Hello, my name is Brandy. I am a 30 year old mother to a crazy green eyed 4 year old girl and a wife to a hot guy who I have been with for almost 13 years. I am a hairstylist and I love my job and I really do love my life. I have been overweight for most of my life but never considered my self to be obese. (that seems like such a yucky word) Up until 6 years ago I never excercised, or cared what I ate. Since then I have tried several different diets and pills and asking for physicians help only to be told to diet and excercise more. (I actually had a pcp tell me I needed to start running...a 300+lb. girl running? oh my!) I went to a nutritionist for almost a year and in all honesty that was the absolute BEST I have ever eaten in my life. I was working out 4 times a week (with a trainer) and trying as hard as I could to lose weight and in 11 mos. I lost a mere 38lbs. (I suppose that is better than GAINING 38lbs) Anyways, soon after losing my 38 lbs I got pregnant. (guess I looked better than I thought... haha) Anyways, my weight was pretty stable during my pregnancy I tried not to gain too much being that I was already very overweight. I had severe hypertention while I was pregnant and I was put on bed rest. I gave birth to my beautiful daughter and I lost some weight and my blood pressure went down. Unfortunately I have been putting on weight again for the last 2 years. I am so unhappy about this. This is really the only part of my life that i just can't seem to make better. I have thought about weight loss surgery for the last 3 years or so, but I just kept trying lose it myself and I kept thinking and hoping it wouldn't take such drastic measures. So now here I am. I am I guess accepting that I can't do it myself. (whew! why is that so hard to admit for me?!?!) So now, I begin the process or journey or adventure whatever you want to call it. Keeping my fingers crossed!
2-25-05
Went to my PCP to find out about getting a referral to have WLS surgery. I was very nervous that he would suggest a medication or another diet or that he might even try to discourage me and talk me out of it. But to my surprise he seemed to be supportive. He unfortunately doesn't know of any surgeons to refer me to. He said that he had only had 1 patient who has had WLS and he didn't know who they went to. So, he suggested that we research through Pacificare and see where that leads us as well as ask the few people who I know who have had WLS. After leaving the PCP I went to see a friend that had surgery about 3 years ago and she told me of her surgeon and another that she knew of. I told her that my PCP gave me Dr. Juarez' name and she said that she orignally had met with him but she didn't like his "bedside manner" But she did say that he was very well known and a very experienced surgeon. She also added that she wanted someone who was more "warm and fuzzy" as she put it.
After that conversation I raced home and hopped on the phone to find out if either of the dr.'s she referred me to would work with my insurance and neither do. I then was referred to a couple more surgeons only to find out that my insurance will not cover them either. So it looks like if I am going through with this I will need to go to Dr. Juarez. I don't think I need my doctor to be "warm and fuzzy" that's what friends are for.
2-28-05
Been on the phone for a few hours today trying to get some appointments scheduled and this ball moving. I have so far scheduled my seminar, and my surgeon consultation. I will be anxiously waiting my packet in the mail!
3-7-05
Got my packet in the mail on Saturday looked through it and thought "holy cow" there is a lot of stuff in here. But then I thought well I wouldn't want it any other way. On the phone again and now I have scheduled my Psych eval, my Psych consult, my girl exam appointment (I know that isn't in the packet but I needed to make that anyways so I can get my records)
3-16-05
Whew! busy week. On top of working I have requested and picked up medical records from 3 Doctors only 2 to go. I took my Psych eval on Friday. My head hurt after it was over. There were some weird questions on there. I was expecting things like "if you were a crayon what color would you be?" but instead I get, "I would rather enjoy the duties of a forest ranger" true or false? huh? things I had never thought of being Psych related. I also went to my Ob/Gyn annual exam and he was SOOO supportive in my decision to have surgery. I LOVE HIM! (not really my type.. haha... but the nicest guy ever!) as I talked to him about my decision to have WLS he put his hand on mine and he said that he really thinks that I have made a good decision and he wishes me the best and he would be happy to write me a support letter to my insurance/surgeon. YAY! I am so happy that he is supportive. He is my absolute favorite Doctor that I have ever had. I am happy!
