in my face. I am confident that all will go well. Like a friend told me "God brought me to this and God can bring me through it!" I have been struggling with trying to get babysitters for all my kids while my husband goes with me for surgery. Also trying to make sure they continue to go to school and dance and baseball games at the same time. What a chore!! Preschoolar gets out at 1:30pm older kids out at 3:00pm then dance practice and baseball games to and from have to be arranged. I know that my husband will go crazy. So ya'all keep him in your prayer also. I will be getting tons of Hot Pockets, frozen pizza's, chicken pot pies and lots of cereal to help tie them over. I have so much on my mind with what needs to be done. Wow! I am going crazy. HELP....EEK....I know that all will go well in the end. Wish us luck. God Bless

04/29/04
Wt~232
Wow, time flys. I have so much to do. So little time. I have to pack, clean my house, buy groceries, get babysitters lined up, etc...I am getting so excited! Just got a email from my friend Lisa, she had her surgery done on April 20th she stated that she is doing great! So happy for her. I also have friends that I met on this site that are going to stop by and say hi. That would be great, as I will not have any family seeing me they all live in Michigan. And the fact that I did not tell them about the surgery. My stomach is in knots just from nerves yet I know I will do fine. Thanks who have helped out by being there and supporting me. The people here on this site are great! Still keep me in your prayers as I will do the same.
God Bless







05-10-04
wt~220
WOW, I am now a looser! Whew, all the nerves are beginning to calm. It was quite painful, however nothing a few good shoots of morphine couldn't handle. I am home got home friday. Husband has been great helping. I am tired so I will try to up date with detail soon. Thanks for all your prayers! Thinks Tina for stopping by to see me!

05/15/04
Wt~215
Almost two weeks out from surgery and so far so good. Today I went to my son's baseball game for the first time since surgery. It was so good to be back in the routine of things. I am doing really good as far as food goes. I have been doing everything that the doctor orders. The only thing I can't stand is the head hunger. I want to eat a PIZZA, I want popcorn and today we had a bday party for one of my friends kids and I sooooo bad wanted a piece of cake. I was good and stayed away. I am craving food sooooo bad. My husband was eating nachos with dip and I just about went crazy. I knew I couldn't eat it but I wanted so badly to just stick my finger in the dip and like it. OR maybe just suck on the nacho. Think I crazy. I think that I was a huge junkie when it came time to food. It helps when I have a full sensation, however I know that before I ate just to pass time. Know what do I do? How can you watch a movie without popcorn? Anyway I had to vent, I am having withdrawls so bad. I know that I can get through this. It's frustrating however. On Monday I get my G-tube out and I hopefully get to move up to more solid foods. Potatoes and eggs, and cottage cheese would be real nice right now. I am getting kind of sick of cream soups or broth.

My pain is mimimal. I am taking pain meds maybe twice a day now at the most. I think sometimes I take it just to make sure I don't feel sorry later. I am going to go to the store tommorw and buy some Cherry Tylonel. All my friends have been a great help, along with my hubby. Thanks to all of them. HUGS My mom actually called to see how I was doing a couple of days ago. Shocked,I told her I was doing fine. I asked her if she wanted to know how much weight I was loosing and she told me no. If she didn't want to know why would she care then? She always has neg things it seems like to throw at me. My sister is in the hospital with her asthma acting up. She is having a very hard time breathing. I hope she will be ok. Well I gotta get to bed it's late. I just had to vent. Thanks all for listening. God Speed.


05/20/04
Wt~211 lbs
Hello all, I am so far doing good. I do have bad problems with head hunger, but it is nothing I can't handle. Since surgery I have never been hungry. In fact I am constantly feeling on the full side just to get my nutrition in everyday. It gets old. Who would of ever thought. Today I actually went to the pool and laid out to get some sun on my white legs. I tried to lay on my stomach but my incision is still a little sore. I no longer take meds for pain. YEAH I do feel nausa every now and then and that is only because I didn't take my vitamins or eat enough protien. I am still loosing weight slowly but surly. I am a quarter of the way to my goal weight of 135 lbs. I know it will be a long journey, I just have to hang in there. I went today to the consignment shop and bought me two pairs of size 18 shorts. They are a little tight, but I managed to squeeze my butt into them. lol I am hoping that after a couple more weeks they will fit comfortable. I am planning on getting all my clothes now at consignments. It's cheaper and I don't plan to wear them long.

I spoke to my sister couple of days ago. She is in the hospital due to her asthma. She mentioned that she could bearly breath. Prayers to you Kerstin. I love you. I miss my family oh so much. Hugs all..

05/27/04
Wt~208
Well all is going well, still loosing. YEAH I would like to loose a little faster but I really can't complain. My sister is still in the hospital. She has been moved to a psych ward. I feel so bad for her. She is having such a hard time. I wish I could do something to help her out.

As far as I am doing. Great, happy, and loving life. I have not had a problem at all with any kind of food so far. I love KFC's mashed potatoes. Their small serving is perfect for me. I also love Taco Bell's pinto's and cheese. If I have to be somewhere I grab a pack of cheese crackers and nibble on a couple. I feel like I eat all the time. Strange how this surgery can change things. Per doctors orders, I still can't eat meat or fruits or veggies yet. I miss a good salad. Hopefully after coupld more weeks I will be ok'd to eat meats.

I still am frustrated cause I am unable to sleep on my stomach. I love sleeping on my stomach and it getts frustrating. I'm sure it won't be much longer. The kids get out of school on friday this week. Thank God. Their school projects are kill'in me. It's tough when you got twins. Feel sorry for the lady with the septuplets Whew. Thinking about it wears me out. Oh I also signed up for classes in the fall. I want to go back and get my bachlors. Knowledge is power. As everyone says.

My prayers are with all you pre ops, and post ops I love ya guys! God Bless






06/01/04
wt~205
Happy June all. My how fast the months fly by. It is hard to believe that in a couple days I will be one month post op! I feel great. I have much more energy to do stuff. My confidence in myself is coming back slowly. My mother still disagrees with me having surgery, but now I simply do not care. I now can see the light a the end of the tunnel. What is more exciting is knowing that the weight I loose will not be coming back. Never! I can't wait till the day I can wear a size 7/8. That is my personal goal.

I am still on a restricted diet as far as food choices go. I still can not have any meat. But hopefully soon in a couple of weeks that will change. I am constantly fighting the battle of head hunger. I am dealing with that ok I guess. I have also been going through emotional trials, but I am doing ok with that to. People have not yet really noticed much of a weightloss as of yet. That does not worry me much. Everything else has been uneventful. Life is good, no complaints. Till later...

06/06/04
wt ~ 203
Can't believe it I am down 30 lbs. Yipee My head hunger is not that bad anymore. I still have days where I want to eat like a pig, but I try to remeber how good it feels to step on the scale and see a pound disapear for good. Ahhhhh how sweet it is!! Thanks God for giving me the courage and strength to get as far as I am now.

I am home with my kids and they are driving me crazy! Going to the pool and the beach gets old after awhile. I am also sooo sick of movies. All movied out. I never thought I would say this, but I miss my small part time job. It gave me time with other adults and time away from home. I got to have a reason to dress up everyday. Now I find myself wearing shorts everyday. The extra money was also nice, being able to go shopping was a real treat. I know it will come again one day where I have to dress up everyday. I also will probably be sick of dressing up. Isn't that how it always works? Never happy with what you get. I am signed up for school full time. I am planning on hitting the books full speed ahead! There's no stopping me. I want a Bachlor's degree! Whatever it takes to get there I will do. I am just thankful that I have a wonderful supportive husband. I love him so. Thanks again Lord! I want more then anything to be an example to my kids. College education is the key to success. I don't want to work for pennies and feel like I am not important. I want a career where I can save for the future, buy life insurance policy and go on vaccations to other countries. Stuff I have always wanted to do but couldn't because of lack of money.

