ObesityHelp

06/16/02
I am 27 and I am going to have my surgey on July 11,2002. I am very scared but I know that this is the right thing to do. I know that I will finally be able to live my life like a normal person and for once in my life be able to live ridicule-free. How wonderful that will be...

06/19/02
Well, It all seems so unreal. It is such a wonderful feeling knowing that someone (dr., surgeon,ins co.) has finally validated that I, myself, can not lose my weight on my own. I am getting pretty nervous about the whole thing, but I know that this is the right thing to do. I think what is scaring me, is my mom just had this surgey done on the 4th of June and I am watching her recovery. My mom never shows that she is in pain, so when I see her in pain it kind of freaks me out. She had already lost 17.5 pounds by the tenth day after surgery. It is so amazing. So, it is times like this, I know that this is the right thing to do. It is going to be so amazing being able to acually fit in when I go to clubs and not just being the 'fat tag-along'. I have everyone rooting for me. I do have to give a special thanx to my boss (Melanie Smith-Rice) and for my wonderful co-worker (Paula Slacido) for being such understanding and caring people. They never judged me on the size of my body, only the size of my brain. They are truley an
inspiration. Without them, none of this would be possible. I don't think that they understand how much they have really done for me. Hopefully someday I will be able to show them what amazing women they are. Since, I am giving credit, I of course can't forget the most important person in my life...My mom. She is my inspiration. She is such a caring, loving and brave woman. She can conquer anything and like I said above she has just had this surgey done and is sailing along wonderfully. Knock on wood, no problems...Anyways, this was supposed to be about me, but my life really isn't that interesting without our beautiful, supporting friends and mothers. My surgery is still scheduled for the 11th of July and I am getting increasingly nervous about it, but if I don't do this then who knows how huge I will be in later years...if I even make it there. I will write again after my surgery. Happy Daze and Peace for all...
07/18/02
Well hello again, my bueatiful ones! I am 7 days post-op, at home and feeling wonderful. I still have a little pain, but nothing I can't handle. I have good pain meds to take care of anything I can't. My surgery as stated before was on July 11th. Everything went like clockwork. No problems at all. I was in some serious pain a couple of times in the hospital, but I just pushed my button and they went away. My hospital stay was great. (Scripps Mercy, San Diego) It was more like a hotel stay. Everyone was so helpful and curtious. I was really scared and did a lot of crying right before my surgery, but the staff there made me feel comfortable knowing that I was in good, caring hands. I was never made to feel like an odd freak as I was in other places. They have two floors who are primarly dedicated to barictric patients, so all of the nurses know what to do and how to handle any situation. A few words of wisdom; walk as much and as many times as you can in the hospital, it really makes you feel better. Take it from me, I could not understand how getting up and walking right after surgery could, but it did. The first time I did walk though, I did get a little light-headed and had to lean on a wall for a bit. However, the nurse gave me a wet washcloth and I wiped my forhead and neck down, then I was o.k. to at least go back to my room. Don't get discouraged, though. It gets easier with every walk, it really does help! It also helped me get out of the hospital faster. Even if they told me that I had to stay longer I would have, it wasn't bad at all...but you know,'There's no place like home!' I saw my doctor yesterday and I had already lost 11 pounds! Amazing, huh! I'm so excited!#$^%^* It's still not really sunk in that this is going to be the time that I accually lose weight. I mean, you know when your so excited to start a new diet but in a few weeks, months your feeling terrible because you can't stick with it? Well, it's really cool knowing this is finally the one which will change my life. I am so glad I had this done. This was definitly the best thing that I could have ever done for myself. There's no looking back now...

10/04/02
Well, well, well...I am back with a vengence. Sorry I haven't posted in so long, but I have returned to work and I have been very busy. I have lost 67lbs since july 11th. I still can't believe it. It still seems unreal. I mean when I get into the shower or just change my shirt for that matter, I see my scar and I can't beleive that it is over and done with. I have gone from 32/34 in my pant size to a 22/24. My shoes size has gone from 11/12WW to a 9. I have already gone form a 46DDD to a 40/42D in bra size. It is truely amazing. I am currently at 283 lbs and counting down. I am working very hard at it though. I go to the gym at least 4 times a week and I go dancing every Saturday. Well, I better go. I will write again when I have more time.
10/07/02
Well, I am back again...I have had a great time seeing that my body is really shrinking! I did have a little problem about a month ago. I was throwing up everytime I ate someting of substance. I was blaming it on the common things (eating too fast, eating too much, drinking too soon, etc.) but it turned out to be a stricture. The opening was just about closed. But then, they opened it back up and now everything is just fine. I can eat almost everything just fine. I will be honest though, I did try to eat some choclate and it made my extremly sick, but even so, I tried it again and I got sick again. Finally, I tried choclate ice cream and that gave me dumping really bad, too. I now realize that I can't eat anything choclate! Oh, well, I don't really miss it. It seems strange to say this, but my biggest problem is, I really have no appetite. I have to force myself to eat now. I do drink my protein dring daily though and now I am able to take regular vitamins. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH...NO MORE NASTY CHEWABLE VITAMINS!!! So, I am enjoying my new found life. It is so nice to be able to go out, be noticed because I look nice and not because I am the biggest one there. I can now go to a reseraunt, slide into a booth and not have my stomach and chest resting on the table. It's so cool. Well, I better go. If by any chance anyone is wondering if there are any regrets, there isn't any. This is the best thing that I have ever done! I would do it again in a heartbeat! I will write again in a month or so.
Happy Daze and Peace for All

