ObesityHelp

7/20/03 6 days post op. I drove my car today to go buy some food for work. cannot wait to go to work. I feel great a little sore but good. Dr said he could not have had the surgery go any better. I walked around the store and felt good to know my journey has just begun. I will update this site once a week.

7/27/03 Well its going on two weeks tomorrow. I FEEL GREAT. I only missed work for 1 week. Everyone could not believe I was back at work so soon. I have no problem driving or really anything. I am a little sore but nothing I cant work through. On wednesday I weighed myself and i was down 25 lbs. WOW I AM ACTUALLY A LOSER. I get my staples out on Teuday and I will start exercising as long as Dr gives his ok. My thoughts right now are anyone who is thinking of doing this.....SHOULD. I have not hit one bump in the road yet. (KNOCK ON WOOD). Every once in a while I get mental hungry but it goes away. I am still on pureed food and will be for one more week. I have been thinking of setting up goals for weight loss but I have no idea how fast it will come off. I am a really FAT guy so I hope fast. I am going to Florida in December the day after Christmas and I hope to be down 150 lbs. Boy would that be nice. I would still weigh around 400 lbs but I would be carrying two 75lb bags of salt on my back less. Well I want to take it day by day and no be dissappointed. I will return here soon. Hopefully a bigger loser than I am now.

7/31 WOW I got my staples taken out a few days ago and as of 7/29 I am down 40 LBS. I feel pretty good although I am mentally hungry. Its kinda hard to deal with and it dosnt help that I am still eating baby food. Its at the point that I cant stand the thought of eating another carrot from baby food. I feel a bit tired also. In a few days I will start on some solid food. Its kinda weird too that I really do not notice the weight loss. My clothes are not hanging off me yet. My shirts are a little big but my pants are still fine. People at work are kinda noticing. They see it in my face they say. I still say I would do it again in a heartbeat though. I feel as if I have been waiting for this my whole life and its finally coming true.

8/8/03 Just got off the scale and I have lost a total of 50lbs. I am feeling good except the fact that I am tired. When I first got out of the hospital I had more energy than I do now. I want to join a Gym but I am afraid I wont use it. I want to exercise I think that might help me with the energy boost I need. I am noticing the loss of weight in my clothes now although I still am wearing the same pants size I did when I went into the hospital. They are loose but nothing crazy yet. I am itching to do things that I have never been able to do. well one month is almost up its amazing to know that on the 14th of August I will have lost close to 60 lbs. ***WOW*** Be back in a week for update.


8/10 could not wait to write. I woke up this morning and started going through my wardrobe. I am down 4 sizes in pants and two sizes in shirts. I started off barely fitting into a size 68 and comfortably in a 7x shirt. This morning I am easily into a size 64 pants and 5x shirt I put on a 4x and I fit but it was a little tight. I could easily get away with it but for now I will say I am in a 5x. Its funny I made a draw of clothes that will fit me in about a month and another draw for two months. At least I do not have to spend money on clothes right now. I have shirts down to 2x and some pants around 58. Then I will start to have to buy. This is truley a great feeling. I remember when I was around 20 I dieted and weighed right around 300 but I was in a size 44 shorts that summer. Thats where I want to be. I want to walk in ANY Store and be able to buy anything. Some people make a list of things they want to be able to do when they lose weight and cross them off as they go. Here is mine:

1....go to bathroom without sitting on toilet ...done 1/8/04
2....Have normal
3....walk in store buy anything off wrack (KMART JACKET 12/5/03)
4....not have people stare at me
5....walk around mall without breaking a sweat. 12/5/03
6....be able to go to restaurant without worrying if I can fit in the seat 2/14/04
7....Be able to wear shorts
8....have wife hug me and feel it
9....have kids not be ashamed of me.
10...ride a bike again ....stationary 2/6/04
11...Play Golf again. 4/22/04
12...not break the seats or sofa in my house
13...be able to get on the ground and know I can get up 3/1/04
14...go camping
15...ride a jet ski
16...ride a snowmobile
17...go to beach 4/7/04
18...walk up the stairs and not be out of breath 1/16/04
19...walk up stairs normally and not one at a time. 1/16/04
20...go to a movie (cant fit in seat)2/8/04 still tight
21...LOVE LIFE AGAIN
22...get on an airplane 6/24/04
23...get on a roller coaster
24...walk through a turnstile and fit 4/7/04
25...tie my shoes while bending down. 11/09/03
26...be able to get into the pool in my backyard that we have for 2 years now. 8/8/03
27...play paintball
28...go jogging
29...go to a waterpark
30...play catch with my son
31...fit on my riding tractor to mow the grass.
32...fit into my shower without hitting both sides. 11/6/03
33...go to a gym
34...Play tennis
35...Go on moving truck (I OWN CO DO NOT GO ON TRUCKS)
36...Buy suite off wrack
37...fit in car (Actually moved seat up today..11/30/03)
38...Play tag with daughter and not feel like dieing 2/13/04***






8/14 1 MONTH 52 lbs and counting. Feel great starting to look ok. Trying to take in as much protein as I can. I am drinking a great deal of milk. I have not started exercising yet. I am happy with the weight loss but in the last week it seems as if it is slowing down. When I first had surgey I would have jumped for joy knowing I would lose 50 lbs now I want to lose 100 then 150 :)


9/1 WOW!!! 70lbs and counting. I am two weeks away from two months Post op. I feel better than I have in years. The transformation of the diet seems 2nd nature now. I really have adjusted well to it. Its amazing when you set your mind to something like this you dont have a choice but to follow through with it. In other diets I always went off it was so easy to cheat. I would tell myself I would make it up the next day. In this diet there is no cheating. I have NO CRAVINGS AT ALL. I have set the goal of 150 lbs by December 26th. My family and I are going on a cruise on April 10th I want to be down 200Lbs by then. I dont know what my final weight I want to be but i figure if I do it in stages its better off. I think if I were to be around 250 I would look ok. till next time see ya

9/8 78 lbs down forever!!!!! I started to walk around a track yesterday and when I woke up this morning I felt great. I feel good but its weird. If I stop and think about how I feel I know I feel better than two months ago. But I am not really noticing until I actually think about it. Then I know I feel lighter on my feet. People around my office are noticing more and more. My salesman asked me if I am losing weight he said Where is your stomach going. I gotta admit it made my day.