3-22-05
So, on Friday I went to a seminar held at St. Lukes hospital. It was informative, however, I was surprised that the people there had so many questions that seemed to be basic type questions. Not to be too full of myself but I seem to be WAY better informed than just about everyone in there. I guess it's because I have been a little obsessed with researching this whole thing. But I think that everyone should be completely informed before going through with this surgery. I am glad I went though I had a couple of questions that the doctor spoke about so I had my questions answered.
Last night (monday) I went to my psych 1 hour consult. I am happy to say that the Doctor said that I am actually very well rounded and normal. THAT IS FUNNY! I do need to take some behavior modification classes (which I totally knew I needed to take.. so no arguements from me) but as soon as I finish those she said she will send my file and recommend me for surgery. She said I am a perfect candidate. YAY!
3-25-05
I just got home from my consultation appointment. I like Dr. Jaurez. Some people's description had me a bit nervous. But I like him. He answered my questions and told me that I am a better candidate for RNY than for the belt. I am fine with that. He said I would probably need to do a cardiac test. And he said that as soon as I finish with my behavior modification therapy they will send in my paperwork. I asked him how long, if I were to finish my behavior mod. in mid May, would it be till I have surgery if I am approved? And he said probably in June. YAY! I am keeping my fingers crossed that everything is smooth sailing and it happens that soon.
4-16-05
I started my behavior modification on March 31st. The psychologist said it would be about 4-6 sessions, but the therapist says that I should be fine with 4. I have really learned alot about myself and my bad habits since I started with her. I am glad that the sessions were recommended to me but I hope I will be able to stick with the things that I am learning... I suppose after surgery I really won't have much of a choice. So, now I should finish my last one of those on this coming up Tuesday (the 19th) and then I have my first "ABC" class on Tuesday night as well.
My surgeon's office called me this week and said that they just were waiting for one page with all my weigh-ins from my PCP and she wanted to see where I was with the behavior mod. She said that all my paperwork seemed to be in place and we were just waiting for those things to be released. I am getting very anxious/excited/nervous to find out when/if I will be approved. I wonder how soon I will find out!??! ooh. I get butterflies just thinking that I should know "nay or yay" with in 2 weeks or so! wow!
5-4-05
I fininshed my behavior mod therapy on the 19th of April. The therapist I was going to told me that she would get my paperwork all done by the end of the week and get it over to the psychologist's(Dr. Maxwell)office and then I figured my paper work would then be sent to the surgeons maybe by the following end of the week. I called the surgeons office yesterday to find out if my paperwork had been sent to the insurance company yet. Unfortunately, the surgeons office still hasn't recieved my sign off from Dr.Maxwell. I called both the therapist as well as the psychologist office to find out what phase we are out i.e. who has my stuff and who is holding us up... and no one has gotten back to me. BUMMER! more waiting.
Also, I went to my first ABC class on the 19th. It was a good motivating class I am looking forward to the one on May 17th.
5-10-05
A little update. Well, I have been trying to with ever so patiently regarding getting my paperwork to the surgeons office. I tried calling the surgeons office last week to make sure they have received everything that they needed. It took them a couple of days but I finally got a call I think on Wednesday? Anyways, unfortunately they said that they hadn't received my sign off from the psychologist and they asked me if I had completed my behavior mod.... I said, "YES! I finished it almost 3 weeks ago!" She said that she hadn't received anything yet and that maybe I should call both the behavior modification counselor and the psychologists office to see what the hold up is. So I did and it took until Friday for anyone to call me back! GRRRR! anyways, I got a phone call from first the counselors and she said that she had just sent out (via fax) my paperwork) and about 15 minutes later I got a phone call from the psychologists office to let me know that they had gotten the fax and Dr. Maxwell had signed off and she got it to the surgeons office. So now begins the nail biting.
5-18-05
OH MY GOODNESS! ANGELIA JUST CALLED ME FROM DR. JAUREZ'S OFFICE... I AM APPROVED!!!! YAY! I should be getting a call in the next week to let me know what my date is! I am so excited!!! yay!!!
