5 October 2008
Wow. Three years!! I had actually lost track of time until I got my anniversary email.
In three years I have:
*lost over 140 pounds (I bounce between 125-130)
*carried a child to term (39 weeks)
*lost all my baby weight and then some (hence the bouncing between 125-130)
*gone back to fininsh my last semester of school
*bought a pair of pants in an impossibly small size 3 and worn them, even before plastics!!! (still considering this, but haven't met with a dr yet)
4 June 2006
Just some more stuff to add to my page- I love these quizzes!
?? Which Angel Or Demon Are You ??
Your Birthdate: September 7
You are an island. You don't need anyone else to make you happy.
And though you see yourself as a loner, people are drawn to you.
Deep and sensitive, you tend to impress others with your insights.
You also tend to be psychic - so listen to that inner voice!
Your strength: Your self sufficiency
Your weakness: You despise authority
Your power color: Maroon
Your power symbol: Hammer
Your power month: July
What kind of wings would you have? (Anime Pics)
You have green wings. You are a real nature lover. You love to be around animals. You enjoy listening to the sounds of nature, and think that natural beauty is underrated.
Take this quiz!
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5 May 2006
Wow! I hadn't realized so much time had gone by since my last posting! Sorry about that, to anyone who actually reads this.
I had my follow-up a few weeks ago. Overall I am doing great! I need to find out how to get my Century Card because I am now formally down 105 pounds! Can you believe it? Most of the time I can't. But I'll tell you what...I am sitting here in a pair of size 12 jeans that are too big. That's right- Rachael needs to march back on down to Walmart and buy herself some 10s. OMG.
Bloodwork looks pretty good, but my liver and potassium were high the first draw and at the repeat (about a week later) potassium was back to normal, but the liver is still a concern. Dr. F says we'll keep an eye on it because I am not having any right-side pain at the moment. Sigh.
Other BIG news- I DO NOT HAVE SLEEP APNEA anymore!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO! No more Darth Vader mask for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am dancing and singing and in general making an ass out of myself but I don't care! I am too happy to be able to (eventually, when he comes home) jump my husband's bones and then fall asleep next to him without having to hook up that damn machine.
School is out for the semester. I didn't do as well as I wanted, but in all honesty, I did better than I expected. It has been a hellish semester filled with adjustments to my body, Drs appointments, kid problems, depolyment problems, etc. Thank G-d I have my health. Still, I guess a 3.2 isn't anything to sneeze at.
I love you all!
Raven- now feeling my outside is beautiful at 157 (25 to go!)
28 January 2006
Had my 3 month follow up with Dr Faulkenberry yesterday (one of those rare days he sees anyone on a day other than Tuesday). My weigh in there was 187 ( I like my scale better at 183.5- he says that's naked, 1st thing in am, etc)
I haven't been able to really work out like I want to for the last 2 weeks because of endometrial pain. If I do work out, it's doped to the gills on Vicodin and I can't lift weights then because I can't tell if I am straining too much or not. Still, he put it in perspective for me:
I have lost ONE QUARTER of myself. Not my excess weight, but my TOTAL weight. Wow. SO I feel a bit better today.....
Anyway, I am knee deep in school, my kid's hip hop classes and trying to figure out how best to save for us to get out of Army life. The days are hectic to say the least.
Take care of yourselves!
1 January 2006
Wow- sorry about that- time got away fromme.
So I am now just under 3 months out (on 4 Jan it will be 3 mos) and down about 70 pounds! Go me!
My husband's shirts are now too big (as if a t shirt ever could be?!) and I am desperately needing new clothes. Took in a pair of sweats today just to see if I could do it right- wound up taking in 1 1/2 inches but should have gone for another inch on top of that!
I have no food problems per se, but some days certain things just don't sit right. Like eggs (usually I can eat 1 with monterey jack or colby jack cheese), or sometimes metas; even oatmeal gets me from time to time. Then there are the days I just don't want to eat period. I had these a lot before surgery so it's no big surprise, just a hassle because then I have to either force myself to eat or to drink a protein shake. On those days, everything makes me want to hurl.
I am EXTREMELY sensitive to sugar, but instead of making me physically ill (aside from mild but long lasting nasuea), I FALL ASLEEP. Unbelievable. I made spaghetti and meatballs for my kid, usually the organic brands have less sugar (when I don't have time to make my own). This one had me knocked out within 15 minutes if eating (I looked later and there are 11g of sugars for a whole serving...I confess I don't know how much I actually ATE, but I dished less than 1/4 cup).