10/1 WOW GEES HURRAY YIPPIE :) DOWN 98 Lbs. HOLY CRAP This is amazing. I am really starting to feel great. I am walking so much easier I am down 8 pants sizes and still right at 4 shirt sizes. Its funny last night my 4 year old tried Walking up me. It has been a thing with my other kids too. I would hold there hands and they would begin to climb up my stomach. Finally since my belly was so big they would stand on it. Well last night she could no longer do it. My platform is gone. I thought to my self maybe I made a mistake. HA HA YA right.....She was mad that she could no longer climb up me but oh well. I would not trade this weight loss for ANYTHING. Well folks all I can see is I see NO DOWN SIDE TO THIS AT ALL. I go to restaurants and before I would order the most expensive thing because in my head I would think thats the most food. Now I just order. Its great to have a few scallops lobster whatever and feel full. Till next time


11/1 well its next time ...down 120 lbs. FEEL GOOD. I am down to a size 60 in pants. Down to gees that still pittiful. When I turn into the 40's then I will be excited. I feel as if weight loss has been slowing down. I am kinda stuck for this month even though it is about 5 lbs a week if I figure 52 weeks its great. Ya I guess I cant expect it any faster. Its just that in the start of weight loss it was great. 10 lbs here 15 there. I am spoiled. If I keep at this pace it would be great. I still have this goal of 150 lbs by christmas. 7 weeks left that would be 35 lbs would put me at 155 lbs. I HOPE I dont want to miss my first goal. I wish I could snap my finger and presto down 350 lbs but ya know what this surgery was the next best thing....What a weight loss tool....man what a tool.


11/21 I am back. I am down 130lbs and am starting to feel the hunger a little more. I kinda slowed down for a while but then I asked a few people and they told me to start downing more water or liquid. I did. Its amazing the more I drink the more I am losing. Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I hope I will get through it but I am starting to think it might get a little bit hard. I hope to keep this pace up of weight loss. I do feel great. Much more energy and much more breath when doing things. I do not feel run down like I did and when I go to bed most nights I lay there not really wanting to go to bed.


12/14 Today is 5 months & 145 lbs. I have 5 to go to make first goal of 150 by christmas. I bought some clothes out of this fat people magazine that I always (last 10 years) bought from. Usually I would order from there and cut my size so close that I could barely get into it. After wearing pants for about a week I would stretch the fabrick out so it would be ok to wear. NOT THIS TIME. I got some clothes that were 12 sizes smaller than what I started out at. Up till now I have had clothes to bring me down from going up. THE pants I bought WERE TOO BIG.. HAHA
I have to keep them because I am going away in 10 days and am afraid I wont get more by then. ITS FREAKIN GREAT usually I waste money by buying clothes I convince myself I will get into now I wasted money on clothes too BIG...WOOO HOOO Best money ever wasted. I have an extra step in my walk too. I am really feeling good now. I still have LONG LONG way to go but I will do it. I look at myself in the mirror and am so discusted the way I look. I CANT imagine being 150 heavier. Its weird. I want to lose lose lose I am so motivated now. I eat great. The one day I went overboard was at work. Everyone ate chinese food for lunch. I ordered steamed chichen & mixed veggies NO SAUCE. I was enjoying chicken so much (HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO GET CHICKEN DOWN) I ate almost all of it. I did not to my amazement get sick but I realized this is going to be a life long effort. I still after 4 1/2 months ate even though I was full. After I ate I was SO MAD at myself. It was like a drug addict needing fix. I could not controll myself. This is a wonderful tool Doc gave me but I still need to work at it everyday. When I get to my goal and I will I will still need to watch myself at every meal everyday for the rest of my life!!!!!!!AND ITS WORTH IT


1/2/04
Well I just got back from Fl. I made my goal of 150 actually 153 by christmas. BUT I am afraid to get on scale in two days at work. I have been sooooo bad since christmas eve. I am so scared I actually gained weight. I am going to a GYM and am joining tomorrow. I need to exercise I have not done anything except like the first week PO. I am just wasting time by not exercising. Well anyway went to Florida (AND ATE) and had an ok time. I was still embarrassed by the way i look but felt better than last time. Actually I was wearing these shorts that fit me (BARELY) last time. I wore them as a swimming suit. They kept falling off me several times so that made me feel good. I figure I will need to lose at least 100-125 lbs more and have a Tummy tuck so I can be around 275-250. I think I will look good but I am not really sure. I cant ever remember weighing that. My next goal is 50 more lbs by April 1st. That is 3 months away. That is like 17 lbs a month. That is a lot. Its starting to slow down now. But I say I can do it. I NEED TO EXERCISE though. 50lbd by April 1st. Thats the goal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jan 10 04
I am down 164 lbs today. I went to the Dr yesterday. First my surgeon. He said after doing this so long he has never seen anyone lose as much as i did in 5 1/2 mnths. He said I broke a record. It felt great to hear. We talked for a bit and I left feeling really good. I kinda thought I wasnt losing what I should be BUT HE SAID I CANT DO ANY BETTER. I know thats not true. I am still not exercising. I need to do something. I have energy but I need to exercise and that will boost me up.
Second Dr the man who gave me hope and helped me get to the surgey table. I went in to get my blood taken. It was interesting. I knew when I started this journey I had high blood pressure. I never knew anything else. No other #. So I asked the doc when I started what was my cholesterol. MUCH TO MY AMAZEMENT it was 131 before surgery as of last test it was 136. For my fat A** that is pretty good. But anyway all is good and I am feeling good. I love losing weight and feeling clothes fall off me. I love pulling my pants up because after just buying them two weeks ago THEY ARE TOOOO BIG!!!!! I LOVE IT.

Jan22
WELL..............I am down another 10 TOTAL===175 WOW
Had a few stumbling blocks though. I started really pouring on the liquid....Problem is I was drinking Diet tea.....CAFFEIN

Spoke to nutritionist and she said basically I am drinking no fluid in a day. Its weird I was noticing the discolor of my urine. The bad smell. I was drinking around 220 ounces and all it was doing was dehydrating me. For around the last week I have been all water about two hundred ounces a day. That is why I think the last 10 lbs came off so fast. I wanted only another 50 by April 1 but it is looking like more. I am already down 1/2 of that 2nd goal. I have 25 more to -200 lbs. HOLY CRAP


Feb 4
Down 180 lbs today. IN addition I am down 18 SIZES in pants & 2x from 7 x shirt. I switched to only water now. I feel great. This has been such an amazing ride. My energy is through the roof. I run up the stairs now. I am STILL OBESE but it has been 12 years since I have been this weight. The lowest I really remember when I was like 18 or 20 was getting on a regular scale and barely able to weigh on it. I was like 310-320. When I am under 300lbs I am going to celebrate like I used to and eat a HUGE meal....maybe 4oz of tuna instead of 3.... :)

Feb 11
To be honest I came on to write how I feel as if I am not losing. Its a little depressing to get on the scale and not see it move. This is why i should not weigh myself as much as i do. I am still down 180 and I just looked back at my profile and realized how great I have been doing. I got an exercise bike today and did almost a mile actually I could have went longer but stopped because daughter wanted to use it. I will use it 3 time a week and starting tomorrow I will be exercising. Up till this point I have not been moving my ass at all. why then am I shocked I have not lost in 10 days. I know I need to exercise., this is the first time it really set in. I am changing my goal to 10 lbs by March 1st. I need that to be inspired again. I will succeed.