Well enough rambling. I also want to wish all you pre-ops luck on your journey, and to the post-ops keep being loosers! Love to all...

06/09/04
wt~202
My long lost old friend I havn't seen in years, that I found on this web site (believe it or not). We went to high school together in a small private school, there were only four of us. Well she is having surgery tommorw. I'm praying and thinking about you girl! Please everyone keep her in your prayers.

06/10/04
wt~202
I am so sad. Today I found out that Momma Angel passed. She will be greatly missed. My prayers to her family and loved ones. Momma Angel, you will forever be remembered. May you rest in peace!

06/14/04
wt~200
Wow, I can hardly believe that it has been six weeks since my surgery! I am excited about my weight loss. I have reached the big 200! I am wearing a size 16. It is a nice feeling to be able to fit back into my old clothes. Also today a friend that I have not seen in a month did not even recognize me. She was shocked. That made me feel soooooooo good! It has been so long since I have felt this way. I am getting anxious to loose even more weight, but I know that in time it will come off. I can't wait till the day I can slip into a size 7/8. I also can't wait till I can wear a suite that actually makes me look good.

As far as food goes I have been moved up a seafood diet. I am so happy, I can eat shrimp now. Yummy! Red Lobster here I come! I also can eat melon's and cold cereal. Life is going grand. I still have not been sick at all from eating different foods. I still think that mashed potatoes are my best. They go down so easy and taste so good. I have to stop that it is making me hungry. Anyway my prayers are for all the pre-op people starting their journey, and for all the post-op loosers. Keep loosing! Thank you God for giving me this second chance at a healthy life. I am so thankful. God has blessed me in so many ways, and he continues to do so! Hugs to all...

06/15/04
wt~199
YIPEE!!!!!I am now in the one hundreds!!!! My scale weighed me in at 199. Even though it feels like the weight is not comming off fast enough, I am so happy to be in the one hundreds. I love this surgery and what it is doning to me! Thanks Dr Sarantos!!!!

06/18/04
wt~198
Weight is still comming off, but slow. If I could stay away from the scale I would but I like stepping on it everyday. Nothing new to really talk about. My sister is home from the hosp and doing good. She lost her job, I hope she finds a good one this time. She loves people so God please give her a JOB that will really make her happy and help provide for her family. Anyway I feel great. No complaints from the peanut gallery! TTYL

06/20/04
wt~197
Lost another pound! That makes a total of 36 lbs! I no longer have a bmi of morbidly obese. I am now just obese. I am so happy. I love to see the scale keep going down. The weird thing is that before surgery when I dieted I would always be soo hungry and now I am never hungry. In fact sometimes I feel too full. It is such a cool thing to loose weight and feel full at the same time. I think in past diets I deprived myself from eating too much.(counting less calories). Also when I went to the gym I would always get hungrier. It was a vicious cycle. Not anymore. I am now fitting into a size 16 comfortably, even those are getting a little baggy! My brother is getting married on July 3rd, and I want to get a new outfit for when we go. I am going to buy white capries, I am sick of the black and dark blue pants that I wear all the time. I also want to get a white pair of sandals. My husband mentioned that he is also getting tired of the dark colored shoes that I wear. I wear that color cause it goes with so many different outfits.

Today I also called Shirley in Gainesville to see about my refund. My insurance allowable paid $1498.00 so my allowable is 10% of that, which is $149.80, and I paid them $500. So i need a refund. I do have a out of pocket maximum of $500 so that is why they charged me that. However the hospital claims were paid first and so I owe them $350.00 so I need the money back from the doctors office. I am hoping she calls me back saying that the checks in the mail. I really have to pay the Hospital the money with a quickness. I was told by my insurance that the doctors office should not have asked for the money up front. Due to this reason happening. Frustrating, but I like Shirley in the billing office and I trust her that she will cut me a check shortly. Kudos to all the help she has done for me in the past, I will not forget it! Till later....

06/23/04
wt~196
Just wanted to update my weight. Lost another pound. I have decided to weigh myself once a week, that way i can see larger results. I love wls. I am so glad that I had it done. I can't even believe that I was thinking on not having it done at one time. Best wishes to all

06/28/04
WT~194
Happy Monday everyone! I am down two more pounds!!!!!!Yipee. I am so happy I had wls. It was truly one of the best things that I have done for myself. Today I have an appoitment with Dr Sarantos. It officially has been eight weeks since my surgery. I feel great, other then the fact that I need my B-12 injection. Running low on energy. I have been faithful on taking my vitamins everyday. I have not had any calcium yet. I do drink milk almost everyday so I am hoping that is enough. I also have been drinking my protien everyday. I am thinking on joining a gym next week. I am fired up to get this last 60 lbs off before Christmas. Yesterday I went to Adventure Landing Water Park with my kids. They had a blast. I enjoyed the time I spent with them. The summer is just flying by so quickly. I can't believe it. Thank you God for all the many things you have given me. Sometimes I might have overlooked them but I am truly thankful. Your love you shower me and my family with will always make us greatful.

Oh by the way, I know weigh less then my husband! Thought that I would never see that day! Tell next post.

Well it is in the PM and I am finally home from seeing the Doc. I got there and found out that my appt was not till tommorw in the AM, however the doctor would not be avaible on that day it turns out so comming in today worked out actually better. I had to wait till 2 pm to be seen and I got there at 10 am. So me and the girls went across the street to the Mall and did a little shopping. We had a fun time. Spent lots of $$$. Who said having kids are cheap? Anyways Dr Sarantos said that all is going great and that I am right on track with my weight loss. He also told me that loosing weight is like stair steps, you loose some, then ya stay the same for awhile, then loose some more, then hit another plateau. It seems like I do just that. Well gotta go Bye

07/02/04
wt~193
Happy July all! Can't believe that it is July already. My how the time just goes by...Well my brother is getting married tommorw and we will be making a trip to see them and be at their wedding. The kids are so excited to see their cousins. It truly brings back childhood memories when I was younger. Yesterday my oldest son mowed a couple of lawns and earned $20. He was excited, right away he wanted to go buy some fireworks. Must be a guy thing. Fireworks just do not excite me.

Well today I was happy I awoke to the scale reading 193!!!! Yipee. So happy, can't wait till I am in the 180's. Sometimes I feel like I will never get their. I know it will come off in due time. I have been eating almost anything I want now. I don't really care for bread to much. Funny, I used to love bread before the surgery, but know it is flavorless, and sits like a lump in my pouch. It also uses up a lot of wasted pouch space. lol I notice that I don't buy bread much at all any more. I have been eating tons of watermelon. Yummy, love watermelon and I can eat a ton of it too. Life is going good. I am just waiting patiently for school to start, I am ready to get my education rolling once again. Nothing will be stopping me now! Anyway, happy July to all of you. My prayers are with all the pre-oper's and post-oper's. God bless you all!