5-20-05
I HAVE A DATE!!! I just checked my mailbox and I received a letter from Dr. Jaurez's office!!! MY SURGERY DATE IS JULY 8th!!! HOOOOOOORRRRRAAAAAAYYYYY!!! I am so excited! yay!
6-11-05 I can't believe that surgery is only 4 weeks away. I feel a little schitzophrenic being that on one hand I can't wait and I am so excited and wish it was here tomorrow.. but then i get a little nervous and just think that I am not ready for such a big change. But I know I am really it's just nerves. I have one more week before I have to go through my "testing week" I am not looking forward to any of that stuff. I am going to my first "support meeting" today. I am actually looking forward to it and I hope that I can maybe meet a couple of new friends there. We'll see.
6-25-05 This week has been a little hectic. On Tuesday I had to work in the morning, then go to the cardiologist, and then to my final ABC class at St. Lukes. I worked all day on Wednesday. And on Thursday I had my pre-admit testing day. That was a long day! I got to St. Lukes at a little past 9, went up to Dr. Juarez's office to drop off some paperwork for FMLA. Then I went back down to the admitting desk and immediately was greeted and started on paperwork. I was then asked to go pee in a cup..but as I came into the admitting office I had already stopped by for a quick potty break. I told this to the nurse...but she said she just needed a couple of drops and if I couldn't she would have to do a cathytyr...NO THANKS! So, I politely obliged and literally gave her a couple of drops did a few blood drawls and Then I went back to the admitting nurse and was given a long "pep talk" and was told what to expect and what to do if...and I was sent on my way to the lung/pulmonary people. I, at this part am absolutely FAMISHED! I had to fast from the night before. Anyways, I was told to wait in the waiting area...so I did. And a lady came and got me and immediately I did not like her. She took me into her little chamber of pain and told me she was going to test my blood/oxygen level. And she took a BIG needle and poked it into my inner wrist and dug around. I immediately gasped and tears came pouring out of my eyes! (I would like to add for anyone who reads this that I am NOT a wussy girl, I have tattoos, body piercings, and I had a baby with NO epideral, blood draws to NOT even phase me....THIS F&^$%*&^% HURT!! BAD!!!!) Anyways, the lady mumbled some sort of vague unsympathetic apology but I HOLD REALLY GOOD GRUDGES!!!! Then she fumbled around for what seemed like a silent eternity with some little video game type instrument. She then went out of the room for a few minutes to only come back with the same little video game and she messed with it for a while longer. So, this little video game thingy I had to blow in quite a few times until it made me very dizzy and lightheaded...don't know what for. Then, I had to practice with a spirometer. That was pretty uneventful. *note: 2 days later my wrist is VERY bruised and has a marble sized knot in the puncture area!* After my spirometer practice she looked at my paperwork and said, "oh good, you have already had an EKG...that means I am done with you" so, I got to leave her chamber of torture and mosey on down to the x-ray department. I then had a series of ultrasounds on my abdomen. Much easier and relaxing than the chamber of torture experience. Then after my ultrasounds I was sent into a little dressing room to change out of my street clothes and into a HOT hospital gown (JOKING!) and I waited...and read...and waited...and read...and then I poked my head out and the guy I now know as "Brad" told me he was just coming to get me (I bet he says that to everyone) so, he took me into the x-ray room and did some "pictures". and then helped me up on the table and i had to do a "shot" of some crystals and drank some barium stuff.(it is not as bad as everyone had told me...it takes like a chalky tums type of drink..you just have to drink ALOT of it) and Brad warned me like 15-20 times NOT TO BURP. I didn't. Brad took a bunch more pictures of my abdomen. Then, he brought in a Doctor who sounded like Bela Lugosi in to watch me drink some more while my tummy was on the "fancy t.v." he said that I was perfect and that I could go home. YAY! So, upon leaving my new friend Brad told me that the next time he sees me I would be on a magazine cover... I told him that he was wrong... I WILL BE THE CENTERFOLD! haha. I left at exactly 2:00. Came home, ate and broke my tooth, went to work! jeez..can't a girl get a break! :)
