"I MADE IT TO THE CENTURY MARK"
For most recent posts, scroll down
1-10-04 I have my "application review" appointment set for January 21st!
I am so excited. Please Lord, please let me go through this safely.
1-21-04 - spent the day at the application review appt. Did psych exam (they don't think I'm nuts), got list of "to do's" to get started on with the doctor and at home things to do. Will keep you posted. Had to pay $800 for 3 day weekend workshop on eating disorders. OUCH!
1-26-04 - Went to see the "Divine One" last night...Miz Midler!! MY GOODNESS! She is amazing!! She get more beautiful the older she gets. I had 3rd row center stage seats. She has more energy than I think I have EVER had! Wow. Thanks Pam! Love ya! Missed you at the concert!
2-1-4 - Loving this website!! I have no real news yet, as I don't have my appt with my PCP until Friday. That's when I'll ask for the different tests I need to have done, pulmonary flow test, ekg, etc. Just got done with an extraordinarily stressful 2 mos. at work. Now, the goal has to be getting as far ahead as I can, so I can leave at a moment's notice... I am so excited. I am also ready to quit eating poorly. I am looking forward to a little bit of food filling me up, instead of eating a bit, realizing it is not enough and hunting for more. Only thing is that more is usually something not healthy.
I have been reading the message board alot, and really love the support offered. It's really great.
Well, until next time...see ya!
2-6-04 Ok..bit of a bummer today. I went to PCP to ask for several of the tests required by surgeon. I did obtain my EKG, THS, H-pylori terin. However, I also had him listen to my lungs, since I had had bronchitis this week. Well... I was wheezing BAD! (I have had asthma all my life) So... although he knows it will delay the process, he had to put me on prednisone. This could hold things up for a full month or two.
But, I agree with his point, they will not do surgery if I am wheezing. Sigh...
Oh well, I REALLY do want to be in the best possible condition for the surgery. I went back to Jenny Craig last night, cuz I keep hearing people say they have had to be on a diet for "x" number of weeks before surgery.. No one told me to do this, just trying to be proactive. Now..mind you, I am using Jenny as a supplement to my normal food. Now, I will have a healthy breakfast as opposed to going to Burger King every morning and getting those demonic biscuits!!
Had to pay $70 for the H Pylorie test (not diagnosed, which makes it not medically necessary, therefore not covered. This is a test to determine if you have bacteria in the stomach that could cause ulcers. (total out of pocket so far $870 EEK!)
So...next is, PCP referring me to pulmonologist, to try and get asthma under better control. Also, while there, I will obtain the Pulmonary Flow Test, another item on my checklist.
MOVING ON!! :-)
2-10-04 - Grumble Grumble!!
Called the Pulmonologist - cannot get in until 3-4-03. Rats.
Ok.. ok... that is still within the month that I have to wait for the steroid to wear off, but that means I cannot even send in my insurance paperwork until well after that. My PCP has advised he will not even sign the letter stating he will remain my PCP after surgery until he gets clearance from all other docs. So....that means pulmonologist in March, whatever time it takes to do what I have to do there... then back to the PCP for clearance letters, THEN back to bariatric center to have paperwork to insurance...THAT's if there are no more glitches along the way.
I TRULY want to be as healthy as possible, and I know that means it may be a little while longer...it's just a bummer..
On the other hand... I am going to see Rod Stewart tonight! Pam can't go, so Jeannie is going with. WOO HOO...3rd row center stage. Thanks again Pam!! Love ya girl!
2-11-04 (around 2am)
So Mr. Mr. DJ...Keep thooose records playing... cuz I'm havin'.. such a good time... dancin' with my baby... We're having a party...everybody's swinging, dancing to the music...on the radiooooo....
MAN O' MAN!! We went to the show in Atlanta, and I had FREE 3rd row CENTER STAGE seats. It was amazing!!!
AND...my friend that went with me..(always has had a great figure....grumble grumble) tossed a leopard print thong up on the stage...
HE LOVED IT!! He picked it up and swirled it all around.!! HA HA HA!!
Then after all the good ol' "Hot Rod" faves..they set the stage up like an old 40's band set, and he came out in tails ...and sang "As Time Goes By", and "The Way You Look Tonight" plus others from his American Songbook.... He was awesome....
I took pics..I hope they come out!
Well... I will move along... Just so pumped up with energy and it's 1:30am here and NO ONE to share my enthusiasm with !!!!
HOT LEGS you're an alley cat!!! HOT LEGS you can scratch my back...HOT LEGS bring your mother too! I LOVE YOU HONEY!!!!
What a blast!
Another Valentine's come and gone. I had the biggest pity party (not crying, whining or anything) just eating to the point of disgust! I have had an upset stomach all weekend as a result.
I almost spent the whole thing in the bed/couch...but did manage to get off my duff and into the office on Sunday to meet deadlines I had. Keith made my Valentine's day late, after his date with Lindsay. He came in with a handful of V-Day goodies, a stuffed animal, a picture frame, card and rose. It all looked like the stuff Lindsay would have given him. I told him, "Looks like you made out pretty good!" He says, "Nah...the rose and card are for you." That was it...I was squalling...
The card was awesome, and he even signed it from BOTH him and Christopher.
I LOVE MY BOYS SO MUCH!! I want so badly to be more of a part of their life. I think they think I am just lazy. I don't think they really realize what it takes to drag all this weight around.
I am so ready to have this surgery and get healthy.
Til next time...
It's been a hectic couple of weeks. Between work and home, it's a wonder I have any hair left to lose when I have the surgery.
I have found out my H-Pylori is negative! YAY! I went to my weekend workshop, and now I just have to have the pulmonologist to clear me.
Delays...discord...frustration.... can you tell it's a full moon? I can!
Delays...thought I was going to have my Pulmonary Function Test on Thursday. Nope. I went to the Doctor and he scheduled my PFT for the 17th, and I can't get back into him until April 1.
So...even if I were offered a late May date, I would have to turn it down, as my son is graduating high school, and I am having a party for him.
Discord....MAN! Women in my office just can't seem to mind their own business! So, after stirring up the shit for long enough, it blows up all around me. Gets EVERYONE upset. WHAT A FREAKING MESS! Why do people feel the need to upset someone else's day by sticking their nose where it doesn't belong??
Frustration...I can't seem to stop eating! My house is a mess. Work is stressful. Argh.
Ok...Pity Party OVER!!! All crummy feelings OUT THE DOOR!!!
I'm watching L.A. Story with Steve Martin. Never seen it before. Cute!
EEK! Keith says it smells like smoke upstairs..gotta go!
(no smoke....disaster averted!)
Man! What a month! Before March is over, I will have been to
Carrollton, Newnan, Columbus, West Point, Augusta, Madison, Covington, Albany, Thomasville and Waycross. AND THAT'S JUST GEORGIA!!! Also included are Ft. Lauderdale, Jupiter, Port St. Lucie and Vero Beach in Florida. WHEW!! That is 2700 miles! Dang! No wonder I'm tired!
Still eating like nuts. I truly want to slow down. PLEASE let's get going on this surgery! I can't get back into the pulmonologist until 4-1! Now it's looking more and more like June. I still have to resolve the Pulmonology on 4-1, then, back to PCP to get clearance letter. While the doctor is fantastic, the clerical staff is kinda slow, so I will have to stay on top of them for my letter. I also have to make sure I got psych clearance from the workshop. THEN, I can send everything in for insurance submission. THEN, into the surgeon. Even if they offer a late May date, I will not be able to accept, as Keith graduates in May. I want to be fully functional for that day. That is his time to shine, not mine.
When I went for my psych evaluation, they suggested I go to a psychiatrist to make sure my meds were properly dosed for their full effectiveness. Since I couldn't afford the psychiatrist associated with my program, I saw a doctor on my insurance plan.
I went in and discussed what was going on in my world, and her comment to me was "You know you are an anesthesiologist's WORST NIGHTMARE!!"
I said, "I beg your pardon?"
"Yes, with your asthma and your weight."
Uh...Thanks? I think? Because surely she was trying to make me FEEL BETTER????? GOOD GRIEF!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks so much!
Yeah, cuz I haven't researched the crap out of this, and am VERY well aware of the fact that the morbidy rate is much more increased for asthmatics. DAMN! That really torks me off!
So, she gives me this medicine that is supposed to help me lose weight. Topamax. (Sounds like a brand of tampons!LOL!!) Anyway, I have done research on this med, and I am not so sure about it either. Good Grief.
On a lighter note, if I can get through today and tomorrow at work (ULTRA HECTIC) I get to leave and go to spring training in Ft. Lauderdale for 5 days. BEACH AND BASEBALL!! THANK YOU LORD!!
Haven't posted in a while...incredibly busy! GOOD-NESS!!!
Well, have had the pulmonary function test done. The pulmonologist cleared me on 4-1-04. Now, have to wait until he types up the clearance letter to go to my PCP, so HE can type up a clearance letter to go to the surgeon's office. I think I will call the surgeon this week, as I have been told by Connie (the lady who was in charge of making sure I had gathered everything together), that she has forwarded all my info on over to the surgeon. However, I have not heard another word. She also tells me there is no waiting list at this time. While that is FABULOUS, I have 2 problems. 1) I obtained some sort of $(*$%&!!(!((*)!@@! rash while staying in one of the gazillion hotels I stayed in during my March travels. As a result, the doc gives me what?? YUP!! STEROIDS AGAIN!!! That's another 30 day wait. 2) Now...we would be getting into the "MAY" timeline, and my oldest graduates from High School on May 26th, and I am having a party on May 29th. (I've probably mentioned that before...please forgive the "sometimers disease".) Gotta be healthy for that.