07/04/04
wt~193
Happy 4th of July to everyone. I had a great forth. Went to my brothers in Charleston, SC. We had a blast! My brother also got married to a wonderful person, Trish. They make such a great couple. I am so glad to see my brother happy again. Congradulations to you both, and welcome to the family Trish!

I had a good time, besides the fact that I could not drink. I was good and had my water. As far as the food goes I did good. I ate strawberries, cheese and melons. Also had a develied egg. I have no regrets on having my surgery. I love the fact that I can only eat a small amount till I get full. I still have a long way to go. I am still in a size 16. Uggh. I am planning on trying to join a gym this week to stay active and help boost up my metabolism and weight loss. My doctor mentioned that I should be 175 lbs by August 3rd. I really do not see that happening, but I am going to try hard. Till nex time hugs...

07/09/04
wt~192
Hi all, Happy Friday! So far the only thing going good today is the fact that it is pay day. I have to vent. I went to get a child support check from my ex-husband at his store. (He own's a small convience store) Well my younger son, (4yr old)went to my ex and asked him nicely if he could have some candy and that a-- hole told him NO!!! I could not believe it. He had a whole store full of candy and he could not give him one thing!!! Needless to say, my son was upset and started crying. My ex truly has a cold heart made of steel. I can not believe that I was married to him. The only thing good about it is that he was standing around all his friends and it made him look like a jerk. I am also discouraged about my weight loss. It is comming off slowly.....to slow. I am down to 192 so far which is maybe 1 lb this week. I know that it might be a platue but it still stinks. I am doing what I am supposed to do. I went to the gym yesterday and did the elliptical machine and free wts. I am just frustrated. I am planning on getting pictures taken on the 23rd and I would like to loose at least a couple more inches. Sigh....Will I ever make it to goal? Anyway I hope to document more weight loss soon. Thanks all for listening to me vent. I feel better already. Hugs to all.

07/12/04
wt~?
Yep I had not weighed myself in three days! Can you believe it? As of three days ago I was 192. I don't want to get on the scale cause I don't want to be disappointed. I have started going to the gym. Trying to at least three times a week. Today I did not go cause I went the day before and I am sooooo sore. I feel like my leg muscles are just throbing. I did however mow my lawn and help my neighbor mow is to. So that was my workout for the day, plus my good neighbor duty. Bonus pts for me. lol Man I want to step on the scale so bad today that I can't stand it. It's the not knowing that drives me crazy. I had a friend tell me today that she could notice a big difference in my weight loss. That was encouraging. I don't work so I do not really hear it from many people. My kids, well they don't even pay attention to my size. I am also doing good as far as my diet goes. I have been eating small amts. My favorite is cottage cheese with pineapple. YUM. I enjoy every bite. I had a bite or two of some pork chops that I baked today. It was good. Also had some corn for the first time. No problems. So far everything is going great. No complaints.

To all of you who are trying to get ins approval, my prayers are with you. I did not have troubles with getting approved, but I can't imagine what it would feel like to get denied. God, please bless them and give them the fighting spirit to keep moving forward to do whatever it takes. Amen.

God bless ya'all!

07/14/04
wt~191
Couldn't wait any longer to step on the scale. My weight as of today is 191 lbs. Wish it were more, however I am happy to see another pound gone. I have lost one pound in five days. Was hoping to be in the 180's, but didn't happen. I will be going to the gym today, I am trying to get into a routine. This will be my third time going this week. I enjoy getting out of the house. I have been getting frustrated easily, no paticular reason. Sometimes I think it is PMS, who knows.

07/15/04
wt~190
YIPEE, the scale showes that I have losed another pound. Weight is comming off slow, yet at least it is still comming off. I tried a size 14 pair of shorts on that would not fit me a week ago. Well I got them on. Would I wear them in public, NO still to tight, but at least I got them on and fastened. Still no problems with food. I love the fact that I got this chance with wls. Thanks God! You Rock!!! Sometimes it is easy in life to get discouraged at all the things we do not have, but in all reality God sure pours the blessings on from up above. For this I am greatful. I just found out today that my school will be paid for 100%! I sm do happy. Life is good.

0716/04
wt~190
Well today was ok. Weight stayed the same. I went to the mall with my friend and kids. Had fun looking at all the new fall clothes that are out. I still am not the size that I feel I would look good in. Most of the outfits that I like are more figure fitting. I know that I am shrinking, yet it can't be quick enough. I am going to try real hard to pay attention to my diet by not eating much carbs. Even if I did fit into the cute clothes, I have no money to buy any. And where would I wear them to? I stay home all day watching at least a half a dozen kids a day. Cleaning, cooking, and doing laundry. It gets old. Yes, it is very hard to be a at home mom. We miss out on a lot. I miss the glamour of buying new outfits to wear for work, and putting make-up on. Sounds crazy. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that I get to stay home with my kids. I just miss the extra stuff that comes with working, like a paycheck. Having the extra money to get stuff is nice. I havn't even started shopping for school clothes for my kids yet. I am not going to worry about it till the time comes. God always follows through for me. I just get depressed when there is no money. Wouldn't it be great to win the Lottery. I would love to be able to pay off my house! I highly doubt that will happen. I'm sorry for the sob story I just feel down. I would like to take the kids to a movie, but are funds are tight. We have to save any extra money we get for the trip to Atlanta next week. Anyway thanks all for listening to me vent. To all you loosers keep loosin. God Bless

07/18/04
wt~191
Well was not happy to see the weight gain. However I did finally start my period so that I know is the reason. It has been over four mths. I am happy cause I know that there should be at least 2-3 pound wts loss afterwards.

07/21/04
wt~188
YIPEE Lost three pounds. So happy. Yesterday I mowed the yard and hacked on some bushes for my excersice. Whew....I am sore and worn out. Well today it is of to Atlanta. We are going to visit with my husbands parents and also his sister. I will be nice to see them all. It's the packing that I hate. Yucky. I think I might go to Old Navy today to get a couple of nice shirts to wear. I hate wearing clothes that are so-so. I am als excited cause my hubby's sister is going to be taking pics of all of us. Yep that right! We are getting our family pic taken. So excited for that. I also saw my friend that I have not see for about three weeks. She mentioned that I was looking smaller. She noticed it in my arms this time. That put a smile on my face. I look into the mirror and still see fat. Hopfully soon that will start to change. I do notice some changes, like being able to sit indian styl on the bed. That is an accomplishment. Believe it or not I could not do that before I had my surgery. I am still wearing size 16's. Fitting nicely. I hate 16's! Can't wait till I can give all those sizes away for good. Anyway I am going to start packing for the trip today. We are leaving when my hubby gets off from work. Wish us a safe trip. Good luck all you pre and post of fellows!TTYA Erin


07/26/04
wt~188
Hello all. Yes we're back from our trip to Atlanta. We all had a blast. The kids were going non-stop. They were glad to see their cousins. Buford is really a nice area. Maybe in the future we could move to that area to be closer to family. Anyway you guessed it the first thing I did was step on the scale when I got home. Weight stayed the same, still 188. Oh well at least I did not gain anything. I have to start getting to the gym again to jump start the weightloss a little faster. My in-laws did not notice much change in my weight. Last time I saw them I was around five pounds heavier. So it is not much of a change for them. My sister in-law took tons of pics of all the kids and me and Scott and our whole family. Can't wait to load them and put one on my profile. She should be sending me the disk soon. She's awsome. I love ya Janelle! I now can't wait till Christmas, hopefully by then I will have lost another 50 lbs or so, and I will be at my goal weight. Then I'll see what responses I get.