Feb 12
ok. I got on the scale today and I am down 5 lbs. I know it sounds crazy but I thought I was not going to lose anymore. I made my self nuts. But in a way its good because I am going to exercise like crazy now. So I just wanted to say I AM STILL LOSING.

Feb 19
Down 5 more lbs. Started exercising and ride a bike for 25 minutes now at night. Am going to do it every other night. Its just too much to do everyday. Plus its BORING. But I am almost down 200 lbs now. I am at -191. Wow I had like two other people come off me in 7 months. I feel pretty good. Its kinda weird I dont really notice the change in my body except I do things easier than I used too. Walk up stairs, ride my bike, run a little and I will not be dieing after it. So I need to lose 9-10 lbs for my goal of 200 lbs by april. I made that 10 lb goal I wanted by the end of March already. I will give an update of my weight loss total on March 1st.

Feb 27
Down 5 more lbs. -196. will give total on Monday the 1st. I am still not sure of ultimate goal. I kinda like setting small goals and being able to reach them I know that its slowing down but it is still coming off. I would like to set another small goal of 75 lbs by July 14th. My anniversary date of surgery. That would be a total of 275 in one year. I just looked back and from Jan 1 to basically March 1 I lost another 50 lbs. So I think that the 75 lbs is a little high because it is slowing down but I need a good goal..........-275 in 1 year My weight would be 270 LBS. THERE IT IS 75LBS BY JULY 14th. I have hit every goal SOOOOO far so whats one more. HERE WE GO 75LBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mar 1st 04 OH CRAP. On the scale this morning I have GAINED for the first time. I am down -192. I gained 4 lbs since friday. It does not seem possible. Actually I worked doing some home improvement this weekend and was one of my better eating weekends. Not sure what happened unless I did something wrong calculating weight on friday. Damn I am soooo mad. What the hell is going on. well I still have the goal of 270 lbs on 7/14/04. Now this really kicks me in the ass. I am going to be crazy. I am soo addicted to losing. That this is going to make me nuts.

March 5 I had an amazing experience last night. I went to a Department store (NORDSTROM) to buy a pair of shoes and walked into the mens department. I bought three shirts off the wrack. HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Size 2x This for anyone who has been to fat stores understands this accomplishment. it was one of the best feelings in a long time. It makes all this worth it TOTALLY. I still cannot buy pants off the wrack but getting close. I am a 2x in shirts but my fat ass is still a size 52. Around 6 more sizes to get pants off the wrack. But a shirt was a start. It was awesome.

MARCH 12 -202!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In 12 days I dropped 10 Lbs. I hope its going to start rolling off again. It has slowed but its expected. Well Monday I will give an update that will be my 8 month anniversary. Maybe I can make 205........on another note I am getting ready to go on my cruise. I had said I went to Nordstrom to buy clothes and that was awesome. I had to order some clothes like shorts and a pair of pants out of my fat catalog. Well I ordered size 52 in everything got it yesterday took it home tried it on and THERE TOOOOOO BIG!!!!!!!!!! That is awesome. I have to send it all back. I was thinking of keeping it but I will only wear them on the cruise and then like 2 months later. So I knew I needed to get them a little snug. I am ordering today a size 48 they will be tight on the cruise but perfect in June. I feels great its weird when I look in these fat catalogs I am almost out of the sizes. 8 months ago I was almost out of the sizes too. I was almost too big to use this catalog I was a size 68 they went up to 70. I am ordering a size 48 they go down to 46. Thats it after the summer I will be buying winter clothes at regular stores. Pants and all. I have not bought pants in a regular store since I was around 18. That is 14 years ago. 14 LONG YEARS TO BUY NORMAL CLOTHES. The next vacation I go on where ever it is It will slip my mind to just forget to bring my pants. I will have to go buy them at some store. I HAVE NEVER DONE THAT. On the cruise I want to just walk into the gift shop and be able to buy something. I know I am still fat actually obese but it feels great to somewhat be "NORMAL".

March 21

Hey i finally made it out of the SUPER OBESE Category on my bmi and am mobidly obese now. Wow what a celebration. All this work to be morbidly obese. ya right.
But it does feel good to be making progress. Its kinda weird I had to work some long hours this weekend and I felt the difference in my bodys reaction to it. I feel as if a car hit me right now but before I think i would have been dead. I am not sure about my weight because I dont have scale here but i will weigh on monday. My cruise is only two weekends away. CANT WAIT TO RELAX

March 26

Just got off scale and am down 207. I am scared still thats its slowly coming off. I guess its better than not losing at all. If I can lose 10-15 per month for 10 more months that would be great. How can I complain about losing this much weight. As if this was possible any other way. I am so comfortable at this point in my life with just about everything that the weight loss is icing on the cake. I am still really fat but i love the progress I have made. At least when I go away on my cruise I will feel somewhat comfortable. Much better than I would have 210 lbs ago. Well I go to the Dr in about a week to officially weigh in. Hopefully I can be down 210 by then.

March 29
Well i am down 210 today 4 days before appointment with the Dr. I am sick today I have a cold. This is 1st time since I have had surgery that I have been sick. Usually every winter I get some kind of sickness. I was hoping to do better this year but looks as if I wont make it without getting sick. People have been sending me emails when they look at my before And after pics. Its kinda cool. When I 1st got surgery I would look at pict to get inspiration and still do. Now some people are looking at me and getting inspiration. It does feel good!!!