Sigh...... Frustrated, excited, scared, optimistic, pessimistic, anxious, exhausted, impatient. Those would be the current gammit (sp?) of emotions right now.
Gotta run. I've been living in this damn office all freaking day, and it's hot, and I am sick of it. I only came in because Angie said she was coming in, and I thought I would show her some support. Guess what??? SHE DIDN'T FRICKIN SHOW!!!!!!!
So, I figure, well, I'm here now...might as well make the best of it. Of course, with me, that means an "all-day-er" cuz I get started and in a zone, and don't want to quit. Got a lot done, but very over it now.
Now I owe Christopher some good "MOM" time, we are gonna go see "50 First Dates" with Adam Sandler. He has once again, been home all day, while mom sits in this stupid office...course, it DOES pay the bills.
Gonna go see my baby now!!! HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!!
I HAVE A HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so proud of both of my boys! Wow! Today was emotional for me. Keith graduated today and Christopher jumped right into life as a high schooler, by helping out in the bandroom. What wonderful young men I have. Lord thank you so much for my blessings.
(Also, dad & Lee were really cool today at lunch. Lord, thank you for small victories!)
I HAVE A DATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW I AM SCARED SHITLESS! (sorry to anyone reading this....truth ain't pretty, it just is.)
July 13, 2004. Lord, please watch over me and my children.
5-31-04 Happy Memorial Day - God Bless all those who serve for our country, and the families that have to endure long or permanent absences of their loved ones.
As you can tell, I have not been updating regularly. This has been an exhausting couple of months. Work has been extremely hectic, and stressful due to a personality conflict. I'll not type more in case this person should ever read this, but I will say this to that person. I empathize with the stresses in your life, but when you attack other people when you feel slighted, you are totally not thinking of the stresses going on in those other people's lives. AND, when you act that way towards them, with hurting words and tones, and berating them not only face to face, but also to management you just add to their personal pain. You expect us to feel your pain, but you don't have the decency to step back and think of the pain we might be feeling. As you go forward in your life, remember to think of the pain others may feel as well.
Ok enough of that.
In addition to craziness at work, school has come to a close, it has been a real race to the finish for Christopher. I am so happy that he has made some real improvement. He is such an amazing young man. I pray one day he will realize his gift and be proud of his intelligence instead of trying to hide it to be cool. I am so proud of you and I love you kiddo!
With the close of this school year, comes graduation for Keith. Oh MY GOSH... I could not be prouder of this kid.
I had to get graduation notices out, party invitations done, pictures made, party stuff together, money money money!! Where does it come from? I don't know...we'll find a way.
The ceremony was wonderful. I believe Keith's name was the 2nd most often mentioned, next to the class valedictorian! She mentioned him in her speech, and he performed the 2004 class song, which he co-wrote. I figured it would make me cry, but silly me, that kid always finds a way to make things so entertaining, that you can't squall! They were on the big jumbo-tron, and talked the singer into PICKING HIS NOSE! OMG!!!
WHAT A HOOT! He graduated with honors. So proud. We had the party, which turned out to be a great success. I made a picture board for Keith. I had such a great time with it.
In addition to the positive stress from graduation, I had the pairing of my dad and his brother, whom have not spoken for years. There was a riff years prior, but I love them both and I wanted my whole family at the graduation. I started out by stressing very intensely over this. I was very flush and felt like I couldn't breath. As I was walking with them to my seat, and was just about to take ownership of their problems, I told myself, that this was my day with my son, and if they could not put the pettiness aside for this day, then they could sit over there and scratch each other's eyes out for all I cared. I was focusing on my kid. I don't know who I was fooling though, because when we finally got to lunch, and I sat down to eat for the first time of the day, I found that I was very nauseous, and really wasn't hungry. Guess it really got to me worse than I realized.
Back to work the next day, boy, I hate what happens when you are out for ONE DAY! I walked into a buzz saw at 8 am, and didn't quit until 9 pm, then was back in at 6:30 the next morning. Insanity. But when I start thinking how miserable it is, I remind myself that I enjoy working here so much more than places in the past...
In the midst of all this, one of my 2 best girlfriends has had a very intense personal issue, and has needed quite a bit of emotional support. It's not that I don't love her to the ends of the earth, and would always be there for her, it's just I, personally am exhausted, emotionally and physically. I sometimes wonder how much more I have to give to anyone.
Now the focus is figuring out where the money to send Keith to college is going to come from. I am so ignorant to this process, and frankly, I don't know how I am going to do it, but we will find a way. This scares me. Keith totally has earned this school, and I know he will not waste the opportunities he will receive there. I just have to figure out how this is going to happen. As if that weren't enough, his dad is being very difficult to work with, as far as helping. He told me "FU" when I asked him to make a committment in writing to Keith to financial assistance. I would never have asked that if I thought he was trustworthy enough to make a regular committment.
NOW... I have to start focusing on making myself the healthiest I can be before my surgery. I am thrilled but scared. I know this is very normal. However, I cannot wait until I am just an "AVERAGE" person again! How many people do you know that just want to average? I DO!! I am so tired of being abnormal, that I can't wait to be merely average.
I have to get my house cleaned up, cuz with my body in the shape it is, I am absolutely too tired to clean when I get home. Just standing at the washer and dryer have my back hurting so bad that I can't stand it.
WELL...Guess I had some emotional dumping to do, huh?
I had originally come on here to make a list of the things I was going to look forward to when I was a thinner person, and out poured all this junk! I feel like crying now.
NO TIME FOR TEARS!!
Here's the list!
Things to look forward to when I am "Average".
-Back doesn't hurt constantly
-Kids don't think mom is "Jabba the Hut" sitting on the couch all the time.
-I will be able to enjoy my vacations more, cuz I will be able to get around better.
-Asthma will hopefully improve.
-I can reach my toes and take better care of my feet.
-I can participate more with Christopher's interest.
-I can keep a better house, cuz I will not tire so easily.
-When I eat, if something falls off my eating utensil, it will actually hit the napkin that I put in my lap. It won't hit my shirt right where my boobs are!! (I always have stains there! I HATE THAT!)
-I won't always be the biggest parent in the group.
-I won't have to make the joke "Hey! Fat asthmatic" when walking with people that I can't keep up with.
-Being able to cross my legs.
-When I fly (I hope not much, cuz I hate it), I won't have to ask for the belt extender.
-When I drop something on the floor in front of me, being able to look down and see something besides my gut. THEN, actually being able to bend over and pick it up, instead of asking someone to pick it up for me.
-Being able to sit in a booth at a restaurant and not having to shove the table halfway up the throat of my friends.
-Being able to "sllliiiide" onto a barstool, instead of HOISTING myself.
-Being able to wear sleeveless shirts without feeling self conscious.
-Wearing my rings on the appropriate fingers instead of wearing 2 on the finger that they fit on.
Being able to sit up after lying flat on doctor's table. Good GRIEF!! When I did pre-op today, 2x I was flat on a table, and when they say, "ok, you can get up now"...
Walking with out waddling
Getting rid of all the fat around my neck. It makes it difficult to have a conversation with someone that is not directly in front of you.
I look forward to being able to sit in my recliner with it pushed back, and not feeling like my breath is cut off from the fat under my chin, when I am looking at the tv.
I look forward to using the "pointy" end of the ironing board when ironing my clothes, instead of always using the wide square end, just to get more fabric ironed at a time!
I look forward to not having to sit every 5-10 minutes whenever I go shopping because my back hurts so bad!
Saying goodbye to Catherine's, Lane Bryant, Added Dimensions and The Avenue AND their credit cards!!!!
I want to be able to walk up to a jewelry counter (even if it's cheap stuff) and try on any ring I want, cuz my fingers are small enough!!
I'm ready to go to my BRAVES games again!! I have given away most of my last few sets of tickets, cuz I am too miserable to try to walk all over Turner Field. Now if you know me, you know that that is JUST WRONG!!!
I'll add more later.
Only 3 more weekends to go before the day!! Got to have a consultation with Dr. Richard. I really enjoyed meeting him.
He was very patient and answered all my questions.
I felt much better after this consult. Originally, I was not scheduled to meet him until 4 days prior to surgery. I called the office, and requested a consult. They were very obliging.
Wow! Two posts from me in as many days! I am sitting here at my desk on a Sunday evening AT WORK! I am soooo stressed about getting everything done before I go out on leave. Here's the weird part though...
My house is a FREAKING MESS and I KNOW I have to get it cleaned up before surgery, because Jeannie, and JoAnn and Tina all plan to come by (and who knows who else) and I have absolutely NO DESIRE to work on it! What is wrong with me that I would rather be in the sweaty hot, no air conditioned office, than at home, washing clothes?
Another weekend gone....another weekend that I ignored the house.
It's gonna hit eventually, right? I sure hope that I will have all this newfound energy I keep hearing about, and I won't mind doing housework nearly as bad as I do now... I am so miserable just standing for a very few minutes at the washing machine, much less dragging my fat-ass up and down the steps.
I know the boys think I am sooooo lazy, and I swear, if I felt better, I would work harder.
Ok..time to quit whining, and go pick up one of my last entrees from Macaroni Grill that awaits me.