07/29/04
wt~drum roll please....184!!!!
Wow I can't believe it, my weight is starting to fall off faster. Maybe it is all that yard work I have been doing or could be the late night walks I have been taking. Whatever it is I am so happy to see that it is comming off. Thank you Jesus! I do not remeber when I weighed 184. I do not even think that by dieting I have made it to this weight. I am so excited about the new me. Still hoping by Christmas to be at my goal, or close to it. I am just so happy! I am also thankful that I had the opportunity to have this surgery! I only wish that more people out in the world could have it done also. So many trying and not getting accepted by their insurance company. My prayers are with all going through the fight to get approved.

I am able to eat almost anything, I do not care for bread to much. It doesn't even taste appealing to me anymore. Funny cause before this surgery I loved bread. I do not even like to eat pizza much. The bread just sits in the pouch like a ball. And not only that you get full so fast on bread. I rather save the room for steak or salad or fruit. I love watermelon. I have not been sick by anything I have eaten so far. I still overeat every now and then. I will learn. I am enjoying my life more. I do not remeber the last time I cried cause I was fat. This surgery is a blessing!





08/03/04
WT~184
Still weighing the same. My body just does not want to get rid of the extra pounds. My mother always said that I am stubborn. Anyway, I think I have to kick up the weight loss a notch by getting myself a membership to the gym. I am hoping that in a couple of weeks when I start school the gym will be like second hand. I am disapointed that I did not loose anyweight, I only lost 8 pounds in July. Stinks Hopefully I will keep loosin. I had a lot of people who have not seen me in awhile say how good I look. That helps, but I still want to reach my goal by Christmas. Soooooo World Gym here I come. Having the surgery is a tool, but presistance is the key. I you still do not eat healthy you will not loose. Trust me. I realized that I do not dump like I wish sometimes I would. Anyway if anyone has any questions please send me an email, I would love to help in any way I can. Take care all you post ops, and loosers!

08/05/04
wt~184
I must be on a platue. I still weigh the same. Fricking platues! I can honestly say that I am fitting into size 14's much easier and that size 16's are getting baggy. That puts a smile on my face. Also the fact that more and more of my friends are really noticing a difference in my weight loss. I myself still look into the mirror and see the same fat me. I am hoping that will change. Honestly, I still feel like I look the same as I did when I started.

I just got back from my visit with my pcp. Actually I just had my B-12 inj. I really feel drained at the end of every month, and I can't wait till I get the shot. It gives me so much energy. I am also still taking my Multi-vitamin everyday. I need to drink more of my protien shakes, but I eat so much cottage cheese and regular cheese and tuna and eggs, that I don't believe I need the protien drink much anymore. I used to love bread, but I really do not care for it much anymore. It sits like a lump in my pouch, and takes up too much room for the good food. Not much more happin here. Kids will be going to school soon. That means baseball, and dance lessons start up full swing agian. Fun, fun, fun....Well hope all is well with everyone. God bless

08/08/04
wt~184
I think I am stuck on a stupid plateau. My doctor did tell me that weightloss is like stair steps. I was told that it is not a constant weightloss. I can't wait till I break this plateau. Anyway health wise I am doing great! School starts back tommorw for my little one. He is officially in Kindergarten. WOW, hes not a baby any more! Yesterday was his 5 birthday, he had a blast. He made us sing Happy Birthday to him twice.
Any way good luck to all you out there that are pre-ops, don't give up on being a looser! God bless.


08/11/04
wt~184
Yep, Darn it! Still the same weight. I am being very careful as to what goes into my mouth. Drinking all my water etc.. Still the same weight. I hate plateaus. This is the longest that I have gone without loosing even a pound. It is so frustrating. I have however gotten several comments on how good I am looking and at how much weight I have lost. Feels good to get compliments. So many times before wls I felt as if I didn't exist. God has been good. My family is healthy and our bills are getting paid. No complaints Lord. Just please keep the scale moving! As far as my diet goes I am eating plenty of fruit and tons of salad. Of course along with my protien. I don't care much for bread anymore. I am thinking of keeping a log of what I eat to know exactly how many calories go into my mouth! Till next update, Good luck all you loosers out there!

08/14/04
wt~183
Finally I am down a pound. Thank you Jesus. Proof that he answers prayer. I am not complaining, a pound is a pound. We just bearly missed hurricane Charley last night. My prayers are with those who have lost their homes and/or family members. There was so much damage that was done. Sad to see. On the other note the Olympics officially started and me and my family sat down together to watch the opening cermony. It is amazing to see how much money they put into the games. Greece appears to be a beautiful country. I have not yet had the chance to travel outside the USA, I am hoping to one day. Paris here I come. Till next time keep loosin.

08/18/04
wt~181
I am so happy, I am finally down to 181 lbs! Wahoooooo!!! I feel great. Good luck to all you pre ops trying to get approved my prayers are with you all, and to all the loosers out there keep loosin!

08/20/04
wt~180
Happy Day! So glad to see the scales move down more. Feels so unreal. It is like a dream. Someone pinch me. I have only 40 more pounds till I reach my personal goal. Will I make it by Christmas? If I don't it will not bother me as long as the weight keeps comming off. I have been busy trying to get things together for school starting 8/23 for my older three children. Cost wise it gets expensive. All need shoes, 2 pair might I add. One for their uniforms (only allowed to wear dress shoes) and the other tennis shoes for gym class. I am on the man hunt for sales, sales, sales. I have already found a couple pair of shoes at the local Goodwill store. Bargin price $1.00 per pair. Can't beet that! I love Goodwill stores. Sometimes when you go you don't find a thing, but other times you strick it rich! I will try to get the rest of the school stuff done this weekend. Whew...

I am having problems with my teeth. My gums by my front two teeth are swollen. I have been rinsing my mouth with Listerine and swishing with warm salt water. I hate going to the dentist, but if the swelling does not go down soon I will be taking a trip to the local dentist. My mouth is so sore and I hate the throbing. Who knows, maybe I will drop additional weight cause I can't eat very good.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention, we are now the proud owners of a new puppy. We already have one dog. Lucky (lasa Apso), however we were just offered a FREE miniture cocker spainiel. He is light brown. Cream color. We will not get him for another couple weeks cause he is still to small to be taken away from his mother. He is so cute! In order for my husband to agree with him we made a deal. Set of Berringer speakers for the dog. Mind you the speakers are quite expensive. But we both agreed and the deal was settled and sealed with a kiss. The puppy's name will be Berringer, after the speakers. Perfect name for the little guy. Can't wait till we get to bring him home!

08/21/04
wt~179
YIPEE, another pound gone! I can't even tell you when I remeber being in the 170's! I am so happy as to what the scale says, however I still look like the same ole me when I look into the mirror. Hoping that will change soon. I am happy that I am loosing again. Thank you Jesus!

08/25/04
wt~179
My weight is still the same. I went to the Vein Clinic today to check on a varicose vein in my L leg. I am hoping to have surgery done on it soon. It is bothering me and I am not able to take any anti-inflammatory meds. I am not looking foward to being subjected to more pain, but it should be a walk in the park compared to wls. I feel great! I have more and more compliments on how much weight I am loosing. Most people notice it in my face. I feel a little different, however to myself, I still feel and look fat. I think that it is a psychological thing I have to put behind me. Still working on that. I do love the fact that I can cross my legs and sit indian style on the floor. A simple thing like that people take for granted. Well I am tired, checking out for today. Prayers are with all the pre-op people!