My honey's still in Iraq, waiting for word of what happens next. So we continue to wait here and try to go on with life. My daughter is fascinated with my reactions to food, my itty bitty portions and making sure I get my exercise. She's been a trooper.
The holidays were eventful- we went back east to visit family; I found Russel Stover's makes great sugar free candy (thank you Geroganne!) and that I didn't miss all the food as much as I thought I would- although the pumpkin pie was HARD to resist. Thank goodness for Russel Stover.
Anyway ya'll, that about does it for me tonight. My brain seems shut in the permanent off position while my honey's gone and I am waiting for school to start.
Oh yeah- had lost a bunch of hair (thankfully mine started thick so it only looks a little thinner) so I finally switched from OTC to Vista Vitamins- does the taste ever go away? I can't stand the irony-citrus flavor...but I need the viatmins and the Bariatric Advantage ones have a very similar iron/bloody taste (all vitamins that include iron taste like blood to me- ick!!)
Catch ya on the flip side,
look here for general craziness!!
| You scored as Mermaid. Mermaid: Mermaids are also known as Sirens. These creatures were beautiful women who tricked sailors into becoming completely entranced by their haunting voices and found death soon after. Not all stories of Mermaids are about gentle loving sea people. They are mystical, magical, and extremely dangerous. They have a way about them that brings anyone they are around to seem enchanted. They are very mysterious creatures and to meet one... Would mean certain Death. Let the song of the Sea fill your soul, for you are a Mermaid.|
What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!)
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| You scored as Winter. You are WINTER. You're more introspective, thinking deeply, feeling deeply. You love nothing better than to enjoy one on one time with those who are important to you. You are cautious, and sometimes second guess yourself. Dreams, though you have them, are a luxury, because life is not a plaything.|
What Season Are You?
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22 November 2005
Okay, it's been about a month and a half since surgery and I am now (un-officially) 207.5!!!!!!!! WooHoo!
I've already had to go down several sizes in jeans, my shirts are now WAY too big (I used to wear 2 and 3x, now even an XL is big for some reason). Boy do I hope someone gives me gift certificates for Christmas!
My husband has deployed, my kid and I are handling it so far. She likes to help me "exercise", so we do yoga for dummies, and our new activity is Cardio Salsa. OMG this tape is so hard for a klutz like me but it is FUN!!! And she's really good at it, especially for a 5 year old!
Stress and mother nature may have the better of me this week though- not sleeping well, forcing myself to eat what I need to, and been stalled for about a week now. Keep feeling like Aunt Flo's coming, but seems to be just false alarms...damn endometriosis.
Anyway, ya'll be safe this Thanksgiving. Remember when you are enjoying your family, food, and football that there are thousands of brave men and women out there making it possible (not just soldiers, but emts, firefighters, drs, etc).
21 October 2005
Hey ya'll, sorry it's been so long between updates. I had my 2 week post op on Tuesday. My official weight was 227 (my home scale said 225, but who am I to quibble over 2 pounds?) which means since I started this, I've lost about 35 pounds. Yippee!!!
My daughter (5yrs old) noticed this morning: she said "Your tummy keeps getting smaller and smaller every day!" Yep, that's me, the incredible shrinking woman.
What I learned from my first 3 weeks:
I should have stayed home an extra week. JUmping right back into everything was SOOO unbelievable tiring and hard!
Pureed meat looks like dog food but tastes all right. I personally am a texture person, so tis doesn't work well for me anyway.
Black beans pureed with melted cheddar and salsa is awesome, if thin.
Sit ups (even a few) hurt a bit, even after 3 weeks ( I have a pe class where we had to do some this morning)
So that's where I am. I have a lot more energy overall, though I can't use my bi-pap machine anymore because the pressure is set too high now. I need another sleep study to get the pressure adjusted and it's taking forever...
It is too close to November for my liking; I'm not ready to send my hubby back to war, but this is our life and it's what he loves. I know this- I just want to work a major case of denial right now.
Take care everyone, and thanks for all the good wishes!!!!
11 October 2005
Well folks, I'm back. Actually, I've been home since Thursday the 6th. Had my surgery the 4th (oh what a blessed day!!) out at St David's in Austin. I LOVE THEM!!!!!! Let me tell you, I have been in some really good military hospitals, and some really crappy ones. I have been in more crappy civilian hospitals than I can count. But ST David's is by far the best I have ever been in.