Lord, Please watch over me and my children as I go through this. Please guide the surgeon's hands and allow my body to heal normally. Please allow me to learn to eat all the things I am supposed to, in order to keep my body healthy as I go through this progression. Please allow my mental health to stay positive, even while I am mourning my food.
I love my family and my friends, and I don't want to do anything to hurt anyone else.
I heard this today and loved it...so, I looked it up and wanted it on my profile.
I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
I wish I could break all the chains holding me
I wish I could say all the things that I should say
say 'em loud, say 'em clear
for the whole round world to hear.
I wish I could share all the love that's in my heart
remove all the bars that keep us apart
I wish you could know what it means to be me
Then you'd see and agree
that every man should be free.
I wish I could give all I'm longing to give
I wish I could live like I'm longing to live
I wish that I could do all the things that I can do
though I'm way overdue I'd be starting anew.
Happy Independence Day!
I Have An Angel!!
Tonya L. of Warner Robins, who coincidentally, will be having her surgery the day after mine, is going to be my angel. THANKS SO MUCH TONYA!!
Well, I made a MAJOR dent in the laundry and my messy room!!
Will work on it again next weekend. I did more laundry than a chinese laundromat!!
Today was pre-op. Man! I'm beat! And my poor Aunt JoAnn was such a trooper today... Bless her heart...she sat with me from 11:15 until 2:15 at the Doctor's office...YES...3 FREAKING HOURS...2 of that was just waiting to get through the door. My appt was at 11:30, we got there 11:15 and I finally got called in at 1:15!! However, Dr. Richard was AWESOME! When I got the instructions for pre-op, the suggestion was to bring a family member...(not really sure why, other than if you have someone to talk to you will not SHOOT any of the office staff for the ridiculous waits!! LOL!)
...so I asked my aunt JoAnn, if she wanted to come and ask the doc any questions, since she has been so concerned over the surgery. Dr. Richard was so tolerant of all our questions..(mine too), answered each, and never made us feel rushed or silly for any question asked. Then he checked out my tummy in the areas where there will be incisions. Then he checked my legs for possible clotting problems. He listened to my lungs and deemed them "clear".
Anyway, we finally left the doc's at 2:15 and wandered over to the hospital.
At the hospital, they did an EKG, they took blood, (it took the girl 2x to find a vein in my arm..ick. They did a chest x-ray, asked a BUNCH of questions, had a guy from anesthesia come down and take blood from the artery right under the area where you wear your watch..OUCH!! to check for blood gases - they want to see how much oxygen you have in your blood, I talked to a doctor from anesthesia, gave a urine specimen...(They made carry my pee all around the stupid hospital in a little CLEAR plastic bag... I felt like Richard Pryor..."Here's my piss..thank U!" LOL!!) and I signed a bazillion forms.
Once we got to the hospital, they moved things right along, and we were there only a couple of hours..not so bad..
Finally left, went back and picked Christopher up, as Uncle Lee had taken him and cousin Robbie out on the boat at Lake Lanier. He got to go tubin'! He loved it.
Then... of to meet Jeannie for my last "Friday Night Dinner" as I know it today. We will still meet, but my dinner will be markedly changed.
Came home... and for the 2nd night in a row, I was up at 3am, not able to sleep...whatz wit dat???
Went and had a final pancake/french toast breakfast with dad and Christopher. Yum... I told Christopher if he would help me finish my room, I would take him to rent a couple of video games. (I have put a moratorium on rentals, cuz I usually wind up paying UNBELIEVABLE late fees...)
When we got home from breakfast, I was ready for a nap...but he was ready to get done with my room. He is normally not motivated like that so I went on ahead.. He was SO MUCH HELP!
There were things I have not been able to pick up for so long due to the weight. I gave him a basket, and asked him if he would keep filling the basket for me, I would sort through it and put things up. The only thing left to do now is change the sheets and vacuum.
Very Frustrated...went into the office to get all kinds of loose ends together and the code on the door no longer worked!!! STRESS STRESS!!
Went to Walmart and loaded up on all the items my AMOS family says will be the best things for me to eat when I get home.
Got s/f popsicles, s/f jello and pudding, broths, skim milk, carb countdown (I can't remember what else) to start.
I got B12/calcium citrate/multivitamin.
Got some sippy cups, baby spoons and some really cute disposable saucer size plates.
A pill chopper, measuring cups and spoons, strainer and a blender.
Got some new bedroom slippers for the hospital.
It's late and I'm pooped.
Got as much done at work as possible, everyone at work was very kind and supportive. I was overwhelmed by the people that called today. Besides all my agents, who have been nothing short of amazing, my old boss from Ohio called, friends from 2 past jobs, friends I haven't heard from in a while over the AIM... awesome. I feel so amazingly blessed. Pair all of that up with my AMOS family, and I couldn't feel more loved.
Tomorrow, (which is really today now...it's 1:30 am) I will have a whole crew with me. My 2 boys, dad, Jeannie, Aunt Jo and Tina. How lucky am I???
Dad heard a bad report on Gastric today and he is worried. I tried to make him feel better, and he is supportive of my surgery, but it really rattled him today.
I am putting my bag together. Taking slippers, gown, personal hygiene items and CPAP. Nick suggested I not take much, as they are not going to let me wear my own clothes for a while.
Just finished shower, and now I am wishing on sleep!
See you on the other side!!!
Lord, thank you for all the blessings you have allowed thus far. Your generosity and love never ceases to amaze me. Please allow me to come through this surgery safely and recover healthily. Please ease the minds of my family and friends. I thank you for each and every one of them.
Ok...finally, time to update the surgery experience....
so..a little step back in time - to quote Wayne & Garth...
"Dida-la Dida-la Dida-la~~~~~~~~"
Tuesday Morning - 7-13 - I couldn't sleep again...I think I finally went to sleep around 3am...and I was suppose to leave around 5 am...Tina wanted me to call her and wake her up, so she wouldn't forget.
Fast forward to 5:06..YIKES!!!! NO ONE IS UP and Jeannie will be here in 9 minutes!!! I'm draggin' the kids out of the bed...
Off we go....Jeannie & me in her car (I drove) and Keith & Christopher behind us. I figured, as usual, I would be the last to get there, as I am ALWAYS late (this time, not my fault...promise!! The boys needed a hefty nudge...it WAS 5am in the summer afterall, and then they felt the need to fight over a cd player...GOOD GRIEF!)
Anyway, we get there, Aunt JoAnn is there, but that's it...I BEAT DAD SOMEWHERE!! YIPPEE!!!
We get in and they take me right away to a room, to change, and to scrub my tummy with some cleanser. They gave me a robe to change into and set up my IV and gave me a breathing treatment.
Then, they let everyone back in the room with me - first, Keith & Christopher and Tina (Who wore her Padres jersey with "Klesko 30" on the back...mwuah!
Then dad, Jeannie & JoAnn. eventually, we just brought them all in and had the whole gang in the room...
Finally, they come and take me to the operating room. Surgery time was 7:30. I remember one of my nurses being all perky and bouncing around, saying "I'm gonna be your nurse!!" Love it! Fun people!! Next thing I remember, they put the mask on my face and that was it boys and girls!...........
I do not know what time I woke up, but I do remember the first thing I asked was "did I get the laporascopic?" and I was told no, they had to open me up. I wasn't upset or anything, cuz I had total faith in my doc and knew if he needed to open me, there was a good reason.
I think I was finally in my room with visitors around 1pm...
The first day was basically spend sleeping, having my loved ones around, (Whom I cannot thank enough! It was so wonderful to have so much support.I love you all so much!) and being poked and prodded by the nurses. I had to do deep breaths with a spirometer every 30 minutes. Jeannie stayed over night with me. She was amazingly helpful. She became the respiratory Nazi and made me do that damn thing every 30 mins...but I forgive her cuz, she also hit the Morphine Pump every 30 mins or so!! YEAH BABY!!!
I gotta give a shout out to my nurse Linda, who was absolutely WONDERFUL!!! I had the best care. I feel so blessed.
I got up and walked that first night. The hardest time I had was sleeping the first evening. I was so uncomfortable. I don't know what was wrong with me, but about 2am, I woke up just bawling my eyes out, that I was miserable and couldn't get comfortable. Next thing I know, Marie (My nickname for Jeannie...it's her middle name) had gone and gotten the nurse to give me something that "was gonna put my d**k in the ground!"
Well, she was right!! The nurse came and put something in the IV and honey, that was it...i was a goner. THANK GOD!
2nd day, I got to shower, have some of the IV's removed as well as the catheter. I slept MUCH better that night.
Third day...my temp kept going up and down and up and down.
Finally, around 5pm, the doc was satisfied it was satisfactory and let me come home. YIPPEE!
The first week consisted of clear broths, s/f popsicles and s/f jello and water. After about the 4th day, I could add full liquids, so I added tomato soup and crystal lite.
I went back to the doc yesterday (7-21-04) and had the drain removed! YIPPEE!!! Here's a pointer for anyone considering WLS and reading this....it feels VERY weird and your side is sore for a while after it is removed. I took a dose of my pain medicine before I went. It didn't hurt at ALL, just felt bizarre!
Best News of ALL? I HAD LOST 20 Pounds!! If you count the 8/9 pounds I had gained post op, it was closer to about 25 pounds!!
Since I was now released to eat soft FOOD...Jeannie, Keith & I went to TGIFridays... I had a part of a piece of grilled chicken and a little bit of mashed potatoes. YYYYYUUUUMMMMYYY!!!!
Ok....here we are...back to the present...