April 2
I went to both my doctors today. 1st I went to the pulmonologist Dr. Goldstein. I brought my before pict with me the one that is on this site. His reaction was "HOLY ####. It was great. It made me feel so good. Then I went to surgeon Dr. Homan. I weighed in and was down 212 lbs. He brought me in to see the other surgeon and "SHOW ME OFF" That really felt good. Then he brought me out to the girls in office to "SHOW ME OFF TO THEM" I then showed the girls the before pic and the one girl said "NO WAY THIS WAS YOU" ahhh all in a days work.....haha

I have to see today was one of the highlights of the surgury journey. It was awesome to hear and see reactions to my progress. It gave me a boost. I know I still have a long way to go but it still feels good. After I weighed in doc was like wow you lost another 60 since Jan appointment. So in about 3 months I dropped another 60 lbs. I made the goal of -200 lbs by April 1st and am now going for the goal of 275 by July 14th. I think its a tall task but with summer coming and all i hope to be more active. I have made all these goals and its a great accomplishment in my life. All these painful years of gaining and gaining and now to have some control of my weight is just awesome. Its funny when I was younger in like 6th - 8th grade I was voted best dressed. I cared about my looks. I seem to be driving my wife crazy with things like Gel for my hair or I am on this buying spree of clothes. I must have bought 25 new shirts in the last month not really pants because I have to still go to fat stores for that. But I am starting to really care again about my look. Just like when I was a kid. It will be interesting on this cruise I go on to see how I react to so many things. I am still fat BUT i dont think so fat that people will stare. I cant wait to go on this vacation just to wear all these clothes. They are all summer clothes and I have not been able to wear them yet. Well I am babling tonight ....can you tell i am excited over being a total LOSER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

APRIL 12
BACK FROM THE CRUISE******LOST 1 LB IN A WEEK. Not bad I ate like a pig and drank like a slob!!!!! Back to the grind.
It was interesting to see how my body handled the walking and overall physical things i did. 1st walking in Disneyland was great. I was not winded or tired or anything. My feet did hurt but I think it was the new sneakers I was wearing. Then I was on the bahamas on the beach. I went snorkeling OH WAIT BY THE WAY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN ABOUT 10-12 YEARS I WALKED THROUGH A TURN STILE AND ACTUALLY FIT. OK NOW on the beach i went snorkeling and was not out of breath at all. I felt great. The whole vacation was just GREAT. This surgery is great. It made the quality of my life much better. I have so much to write about how happy I was on this cruise. The clothes I bought were great too. I actually looked in the mirror and said ok i look alright. I know I have a long way to go but its better than looking in the mirror and going uhhhhh or not looking in the mirror at all. Actually most of the shorts I wore are already loose on me. They will never make it to the summer. The belts I bought are already off the last loop I tried putting new holes in them but didnt work. I LOVE THIS. BACK TO THE DIET. 10 lbs this week is the goal. By monday the 19th 10 lbs.

Apr 13
just a quick note that I am down in 1 day 4 lbs......I knew it because i ate more when i was away and my body just needed that break on sunday & Monday. Came in this morning and boom it is gone. I feel as if I can accomplish just about anything with my weight loss. Its like I am waiting each day for it to just come to a full stop. I dont want it to happen but I kinda know I have a limited window of weight loss. They say it usually slows down in a years time. I HOPE NOT I want to be around 225-250 when all is said and done. If I hit my goal of 275 in a year that will put me at 270 lbs then I will have around 50 lbs to go at the most. When I went home last night and saw my pictures from the cruise I was still kinda discusted by the fat hanging off me. I cant imagine 9 months ago what I would have looked like at the beach I probably would have never gone on that trip without the surgery. I want to be able to look at a picture and be ok with it. In about 100 lbs more I will I hope.

Apr 15
Well its officially 9 months out today and I am down to 329 a total loss of 216 lbs. Its just rollin now. This is great. I am drinking this protein drink and it seems to be helping. Will write soon.

Apr 19
Down another 2 lbs. 327 lbs. My clothes that I bought for my cruise are really fitting me well now. I am feeling so good. I cant imagine at around another 100lbs down what I will feel like. I have starting eating a little more in the past two weeks but now I am back under control. I do not want to #### this at all. I get so nervous about gaining weight. I have gone on this web sight and done the weight loss planner I am dead on accurate with the loss they say I will achieve at 70%. The only problem is it says that I will end up around 275 lbs. I am not happy with that so I will ignore it and make sure I surpass that. In addition it says I will be down 256 lbs on 1 year. I wanted to be down 275. That was my goal. I am not ready to give into not making my goal but this planner has been VERY accurate. I am doing the best I can. With the spring here and soon the summer hopefully I will become a little more active.

April 23
Well I did something I have not done in about 10 years. I played Golf yesterday. Actually went on a course and played 18 holes. Yes we used a cart but there was still a great deal of walking. I felt great all day. This morning my legs are a little rubbery but what can you expect after 10 years that is by FAR the most exercise I have had in probably 10 years. I am ADDICTED to weighing myself. I weigh in just about every other day if not everyday. I know I shouldnt but i do. Its been like a lb or 2 everyday now for about two weeks. I hope I make this tall task of -275 by July 14.

April 28
Got on the scale this morning and I have lost another 3 lbs. I have lost a total of 223 lbs that puts me at 322lbs. I cannot wait till I am under 300lbs. Its like a whole new outlook on life. I want to experience all these things that just was not possible to do in the past. Its like I was reborn. I guess when I was SUPER obese (I am still obese) I really did not realize what I was missing. I knew I did not want to do much and I knew I could not do certain things whether I wanted to or not but now I want to do everything. A year ago all I wanted to do was work but its like I cant wait to get out of here now. I want to play with kids, want to see wife, just want to have FUN. I looked into going horseback riding. I new I was still to fat but they say up to 300 lbs. I am only 22lbs away from that. I dont want to break the horses back either so I will wait till like 250lbs but the point is I CAN ACTUALLY DO THIS NOW!!!!!

April 30
At this point I can tell when I have dropped a few lbs and when I havn't. Its kinda weird but coming into work I knew I dropped weight. Not the usuall 1lb either. I am down to 317 -5lbs since the 28th. So in two days I have lost 5 lbs. That 299 is just around the corner. I have not been under 300 since before I was 18. I am not sure when but I have not been there since my teens. I have SO much energy and stamina now. If I feel this good now like I said before how great will I feel in say another 50lbs. The only down fault to this surgery that I can see is the amount of skin that is on my body from before. I hope I can do something about it. That will also add to my weight loss. I still say that I hope to be around 250-225. I dont really have a set # for ultimate goal. I have not been that way like I said from my teens. So I have NO way of knowing what I will look like. I just want to be able to look into the mirror and see myself as being ok. Even to look good. I think the surgery has been a life saver for me. I feel like a newborn person. I have a whole new outlook now.

May 7th 2004

Well I have had a few setbacks. I have been having problems with my urine. It is very dark in color and bad smell. Then monday I kinda did not urine so i made appointment for doctor on Tuesday. By the time I got there my bladder was FULL and my doc sent me to a urologist. He did sonogram and urine test and found I was dehydrated. The thing is I drink at least 100 oz of water a day. So the doc is totally lost. All three docs , Surgeon, urologist, and general doc cant come up with an answer. So now I am going to have a catscan on this wednesday. Not to excited. I was kinda retaining water also on Tuesday I had gained like 5 lbs also. Doc said I was obviously retaining water. Today I have lost the 5 lbs + another 2 lbs. So I am happy about that. Well I hope to be reporting under 300 lbs soon. Today I am 315. On my way!!!