Check in was relatively easy. My honey and daughter dropped me off at 8am (he's scared of hospitals so I assigned him the task of taking care of our girl). I was checked in and into a private room within 15 minutes. My nurses were all cheerful, funny, and very nice. They went about their jobs effeciently without being cold....then it was off to the OR. Good music on the radio, lots of people moving things around...I was told what to expect every step of the way, laid down on that obnoxiously thin T table, talked to Dr Faulkenberry for a minute, met Mark my anesth. and the next thing I knew I was waking up. DONE.
The nurse in the recovery ward called my husband as soon as I could speak to give her the number and left him a message (it was about 100, so I knew he'd be at the dentist with sweet little girl). Drifted in and out of sleep for awhile and woke up on the way to my private room in a Medium ICU. This is apparently normal at St David's.
Phyllis was my day nurse- she's a trip! A little powerhouse of dark hair and laughing eyes. Suprised the heck out of her when I wanted to walk a few hours later- didn't get far (just out the door and to the other side of the hall) but I did it. Not much pain medication needed that first day.
Mike was my night nurse and man was he HOT!!! Took a pic of him with my camera phone because I just had to show him to my Auntie. He's young (late 20ish?), tatooed, funny, and sweet. No problems that night except the techs never came to approve my bi-Pap for use...so I stayed on O2 for the night. No big.
Next morning I did my swallow; EEWW That stuff tastes like a really chemical sprite or something! But I got through it without hurling. Bit more pain later in the day- Phyllis yelled at me for walking without taking my meds- threatened to tie me down unless I took something so I did. Then I walked some more after waking up again :-)
Moved to a regular ward at 230am on 6 October- was released later that morning after a shower, some blessed broth and jello and I am loving life.
Haven't taken my vicodin for several days now, can twist to the right (slowly) but not to the left. In 1 week since surgery I've dropped an UNOFFICIAL 14 pounds (I was 240 on the morning of surgery, 226 today). I can see a huge difference in my face and my waist is definately smaller. Pants that were tight two weeks ago are having to be pulled up now. WOW.
Foodwise- I stayed on liquids only until yesterday. Got the okay to try small amounts of very thin purees from my nutritionist because I seem to be tolerating everything fairly well. I actually do about half and half now- prtein shake (about 1/3 of an EAS) in the am, puree or yogurt for lunch, planning on a puree for dinner. Trying to get into the habit of only 3 meals.
Vitamins I am building up to slowly. I can now take 1 in the am, 1 in the evening. I may scooch up to 1 am, 1 mid am and 1 evening in a few days if my body can handle it.
School starts up again tomorrow, so I'll try to be as consistent as I ever am about updating. THANKS to everyone who sent me emails and wishes. I love you all!
2 September 2005
WOO and HOO!!!! I have a date! True, it's not as early as we hoped, but I'll take 4 October over nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and there's still the very unlikely possibility that someone will be bumped or the dr will open a clinic day)
Still haven't heard anything about my bi-Pap though- getting REALLY pissed. And now my bank has decided they want a piece of me too....keep jacking me around with all sorts of charges we didn't make or math errors (it's a BANK for chis-sakes!)trying to tell me we are overdrawn again when I know DAMN well there's at least $200 still in there.
My heart cries for all those people in LA, MS, and AL. I wish I could help, but the best I can do is pray and donate clothes for the kids.
Be safe this weekend.
1 September 2005
Waiting on my surgery date. We'd originally hoped I would be done before the end of August, but my primary dr is being a pain in the a#% about ordering my bi-Pap. Now it's looking like October. GRRRR. This is a problem for a couple of reasons: 1st and most important, my husband is gearing up for a 2nd trip to Iraq. This will be somewhere in the Oct-Dec range. 2nd, I am a student and OCT is usually midterms. Honestly I could care less about school because I know I can make the grades anyway...but the deployment thing has me worried.
Scheduler is trying to convince Dr F to give up one of his clinic days to do my surgery. If nothing else, I'm on the short list if anyone gets bumped due to illness or whatnot. Will have a date either way TOMORRW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
11 August 2005
Never have been a particularly good waiter, especially for something this important. SO I guess I will try my hand at something almost everyone else has done and make a list of things I'll be happy to say "GOODBYE" to and one of things I look forward to doing again!
-sweating the instant I take more than 5 steps (BYE BYE BABY!!)