"Dida-la Dida-la Dida-la~~~~~~~~"
I'm doing great, feeling good, and looking forward what I am going to look like from week to week.
It's still difficult fighting the head hunger. It's also unnerving trying new things and being afraid to try something new...however, it's not so bad. I'll get used to it.
I just have to say..I couldn't be more proud of my boys...they were wonderful, being with me all day, and even as out of it as I was for my first walk, they had me by each arm, and escorted me down the hall & back...so great. Thank you so much guys. MWUAH!!
Thank you Jeannie, for being there constently. She spent the night with me both nights, and I know that couch thing was miserable. She watched over my meds, made sure I breathed, kept my room tidy, drove me home, took Christopher to band practice the first week, went to the grocery store, etc. etc. etc... WHAT WOULD I HAVE DONE WITHOUT YOU!!!
Christopher, you were absolutely amazing that first week I was home.. My 14 yr old took great care of me... he brought his little tv and video games up into the living room and played them with his headset on, so he could be there if I needed anything. He cleaned the house before I got home and cut the grass. He was there to help me with the recliner if I needed it, carried things I couldn't lift, cleaned up, set his cell phone alarm to go off and remind me to use my spirometer, and gave me hugs and kisses whenever it looked like I could use one.
Keith would do grocery shopping and would bring home food for Christopher when I needed it. ( He was also working full time during this period.) Thank you so much...Duz Luv!
Dad, thanks for coming to the rescue with a blender that CRUSHES ice!! My dad is always there when there is "rescue-ing" to be done!! LOVE YOU!
JoAnn, Thanks so much for the endless hours at the doctors office and the company you provided. You have been there at many VERY crucial times for me, and you just have no idea how important you are to me. And thanks to Lee for taking Christopher to the lake with you the day that JoAnn and I spent. I'm sure we had WAY more fun waiting at the doc's office than you guys tubin' on the lake!
Lord, thank you for hearing my prayers and the prayers of those who love me. I pray that I will continue to use this tool in the way I have been instructed, without taking it for granted and slipping back into old ways. I thank you for bringing me through the surgery. Amen.
I went back to work this week. I was glad for the mental stimulization, (cuz the most brainwork I was getting at home was JEOPARDY!, online jigsaw puzzles and playing GIN with Jeannie online. OH YEAH!! We went to the Legion Hall and played BINGO one night...What a HOOT!)
I went back into work Wednesday. Man, I have sat around this house for 3 weeks, just bored out of my brains, but going to sit at the office, wore me out!! Why is that? Hmmm...
Next day, I went in late, cuz had to get Christopher set up at the high school. Stayed until about 5:00. I had so much energy Thursday night, that I called Jeannie and talked her into going walking with me at Discover Mills. We walked the ENTIRE oval of that mall (which is HUGE!!) I must have overdone it though, cuz by the time we got done, my incision area was hurting....sure didn't have the same bounce in my step coming out, as I did going in!! HA!
Anyway, WHAT A THRILL!! Just a mere 4 weeks ago, I would have barely made it from the car across the parking lot before I was searching for a place to sit, cuz my back hurt so bad! To be able to walk at ALL, much less walk the entire mall was a HUGE deal for me... how wonderful. I am looking forward to many more "Guess what I did for the first time in a looonnngg time" moments!!
Well, it's late, and I should get in the bed!! NIGHT!!!
Lord, thank you for answered prayer! I did well through surgery and I am doing well through recovery. I pray for continued improvement and a continually improving mindset regarding food.
Busy month!! Went back to work, spent 3 days at an industry seminar, moved my oldest son to Nashville for college, and have been to 2 Duluth Wildcat (DOO-LOOTH Wildcats) football games to watch my youngest son in the marching band.
Went back to work on 8-4-04 -
The day before my birthday, my friend had a tummy tuck, had the girls lifted and lipo done on the inside of her thighs...
I got to the hospital about 7am that morning and didn't leave until about 6pm. Then went back around 7 and left at almost 9.
She looks great, but feels like crap.
Had a 3 day course for insurance world..THAT's how I spent my 42nd birthday! YAWN!!
It was a course in "Everything You NEVER Wanted To Know About Insurance And Couldn't Be BOTHERED To Ask!"
However, did get to hang out with 3 of my friends from my old job...great folks and I miss them all.
Three long days at the insurance course...8 hours each.
Friday afternoon, 1 month doctor appt.. Everything looks great. He did an ultrasound on my legs, cuz I had some cramping in one of my legs...wanted to make sure no blood clots.. none found.
A biggie this month...dropped under the HORRIBLE 300 lb mark! YIPPEE!! Never going back!
The day after the insurance hell, was the day we moved my oldest to college! OH I cannot stand it!!
We drove to the college, unpacked boxes, sorted and put away. Then I took him to Target and I do believe every college student in the state of Tennessee was there!! WHOA!!!!!!!!!
Back home and back to work.
That friday, was to be our company picnic, but I got a call from a friend telling me that my dear friend Charlene's husband had been in a horrific auto accident. He was lifeflighted to Atlanta Medical. I left work and went to the hospital, and went back on the following Wednesday. Sadly, Nat passed away on Sept. 4th. My poor Char is literally broken to bits. Funeral home on the 5th & 6th, funeral on the 7th. Sigh. This sucks so bad.
Changed some of my territory at work, and have a different assistant and a new cubicle.
High school football started, my youngest asked a cute girl to "go with him". He's a freshman and she's a senior. OH LAWD!
2nd month anniversary!!
I am down 65 pounds from my "come home" weight after surgery!
10 weeks out - 70 pounds lost!
I couldn't be happier!! What OTHER diet have I been on that helped me lose an average of 7 pounds a week!?!
I feel good. I have more energy than I have had in soooooo long.
I am more involved with my kids. I am getting more work done, etc. etc., etc.,....
Went to dinner with the OH Georgia Girls & Guy last night.
It is sooo cool.. I really enjoy meeting the folks I talk to on a regular basis. It's also a real trip to watch the faces of people when they see a table of about 20 people who are for the most part all pretty overweight. Then, to top that..it cracks me up, cuz you can almost see the waiter mentally buying a new car...figuring all the food we are going to buy...and then we all buy small meals AND ask for to go boxes!! LOL!!
Here's a pic of me from last night...down from 340 at my highest to current 275.
Hi Folks! Been a crazy couple of weeks! Work is better..got a new assistant..seem to be doing pretty well with her. I hope she feels the same way.
We had our fall festival in town, and my oldest came home UNBEKNOWNST to me and surprised me!! I was SOOOOO excited. It was a well needed surprise, because we had not seen eye to eye the week before. We had words, and I felt sick over it. When I walked around the corner and saw him sneak out from behind his pals and run up and hug me, I acted like such a sappy MOM fool!! I squealed, hugged him forever and cryed like a baby!
I walked more at the festival than I have in 10 years! It was WONDERFUL!!
After the festival, I left and went to the wedding of one of my friend's daughters. The ceremony was absolutely gorgeous and I ran in to a man that had had the surgery 2 years ago. He has lost 218 pounds!!! WOW!! His driver's license picture was VASTLY different from the way he looks now!
Had lunch with Keith before he left to go back to school, and he has been better about calling me. THAT's more like it! LOL!
On the diet front...I've hit one of the dreaded plateaus I have read so much about. Although I know it will pass, it is still frustrating. However, I HAVE lost 73 pounds, and I NEED to get a measuring tape out, cuz I KNOW I've lost inches.
Now...if you are a newbie reading this, I have a sneaking suspicion that I have eaten too many carbs this past week and that may have something to do with my stall factor...so I am going back to basics and I will let you know if that does the trick. It's easy to fall into the carb routine when you do a lot of eating out with friends, etc..
Also, I have been really tired lately, but apparently my iron level is low even WITH the supplemental I am taking. So I am doubling up on those, and have to run a special test for my doc to check. I'll post you on that also.
Clothes are getting bigger on me finally. Most of my stuff is that stretchy elastic stuff. I joke that those clothes GREW with me and now they are SHRINKING with me..however, I put on an outfit yesterday that literally swallowed me whole. It was a great feeling.
I have worn a bracelet for years that is REALLY an anklet, but I couldn't get bracelets on my wrists. Well, I have FINALLY been able to put the anklet where it BELONGS! YAY!!!
Ok..time to go for now. Fill you on more soon! TTFN!
Well shame on me!! It has been WAYYYYYYYYYYY too long since I have posted. WOWZA has life changed. I feel amazing. I am down 98 pounds (very frustrated waiting for those 2 magical pounds to go away so I can say I have lost 100!!) clothes are fitting that have been in my closet forever, so, it's like I have new wardrobe! Men are beginning to show an interest in me, and as much as I would like to say I am offended that no one would have looked before, but now they do, even I have to admit, if I were a guy, I would NOT have been attracted to me before either. Feeling great. I do notice that I can eat a little more than before, which is a concern to me.. I don't WANT to be able to eat more!
The holidays have bothered me more than I had anticipated. I have done SO great not being upset about the donuts in the office, or missing birthday cake, etc...but it seems since Halloween, and there are candy jars EVERYWHERE I turn, and they are stocked with my favorite chocolates, the impulse is to reach right in and have one. However, I absolutely positively will NOT try to eat candy or heavy sugar foods, more for fear that I CAN eat them without getting sick, than the fear of getting sick.
I am eating chicken, eggs, some pasta (sometimes..very rare) porkchops, mashed potatoes, still drinking my unjury protein shake,ham, turkey, green beans, baked beans, soups, jellos, puddings (s/f of course) and the like.