7-7-05
DAY BEFORE SURGERY! I can't believe tomorrow is surgery. Yesterday at work my co-workers/friends/extended family threw me a "junk food potluck" it was fun but I really don't want anymore junk or sugar for a while! that's good considering I CAN'T!!! haha. Anyways, some thoughts before the big day...I am not nervous. I always have nervous energy...but I am truly not nervous. I will be a mess tomorrow telling my 4 year old "goodbye" when I take her to her preschool but really that's it. I am actually more worried about not working for almost 3 weeks than I am about being operated on. What a weirdo huh?!!? I just truly feel like everything else has just easily fallen into place with this whole process that I really shouldn't be worried or nervous. So, that being said, the next time I add to my profile I will be a BIG LOSER and a sexy bitch! haha. :)
7-11-05
I am now post-op. 3 days to be exact. I got discharged from the hospital yesterday at 11. My abdomen is soooo sore! It's pretty swollen too. :( I am up walking around without any problems. And I am trying to take in enough calories and stuff...but with such small portions I can now see how this is going to be a challenge. So far though, my little protein shakes and puddings and stuff taste pretty yummy. I don't feel hungry at ALL. It is a weird feeling. I am very happy that I have had surgery and I look forward to getting healed and starting to lose this weight. I stood on my cheap little scale this morning just for kicks... I am not really believing it yet for some reason but it looks like, if I am not mistaken I have already lost 5lbs. We'll see. I will give an exact post of weight lost when I go to the surgeons office next week for my follow up.
7-24-05
I am now 2 weeks and 2 days post op. I feel GREAT! I am so happy and lucky that I have done so well. I have no nausea, I can eat anything on my list, I am not tired, I have energy. I went to my surgeons office on Tuesday ( a few days ago ) for my 1st post op appt. and I had lost 17 lbs in 11 days! YAY! I am trying REALLY hard not to stand on the scale every single day but it is really hard) Right now, when I stand on my scale it teeters back and forth and I think that I have now lost about 21 lbs. It's hard when you have a cheap, crappy scale. I decided to go by the scale at the gym and to use that scale as my "official" weighing scale and to maybe only weigh in 2 times a week. We'll see how I do with that. lol. Anyways, I started back to the gym on Tuesday and I just did some walking on the treadmill. I felt pretty good but I was a little apprehensive to go crazy in case I over did it. But Dr. Fang (Dr. Juarez was still in surgery) said that I am cleared to do everything I want to do now. So, on Wednesday I walked a little over a mile on the treadmill. It felt good. I am proud of myself for doing the whole mile and not bailing out early. I am pretty determined to excercise because I really am hoping my skin isn't a mess after I get to goal. Also, at my Dr. appt. I asked Dr. Fang what my goal was and he told me that he wants to see me get under 200 and then he would say that I met my goal. I have set my personal goal to be 175. I feel that is a good weight for me to weigh. It's probably around what I weighed in highschool. So, I guess if and when I get there I can reasess the situation. I can't even fathom getting under 250 not to mention being 175...that will just be so kick ass! I am starting to see my clothes getting a little baggy, and everyone keeps telling me that I have lost weight in my face....WHY DO I HAVE TO LOSE IT IN MY FACE?????? WHY NOT MY ASS???!!!! oh well, it'll come.
8-10-05
Well, today I am 1 month and 2 days post op. I feel great. I have no complaints. I have lost 32lbs and 29.75 inches. I am so glad that I had this surgery. And last week I got to do a little bit of clothes shopping. My work shirts were falling off of me. My pants are just a little lose (again baby got back!) but my shirts just looked sloppy. I went down a size or 2 in shirts. It's been a good month. And the other night I dropped my blanket off of the bed and without thinking I sat straight up and picked the blanket off the floor and when my head hit the pillow again I thought, "oh my gosh I just sat up with no pain!!" so it took exactly 1 month for my abdomen to not hurt anymore. YAY!