09/02/04
wt~178
Well I am only down a pound, but a pound is a pound. I will take all I can get. The most impressing thing is how fast I am moving down in sizes! OMG I am now able to fit into a size 10, tight, very tight, but still! Size 12's are fitting much better, still a little snug but ok to wear in public. Size14's are baggy but comfortable. Size 16's are just to big. Not pretty to look at so they will all be packed up and sent to Goodwill. I wish the scale was down a little more, but that is ok. I need to work out more. I started school this week and WOW! I am so rusty. So much homework and so little time when you have a family to take care of. I hope I am doing the right thing.

I am so glad to be a looser. I count my blessing everyday. Today I saw a young lady that was extremely morbidly obese. My heart went out to her. She was sweating up a storm and breathing so heavily. Many college students were staring at her and laughing. I just wanted to tell her I understood how she feels. I felt so alone when I was obese. Even making friends was not easy. Thank you God for this chance I have in my life to have the opportunity to be a happy healthy me!

Well gotta get prepared for Hurricane Francis headed our way! Prayers to everyone on their journey to the loosing side and to all who made it across welcome and be ready for a whole new life!

09/07/04
wt~177

Well I am finally down another pound. The weight is really comming off slowly. I wish it would be a little faster. The weather outside does not help. It has been raining for the last three days due to hurricane Frances. Thank God it did not hit us directly. It was a huge and powerful storm. The whole state of Florida felt some of it's wrath. Now we even have to watch out for yet another hurricane called Ivan. The kids and myself might I add are enjoying the extra days off from school. What a nice break. Well I am hoping for more pounds to come off. Over all I am down 56 pounds. Not bad at all might I add. I have to look at the big picture to remind myself exactly where I have been comming from. Everyone keep loosing!

09/8/04
wt~176
Well I am down another pound. Yeah! One more pound I can kiss good-bye forever! It is such a great feeling. What would be even greater is if I could get to the point where I do not need to loose any more weight. Hopefully soon that day will come. As for now I am just focusing on my short term goals. The current goal is to just make it to the 160's! So I have six more pounds to go! I can do it! I know I can. School is really blowing me away right now. WOW! The homework is crazy. I really give a lot of credit to people that can speak two or more languages. All I can say is God Bless you. There is so much to keep track of and to memorize! Sometimes I think that I am too old for college, but without it I can't make money. So money is my drive, along with of course a solid career. I think I definately hit my mid life crises. As far as my major goes, I am just taking it one semester at a time. I would like to get into Nursing however due to high demand, spaces are limited. Like I said, just like my weight, baby steps at a time.

A quick note as to how I am feeling. TIRED....All I want to do is sleep. I need to get my B-12 inj shoot again. It seems like when the B-12 shot is due I am very tired. I heard that it is normal to be tired expecially when you do not get your B-12. I am thinking of just getting a bottle and taking it along with my multi-vitamin. This way I won't get soo tired. I need to also try to get more protien in. My hair is really starting to fall out. I have lots of it so I don't really miss it, but it is frustrating to have hair all over the place. I wonder when this fase will pass.

Hummm.. lets see, I am now buying a size 12 in jeans for the winter! Yep a size 12, you heard correctly! Yes they are tight, but I can still zip them up and breath in them. I am hoping that once I loose around 10 more pounds that I will be able to fit them more comfortably. Size 14's now fit baggy. I am in between sizes. Don't ya just hate that? I do. My shirt size went from a XL to a L. The only thing that scares me about that is the fact that I am loosing some of the girls. If ya know what I mean. Sigh...Oh well nothing a little of ps can't fix. That all comes in due time. Like I said baby steps.

For anyone who is reading this, if you have any questions you want to ask me please feel free to do so. I would love to help in any way possible. I wish all who are considering this surgery the best of luck on the're journeys. Yes you will hit bumps in the road, along with some road blocks that might discourage you, but keep truck'in! Don't give up. I am so glad I didn't. I am starting to love the new me for the first time in years. Since I had the surgery I have not shed one tear due to my weight or how I looked. I have gotten some of my self confidence back that I longed for years ago. It is amazing how being obese can make such a negative impact on ones life, as myself speaking. Good luck and God Bless.

09/14/04
wt~176
My how the time just flies by. I can't believe that it is already the 14th. Anyway life is good. I am now wearing a size 12 comfortably. I have not lost anymore weight yet but I know that it will come off. I am getting so many compliments. I feel like a new person. School is now going full force. I study whenever I get a free chance. It takes me longer for things to sink into my brain then when I was 24 yrs old, but none the less I keep going. I have not had any major problems yet. Thank you God. Stressed yes, but thats college life.
Prayers and hugs to all trying to get approved, and for all that made it to the loosing side! God is Great!

09/18/04
wt~173
Well I lost some more pounds. Feeling great other then being tired. I need to really get in a habit of taking my B-12 and multivitamin. I am hoping that it will help some. I am so excited to be loosing more weight. This really seems like a dream. Someone pinch me. Och! Nope I'm not dreaming. Anyway gotta take a quick nap to get rested for more studying. If I don't get enough sleep my mind does not function well and I get frustrated easy. Good luck to all! Oh, by the way my BMI now states that I am overweight! NO longer obese! YIPEE

09/22/04
wt~?
Have not weight today to busy with school. Well I am feeling pretty good now. I made it threw two exams I have two more to go. Yuck. Man, It wears me out! I am so tired today. I don't want to go to school, but if I miss a class of stats then I will be lost in my homework. Same goes with Spanish.
I am still very tired. I was once again not able to make it to my wls doctor's appt. I had an exam that day that I would not have been able to make it up. I am planning on calling my family md to get some blood work done to make sure everything is ok. My hair is comming out by the handfuls. Still not worried, I have very thick hair. Just get tired of cleaning the drain in the shower. I am now in a size 12 comfortable! I don't remeber when I was that size. I feel great. At school when I am waiting for class I sit on the floor indian style and do my homework. Something that simple I would have never been able to do. I don't take much for granted anymore. Well gotta go get the kids ready for school and myself as well. Everyone, keep on keeping on! Hugs

09/24/04
wt~173

Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband! I love you! I hope you have a wonderful birthday. Thanks for always listening to me when I need you, even during football games! Your the best and I love you! I couldn't have done wls without you!

09/26/04
wt~173
Still weighing the same however I can really tell that I am loosing inches. I am wearing a pair of pants that I wore before I had wls. They are huge! They fall off when I walk! I can't believe it, someone pinch me. I am just passing time, hurricane Jeanne is now passing over us. The weather is terrible. Thank God, we still have power! It's hard to believe because the wind is blowing so hard that it looks like the trees are going to break in half. Well I gotta go clean house. Take care all and good luck for all you pre ops and post ops!





10-01-04
wt~170
HAPPY OCTOBER EVERYONE!!

I am pleased to tell everyone that I am down three more pounds! God is good. Never, and I mean never in a million years did I ever think that I could get down to this weight! It is so nice. I feel so much better about myself. I don't struggle with everyday activities anymore like I used to. I am not embarrased about myself at all. I don't care how many pictures the kids want to take of me. I love what I am becoming! Slim and healthy. School is going good. I never thought that it would be such a shocker to go back. It has been a bumpy road here and there, however I keep going. Yes there were some times that I thought I would not make it. I just kept going. After my first squal of exams gone I feel more at peace. Whew. In English we have to do a research paper and our topic is ....Nutrition... hmmmm...any good ideas would be great. I am going to see if I can do it on you guessed it wls. I am hoping my teacher will say ok. Keep your fingers crossed. Well I am going to take a nap, been tired lately and I have a ton to do tonight when the kids come home from school. (daughter is dancing today and son has baseball game). Go Dogers!!! That is my olders son's team name. So wish them well.