I had to up my iron intake and my b-12 intake as I was getting VERY run down. I take iron, b-12, multivitamins (flintstones) biotin, and all my asthma and antidepression meds.
Keith is home this weekend from college, he has a full beard, as it is NO SHAVE NOVEMBER at school...he looks pretty good actually. Christopher is thrilled that school is out. He is glued as usual to the video games.
I have a new assistant at work, I was very concerned at first about the change, but it has been a blessing!!! THANK YOU LORD!
My stress level has come down about 20 notches!!
Let's see..Jeannie got her boobs, Tina had her tummy tuck.
My gal Pam has still been sending me to concerts. Since August I have been to see Bette Midler AGAIN, Elton John at the Tabernacle, and we are going to see Cher and the Eagles!! LIFE IS GOOD!! Shout out to my gal Pam! She is a great friend (and NOT because of the tix!! She looks really good with body paint too!! LOL!! ;-)
Have been visiting BBW Personals and have been IM'ing with some really neat fellas, but as the song says, "I still...haven't found...what I'm looking forrrr...."
The Georgia Board has REALLY REALLY grown, and we have been having the most amazing dinners!!! The first one I went to, there were about 20 folks. When I hosted the one in Duluth, we had about 60 or more. WOWZA!
Well, at work, and have NO business playing on here, so will wrap it up... in a nutshell, loving life, looking forward to losing the next 2 pounds, which will make me only SEVERELY OBESE instead of MORBIDLY OBESE (I WAS SUPER MORBIDLY OBESE). Once I get down to 210 I will only be OBESE, and then at 179 will merely be OVERWEIGHT. WHO'DA thunk...I would LOOK FORWARD to being "overweight". At about 150 I will be normal. So..about another 92 pounds to normal!!!
Take care all!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!
2005 and I am 110 pounds lighter than I was last year! God is GOOD! I have seen amazing improvements in my physical well being and my emotional and mental well being. I have also seen maturity from both of my children. What more could I ask for in the new year?
Ok...if I were to REALLY answer that, I would say that I would like to reach goal this year. That means another 90 pounds. I would like to get financially healthier.
Christmas was great, New Years was a blast..literally. I took Christopher to South Carolina (we made a run for the border!LOL!) and bought a TON of fireworks. He had a ball shooting them off and I enjoyed watching. Keith went with Jessica to watch the Peach drop downtown. I am finishing up a well deserved 9 days away from work...back to the grind tomorrow. Tomorrow will be the worst, as my email is probably beyond full and I probably have a zillion phone messages, as well as a week full of stuff that just CAN'T wait another moment for me to be there when I return. Oh well..guess it's good to be needed.
Loving life. More later!
Thank you Lord for the blessings you have allowed me this year. I pray that I will be able to give back more this year than I have in the past.
Hello All!! Yes, yes, I know.. I SUCK! I have not updated in 10 forevers!! And SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much has been going on in my world since my last update.
Ok...let's see... I no longer wear 26/28's (I started this journey wearing 4/5 x's...and 30/32's) and this past week, I put on a pair of size 16 stretch jeans..(now depending on the cut of the pant's I have some size 18's and one pair of 22's...so it depends on the cut. Once the tummy tuck is done, it will be significantly smaller!) I wore a size LARGE shirt to work yesterday! OMG!! A large!! Not a 4x, 2x, or even XL!! A FREAKING LARGE!!!!!!!!! YEAH BABY!!!!
Let's see... oh yeah...did I mention I gotz a BOYFRIEND????
He's such a hottie!!! Everything I have always wanted wrapped up in one guy!!! He's about 6'2, big & strong, LONG HAIR, good laugh, HE KNOWS Rocky Horror, Monty Python AND...(real obscure flick reference here) Phantom of the Paradise!! I thought I was the ONLY person on earth that had watched that movie over and over as a kid!!! WOWZA! He's a big football fan, but is ok with baseball...even if he IS delusional and thinks the Phillies are gonna win the pennant this year...oh yeah...he's from Philly...
He's very Irish and VERY proud of his heritage....he gets a twinkle in his eyes when he talks of his "pop" and he's good to his mom. He met my kids, and if they made him nuts, he didn't let on, and my kids think he's pretty cool too....not as cool as I do though!! I love laughing with him, and when he says nice things to me, my heart just soars! Only bummer...he's an hour away and I can't hang at his place, cuz he has 2 cats. Cats will literally kill me in 5 minutes flat. They almost have in the past. To TRY and alleviate some of this, I start taking allery shots on Monday. It will take several months to take effect, but here's hoping! I'm trying very hard to take this slow, and just see where it leads. It's hard though, cuz something seems right about it, and I'm REALLY having to work to not let my heart get too carried away too soon.
Now..here comes the hard part....I've not been in a relationship in over 10 yrs. I had COMPLETELY resigned myself to being alone for the rest of my days. Now, that I have someone in my life, when I don't hear from him, I let my insecurities start creeping up and let my stupid ass imagination start going crazy. I have been hurt SO badly over and over again by men, that I am struggling here. I WANT a healthy wonderful relationship...now I just have to ALLOW myself to have it....not drive myself insane with situations that I make up in my head...I must learn to trust. I put an end to the others I was dating (NOT sleeping with mind you!) so that I could genuinely be trusted, and I must relax and trust that he has done the same. WHAT A LOO LOO I am, huh???
This getting back into the dating game is really strange to a gal that has been as big as a house, and probably kept a lot of that weight as a nice little defense mechanism to repulse men, and therefore keeping my heart free from pain. (I should be a shrink, don't ya think?!!LOL!)
So all the attention I am getting now, and not just from my guy, is very overwhelming...I am having to learn to accept compliments. My first reaction is to "poo poo" the compliment, as if the person giving it couldn't POSSIBLY be complimenting me...you know...big fat me....wait...I'm NOT that anymore....
This is weird.
Ok..so what have we learned here boys and girls? Tami hates being fat...she gets up the balls to go through surgery to get thin, she loses a lot, starts feeling MUCH better, and then starts drawing attention and doesn't know how to handle it....NOW WHAT? It kind of helps to put it out on the table here, so I can remind myself, that I really DO deserve to be happy, and I should not belittle the kind words that come my way, be it from my fella, or from my friends... I must learn to say THANK YOU and accept the compliment.
BASEBALL STARTS TOMORROW NIGHT!! YANKS VS. THE WORLD CHAMPION RED SOX!!! HELLLLLLLL TO THE YEAH!!
As usual, I have my opening day tix to the Braves game for Friday night, this time, it will be me, Irma (Tina) Christopher and Joe. He says he's gonna wear his Phillies gear! LOL!! Such a dreamer!
As usual, Tina & I (aka Irma & Modean) make our annual Spring Training trek! We went to Lakeland, Fl and Ft. Lauderdale.
It was a MUCH different trip than last year. Last year I was over 300 pounds. I had my surgery and Tina had a tummy tuck and boobie lift. So it was DEFINITELY 2 different ladies than those that went last year. Here's a before and after pic of us in front of the Orioles park. Same spot, last year and this year....
OH!!!!!!!! Did I mention we FINALLY got Mike Piazza's autograph????? It took forever, but it has FINALLY happened!! This was three years in the making!!
Ok..so he didn't smile...BUT WHO CARES?
I have been to see Bette Midler again since my last post. Additionally, I had FOURTH row seats to see the EAGLES!!
Probably the greatest concert I have EVER been to!! (Sorry Elton!) It was absolutely amazing. I could not talk whatsoever the next day...fabulous. They played for 3 1/2 hours.
Let's see...still working my ass off. But you wanna know the cool thing? Now, instead of coming home, and immediately plopping my ass on the couch as I did in the past, I come home, do some laundry, do some work in the kitchen, or my room, etc. I've finally brought the salt out and killed that slug that live inside me...YAY!!
My oldest will be 19 in 2 weeks. EEEEEK!!!! When did THAT happen? Holy moly!! I'm so proud of my boys... I love them so very much.
Dad had a heart attack in late January. Scared the bejeepers out of me. He then had triple bypass. It was a super stressful time. He is NOT the best patient, but thank God he got through it and is doing better and HE QUIT SMOKING! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so proud of him. He had NEVER had any type of surgery before and THIS is what he started with. He is doing SO great now, back to work, helping his kids, etc. He's great.
ok...I've fallen asleep 2x while writing this, and now it's finally daylight. I am probably going to go to the office for a little while before we go to the play today. We are going to see the Billy Joel "Movin' Out" play. It should be great.
I will not promise, but will try to update sooner next time.
To all you newer post ops....watch those carbs!! They are a weight loss killer!!!
Modean at Mulligans at Ft. Lauderdale-by-the-Sea
VACATION DAY!! Praise God! I am so burned out at work...I am going today with Joe and his great friends from Philly to Helen,Ga. today. We went to the Renaissance Festival this past weekend and had a great time. They are all such great folks. No wonder he gets a grin on his face when he talks about them.
At the bottom of this, I'll put some pics of Joe & me. Actually yesterday would have been 3 months exactly since we first met. Now, I am normally not so hung on those types of "anniversaries".... I have really had a great time with him, and I like him LOTS! (I would NEVER expect a guy to remember a silly 3 mos anniversary...I guess the only reason I do, is I have pics from our 2nd date, and they show the date on it! LOL!...PLUS we met right after Valentine's day, which makes it easy to remember.)