9-29-05
wow! how time flies. Well, I am doing great. I have absolutely no complaints regarding having surgery. I can eat just about anything I want (except for sugar...unless I am constipated I really try to avoid sugar) I am faithfully excercising at LEAST 3 days a week. My clothes are all too big...I started out in bottoms that were tight 28's and now I am wearing right around a size 24. That being said, today I have on a pair of 20's but I SWEAR the tag is wrong...lol. Seriously though, I am wearing about a 22/24 in pants. And my shirts started out at a 26 or a 3x and now I can wear a 18/20 or a XXL in old navy stuff. I am really REALLY REALLY enjoying buying clothes. I have been told over and over to NOT pay full price for clothes but I CAN'T HELP MYSELF!!! I blew all kinds of money in the last couple of weeks on clothes....i even had to buy new underwear. My old underwear I could pull up so high that they looked like a one piece swimming suit HAHA! But I am truly happy. I kinda think that I should be losing a little faster but at the same time I am extremely happy with my -48.6 lbs in 12 weeks. I had set a goal for myself that I wanted to be down 60 lbs by the time i went to New Orleans with my salon in a couple of weeks (not going now due to the hurricane and flooding) and it looks like I will be close to my goal but not quite there. Actually, I said 60 just to round up.....but to be honest my real goal was that i wanted to be under 300 by my trip which was set for October 13th...so i have 2 weeks to lose 10 more pounds and I will reach my personal short term goal....although I am not going on my trip I am still going to try to get there. I will report back to see if I succeeded or not.
7-08-05 ·~· SURGERY DAY ·~· weight..357.6
11 day post op appt............341 -17lbs
1 month post op.................325 -32lbs inches lost 29.75
7 week post op appt............319 -38.6lbs
9 week(2 month) post op......312 -45.6lbs inches lost 42.75
9-30-05 12 week post op......309 -49 lbs inches lost 52.75
10-08-05 (3 month) post op....298.5-59.1lbs
11-05-05 4 month post op.....288.5 -69lbs
11-30-05 check up at surgeons...277 -80lbs
1-3-05 (6 month) post op.....262 -95.6 lbs inches lost 89!!!!!
1-17-06 (6mos & 9 days post op) I HAVE LOST 100lbs!!!! YIPPEEE!
2-14-06 (7mos & 6 days post op) -106lbs & 99.25 inches lost
5-05-06 (almost 10 mos post up) -121lbs & 103.25 inches lost
10-08-05
I am officially 3 months out and I am now under 300!!! I am so happy...I reached my first short term goal!!! YAY! I feel great. A total WOW moment for me....I painted my daughters room this weekend and I could get up and down off of the step stool and get down on the ground without being winded and without a total struggle. I am sore from bending over and reaching up but NOTHING like I would have been pre-op. I am so happy I had this surgery. And I am so happy to be under 300 for the first time in YEARS!!!!
11-30-05
I am now almost 5 months post op. I went to the surgeons office yesterday for my checkup and the results all my blood tests were just perfect! Dr. Juarez said that I am doing great both on my weigh loss as well as my vitamins and stuff. Physically, I am feeling just great. I am way more flexible and my knees and my ankles and my feet don't hurt anymore! I can get down on the floor and get back up again without it being a 10 minute ordeal...Yippee! who would have thought that would have been a big deal?? I am a clothes buying freak though! I can't quit buying clothes! It is quite ridiculous as I am only about 3 sizes down but it's like I have changed one habit for another (food traded for shopping!)My husband has been quite complimentary lately...ahhh! He says little things here and there...he is not a big comlimentary kind of guy so I know I must be looking quite HOT for him to actually say something. I will take it!