If anyone has any questions whatsoever, please don't hesitate to email me!

10/8/04
wt ~170
Not much has happened since I last updated. Yep still going strong in school. I am still not used to all the homework and papers that are due, but I must keep going. I need a new car in the near future. My van is falling apart slowly. I am hoping it will at least last a couple more years till after I graduate.

I am still maintaining my weight at 170. It seems like the less I have to lose the longer it takes to shed a couple of pounds. Eating healthy has not been a problem for me. I can honestly say that I have been doing great as far as food goes. School keeps me busy, busy, busy. I maybe should be eating more protien. My hair is still falling out! Hoping that will slow down. My body seems to be clinging to 170 for dear life. This was my normal weight after my third child. I am hoping the plateau will break soon. Size 12 jeans are fitting me great. Loving the new/used clothes I find. I enjoy being able to have more of a variety of clothes to wear. My heart really goes out to those who are obese. I feel their silent suffering. My friend Sandy just found out that she got apporved for wls. Go Sandy. Good luck, let me know if you need anything! Also my sister, yep my sister is trying to get approved. I am hoping all goes ok with her. I love you Kerstin!

My friends that already had wls are all doing great! I am so happy for them. It is nice to feel like you have control of your life back, not to mention the feeling healthy part! It really is a great feeling! I know I will forever be greatful.

This weekend is slammed. My baby has a T-ball game on saterday, and my older son has a football game on sunday. Good luck boys! Also I have an exam in spanish class on Monday, and another in Statistics on Wednesday. Wish I know what I was doing in that class. Oh well, 7 weeks left and counting!

God has been good to my family. I hope he blesses yours just as much. Happy Friday to all!

10/11/04
wt~169.5

Can you say finally! It may be 1/2 pound, however it is still a lose. My body is clinging to the excess fat for dear life. At least that is what it seems. None the less it is still a lose as Weight Watchers would say. Now I was just hoping for some prayers. I have a Spanish exam today and for some reason this class is harder then expected. I do have only seven weeks left till the class is over! hard to believe. Well gotta head out to school.

10/13/04
wt~169
Hey all just had surgery done on my varcose vein yesterday. It was no big deal compared to wls. Today I am sore and my leg is throbing, however nothing I can't handle. I am loosing weight slowly. I wish it were faster. Sometimes I say it does not bother me, however today I really wish the scale would move a little more.
Being in school is tough. I am tired most of the time. Studying wears you out. SIGH....not to mention everything else going on in my life with the family and kids. Open enrollment for spring term is now upon me and yes I'm still going strong. I did sign up for 4 more classes. God help me! I am taking Spanish II, Speech, Economics and Chemistry. All together 14 credits. After these classes I will have met my required classes needed for an AA degree! I am getting to where I have to be surly but slowly. I am glad however that my English classes will be done. Whew... I would like to get started on my major classes towards my degree. It gets old taking just general classes. I have decided to apply for the nursing program at UNF and at JU. UNF has over 1000 students applying for the program and they only take 48 per semester! So chances of getting in are slim. If I get in at JU, hopefully I can get scholarships because the school is VERY expensive. If I get in at UNF GREAT! If I don't get in to either then I am going to stay focused on getting my Health Administration BSN, which is my second choice. I would like to be a pharmacutical sales rep. (BSN required) I going where the good Lord directs me. My desire is to be a nurse and help little ones, however I am in no control what so ever when it comes to getting into the nursing field due to its competitive nature. I leave it in Gods hands. Only God knows what my plans are in the future. Is what I want the same as what God wants for me? I don't know. Sometimes what we want and what God wants for us are two completely different things. So God, please direct me in the direction you wish for me to go. Humble me to help me undetstand why you have chosen the path you lay before me. This part of my life is so clouded. I am so confussed. I am blessed to be a mother, however I still feel like there is a void missing. What? I do not know.

Congradulations Sandy on your approval! You go girl!
Good luck Kerstin on your journey to getting approved. Don't give up! Even though the road seems rocky you won't regret it. To everyone else out there on their journey to the loosing side. My prayers are with you all. God Bless All!

10/14/04
wt~169
Well I just got back from my younger son's t-ball game. Go Braves! We lost but that is ok, our kids are the best. I am sitting here just exhausted and sore. My leg is hurting, and feel like I can fall over and pass out. I need to study for my stats test on Monday. I am just too tired. Even if I tried I could not get the brain energy to think clearly. I also have three papers and a rough draft I have to finalize for classes next week. Not to mention memorizing more spanish words. Whew. I am just tired. I wish I did not have to go to school now. It is just so hard for me. I will not quit. I know the results will benefit me in the long run. I am just t-i-r-e-d.

I still have not lost any weight. I am on the plateu for -ell. Oh well, honestly that is not on my mind much. I have stayed so busy. I will update more later.

10/17/04
wt~168
Just wanted to do a quick update before I dive into the bed. I am now down another pound! Yeah, I get so excited when the scale keeps going down. It means that I am getting closer and closer to my personal goal, which is in the 130's. I have gotten so many compliments on how I am looking now. It really makes me feel good. I am so glad I went through with the surgery. The road was not an easy one, but the outcome is far worth it. My friend Nancy has a surgery date scheduled for Nov 15th. I am so happy for her. I know she is nervous that is normal. Go Nancy, I will be praying for you all the way. Well I got to get some sleep, I have a Statistics exam tommorow. Good night all!

10/18/04
wt~167
YIPEE I am down another pound, yeah! Happy Day, well gotta get ready to go take my Stats test. All please say a prayer for me that I do good. God Bless.

10/25/04
wt~166
Hello all well it is monday morning and I just wanted to update that I lost another pound. Yeah it is only one pound in one week, yet it is still a loss. I have to tell you the Halloween candy probably has not helped out much. It seems that I can eat a snack size candy bar without any harm done.

I went through my closet and got rid of EVERYTHING! I mean every last pair of pants or skirtsthat was a size 20-18-16 went to my friend. I have no clothes! I went to consignment and bought two pairs of size 12 pants just to get me by. I was down that day, so it was a good feeling to clean out the closet. I have not been able to do that in a long time!

School is going good. Not much longer and I will be done with this term. That means one more to go to get my AA, then it is off to UNF(University of North Florida). BSN here I come! Yes it will be still quite awhile, but I will keep swimming, I refuse to drown!!! Inch by inch is a sinch. Yard by yard is too hard!