Been a tough month...various things...but kinda tough. However, good thing is...I am ONE POUND away from saying my weight will NEVER begin with a TWO ever again!!!!! I hope to see that goal by the weekend. I had set a personal goal of 5-15-05, which I am going to miss by about a week, but it's gonna happen! YEAH!!!!!!!!!
I had to get real with myself and get back to basics. I had fallen prey to eating too many carbs, etc., and some mindless eating in front of the tv. I have been VERY attentive to my diet and I have dropped 5 pounds this week alone. LOTS more protein, LOTS LOTS more water...LESS LESS carbs.. Back to the gym, doing the pilates, walking on the treadmill and upper arm exercises. Walking around at the Renaissance festival had to help, PLUS I have gotten where I am walking up the stairs at work. It's helping. It's working. But I have gotten to a point where I am working HARDER to get the remaining pounds off.
OH and pointer to anyone who is pre-surgery and reading this.... If you are considering eating MANY "last meals" before your surgery, ponder this.....
I am now 50 pounds away from a NORMAL BMI. 50 pounds. Prior to my surgery, I ate and ate and ate. I GAINED 40 pounds. Get where I am heading here? If I had NOT screwed around prior to surgery, I would be right about where I NEED to be. Every pound I am fighting off right now, are pounds I put on AFTER my decision to have surgery. THINK ABOUT THAT!
Ok...here are some pics below. Some of Joe (my honey) and pics from Nashville when Christopher and I went for Family Weekend at Keith's college, and our tour of Nashville.
Joe & I at the Obesity Help Macon Dinner 02-19-05
Again..at the Macon Dinner
At the Braves-Phillies Game April 23rd.
Braves beat the Phils 11-1!!! Go Braves (PHILLIES SUCK!)
Christopher & me in Nashville April 9 & 10, 2005
Keith & me in Nashville for Family Wknd
Me & my boys at breakfast at the infamous Pancake Pantry. I was NOT ALLOWED to let this be a normal picture. I had been paparazzi all weekend long, and this was my pennance! It's my favorite pic! LOL!
Until next time!
TWO TIMES IN ONE MONTH! WILL WONDERS NEVER CEASE!!
Well boys and girls....reasons to celebrate!!
I weigh....drumroll please........
ONE ninety eight!!!!!!!!
No more 3's No more 2's NEVER AGAIN!! NEVER NEVER!!
I am all alone and wanting to do a jig all around the house...I am doing the happy dance all over the place!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FRICKIN' HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok...other thing...went out to Wild Bill's last night...the hype over the bar was a bust, but had a great time... Here's a pic of Joe and I. He is SO damn hot! I love his hair down!!
Catch ya later!! Gotta go dance!!!
ONE YEAR ago, on 5-28-04, I got my approval for my surgery. I can't believe it's almost been a year since my "RE-BIRTHDAY" as we like to call it here. MAN O'MAN!! I've been SO fortunate since then. Gotta run...HEY! 3x in ONE month...I've been REALLY good on here this month! Yay ME! HA!!
Gotta tell ya folks....this gets harder the farther out you get. It is true that we cannot eat as MUCH as before, but you can definitely eat MORE than you could early on. You MUST watch what you are putting in your mouth. It's EASY to eat chips, crackers, etc., cuz once you chew them up there is not much too them, and you can get a lotin your tummy. And THEN you are still hungry.
I can DEFINITELY tell the difference when I eat all my protein and all my water. There is MUCH less hunger (head hunger/real hunger) there.
Lot going on in my world. Work is nuts...probably will be till the end of the year. Oldest is working, rarely see him, youngest in school. Still crazy nuts about my fella! (Go ahead..roll your eyes!)
Guess what I did this past month?? First, I braved putting a bathing suit on!!! ICK!! However, I also went TUBING on the lake! OMG!! It was amazing!! I had bruises and strained muscles in places I didn't know existed, but WHO CARES!! I couldn't have done this a year ago!!
THEN, the next day, Went to SIX FLAGS!! Met up with Becky Farmer, and had a WONDERFUL time...she is such a beautiful person, not to mention a THRILL RIDE MACHINE!! That girl was so brave!! AMAZING! She even rode the bungee sling shot ride with my 15 yr old and his friend.
I rode EVERYTHING!! Last year, I couldn't have even SAT in the seats of the coasters, much less actually have them be able to close the safety devices over my prodigious girth!!!
LIFE IS GOOD!!!!!!!!!
Ok...coming up this month is my "RE-BIRTHDAY" on the 13th. ONE FULL YEAR! WOWZA!!! My goal this month is to knock 10 more pounds off. I want about 15 more gone before my birthday in August. I want to be able to wear a size 14. If I didn't have this big belly left over, I'd be able to to that very easily. So maybe if I knock a few more pounds off, I can meet that goal.
Here's to everyone considering surgery, just gone through surgery, or post ops. (Or just anyone who just felt the need to read my goofy ramblings.) This is a very personal decision, so don't let anyone tell you what you SHOULD or SHOULD NOT do. You know what is right for you. Do your research. LISTEN to your doctor and FOLLOW the instructions. If you do these things you WILL succeed! God Bless you all!
Here are pics from the month!!
Here's a pic from our June get together. This is Tonya L, me, Dee Dee Cole and Holly Ritter. We all got together in August of last year for one of the first get together, so I will try to find one of those old pics and put it in here to. We look MUCH different from what you see here.
Joe & Me in Helen...ok..this pic is a couple of months old, but I JUST got it from Meg and I like it! (He's such a hottie!)
Ok..bathing suit pic warning...if you don't wanna see(and who could blame you!), scroll down QUICKLY!!
Check it out!! TUBIN'!!! WOOOOO HOOOO!!! Tim SWEARS he could hear me yelling "OH S**T!" But I NEVER did! I was laughing the whole time!! LOL!
Becky & I and the Alabama Gang at Six Flags..LUV YOU LADY!! YOU ARE WUNNERFUL!
And last, but CERTAINLY not least...Pic of my sweet baby niece, Ciara.
EXACTLY ONE YEAR ago today, I took my "PRE-OP" pics. This was two days prior to my surgery. Out of the blue today, I just happened to ask my son to take front/back/side/face pics, since I haven't taken any in a LONNNNGGGG time. So...I go to download them, and find that my pre-op pics are dated 7-11-04..and these are exactly one year apart. The change is dramatic. 150 pounds gone. Life is soooooo much better.
Here are the pics:
*****ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!*****
I knew I needed to post at my one year date.. I put a post on the boards and I think that is what I will put here for my one year post...it seemed to sum it up best....
You know, one year ago today, I got up ultra early, and drug an amazingly large body to the hospital for a surgery I wasn't sure I would live through. A body that couldn't wear just one hospital gown. A body so large, I could not put my arms down by my side, I could not stand with my feet together, because my thighs were so large, the strain on my knees was painful.
I had quit caring what I looked like...quit wearing makeup, only wore super stretchy clothes, and could HARDLY take care of myself hygienically.
Walking from my car to my desk at work, was a MASSIVE undertaking, and by the time I sat down, I was hunting for my inhaler, because I couldn't breathe and I was sweating profusely.
I quit going to my beloved Braves games, because I couldn't stand all the walking. I gave up front row Bonnie Raitt tickets at Chastain, because I didn't want to do all the walking up and down the stairs. Instead I drove to Chastain, sold them and came home, very depressed.
To attend one of my son's football games was a hugely embarrassing undertaking, as we always sat on the far side of the field, WAY up in the bleachers. I pretty much quit attending.
I quit doing ANYTHING! Weekends were spent on the couch, with a HUGE pot of macaroni & cheese and watching t.v.. I basically DARED anyone to call me, as this was my time to be left alone, and I wanted to be able to veg in private. I was very certain I would not see my oldest graduate from college, nor my youngest from high school, as I was not gonna live that long.
Romance was not a word I had even considered, as I had resigned myself to being alone for the rest of my days...afterall, who would want to be with a 340 pound woman?? God knows I didn't like what I saw...why would any man??
ONE YEAR LATER.................
151 of the 340 is gone. I no longer take 4 asthma meds. I take one daily, and an inhaler occassionally, but very very rarely. I am off my antidepressants. I can basically shop anywhere I want to.
People tell me "YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL". I tell them, thank you, but that has been a really great side effect of the surgery. The really great thing of this surgery, is I AM LIVING! I no longer just go home and veg on the couch. I HAVE A LIFE!! I participate in my children's activities. I have been to SIX FLAGS and ridden everything I WANTED to!!! I have been tubing on Lake Lanier!! I have gone hiking with my dad in the mountains!
I get up in the morning, and can't decide what to wear, cuz my clothes fit and they are CUTE! LOL!
I can walk with co-workers and not get winded or excuse myself when they all take the stairs, so I can go to the elevator.
And I have a HONEY!! He loves me, and it's not because of my size. However, I would NEVER have even had the nerve to allow myself to meet, much less let someone into my world, if my self confidence had not markedly improved.
I literally get teary eyed when I think back of my life one year ago today, and think of the miracle / blessing I have been given. This TRULY IS a re-birthday, as I have been given my life back, and I intend to live it to the fullest.
I wish for all of you who are "newbie post-ops" or considering surgery, that you would have an easy a go of it as I have had in the first year.
I don't claim it to be a complete breeze...there are rules to follow, and at a year out, it is much easier to break those rules, but WHO WANTS to go back to where they were?? I don't!! I have to fight it daily, but I just have to go back and look at my before pics and remember where I came from and that helps dramatically.