-constatnly pulling the waistband of my pants just a bit higher to cover the rolls of fat that are falling out (NOW I DO IT TO KEEP MY PANTS ON!)
-getting light headed when I tie my sneakers, or shave, or paint my own toenails, etc (AS LONG AS I DRINK MY H2O I'm GOOD)
-getting choked by the seatbelt if I shift positions (NOT AN ISSUE!)
-taking up half of the bed, literally (IT'S A LITTLE LONELY NOW)
-constatly hearing my stomach grumble and roar for food even though I have eaten no more than 10 minutes prior (UM, MAYBE A GURGLE NOW AND THE)
-having to turn over in the bathtub just to get all of me wet (YOU'LL NEVER SEE THAT AGAIN)
-not knowing what "down there" looks like (so I've no idea if I need to landscape, for lack of better words)- Because of skin this is still a minor problem
-having to shop in Austin or Waco just because that's the only Lane Bryant stores "close by" (CAN'T SHOP THERE ANYMORE BABY)
-being stared at in any restraunt no matter if I am eating or not (UM, I THINK THEY STARE BECAUSE I DISSECT MY FOOD)
-having my daughter constatnly be made fun of because her mommy is fat (HAVEN'T HEARD A THING IN MONTHS! EVEN SHE COMPLIMENTS ME)
-having the same daughter ask me if she is fat too (at age 5) and no, she's not- she's like her daddy, tall and skinny
-feeling like Carnie Wilson in her old Wilson Phillips videos when I am around my sisters who are much smaller and prettier
-crossing my legs without having to pull one of them up with my hand (WOOHOO)
-being able to buy clothes at local stores (YEP, that started in February I think)
-eating just enough and no more (OK, honest, SOMETIMES 1 BITE TOO MUCH)
-playing with my daughter for more than 15 minutes without needing to rest or cool off (SHE GETS TIRED NOW)
-wearing a slinky dress to an Army ball or Unit function instead of a tent
-getting off my Glucophage (SINCE 10/2/05)
-being able to sit on the couch with my honey and our girl and still having room to wiggle
-biking down to Stan Schluter road
-not being tired almost every second of the day (YEAH!)
-Wearing thigh high boots
7 August 2005
currently 248 on home scale (down 12?)
Wow- haven't updated in forever. It's been a busy month. I did all my pre-op tests and I have to say the SLEEP TEST was the worst!!! I am claustrophobic...I admit this. But I figured that the mask for a C-Pap is so small and see through that I shouldn't have a problem, right? WRONG!!!!!!!!!! Apparently I was having incident after incident so Gabriel (my tech) put the mask on me after about an hour. I had to mediate for almost another hour before I was calm enough to fall asleep again...good news though, meditation actually DOES reduce your brain wave patterns to the same level as sleeping...now it's been proven to me! Somehow I woke up even with the mask on and then I started having incidents again, even with the mask on. Apparently unlike most people who stop breathing after a full in and out breath I will breathe in, but not out. Eventually I was switched to a Bi-Pap rythym which would suck the breath out of me...great, except when I woke up and realized I was suffocating because the machine was trying to breath for me.
There has got to be an alternative to that damn mask. Fortunately they didn't send me home with one (though i know I need it- really, I slept a total of 2.5-4 hours and that time made me feel SO much better than the normal 7-9 I get at home without the mask!). Hopefully the situation will get better after WLS, but I don't hold much hope...according to my mom I have been like this most of my life.
Had hoped to see the Dr soon after all my test and consults were done but luck is not with me. Have to wait until 30 August. There goes my hope of having this done before I turn 30 (7 Sept). Still, am doing my pre-op diet just in case (Atkins- 70g prtein, 30g carbs per day). Not good for long term, but the nutritionist said it wouldn't hurt to be on it for 3-4 weeks. Slightly nauseated though.....Don't know if that's nerves or a reaction to all the protein (animal proteins make me sick to my stomache)
My kiddo will be back in school on 15 Aust, my Honey will be back to war in the next few months. If you pray, please say one for all our men and women to be safe and come home soon. I don't care what your politics are- they're still out there for you.
Count your blessings every breath,
2 July 2005
Still haven't heard anything...but then again, it's only been shy of 2 weeks....never was particularly patient when it comes to something I want!
Threat of deployment has done some good around here though- my honey's finally putting up the shed in the backyard, the playroom is almost completely painted (that's my job) and the kiddo's not been screaming that she's bored every other second- but that might have something to do with the fact that I keep mentioning housework when she says it! I know- cruelty to a 5 year old.