10/28/04
wt~166
Hi all, just here to report. I have been down lately. Tired I guess. Weight is comming off slowly. I also miss my family a lot. It has just been too long since we have been together. I feel like I don't even know any of them. Even if I did get to go visit them what is one week a year? It stinks. I wish I could just see them whenever. Should I give up all I have here in Florida? Husband has a good job here and in Saginaw there is little to no jobs that will even support us. Even so my husband does not want to move to Michigan. I just hate being a long distance sister. It doesn't elp when the holidays come around either. No family here for Thanksgiving, it gets depressing. Wish I could fly us all up their for the holiday's. This leads to the other issue that gets me down. Money...well I am just thankful we have what we have. Wish, however we had extra to take more trips to see family and friends. I hope I am doing the right thing going to school. I want so much to get a job so we can afford more for us as a family. I am greatful for everything we have, just feeling blue. Sigh...Till later





11/03/04
wt~166
I am not very happy this month about my weight loss. I wish I could have lost more. I am only down 4 pounds. I need to put more effort into it. I just did not try that hard last month. I ate all the wrong foods with little to no excersice. I have crossed some milestones despite the everything. I emptied out my closet, and I am doing fairly well in school. I am also in a comfortable size 12! I will be glad when I can say good bye to this term. I thought I would never say this but I miss working and bringing home a paycheck. I enjoy dressing up to go to work. I enjoyed going shopping to get new outfits. I enjoyed the fact that it made me feel like was accomplishing something. Hopefully one day I will get that back. Till now I just keep on plugging through school.

Time has just flown by way too fast. My boys will be done with baseball in a week and Christmas is just around the corner. Right now I am really not in the Christmas mood. It is hard to celebrate the holidays when it is 95 degrees outside! It has been hot, hot, hot. Need I say more. Also the fact that I am so worn out with school. I just simply feel like I have no more energy or strength left in me. I guess you can just call me Scroge. Bah hum bug.

Sorry just have to get somethings off my chest. My prayers are with all who are going through the process of being a looser, and to all who are already loosers, keep loosin!

11/15/04
wt~164
Well at least I am still loosin. Slowly but surly. School is still going strong. I am now in the final weeks. Yipee. So glad.

Good news, yesterday I went to goodwill and bought a size 10 jeans, they fit! A little snug around the waist but none the less I still wore them today! I don't remeber when I was last a size 10! It feels so good! I just have two more sizes till I reach my personal goal. I wish the weight were comming off faster but can't complain. I am praying for you Sandy. I hope all is well. Welcome to the loosing side. My friend Sandy had her surgery today, everyone please pray for a speedy recovery. She has kids and kids every stop needing. I am keeping you in my prayers. God Bless you.

Oh also my husband and I celebrated our 5 yr aniversary on the 13th. My how time flies by

11/20/04
wt~164
Still not much weightloss. Wish it was more, oh well just have to be patient I guess. My friend Sandy is at home doing well. She had her wls on Monday 11-15 and she is really doing great. An answer to prayer. Still everyone keep her in your prayers that she recovers quickly so her life can get back to normal. She had her surgery at a very hard time of the year. One week before Thanksgiving Day.

I am doing great. I am now wearing a size 10! WOW who would have thought. I get so many compliments on how well I look. I couldn't be more happier. I only wish that I would loose weight just a tad faster then the rate I am loosing now.

School is going good so far. I am hoping for some A's. We will have to see what becomes of the final tests. I just have soo much homework and so many papers to write. I stay so busy! My house is never clean. Oh well, life goes on. I hope everyone is getting for turkey day! This year I am cooking. Gobble Gobble! I will be cooking the day before Thanksgiving and we will be eating on paper products, thank you. I too want to enjoy my holiday. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

11/23/04
wt~163
Wow I am finally down another pound. Not complaining. Turkey day is upon us and I'm sure the weight will probably not come off much more in the next couple days. Got a turkey today to deep fry tomorrow. Also doing tons of homework. Just want to update and wish all you on your journey to the loosing side to not give up and keep pushing on! Happy Thanksgiving all!!

12/01/04
WT~163
Happy December! Sad to say that I still weigh the same. SIGH Very depressing, wish that it were more, yet I am still very happy with my progress in how much I have lost so far! I know that through Thanksgiving it has been hard to eat the good things, but I feel I have been doing so far so good. I need to kick up the excercise much more. I am planning on walking everyday this month. One of my monthly goals. I am almost done with school with the exception of a couple weeks. I have been STRESSED OUT and that is saying it nicely. Whew I will be so glad when my last English research paper is done! Thanks to my friend Kristi for all your help! I could not have done it without you! HUGS

I am in a size 10 feeling happy! One of my friends gave me some size 10 slacks. It feels so good to be a normal size. I really want to go down just a couple sizes more that would be nice. My hair is still falling out, but other then that no complaints. I have no problems eating whatever. I still love fruit and cottage cheese. I am hoping to loose weight Christmans shopping. We will have to see. Till next time hope you all take care.




12/8/04
wt~162
FINALLY, I lost a pound. I guess a pound is a pound is a pound. Not complaining. Just happy to see one more melt off my body. Only complaint I have is hair falling out. I am hoping that it will diminish soon. Besides that all is well.

I am getting ready for Christmas, going to Atlanta can't wait to see them and their reaction. To me I look the same, however to others I am shrinking. I still see fat, weird, feel same as I did when I started out as far as how I look at myself. Hopefully this will change soon.

My classes are coming to an end. It has been a crazy past couple of weeks, thought I would never get through them. Whew, one more to go! After that I start all over agian. Fun

12/08/04
wt~161
Yahoo, I lost another pound. Finally a little result. I will even be happy with one pound a week. 12's are too big and 10's are fitting me much better. My goal is to get into a size 6. I still can't beleive that I am into a size 10. What a great feeling! Hair is still coming out, but thats ok. I eat normal meals with my family, just much smaller in size.

Today is the last day of English II, after this I am finished with English. So happy. I actually did it. I am hoping to get an A in the class, however it all depends on the research paper that I turned in today. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Statistics is also a borderline A/B don't know what to expect. My final test is on Monday in that class. Spanish is also another close call. Hoping to get an A, I have a comprehensive exam on Wed and after that I am done!!!!!!!!! Then I start over with more classes. These should be easier however. Happy Day.

12/11/04
wt~161

Still at 161 and holding. I don't think the M&M's I ate today helped any. I have to get refocused. I have been down lately. Several children that I have been checking on that have cancer are all dying. Is there nothing we can do to help them? It is sad to see. They are all so sweet and carefree, brave little souls. Why does stuff like this happen to little ones. Wish that more money can be spent on research to help with a cure. My prayers are with the families that lost their children. I can't even imagine to understand what they are going through. So sad...please pray for them. One little boy that really touches my heart is Big Ben. www.big-ben.com, he has Rhabdoid cancer that has become so agressive his prognosis is poor. He is such a beautiful boy. Send them prayers please. Sometimes in life it is so easy to get frustrated in things you want but can't get, or upset about $$ or whatever, I look at life feeling lucky I have a happy healthy family! Nothing else can bring me down. Every night I always make sure to tell them I love them and I always try to give them extra hugs and kisses. So many other parents that have kids that are now angels in heaven do not have that oppoturnity. I am thankful I do!

Well hope you all are getting your Xmas shopping done, I have a little more to go but am almost done. God bless all, and don't forget to give your kids a hug and kiss today!

12/28/04
wt~161

Not much to report. Not much weightloss this month. I am sure it is due to all the chocolate I have been eating. I need to get refocused for the new year. I had a great Christmas and many people that have not seen me mentioned that I looked great. I know personally that I can do better. I am wearing a comfortable size 10, goal is to be in a size 6.