THANK YOU GOD!
I would have to say this has got to rank as one of the best birthday's EVER!!! Last year at this time, I was still morbidly obese, and JUST getting to know this wonderful group of folks, called "The Georgia Board".
Here's the cake I was treated to at our OH August dinner! (Thanks Tonya!)
This year... wowza. I have not been accustomed to having much ado about my birthday. Being a single mom, unless I gave my kids money to shop, they had no means to do birthday presents, my mom was never one to do much for the birthday. Pretty much a normal day, with the exception of Jeannie, who would ALWAYS try and do something really neat, because she knew she was the only one who really stepped it up.
This year...WHAT A TURNAROUND!! I felt like a princess!!
My dryer has been on the fritz for quite a while...been doing laundry at the laundromat...which BLOWS! Dad came over the night before my birthday and was doing some "handy man" stuff... fixed my mailbox, icemaker, etc. He tried to fix my dryer and when he couldn't...HE GOT ME A BRAND NEW ONE!!! YIPPEE!!! The dryer I've been using was my grandmothers, and she passed away in 1982! LOL!
THEN... my honey..Joe, took the day off JUST TO BE WITH ME!! I have never had anyone make me feel so special. He showed up the night before, with about 2 dozens gorgeous salmon colored roses, and a bouquet of gerber daisies, cuz he remembered them as my faves. There were SOOOO many flowers that I couldn't get them all in one vase!!
Then... he has been teasing me cuz I wanted one of the new Braves Home Jersey's that are RED! Luv it! Good Power Color! Well, I want you to know that he got me my jersey.... SIZE LARGE and it FITS!!! YEAH BABY!!!! (Not XXXL, Not XXL, Not XL....L!!) PLUS, he put my nickname "MODEAN" on the back...spelled right mind you! and the number 30 on the back, which is my boy Ryan Klesko's number.
My Joe rocks my world. He took my birthday off from work, and told me we could go do anything I wanted to. I just wanted to be with him, and I didn't need to go anywhere for that...we just hung around the house....snoozed in and watched tv until about 12:30 and then sat around and watched the tube until it was time to go to the Duluth Pep Rally, that Christopher was in. After that, he took me to dinner at Paizano's ... a NUMMY Italian restaurant. We had met up with my friend Lori and her 2 kids at the pep rally and we all went to dinner together. It was great. I was worried that we needed to get going, cuz I thought Joe had to go to get to work in the morning, and he stayed instead... We RARELY get to have time together during the week, so I was thrilled. I LOVE LOVE my jersey..wore it all weekend, but when he asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I told him I just wanted him. I wanted to be with him. And I got to be. It was wonderful.
Another REALLY cool thing this year, was my boys got me presents!! AND I didn't have to pay for them! LOL! And did they ever kick butt!
Keith got me one of those wonderfully gawdy silver sequined bags... I know they are really out there, but I LOVE it!! I have already drug that sucker all over the place!
Christopher went to Bath & Body Works, and loaded me up on my FAVORITE...Moonlight Path. It smells sooo good, and I was out of almost all of it. With money being tight, that was a luxury I was not affording myself, and Christopher hooked me up with almost ALL the money he earned his first weekend at his new job .
So...as you can see....all the men in my world REALLY made me feel like a princess!!
THEN...Friday, I went for my one year surgery follow up. Blood Pressure is great. 112/65. I'm waiting on my bloodwork results. The doc was very pleased with the weight loss and I have lost 20 more pounds since February. It's MUCH MUCH slower now, but at least it is still coming off.
After that, I met Jeannie for my gift from her..... A NEW TATOO!!! YEPPERS!! Here's my new tat...
I love it!! It's so cool. I put it on my right side of my chest..positioned conveniently above the ol' ta ta's in case I decide to do some lift work on the girls later, it won't effect my new tat.
Friday night, off to the Braves game to see my boy Ryan Klesko! He is SOOOOO damn fine, and so sweet to me. I'm sure he is only tolerating me, but he never fails to be sweet. Friday night, Jeannie & I took off to the Ted, and met up with my friend Pam. She and I used to work together, and I miss her SOOOO much! It was WUNNERFUL to see her! LUV YA GIRLIE! (See below)
(Whaddya think of that halter, huh?? I was really self conscious about it. It was a gift from my friend Laura at work, and I LOVE it, but it was REAL outside the box for me.)
I went down to see my boy Klesko, who was signing autographs for a bunch of folks, and Jeannie hollers out, "RYAN..Tami is looking for you!" and he stopped cold, and says "WHERE?" he looks around, and comes right over and gives me a BIG HUG, tells me he had been looking for me, and that I looked GREAT!!! He was busy, so I backed off and figured I'd try to see him out back behind the stadium the next day.
Here's the one downer of the birthday (well, there is actually 2 downers...but they don't outweigh the day, but they are worth mentioning, since they relate to the surgery.)
After the game Friday night, Jeannie & I went to a Buckhead bar for a party for a friend of Jeannie's. The girl turned 21 and they wanted to party in Buckhead. At the game in my shorts and halter, I felt ok...but we wore what we had on to the bar. I don't think there was ONE SINGLE girl in the bar that was over a size TWO!! I could not have felt like a bigger cow. By the time we left, I was sobbing and feeling absolutely miserable. I cried the better part of the way home. I realized that while I have lost MANY MANY pounds, I have NOT LOST that feeling of inadequacy. I AM proud of my accomplishments, and I DO feel amazing, but I felt like I weighed every bit of the original 340 pounds, trying to prance around in a halter and shorts in a world of teeny women. It was awful.
Ok..enough of that... back to the WONDERFUL!!! I met up with Susan Bertrand Saturday morning EARLY, cuz we were gonna meet Klesko before the game. Problem was, all that waiting, and no Ryan. *sigh*. However, we got a few autographs, and I had my picture taken with Glenn Hubbard and Mark Lemke (former Atlanta Braves).
Went into the game...Saw Ryan in the dugout...he waved and on with the game...he didn't play Saturday, but it was fun. However, it was 110 degrees on the field, and since we were only 4 rows from the field..I'm thinkin' we were AT LEAST 109 degrees! LOL! LAWDY LAWDY it was SOME KINDA HOT that day....Another bold clothing day...wore a spaghetti top! I was actually wearing my pretty red jersey, but it was soooo damn hot it had to come off!
Here's a pic of Susan and I melting in the sun....
Here's me in my pretty red jersey... I wish I had buttoned it up right, so you could see how well it fit...but it was just too darn hot. I was doing good to keep a straight thought.
Just for comparison's sake...here's what I looked like the LAST time Ryan saw me at the ballpark...
Little difference, huh? (The guy in the pic is my friend George.)
After the game, Susan and I drug our hot tired selves around to the back of the stadium, where the players leave. We plopped on the steps, and all the sudden I hear this pop....and it was Ryan clapping his hands as he came out of the stadium...
"What are you still doing here?" He asked..."Waiting for YOU" I tell him! He was such sweetie, and introduced me to his girlfriend Kelly, and I introduced him to Susan. He told me how great I was looking, and let me have a new NONFAT picture with him, and he signed my skinny jersey, cuz all my other jerseys he signed are so big now, that they are dresses for me.
Ok..so here it is!! My new pic of my boy Klesko!!
Ain't he a hottie???
Ya wanna know the best part? After I FLOATED home...I had no sooner pulled in the driveway and started unloading my car, and MY HONEY pulls up. He was so tickled for me.... not all jealous or acting like I was stupid...he was genuinely happy that my boy had treated me so well.... I LOVE YOU JOSEPH!!!
Since I had had my Klesko lovin' I blew off the last game. It had been a very long hot WONDERFUL weekend, and I was POOPED! LOL!
I was lazy Sunday and it rocked.
(Oh yeah... I mentioned there were 2 downers. I have 2 bestest friends. My spring training baseball bud, has her birthday 2 days before mine. For the past 10 yrs or more, we have celebrated together, usually at the ballpark, and often with the Padres coming into town and getting to visit with Ryan. This year, my gal, who I have not spoken to in a while, didn't even call. No birthday wish, nuthin. My heart is really hurt over this, and it's very hard for me to accept. A couple of people tell me she is jealous of my weight loss success. I really don't want to believe that. But I hear about it happening often. I love her very much and miss her terribly, and my heart is broken.)
That said... I would not dwell on that for the weekend, cuz it was AMAZING. The best birthday EVER!!!
(Ok..ok... I know I droned ON AND ON...but hey!! It's MY profile, and I'll drone if I want to! LOL!)
Man September was a crazy month...Cool in LOTS of ways...very tough in others..
Ok.. I have gotten 10 of the "non-lost" poundage gone...Remember the whole scale fiasco? The scales were broken, and I thought I was 15 pounds lighter than I REALLY was. I have lost 10 of it.
However, I have had a HORRIBLE food month. Actually gained 2 pounds...have lost them back, but I gotta get my act together. This was one of the most stressful work months I have had in SOME time, and I worked WAAAYYYY too many hours. I think the lack of gym time and the extra added stress did NOT help me in the food department. I am going back to the gym in the morning.
Lots of exciting things that went on this month.
Meg & Mike came down from Philly and we all went out to Cowboys for a night of fun....(poor Joe was sick as a dog!)
The MOST EXCITING thing for the month was... Thanks to five months of allergy shots, I was able to stay at Joe's TWICE overnight!!
