 About Me
Hi, I am Sheila and I am 36yrs old. I am 5'5 1/2" tall and weight in at 286.7lbs per Dr Ditslear scales. That is 4lbs less than my scales at work, which I love to see, even though I know I really didn't loose anything, it sure sounds good. I have been heavy since before I can even remember, my mom tells me I was little when I was young, but I sure don't remember being little. I do however remember the other kids making fun of me and calling me everything from redhead fat girl to whale on the beach. I don't know if my mom has selective memory or she remembers a different childhood than I do. Anyway the point is I don't ever remember being small, little, thin, or any of those other terms I use to dream of being for just a day. This is hopefully the first step towards me being healthy and maybe one of those dream words that I don't even dare speak. I have had my consultation with the surgeon, nutristionist, and pyshcologist. All went well and out of three one told me I was a great canidate, the other two just used general terms and told me I would get a call. Phone PLEASE RING! They are sending in the info to the insurance company, so now I wait.
   
 March 19, 2005
It's been awhile since I updated. I have been waiting on the Dr's office to send the insurance company the information. I probably drove both the Dr's office and Insurance company nuts, but I can't help myself. But today in the mail I received my copy from the Dr's office that they sent to the insurance. I know this sounds crazy but I sound worse on paper than I even think I am. And the problem with that is that it is all TRUE. Now if the is not the most depressing thing. But hopefully, the truth will get me through. If I was the one reading the letter I would say HELP THIS GIRL!!!!!!!!! So keep your fingers crossed.
 March 25, 2005
Today was GREAT news. I called the insurance to see if anything had been decided. Well HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME I AM APPROVED!!!!!!!!!!!! Drop the phone, having a yelling fit. I am on my way to the loser's side of life, THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!!!
March 28, 2005
Received my copy of the approval letter from insurance! It is real, I really am approved. Read it 100 times and even had Larry read it to make sure I was reading it right. Called the Dr's office left a message asking if they had received their copy and called the clarian office to let them know. They were as excitied as I was. I love the staff there!!!!!
March 30, 2005
Well today has been a day of high's and low's. Larry had to go to the Dr's today for his neck and found out he does not have to have surgery, YEAH! But no more motorcross racing for him, BOOO, he is very upset. He loves to race. BUT, GOOD NEWS for me, the Dr's office called. They received their copy of the approval letter. The nurse from his office will be calling to set pre-op testing and surgery date. I almost peeed my pants!!!! I can't wait. But I promised work I would not schedule before June 1, 05 because we have a girl going on maternity leave. So Next 2 months will be full of excitement. Trying to prepare myself. Been off the Diet Coke for 6 weeks now. That has been tough. Been practing eating slow and I think finally am starting to eat at a normal rate of speed. Well, will let you know what happens next.
June 2, 2005
Well, I guess I have updated in a while, so I will try to catch you up real quick. I had my preop tests on May 11, 2005, everything went ok. I can't really say I liked the upper GI, but I survived. I had my preop class on May 19, 2005 at Clarian. Larry went with me and everything went great there. On May 26, 2005 I went to my medical doctor appoint and got final approval, no stops now! and last but not least I attended my first support group meeting Yesterday(June1, 05) at Clarian. I love our dietician, here name is Ruth Ann and she is wonderful. I meet several people who are on there way to success and several of us just beginning our journey. You know it is strange, that even though I talk to people who were just like me months ago it dosen't seem possible I will be where they are standing someday. Well surgery is just 1 week away and I am excited but nervous. I sent my picture into see If I could get it posted so hopefully it will be on here soon. I will try to write again soon.
June 12, 2005
Well, I am officially a post-op! I got home yesterday 6/11/05. Surgery was uneventful, I was not able to get my hernia fixed, but they tell me that is for the best. I have not had a lot of pain, it is mostly dull pressure in the center of your breast bone. I have 6 stab wounds and am wearing a binder. It is so weird not being hunger. I can only eat half of ONE egg, so weird. I fell stuffed. I am not getting all my water or protein in yet, but I am sure it will come with time. I want to write more but I am just too tired. I will write more later.
June 14, 2005
Happy Birthday to my Sister, Melissa! Here it is day 5 things are still great, had a little trouble this am, got sick for the first time. Called clarian got the advice I needed and now I am back on the straight and narrow and feel wonderful. I think Larry and I are already starting to see a difference in me. My face looks thinner. Well, just stopped by to give an update talk to ya later.
June 21, 2005
Today was my 2 week check-up (actually 12 days) The scale says I am 253, that is 15lbs less than what I was at the office. Ruthann says, 11% of my body weight gone forever! My diet just increased to soft. So on the way home we stopped at Taco bell and my first meat was a beef and bean burrito with cheese and I ate the inside. I have to admit it tasted wonderful. Although I was not able to eat the whole thing. I still feel good. I have been released to drive and swim. Things are great right now.
August 10, 2005
Well, here it is 2 months, I got on the scale yesterday and it show 222lbs. That is a total of 46lbs. So after my work out today I tried on a pair of my size 18 jean shorts and they fit without even having to lay on the bed to zip them! Yeah, I am dance like a mad woman! Horray!!!!!!!!!!!!!! People seem to be noticing more and more, but I still have doubts inside, I still wonder ever day if this is going to fail. I have even questioned whether I deserve for this to be happening to me. The head game is the biggest problem because even if you conquer all the other demons that one stares you in the face ever time. Will update again later.
Sept 21, 2005
Well, I went for my three month check-up today, offical wt 205.2lbs, I have lost 45% of my body fat and my BMI is 34. Not to bad for three months. I am still eating ok, somedays do better with my protein than others. My hair is still thick and shiny, I am exercising although I could probably due better in that category too. My home life is in a little bit of a shambles. Larry and I have not been getting along very well, but we are working on it. I get lots of comments about my weight, still an issue with me. I never have liked for people to mention my weight I still don't. I also don't like some of the attention I am getting from the opposite sex. I guess maybe that has always been one of my hold backs, because I don't handle it very well.
We celebrated Andi's first birthday this past weekend. There is nothing better than being able to chase, play and be with our children. And not minding having pictures taken. Until next time hope all is well with everyone.
Feb 27, 2006
Well, here we are 8 months out, I just weighed here at work and I am at 191lbs, so lets see I have lost from my recorded highest of 286 (95lbs) from my first bariatric visit (81lbs) and the day before surgery 77lbs. even though I should be jumping up and down, I am really disappointed in myself. I was suppose to be at 100lb weight loss by now (really at 6 months) I missed that goal. And now I am terrified I will not make my year goal of 140lbs. I have 51lbs to go and only 5 months. the really sad thing is I have not lost a pound since before thanksgiving. I am discouraged and feel hopeless inside. NO ONE around me understands. they all are tired of hearing about my surgery, results, and my feelings. Including those close to me. He is the most discouraging. Larry makes me feel like I am a true failure. He dosen't even look at me like I thought he would, nor is he at all excitied. He says I different, and not in a good way. the sad thing is I think he is right. I have been working out since 2 weeks before thanksgiving and have not lost a pound since I started. so for the last 2 weeks I have not worked out. Help me I am falling into the same pit and don't know what to do. No I do not have a support group close by and cannot afford the cost and time to drive clear to Indy. I don't know if anyone will read this but I thought it might help to put my feeling down. Write again soon.
Created by Leigh Ann, 06.22.05
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