21 June 2005
NERVOUS!!!! Have my 1st appointment with Dr. Faulkenberry today. I don't know why I am so nervouse, it's just like a regular doc appt right? A little daunted by the fact that the receptionist says there is another 20 minutes worth of paperwork (on top of the HUGE packet I've already done!)
My daughter is really looking forward to me doing this. She wants her "fun" mommy back. I think she is probably one of the biggest reasons I am so determined to see this through. When I envisioned having kids I thought I would be able to play, run around, and have fun with them. Instead I find myself always tired, sore, and frustrated from joint pain, PCOS and endometriosis. I can play for short amounts of time, but have you ever tried to keep up with a 5 year old when you're lugging around over 120 lbs of extra weight (closer to 140 extra if I aim for 120lbs)? Wait a minute- you guys probably know exactly what I'm talking about.
My husband is supportive but worried. He is phobic about doctors and hospitals. Still, I think the biggest problem for him is that I don't see myself the way he does. I know that he loves me and the way I look. This man has known me almost all my life (we met as h.s sophmores). He knew me when I was just starting to gain weight (I was about 140)and has stuck by me through everything. But I wonder if he is deaf to the comments his "friends" (and their wives!!!!)make? Or is it that they are smart enough not to say them is his earshot but don't care if I hear? After all, everyone knows fat girls don't have feelings!
I think it's a little worse because we are an Army family. The military is extremely weight-concious (with reason, I guess). I grew up as an Air Force brat, so I'm used to the lifestyle, but now I feel I am an embarssment to our unit, to the Army, and to our country. I know this makes me sound like I have an over-inflated ego, but I can't think of any other way to say what I mean. Please don't think I believe the whole world looks at me or even really cares who I am.
When I was growing up I started out honestly not caring what anyone else thought of me (except my dad). When I hit junior high I had NO friends (we were only in town about 4 months before school started) and everyone was this perfect California ideal. I really think that's when I started caring about what people said. By the end of jr high I was stoned, drunk or high all the time; my friends were the outcasts who of course didn't judge me because they were all on the outside for some reason or another themselves. Cleaned up my act in the summer before high school and went in as a very straight laced 14 year old. Little did I know that having a D cup at 14 automatically branded you as fat and a slut. It went downhill from there.
Flash forward about six years and the situation is similar as an Army wife. it's really not that hard to fathom as most enlisted soldiers are fresh out of hish school and so are their wives. I keep to myself, raise my daughter to be polite but honest, to speak her mind when it's appropriate and respect everyone until they do something to warrant losing that respect. I teach her to eat right (very little candy- she actually doesn't like anything other that lollipops and jellybeans, lots of fruits and veggies, and lean meat- but like most kids she wants chicken nuggets all the time). Imagine my horro then when she asked her doc at a 5 year checkup if she was too fat! I thought she might have learned it from me (I try very hard not to be critical of myself in her hearing) but it turns out some of her "friends" at school have been calling her fat!!!!!!!!!!!!! At 5????!!!!!! Fortunatley the doc was all over this. She's almost 4 feet tall and only 40 pounds so she's not fat at all- he told her that people who say things like that aren't her friends and that he would let her know if she ever needed to change what she was eating or doing for exercise.
Sorry- went off on a rant. Nerves. Anyway, I'd better eat some lunch befre I go because I've no idea how long this will take or even if I'll be seen on time......
Love and luck to you all,
I have, like most people, tried everything, even illegal drugs. At one point I was between 135-175 and okay with it, but wehen I turned 15 and went on and off the pill my body rebelled. I ballooned 60 pounds in like 3 months and it only platued at around 200. At 18 I started on anti-depressants, the pounds started piling up and kept coming no matter what I did.
2 Years ago I was finally diagnosed with Insulin-Impaired Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. My body sees everything as sugar and will not process it correctly. It's impossible to lose weight now. I'm currently on a diabetic diet and 1500mg of Glucophage just to keep me holding steady at 260.
After 8 years of considering the ptions and pouring blood, sweat and tears into trying to lose the weight, I am ready to say I can't do this without extreme help.
I love Dr. F! I know he's not the warmest person in the world, but he gives it to me straight, he has a sense of humor and he honestly seems to care about how I am and what is going on in my life.
Given the choice to do it again, I would- IF I could have the same Doc, the same hospital, and the same Nurses!!!