May 14
10 months today and down to 314. WOW!!!!! Thats - 231 lbs. Who would have ever thought just 10 months ago I was 545lbs. Thats just insanity. Its just nuts to know I was that fat. I am still obese but I have made so much progress and feel so good and my life is totally changed in so many ways. I cant wait till this summer really kicks in and see what I can do. Well I hope it continues to come off.

May 20th
I wanted to leave work early yesterday to go to my daughters TBALL Game (baseball). I went there and SAT ON THE BLEACHERS. And actually was comfortable doing it. Then my wife said to me would I like to go to my other daughters and sons band concert for school. First trigger reaction is NO because I cant fit in the seat. Without saying anything I thought about it and came to the conclusion I would go. I went there dreading to sit in that seat in the auditorium. As I sat down I was AMAZED. I FIT AND HAD PLENTY OF ROOM. Now I am fat STILL but to my amazement I fit with no problem. I had room to move around. It was fantastic. I loved sitting there. A few times these people came by and made us get up to let them go by I would usually winse because people would see me try to fit back into the chair. NOT THIS TIME I would just slide right in.

DOWN 235 today in addition to the great night last night. I weighed in at 310 lbs from 545. That is truley amazing.I feel great 11 lbs to that 299 mark. Cant even remember being that weight. I had the goal of - 275 by one year out. I think at this point i am falling short. I knew it was a tall order BUT according to many websites I should only be down 200 and 214 by the 1 year mark So I am well ahead of what is expected.

May 26

Down to *****305**** lbs today. thats a total loss of 240lbs 5 lbs away from that 300 mark. wow me 300lbs who would have ever thought it. Its like a dream or something. My ASS is still huge but its kinda the size of North Carolina not Texas anymore. Its great.

May 28 04
My wife goes away every year for about two to three weeks in the summer. This is usually my busy season so its kinda a nice break from kids and I can relax on the one day off on sunday or when i get home at night. This is usually the height of THE PIG OUT SESSION. I would usually eat like a mad man during this. Looking back I really enjoyed that time. I would eat sit on couch eat sit on couch rent movies and eat some more. So the point of my story is my wife went with the kids to her sisters house for memorial day weekend. So I went home last night actually at a reasonable 6:30 time. So I stopped at the movie store then I figured I gotta EAT thats the habit. So I went to supermarket and bought chips and salsa, Cherries and blueberries. Wow ready to eat. I went home and sat on couch with my cherries and blueberries AND WAS BORED OUT OF MY MIND. This Freaking surgery has given me SO MUCH ENERGY I could not sit there. I left and went to hit golf balls. Its amazing my veg time for myself is going to drive me nuts. I was out of my mind. I did not know what to do with myself. When my wife goes in the summer for two or three weeks I think I am going to lose my mind. I need to do something. I am going to have to go on like an 8 hour bike ride or something this weekend. I dont know. Oh by the way down to 302 :)

June 9 2004

ONE THING TO SAY 300 LBS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



June 11 2004

****************299***********************


This is truley an accomplishment for me. This ranks way up there of all time things accomplished in my life. Most people will not understand that but the people who read this and belong to this great site will understand it. I feel as if I never really weighed 545. Last night I went out to dinner with my brother (by the way I ate fish) and he said when we went to this restaurant 11 months ago I hopped up on the bar stool and he was thinking oh my god this is going to collapse right under my brothers ass. We laughed but its true. No matter where i went I had to worry about fitting and not breaking things. Its HORRIBLE to be that way. This has been a godsent for me and many many other people. I am well ahead of schedule now for weight loss I will not make the goal I personnally set But I have surpassed DR's goals and any website that kinda gives you an idea of weight loss I should have achieved. I am GRATEFULL to have had this gift that DR HOMAN HAS GIVEN ME. Its a TOOL and I am utilizing it to the best of my ability. Its by no means a cure but its a great tool to help me accomplish weight loss. I think at this point I want to be 225 lbs when all said and done. I need plastic surgery but i can live with that right now.

JUNE 14 04

Well today is 11months po. I am down 248 lbs to 297 this morning. I feel great. Hope to just keep losing and losing. My arms and legs are not looking so good. Actually they are discusting. I need plastic surgery on them real bad. I guess I have to wait it out though. When I get down around 225-250 I will be looking for surgery. Hope I get all of it paid for by insurance. I know some people do get it paid. Till next time SEE YA.

June 22

Well I went to the fat mans shop (casual male) yesterday to buy a pair of pants. I could not find one to fit me. I was actually getting frustrated. My size is a 46 now. These shops really dont carry this size. Its to small. The problem is regular shops like macys or jc penny dont either the size is too big. So I walked out with no pants. I tried on about 30 pairs with no luck. I was so annoyed walking out of there I am not really sure why. But Hopefully another 50 lbs and I can shop NORMALLY.
Down to 294 this morning..... :)

June 23

I am going on a plane on fri so needless to say i am scared. I feel as if i wont fit in the seat. Everyone is saying no problem but i feel as if i will have a problem. I do not want to be embarrassed. My mom came in yesterday to have lunch with me yesterday and brought me two pictures of me at my peak weight. MAN O MAN.....WAS I FAT. I still am but man i was like a house. maybe two houses. I was totally embarrassed just looking at them. I was in SHOCK. I WILL NEVER BE LIKE THAT AGAIN. I guarantee it. Well I will update after my flights. I will be back sunday. So I will check in then.

June 28

Back. WOW I FIT ON A PLANE. How great is that. There were people on the plane that were way bigger than me. They needed seat belt extenders. I was thinking to my self how embarrassed they must have felt to order the belt extenders. All I know is it felt great it really did.

June 30

Down to 290 this morning. Thats a loss of 255lbs. :) My personnel goal was -275 lbs in a year. I wont make it but I am doing great anyway. My surgeon said he felt I would have lost 200lbs by 1 year. He said he never thought it would be 260lbs. I missed my own goal by 15 lbs but boy i came close. Every other goal I set was made. I knew it was a little bit stretched but I still did great. I have another 14 days left so hopefully I can lose another 5 lbs so i miss goal by only 10 lbs. 250 LBS HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

July 5th 2004

I am down to 288 lbs this morning. I have been thinking alot about this surgery lately. More than usual. My weight has effected my life more than anyone can imagine. EVEN ME!!!!!