Oh I also got the final grades in for school. Enc 1102 I got an A, Spanish I got an A, and in Art I got an A. Got one B in stats class. I am proud of myself. I am soon going to start again in the spring this time taking Macroeconomics, Spanish II, History and Speech. I feel more confident this semester. Prayers are with all who are on their journey wether it be pre or post wls. God Bless


12/31/04
wt~161

Well, this is the last day of Year 2004! Time has gone by so quickly. I pray that all who had BCBS and wanted WLS got what they wanted. I look back and know that WLS surly has made me a new person. I no longer cry at night because of feeling so unworthy, even though I knew that wasn't the case. I feel more energetic and alive. I feel now that I can go into year 2005 with a whole new grasp on life. I feel I can conquer anything that is laid in front me. I love the person I now am and I love life once again. I wish others could feel what i am feeling. Joy!! That is so robbed from you when you are depressed because of weight. Thank you God the chains are released and I am free from that bondage! I want to wish all my loved ones family and wls family a very Happy New Year. To those who are struggling with the battle of weight and going through the process of approval, DO NOT GIVE UP! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!! Peace to you all and a prospors New Year.




!!!!HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
01/05/05
wt~161
Not mucht to say about my weight, it is obvious that I have to work much harder to get the last twenty-five pounds to go away. I am going to get a membership at World Gym. I am hoping to incorporate excersice into my week at least three times a week. I hope it works out where I can go after school. I really need to firm up a little and shed those extra pounds. I want to try to reach my goal before my one year aniversary with wls. I can do it! I am in a size 10 which are getting a little bit more baggy, that makes me happy, size 8 here I come.

I start classes next week, not to anxious this time around, school gets old really fast. I still have a long ways to go. I guess I just have to keep pushing through till I reach my goal -Bachlor's in Science-.

01/12/04
wt~161
Yep still the same weight. I am watching more or what goes into my mouth. I really want to break the plateau and get into the 150's. I was wanting to get my membership at the gym, however because our van broke down the funds for the gym had to go towards the van to get fixed. Bummer....that's life. Guess I am going to be walking for awhile. I have gotten many complements on how much weight I have lost, this makes me feel good. I am still however frustrated that I not gone down in pounds. Sigh...

School started up this week. History is sooo boring...Economics is so so, and Spanish will keep me busy and last is speech, which appears to be easy, but nerve wracking. I am hoping for good grades. Keeping my fingers crossed. Will I ever finish with school? I have to remeber like my friend told me to keep my eye on the goal, and that goes for both school and weightloss. God Bless all. I have to study some more before my children come home from school.




March 22, 2005
WT 157

I can't believe how long it has been since I last updated. Wow. Time flies. Just a quick update to catch you all up. Yes, I am still in school hanging on. It is tough. Very hard to do when you have 4 kids and a husband that demands a lot of attention. He is a good help though when I need him to watch the kids if I have a exam to study for. I am now in my second semester of Spanish. Yuck. I find it hard but I am making it through ok. I also am taking History, Macroeconomics and speech. All I can say is that I am ready for this semester to be over with. I know I always say that every semester. I am happy to say that after my summer class I will officially have my AA degree! Happy Day! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully the next couple of years in school will be more interresting because it is more of what I want to do.

I am also happy to say that I am now enrolled at World Gym and activly going three times a week. I have to really try hard to get the last 20 lbs off my body. I can see my tummy tuck in the background. I feel so great! I am thankful that I had the opportunity to have WLS. What a life changing experience for me! I now weigh 157 as of this morning. My personal goal is to get to 139.5. So as you can see I am almost at my goal. The weight is comming off much slower and I really have to work harder at getting it off. I need to drink more water and take my B-12 on a more regular basis. I am good about taking my vitamins and calcium. I am in a comfortable size 10, I would like to get into a size eight this summer. If I keep up at the Gym I know I can do it!

Well I hope everyone has a great Easter!
Future Update



5-2-05
wt - 155
Sorry it has been so long since I last updated. I am now at 155 and still loosing. Very Slowly. But at least im still a looser. I have been going to the gym three times a week to get the last couple of pounds off my body. If I don't loose another pound I will be extremely happy. I have come a long way in one year. This summer will surly be a summer I can enjoy. I love shopping and laying out at the pool. It all wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for the surgery. My husband as I wished in the beginning now attacks me like I have so longed for. I have absoultly NO regrets whatsoever. So if you have gotten approved from your Ins and you have the green light, do what makes you happy. I did! Life couldn't be better. I am still in school full time and pulling my hair out because of it. ARRRGGGHH but this too shall pass. I love being with people so it in reality is a good thing. I have made tons of friends. Best wishes to all who are thinking or are on their journey to a happier healither life. God Bless

06/06/05
wt-156
sorry to say I am up one pound, can't seem to get into the 140's. Although I am happy at my current weight I still would have liked to reach my goal weight just to say I did it. My body just does not want to drop anymore pounds. I can't seem to shake off the last 15-20 lbs. Stinks However I am now wearing a bikini with a wrap around the bottom half. Too much sagging and strech marks. None the less still am in a two piece and looking good might i add. I am still being active with the gym, if not at the gym then running here at the house. Size 10 is fitting good not to tight just perfect. I would love to see a size 8 down the road. I do like to snack at night and I know that is not helping me out. Good luck to all of you pre op friends! I don't regret having the surgery done and I would not have been able to loose the weight on my own. Life is good. I would do it agian in a heart beat. I have had no problems what so ever! Well maybe a little dumping. Anyways all take care.

Weight loss Chart

May 3, 2004 ~ 233(start weight)
June 3, 2004 ~ 203 (down 30 lbs!)
July 3, 2004 ~ 193 (down 10 lbs! Total loss ~ 40lbs)
August 3, 2004 ~ 184 (down 9 lbs! Total loss ~ 49lbs)
September 3, 04 ~ 177 (down 7 lbs Total loss ~ 56lbs)
October 3, 2004 ~ 170 (down 7 lbs! Total loss ~ 63lbs)
November 3, 2004 ~ 166 (down 4 lbs Total loss ~ 67lbs)
December 3, 2004 ~ 163 (down 3 lbs Total loss 70lbs)
January 3, 2005 ~ 161 (down 2 lbs Total loss 72 lbs)
Feburary 3, 2005 ~ 160 (down 1 lb total loss 73 lbs)
March 3, 2005 ~ 157 (down 3 lbs total loss 76 lbs)
April 3, 2005 157 (down 0 lbs, total loss 76 lbs)
May 3, 2005 ~ 155 (down 2 lbs total loss 78 lbs)


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    Surgeon Info:
    Surgeon: Peter Sarantos, M.D.
    I thought he was a very nice man. Very informative and took time to understand my needs and what I was looking for. He covered all aspects of the surgery. Covered all the risks to problems it could cause with relationships. His staff was very nice never had a problem working with them. The only thing I can honestly say I did not like was the office appearance. Small not very updated. Not much room for all patients to sit. Chairs not very accomadating for MO people. For the money they make, a couple things could have been changed to make us patients more at home. Plants would have been nice. He has a 18 mth aftercare plan with his patients for follow up. He is overall has a great bedside manner and I feel completely confident in his surgical skills. He does mostly wls. Over 400 wls a in a year roughly. (Includes all doctors in practice)No doubt in my mind that he is a great surgeon. Did I mention on top of everything he is also cute.
    Insurer Info:
    BC/BS of Florida, PPO
    They were great! Surgeon's office approved over phone. Took ten minutes at most! I think that because they are not covering the surg in 2005 that they are letting more get approved if they qualify. My only regret is that in 2005 the surgery will no longer be covered. I would strongly call pre cert get specifics on what they are looking for, then be prepared to face whatever battle comes your way. You might be pleasantly suprised like myself.