01/31/03
Well, it has been a while, but I'm still here and FANTASTIC!!! I feel soooo Wonderful!!! I just went shopping last nite and bought a size 20 pants and skirts and size 14/16 for my top. I have offiacially hit the centuery mark. I have lost a total of 103 lbs. This is sooooo amazing. I never imagined this was ever possible. I am now going out on dates, I can dance for hours on end and just my overall being feels sooo much better. I bought a home gym, treadmill and stationary bike and every mornign I get up at 6:00 and work out for an hour before work. This is a bueatiful tool. I wish everyone who was heavy could have this done. The feeling is soo totally new. It's like being able to breath for the first time...literatly. I just saw a friend the other day (she's the one that I have given all of my old clothes to) and she was so sad. It just broke my heart to look at her. I can see the look in her eyes, it's the same depressed, hating life, why am I here look that I used to have. She is sooo miserable. I know where she is coming from. I just want to cry seeing her feel so terribly bad. It just doesn't seem fair. She's always been bueatiful to me, but as usaul not to everyone else and it is making her sad. It is not right...just not fair. She is interested in having the surgey, however her mother and her husband are both adamently against the surgery. They of course have heard all of the horror stories and are afraid to lose her. I expalined to her that I understand, I was scared to death too when I went in for surgery. I just knew this had to be done, 'cause the way I was felling was horrible. I was not living, I was just watching it go by. There is nothing worse than knowing your part of life, but invisable. All i can say is this is the best thing that I have ever done. Well, better go. I will write again after a few more pounds are gone.
Happy daze and peace for all
07/18/03
WELL IT'S BEEN A YEAR!!!
It has been a year and 150lbs are gone!!! I couldn't be more happy! Everything about my life has changed. I feel great about myself and it is so amazing to know that I only have 65lbs more before I hit my goal of 135lbs. I am dating for the first time in my life and it is wonderful. It is such an amazing feeling to be able to walk in to anyplace and not be noticed at all. (As for before, everyone would stare and be asking,"Who brought the fat girl!!!) Actually, I get so much attention and numbers now, it's unbelieveable. I know it's all a game that we play, but it's nice to know that I am finally in THE GAME. I am now wearing size 14 skirts/pants, large/medium shirts, my bra is a 36/38c from tight 48DDD and my shoes are 9 1/2 vs. 12WW or slippers because my feet would swell so badly, I could even wear the 12. I am wearing belts forthe first time. It's soooo cool, there are so many firsts, it's hard to count. Now that we got all the good stuff out of the way...I have had some problems, though. For about 2 months, I had to see a therapists because I couldn't handle all of the attention that I as getting. I know it sounds strange, but it was very overwhelming. I am also on medication to try and shrink an ulcer that I have given myself by drinking Tequeila! You know, it really sucks, because you finally feel normal enough to fit in everywhere and not be stared at, then this has to happen. Let me tell you, It is extremly painful. Also, at the same time, now I can eat anything that I want again...NOT COOL!!! Of course, it is very hard to control my self. It is hard to handle the fact that just because my body is changing doesn't automaticlly mean that I should beeating everthing that I can. I still, unfortunatly, have my bad fatty habits that got me to the place that I don't want to go back to. So, I am struggling with my self to stay away from the things that I shouldn't have. I unfortuantly have dumping almost every day because of some stupid food that I wasn't supposed to eat, but I am still trying. My food will not get the best of me this time!!! So, life is not always PEACHY!!! But, for the most part, life is great. I still have a hard time seeing the changes even though it is so obvious to everyone else. I actually have people come into my office that knew me before and argue with me that I am not the same person that they worked with before. I literatly have to pullout my before pics to prove to them who I am! And of course, everyone who knows what I go through (good & bad) they always ask me if it was worth it and would I do it again. I would do it again in a heartbeat!!! No question about it!!! Well, better run. Before I go though, I want to leave you all with a thought that my best friend sent to me & it seems to bring me back to reality...:

Do not spoil what you have, by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once amoung things only
hoped for...
Good luck to all and if anyone would like to talk, please feel free to email me.
Angel

08/06/04

Well, Well, Well, where do I start?
As I have said before, everything is diffent. It has been a little over two years now and I feel great. I am scheduled for a panelectomy (hope I spelled that right) for December/ January. I can't wait. I'm scared, but it will be sooo nice after it is done. I really haven't lost any more weight, but that is fine. If I never lose another pound, I'm fine with that, after all I have lost 150 pounds!!! I feel great. It's a whole nother world... I keep wondering if I will ever forget what it feels like to be fat, but now that I think about it, I really don't want to forget. After all, that's who I am...
I will write again soon when I have time...