I look at things now and say no i cant do that I am too fat. I am still in the same mind set as I was 257 lbs ago. By no means am I normal yet but I dont stand out in a crowd as much as I used too. I can do things now that I could never imagine I could do. I missed out on so much in my life. I dont wish obesity on anyone. Its very difficult looking at my pics from the past. I dont understand how I became that way. I dont understand how I let myself become that. I always made excuses for my weight. I always said one excuse but it was really my weight preventing me from doing something. I wish I did this so much earlier in life. People say this is the easy way out. I did this so it would be easy. I never thought I would lose 150lbs never mind 256 so far. Its not easy. I see and catch myself falling into that bad habits of eating sometimes. I have to say WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING KEVIN? I can eat anything now. No holding back I have never gotten sick or anything. I can eat anything now. So what prevents me from eating like I did. 1st of all yes I cannot eat as much true. But if I wanted to I could go to mcdonalds and get a double 1/4 lbs with cheese and probably eat most if not all of it. DO I NO!!!!! Before I would eat two of them with fries and a shake. This is a tool I can use it or leave it in the closet. Its that simple. I had a person come to me at my office and say man have you lost weight. I said ya He said about 50 lbs I said about 250lbs he said no way. I pulled out my old pics and showed him he said r u ok I said yes He said I mean do u have a disease or something. Its weird I wondered how many others felt that too.

july 8 04

Went to the Dr's office today. He said that i have broken the record for wight loss in a year. I am down 254 lbs in a year. My problem with that is that I was weighed naked in the hospital @ 545lbs and today I weighed clothed. But in the morning when i got up I weighed 286 so I consider myself down 259 lbs. But then again Whos counting...ME THATS WHO HAHAHA

He said that the most anyone lost in all the years he has done this is 206 lbs in a year. I killed that #. But it also felt great that he was showing me off again. It kinda does something for you to know your surgeon is proud of you. We discussed the ultimate amount of weight loss and he said I should be around 200 lbs when all said and done. I thought this was really not reachable. He said since I lost all this is just a year I should have no problem losing another 90 or so pounds to get to 200. WOW me at 200 lbs so TOTALLY UNREALISTIC........BUT ITS REACHABLE. So its time for another goal for myself. So here goes.....
I want to weigh when i go back to him on october 14th that will be 1 year and 3 months out 250 lbs. That will be - another 35 lbs from the 14th of July. I am cheating a little cause by the one year date July 14th I will lose another 2-3 lbs so about 30lbs in another 3 months. Thats only 10 lbs a month for 3 months That should be NO problem I hope. Wow me 250lbs. I never thought I would see the 300's never mind the 200's and now I think after going to him today I have my eyes set on 200-225lbs as my ultimate goal. I cant believe it but it really does seem obtainable after talking to him today. Just writing this I am freaking out over the thought of weighing 225 lbs. Baby steps 250 by Oct 14 2004. THATS THE PLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JULY 14th 2004 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY TODAY

1 Year POST OP DOWN 260 LBS IN 1 YEARS TIME!!!!!!!! My weight is now 285lbs from 545 lbs.

Was just at a place and the guy there asked me how much I lost so far and he was like "OH MY GOD THAT IS MORE THAN I WEIGH" Thats just ridiculous that I had to lose this much weight but I am glad I did.

July 28 04

Well the weight is really slow or I hit a plateau. Its driving me crazy. I have lost 260 still. I am 280 lbs. Its weird I gain 2 lbs lose 2 lbs gain 2 then lose 2. I am not doing anything different so I assume its normal. People told me its like a brick wall at a years time. On a better note I went to a store yesterday and bought a pair of pants and three shirts right off the wrack. That was cool. I go to these stores with the mind set that i am so fat I will never be able to get into any pants. When I pull my size out I look at them and say I will never fit in those then I put them on and they are big. I still have the mind set that I am a size 70 not a 46-44. Its weird. I am going through clothes like crazy. I am in a 2x shirt and beleive me its almost an xl. I think the 2x is too big now but I have not even tried an XL I am sure it will fit might be tight but it would fit. Well I need to lose some weight and get off this plateu.

July 30 2004

Well got on the scale and am down another 4 today. Hopefully I have broken this plateu. I started drinking about 60 oz of water before I get to work and then another 60 oz during work then 60 after work. I was told if you drink a great deal of water in the early AM it kicks your metabolism into high gear. So I am trying it. Hopefully it will crush this plateu.

Aug 2 2004

I just realized that I am almost 1/2 the weight I was a little over a year ago. 272 would be 1/2 I am 278 this morning down 267 lbs. I cant lift that much weight I have no idea how I was dragging it around on my body. I look at myself and realize I am still obese but what was I 267 lbs ago. Man o Man. I went to Modells sporting goods this weekend and put on an xl coat. It fit with no problem. That is amazing. The way the mind plays games with me is crazy. I looked at it and said I will never fit into that but yet I put it on and it was perfect. From a size 7xl to an xl. I want plastic surgery so bad. I will drop a few sizes from that i am sure. If I was to be around a size 38 waist. When I started this I would have killed to be a size 44. Now that I am almost that I want a size 38 then I will want a size 32. Nah 32 is too small I will settle for a size 36 or 38.

Aug 5 2004
I am 275 Lbs this morning. That is a total loss of 270 lbs. I have learned something new also. I had some No sugar added ice cream BUT it does have Sugar alcohol. This I have learned can be a LAXATIVE......WELL IT IS FOR ME. So I will be staying away from that But I keep Losing.

aug 8 2004
Now this is big. I went to TARGET last night. I bought underwear......!!!!!HOLY CRAP.... I am in a size 44 and can buy 2XL underwear. This is really big. Usually I pay around 2$ 25 for a two pack of underwear. Last night I bought a 5 pack of the oldie but goodie fruit of the loom for $ 10.00. That makes it worth it right there. To walk into a store and buy underwear is REALLY BIG.


FRIDAY THE 13TH of Aug 1 yr and one month NOT A GOOD DAY!!!!!!!