11-30-05
A funny little story. I have a 4 year old daughter. She is quite possibly the sweetest little girl that you cold ever meet. Anyways, about a week or so ago I got out of the shower and I was wearing a clippie in my hair and I had no makeup on. I was dressed in a tank top and some jeans. I came out of my bathroom to put my jewelry on and about that time she walked into my bedroom and stared at me for a second and she all of a sudden exclaimed, "MAMA!!!!....YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!! (she could and should have stopped there) YOU AREN'T FAT ANYMORE!" oh how those words stung and a part of me wanted to choke her and a part of me wanted to cry and a part of me wanted to hug her. But I looked at her face and she was so proud and so happy and she so sincerely meant what she had said as the biggest compliment she could have ever given to me. So, I smiled (with tears in my eyes) and I said "thank you baby."
1-3-05
Happy New Year! Well I am back off the wagon or back on the wagon...whatever! Back to the gym and eating what i am supposed to be eating. I had a great X-mas and a great New Year's Eve! I had a house full of people for the last couple of weeks it seems and I was sick with respiratory infections/colds/bronchitis etc for what seems like the entire month of December. So, I am happy to feeling back to my normal ornery self again. I am down 95 lbs as of New Years Day. I was wanting to be down a 100 but I am only 5 lbs from my little mini goal. I am not too disappointed though. I feel great and everyone says I am looking great so I am satisfied. And even though I didn't lose a lot of weight last month....HOLY COW I still managed to lose lots of inches for now a grand total of 89 inches gone! My husband and I talked about my boobs and that I want some new and improved ones so I am thinking that I am going to look into it and plan on them around next September. We'll see. /B>
2-14-06
Today is Valentine's Day. I have had a really crappy weekend. I got my wisdom teeth pulled on Thursday and I was either in pain or in "la-la land" the rest of the weekend. I had gained like 4 lbs due to the medications I was on...however, I am happy to say that those 4 lbs are gone again. I am now down 106 lbs. I want to lose at least another 60 and then I will reassess the situation. I feel great (other than my mouth hurting still) I am wearing a size 20 jeans or 18 dress slacks. And I picked up some new shirts from Old Navy and I bought regular old XL!!! no XXL or XXXL or 1X or 2X or 3X....just plain old XL....in the regular sized clothing. what a happy moment! my daughter and I were up at my salon yesterday and one of my co-workers was cutting this guys hair who had asked me the last time I saw him how I had lost so much weight...and my daughter looked up at me and said, "my mommy keeps getting smaller and smaller...she is excercising and she is getting smaller and smaller" it was very cute! love that girl.
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5-05-06
Holy Cow I haven't updated in a while! Well, what can I say, life has been busy. I am feeling great (other than i have a cold this week) I have now lost 121 lbs! I am wearing a size 18 pants and a 14 shirt (baby still got back!) the weight loss has definately slowed down. But I am still losing. I just got back from California the day before yesterday. We went to SanDiego for a few days then up to the Anaheim area. We did 4 parks an my legs and feet and knees weren't killing me at all! AMAZING what losing over a hundred pounds will do for ya!
On another note, I got incredibly sad looking at some old pictures of myself when I was in California. Instead of being happy at what I have accomplished I felt sad for the girl in the pictures. I don't even look the same. I can't believe that I was that big. It makes me angry with myself. I can't explain it. I tried to talk to a couple of people about it but they say I should just be happy about now instead of sad or angry about the past. I think so too but I still have these feelings that I can't make go away.
I am hoping to be able to go Hawaii in August and I was also hoping to get under 200 by the time I go to Hawaii. Currently I am weighing in at 236. It doesn't look like I will make it by August which is a bit disappointing but I am still going to try!
November 3, 2006
I am a bad journaler. Everything is good. I am now down to 213. I really want to get under 200 but the weight loss has all but stopped. And you know what, I am actually o.k. with it. I get compliments all the time. Tuesday (Halloween) was my 10 year wedding anniversary. We had a big Halloween party and we dressed up as Morticia, Gomez and Wednesday Addams. My dress was TIGHT! and all night long everyone was telling me how great my ass looked in my dress. All that working out payed off! I feel great (other than I have a cold) I have an appointment for my breastlift and implants and my arm lift. I am scheduled for December 28th. I am very nervous and very excited at the same time! Life is good. I have no complaints...that is probably why I haven't journaled in so long. I will try to be better.
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