Came home on thursday and my wife made my son a steakums sandwich. For those of you who do not know what this is its small thin pieces of steak THAT ARE PURE FAT. I used to love them. So I said sure let me have some layered on some cheese and away i Ate. And then the pain. WOW WHat pain. Doubled over not able to move. Almost to the point of tears. I layed in bed dieing. Finally fell asleep. Well woke up on FRIDAY THE 13th and was taking day off already from work. Still had a little pain and just thought it was gas. So I ate a piece of toat with cream cheese and off to the arcade I went with two youngest kids. Drove there was having a little more pain got inside played one game and boom couldnt move again. Now I got worrying. I let the kids finish there tokens (WHO WANTs WINY KIDS ONTOP OF PAIN I THOUGHT) got in the car and started driving home. I was in so much pain I thought of dialing 911. But stupid me kept driving dropped kids off and went straight to hospital. Got there around noon. 4 hours later I was scheduled for emergency surgery. Galbladder was being removed that was the easy part. My bile duct the thing that secrets fluid to digest fat (THE STEAKUMS) is completely blocked. My liver is infected and I am having a great day at this point!!! I went into surgery the next day. I was told it would be an hour and 1/2 from start to finish. Well 4 hours later I was alive. Lucky to be alive. Dr told me he has never taken so many stones out of a person. He used the comparison of a Gourmet food store peppercorn jar filled 3-4 times. That is how many stones I had. He said for two hours he just cleaned out stones. In my bileduct I had 20-30 stones in it. Had I not come in I would have been dead in no more than two days. That is scarey. I just came home today Wed the 18th. Was in there for 6 days. Still have drains (2) of them coming out of my body into bags. I had some extensive conversations with Dr. abou what happened he told me several time THIS HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MY WLS. He said the scarey part is that the stones came out of galbladder because there were so many and got into this bile duct. That was the dangerous part. It is true that a lot of WLS Patients do get the galbladder removed bt its just precautionary. When my wife talked to my mom my mom remembered that it was not removed because the Dr said it was to dangerous at the time to do it. Remember my WLS was dangerous I was 545 lbs to start and he was not willing to keep me on the table for another 3 hours at the time. Well I think I will be in recovery for a while. I hate to admit it but longer than the WLS for sure. And to top it off I gained 15 lbs of IV liquid in hospital.

Sunday Aug 22nd

Got to be honest this STINKS!!!!! I am still in pain. The drains are horrible and I feel as if I am a mess. I have not lost the 15 lbs of fluid from hospital yet either. I am going back to work tomorrow but plan on 1/2 days. I dont think I can do whole days. I get tired around 1-2 pm and thats sleeping till 830-900 am. I would feel better if the drains were out. They are really bothersome. I go out and last for like a 1/2 hr. I feel like I am starting all over again. oh well no sense in wining about it.

Aug 25th

I am down to 270 lbs. That is two pounds less than 1/2 the weight I was. That is a loss of 275lbs. So that at least brings a smile to my face. I am still in freagin agony but at least the weight is coming off. In addition my waist is shrinking. My size 44 pants are barely hanging on to me. I am probably around a size 40 now.

Aug 27th

I am 265 this morning. Maybe this Galbladder surgery is helping me lose who knows. My incision seems to be getting better. I am almost back to full days of work. Well in actuallatiy I am back to a "Normal" work day my hours are 7am to 7 pm. I have been working the last week 7:30 to 3:30-4:00. So thats a full day but not for me. I just wish I could get these tubes out. They are killing me ontop of the fact they annoying trying to sleep with them. I set the goal to weigh 250 lbs by oct 15. It seems to be obtainable now. That is only 15 lbs in a month and a 1/2. Wow to weigh 250 lbs is just unthinkable in my mind. This is just amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sept 5th

Woke up this morning and decided to go to JCPENNY to buy some clothes since it is TAX FREE WEEK in NY. Ahh who am I kidding I just wanted to buy clothes.....

So off I went on a rampage in the store. Its great getting things that you THINK YOU WILL FIT IN. I must have taken about 20 shirts pretty much everything I could find in a size 2X into the dressing room. Started trying them on and they just did not look right to me. So I left them all in the room and went out to get a couple of XL SIZES. Took 2 or 3 into the room because there is no way they will fit me YA RIGHT THEY ARE TOO BIG. I am now wearing a XL or a LArge shirt. WOW. Me and JC PENNY had a fight with my credit card needless to say JC PENNY WON. :)

It was great I bought so many shirts almost all were xl but 3 were large. It was amazing looking in that mirror seeing these shirts too big. It felt great. Actually walking out of the dressing room to buy smaller sizes is unbelievable. I think I just bought things because I can. Its stupid but being on the other side of the tracks looking through catalogs buying and then getting the clothing and it looks nothing like you expected but had too keep it just to have something to wear is MUCH WORSE than buying something and not wearing because you just dont want too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) I LOVE IT


Sept 10 04

I am down to 259 this morning. Thats a loss of 286 lbs in almost one year and two months. These tubes are still in me and hopefully coming out today. They are so bothersome. I hope I make the goal of 250 by oct 14.


Sept 12

I got the tubes out the other day....PAIN HOLY COW PAIN. That hurt sooo bad you know its bad when dr tells you "this is going to hurt are you ready?" It hurt. But at least its over now. I can move on. I cant do any kinda lifting so I will have to pass on the next MR OLYMPIA CONTEST cause i cant work out. DARN !!!!!! But seriously I need to start using some energy in a GYM. Its killing me that I have not worked out at all. I need to do something soon. Actuall I need to do something now. Dr said to wait till Nov 1st so I dont get hurnia. But I need to start running or something.

Oct 1 2004

Well I am 15 days from going to my dr and I am not at my goal. I have not lost since the last post I made on here. I am still 259lbs. That is 9 lbs from my goal. Man O man its not slow it just stopped. I am about 25 to 30 lbs from goal. I wanted to end up around 225 then get Plastic Surgery. At this rate it will be another 6 months. Trying to keep head up

Oct 5 2004

I am down 2 lbs since last post. I am 257 this morning. Its really weird. I went to a football game this weekend and ate like a pig. Had steak, chips a few beers then hot dogs all the usual. Wake up the next morning and bam down 2 lbs. Go figure. It makes no sense to me at all.

DEC 15

Well I guess it time to update. As you can see I have not been here for a while. And not writing here means I have lost ZERO weight since last post. Its killing me. Actually I just looked back and i have lost 3 lbs since last post. But that is horrible. I know I can do more to lose. I do no exercise and am eating sweets. When I was really heavy I was eating two sandwiches or a whole pizza or something like that. I did not really eat sweets. NOW I DO. I have tried to figure out why and I cant. I am not sure if its a quick fix like a quick sandwich used to be or what. Anyway I am enjoying life. I went to see Bill Cosby the other night. Amazing how my thinking has changed. I never even thought of not being able to fit in the chair or anything like that. When I got there it was so freakin tight not the seat but the rows were so cramped together. We were on the floor and they just had folding chairs there. That was fine but the rows were so cramped. All I kept thinking was that a year ago I would have never fit. My belly would have never fit I would have died. I would be so embarrassed. It was great I just slid in the seat and after about an hour I started thinking about how far I have come. The thing I could have never done and the things I dont even think twice about now. ITS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FEB 27 05
wow its been 2 1/2 months since i posted something. And you know the only reason to post is because I LOST. Well the biggest milestone has been hit. I am down 301 LBS. Finally I passed the 300 mark. I now weigh 244 LBS. That is amazing. If I had Plastic surg now I would be around 210 Lbs. The dr told me I have at least 20 lbs on my stomach. I figure between my legs and arms and my BEHIND I have at least 15 lbs of skin. Its going to be a while before I can do Plastics because of work but I will do it. I would love to weigh 225 when I get plastics but who knows. I am happy where I am right now. I feel great and am starting to feel like I am not REAL fat. At least to the point that people are not staring at me anymore. I am almost on the dr's charts as being just overweight. I was super obese then very obese then morbidly obese now I am just obese. WOW all this to be obese. A few more lbs and i am just overweight. I know the dr's charts are off but I would still like to be just overweight. Well thanks for reading all.

April 8 05

Been a little while since I have posted. I havnt lost anymore weight but have had a few things to talk about. So many things have changed in my life its amazing. Little things like going to the mall and eating lunch in a little booth. I could never fit in them before so I would make an excuse why i didnt want to eat. I took my daughter to karate today the teacher said all parents come to the matt and lay down next to your child. \
WHAT WOULD I HAVE DONE AT 545 LBS. I would have died. I would have never been able to get up. I have no idea what I would have done. I just popped down and popped right back up. It was great.

Now the season is finally changing so this can only mean one thing. SHOPPING SEASON IS HERE. I went to shop and bought a size 40 shorts. When I fit in a size 38 man what that will mean to me. That will just be great. A size 38 I cant even imagine that. Even though I am right there it just seems SO far away. I still see myself as like a size 70 or something. A size 38 If I said someone was a 38 in my mind I would think that person is not fat. So maybe I am not fat. WOW I never thoght of it that way. I would never say a person with size 38 waist is fat. There is a milestone me not fat.

Well I think that the next few years will really be the test. In the beginning I just lost weight. Now I can eat whatever I want so its become harder. The statistic says people gain weight I hope I dont become part of that statistic.

July 14 2002
Today is my 2 year birthday. Its been 2 years since I had my surgery. What a ride its been. Ita amazing in life how you take little things for granted. All the things that I do now that I could have NEVER done before. The weight prevented me from doing so much. I am sure through this profile I have mentioned so many things I can do now. It really is like I was born at age 32. I started a whole new life. Along with a whole new outlook on life. Before I would go somewhere and be so afraid to go not only by myself but I would be afraid even if I was starving to eat by myself. I always felt as if people were making fun of my weight. So why let them see me eat. As if they didnt know I was eating. Now if I go to the mall or anywhere else I just eat whatever I want whenever I want. I have had a break through in my life. I have so much self esteem now I feel as if I can do anything. In my personal life and in business. I really am a changed person. This surgery has been such a great tool that I will use the rest of my life. I have used it for a total of 301Lbs so far. I am currently a 244LBS from 545. I was a size 70 pants TIGHT to a size 40 pants loose. I was a size 7XL shirt to a size XL now. I can shop anywhere I want whenever I want. Its great. Had I not gone throgh this I would probably had a miserable life and been dead at 40 years old. Thats scarey. For anyone thinking of doing this.. DO IT. But be prepared to change. You do change because your outlook on life changes. Its almost like a drug addict. You want more and more of life. The little tastes of things you never had when you finally get them you crave it more and more. I am like a kid in a candy store that has been in that store for 32 years and they have kept the alarm on so I couldnt move. All of a sudden the alarm is off and I can take as much as I want. I WANT IT ALL NOW. I want to enjoy life as much as possible. This really saved my life. I just cant wait to take on life to its fullest.

Aug 4 05
I had an amazing experience last week and had to write about it. I went to a water park for the 1st time in my life. Even as a kid I didnt go to them when all my friends would go. I was always too fat and way too embarrassed. I went I have to admit it was a weird experience. Taking my shirt off in front off all those people was weird. I never did that. I am still fat but my upper body is not as bad as my lower body. If I can get plastic surgery I actually think I will be ok with my body. Anyway I went down a few slides and into the pools. After I got back to my chair I would put my shirt right back on but at least I was doing it. And I was ok doing it.

Sept 6' 05

Over the weekend I went to Six Flags Great Adventure. As soon as we got to the park We went straight to the new ride kinda ka. Its a roller coaster. I got on it with NO PROBLEM. The 1st time I have been on a coaster since around 18-19 years old. It really felt great. I went on a couple more rides after that. My mind still plays games with me by telling me I wont fit. But I did, and with no problem. I went over to the bumper cars I didnt go on because I have had a back problem. So I waited. There were a couple of people next to me standing there. As I watched a few rides go by the people next to me were saying some things as different people got on the ride. For instance a few people were speaking spanish and this guy next to me was yelling this is america speak english. I was like wow the balls of this guy. But here is the thing. There was a woman who got on and she was really heavy and the guy along with his friend was yelling "you fat pig eat another twinkie or 20" and things like this. It just near killed me to know the pain she was going through at the time. She got off the ride and walked away. I wanted to so badly tell her something anything to make her feel better but I didnt. I just stood there in amazement. The truley amazing thing was right before my kid got on his 2 kids came off who were SO heavy I couldnt believe that he was yelling this to this poor woman when his kids are both OBESE. What was he thinking. People just have no idea how cruel they can be and how hurtful and what that did to that poor woman. My heart went out to her.

Jan 5 06

Well its been a while since i haveposted so i am here to do so. Its been about 2 1/2 years since the surgery. Up till about 3 months ago this was so easy. I havnt lost in about a year now. But I have not gained till now either. this is the hardeat part of the whole journey now. KEEPING IT OFF. People always ask me if this was hard. Tell ya the truth its EASY, UNTIL NOW. I have gained about 10 LBS now. I have lost 290 LBS but still I HAVE GAINED. Its scaey this is how I became 545 LBS. One LB at a time. Trus me I will never become 545 LBS again but I have to get out of bad habits and buckle down to what I have learned in the last 2 years. The weird thing is I can eat and drink anything I want. Thats not a good thing. I have never dumped. Have no idea what it feels like. I used to be glad for this but now I wish I did dump. I would still do this again 4 sure. However I wish I had never gotten myself in this position to have the surgery. I realize almost everyday that I have missed out on so much in the first 30 years of my life. I should update more but there really isnt much to say. People tell me all the time that they cry when reading this or its amazing I just hope someone reading can realize what they can do with this tooland what it has meant to my life. I would have probably been dead by 40. hopefully i will live to at leat 41 now.


THIS IS MY FACE PIC I HAVE BEEN ASKED FOR....1/20/06