He has 2 cats and normally cats would put me in an ambulance en route to the hospital to have my bronchial tubes opened....
When I woke up and saw it was daylight, I wanted to dance down the hall!! It's been since I was a BABY since I have been able to be around animals... How awesome.
On Monday, Joe, Mike, Jeff (Joe's coworker) & I all went to the Falcons/Eagles opening day (Monday Night Football) game. We tailgated and had a blast.
On the way home from Joe's early Tuesday am, I won a radio contest on Star 94 and I got to go meet RICKY MARTIN! LOL! Ok, I've caught a lot of crap about this but hey! I LIKE his music! WUPA!!!
He was very kind, not pompous at all, and the folks at the radio station were awesome!! OH! And the jeans I wore? A SIZE 14!!!!!!!! I don't EVER remember putting a 14 on my butt - maybe in high school. They were stretch jeans mind you, but they were 14'S!!!!
The following weekend was the Macon get together! We had such a great time! I got to meet a bunch of the folks I had not met before and got to know others better!! It was a grand time.
ALSO this month was the Paul McCartney concert! We had great seats, and we hooked up with my friend Pam, her sister, my friend Laura from work, and a couple of Pam's friends. Before the concert, we at Ted's Montana Grill and in walks Ted Turner himself!! We had such a blast..the concert was amazing and Pam's gang was a blast. It was if we had all already known each other. Her friend Monica has also had the surgery. She looks GREAT!!
Fall Festival was this month. I only got to hang long enough to see Christopher march in the parade, then go back to work.
Here's the cool thing...(well, I looked like a TOTAL dork DOING it, but it was cool nonetheless.) I wanted a pic of my kid in the parade...it's kind of a tradition...sooo.. I got a great spot at the grandstand...but when I went to take the pics, my camera weirded out. So..determined, I knew if I wanted to catch the band before they got done, I was gonna have to hoof it and FAST. I took off across the street, ran behind the buildings, over the railroad tracks, down Buford Hwy and finally caught up with them. I GOT MY PIC!!!! I saw Christopher looking at me out of the corner of his eye, and I could just SEE him thinking, "OH GOSH!! She is NOT my mother..I DON'T EVEN know her!" LOL
HEY!! Speaking of not knowing me, a WOW moment at the Fall Festival. I walked up to one of the mom's of my kid's friends, whom I know very well, and said hello to her. She was chatting with another woman, and I heard her say to her..."Do we know her??" LOL!! She didn't RECOGNIZE ME!! WOO HOO!! Love it!
Later that night, met up with Laura & her husband Rick and a couple of other friends that we used to work with, and went to the concert at the Festival. It was an all Beatles cover band and it was great.
Last night was homecoming for my youngest. He and a bunch of kids decided to blow off the dance and go out bowling, dinner etc, but they did it ALL dressed up! He looks SOOOO grown. This is both my fellas..
Outside of that, I have WORKED and WORKED and WORKED. It was very difficult, and I have suffered diet-wise as a result. I'm making a commitment to myself to lose 5 pounds this month. So...as of this date 11-2-05 I plan to see at LEAST 5 gone next month.
**OH..I should mention, that I finally heard from my friend that I mentioned last month. I took her with me to see Ricky Martin. She has apologized, and hopefully, we will be back on track. It doesn't feel the same, but I love her and we will see...
Ok..until next month......
you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse
which happy bunny are you?
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2 days after Christmas, and one day before my youngest's (Christopher) SIXTEENTH birthday!! OMG!! When did they get so big?? Keith with be TWENTY in April!! Have Mercy!!
Well the past 2 months have been insane for me, as I have worked my fool booty off!!! (Sure wish I had LOST some of that booty for REAL! LOL!)
It has been a cool two months though...
Ok..first of all, I did NOT lose that 5 pounds (dammit!). I however did not gain anything. That's a plus.
I have found out that my gall bladder has to go... and that I have some kind of abnormal collection of blood vessels on the right frontal portion of my brain! Isn't THAT special? Had an appt with the neurosurgeon on the 16th, but since there had been ice in Gainesville the day before, he didn't show. (Nice of them to cancel the appts, huh?) Still haven't gotten a replacement appt. so I think I am going to find a new doc... errrr!
Spent an amazing weekend with my honey at a mountain cabin in Ellijay.. It was BEEEE-YOOOO-TEEE-FUL!!! It was so nice to have an entire weekend with him. So rare. We both work so hard this time of year.
This was our cabin. It was so nice..and there was a great Hottub!!
My hottie at Amicalola Falls.
WOW. I have really spent time away from the boards. It's been a combination of being very busy and very exhausted. I think the gallbladder has had more of an effect on me than I realized.
I also have to admit to myself that I have not been taking care of myself the way I should. I have not been taking my vitamins regularly, I have not been drinking my water, and I have fallen into some really terrifying OLD eating patterns. I have GOT to get myself back together, including MAKING time for myself to MOVE MY BOOTY!!
I need to start a food journal that includes my emotions at the time I am eating, because I need to pinpoint the times that I am eating and am the weakest.
It's hard for me to admit that I am struggling this hard...but I need for any "newbies" that read my profile to understand, that having the surgery DOES NOT cure emotional eating. AND as time goes by, it's easier to eat more, there is no more "mal-absorbtion" of foods, just nutrients. So what you eat now (I'm almost 2 yrs out) stays with you...
Ok...don't mean to dwell on the negative, but it IS real, and I AM really scared. I have GOT to get a handle on this before I become one of those statistics that fails even with the surgery.
PLEASE LORD...help me here. I have come so far, PLEASE don't allow me to go back.
Now..what's been going on in my world lately???
Christmas was one of the best ever!! Christmas Eve, I had my entire immediate family over...my two boys, Dad, my brother and sister in law, her 2 boys and my beautiful little niece. A little later, my honey came over and the night was complete. He was so generous to my boys and me. PLUS, it was so great to wake up and not only have the love of my two boys, but to have someone that loves me, not as a mom, but as a woman. I have been SO blessed this past year.
(Taylor, Ciara, Christopher, Logan, Me & Keith)
(We were at the mall shopping, and the boys DARED me to smile..I was about to CRACK UP!! The sweet lady that took the pic, says "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YA'LL LOOK LIKE??? I'm sure she thought we were Mafia freaks or something!! This pic is my pennance for always being the "paparazzi" all the time! LOL!)
My Christopher turned 16. Have mercy. He is such an amazing young man, and I have truly seen so much maturity in him in the past 2 months. I am so proud of him!
I had the most AMAZING New Years!!! I went with Joe to Philly and met his mom, and ALL of his friends!! Then on New Year's Day, I was a "marshall" at the Mummer's parade. The Mummer's parade is a Mardi-Gras -ish type celebration. There are amazing costumes, full of feathers, and sequins and sparkles! RIGHT UP MY ALLEY!! LOL!!
Joe was a dancer with his band, and their theme was "All Fired Up!"
They had a fireman's theme, and all the music had "fire" or "Hot" in the titles. It was such a blast. Afterwards was a GREAT party held at the fire hall. We danced and partied WELL into the night!!
(Fire theme...Joe was a fire hydrant!)
(What a great way to start a New Year!!)
Joe's mom & sister were great, as were ALL his friends. His mom was so generous to me at Christmas, and she didn't even KNOW me!! His sister took me out for the day, we were going to tour Philly, but the weather didn't cooperate, so she took me shopping. So sweet. Had the best time!! AND...I stayed at his friends house, who had 2 cats, and (although I was on TONS of meds) it was as though I had NEVER had severe allergies!! No sneezing, no wheezing, no swollen eyes, etc. It was AMAZING!! His friend went OUT of her way to make sure there was as little cat dander as possible, and she had me a "backup" hotel set up in case I couldn't manage. Everyone was so amazing.
The only bummer of the trip was to see my Joe in the extreme pain he was in the day after the parade. I hope he is able to get his knees "fixed" soon, cuz it hurts my heart to the core to see him in pain. The parade pain was so extreme, but he hurts almost all the time, and I hate it so bad. I wish I could take that pain away for him, so he could enjoy a day without hurting....
February was an exciting month!!
First, went to Florida with Joe for a Superbowl Party to meet the "remaining" group of his friends that I've not met. His buddy had come back from Iraq a few months ago, and he wanted to have a party for the Superbowl. He has the greatest friends, and it is SOOO cool to me to see him with them. I love watching them laugh and cut up...they may not see each other for years, but they fall right back in together as if it had only been a few weeks.
He took me to the beach 3 times. I love the beach SOOOO much, and it was beautiful. I never feel such complete release of my stresses as I do when I am at the ocean. It's as if all my problems are behind me, and I can completely relax. We went at midnight, and sat under the moon and the stars, and we went again the next evening and watched the sunset. SOOO beautiful. I love him so much.
Joe's birthday was this month, and I had him a little celebration...dinner, cake with goofy candles, and LOTS of batman! LOL! I THINK he had a good time..
THEN, came Valentine's day...(or as he calls it, Hallmark Day! lol!)
Joe was completely exhausted, and still came out to spend the evening with me, although I KNOW he really would have liked to just go home and crash. Valentines is a very busy time for him at work.
He's so good to me... (I got FOUR DOZEN ROSES!!!!)
THEN...just a few days later, came our FIRST YEAR anniversary!!!
We didn't make it to the get together, but he took me out to dinner at the Loafing Leprechaun, and it was so very very nice. Although I was sorry not to see my pals, they will be there next month, and I will never have another FIRST YEAR anniversay with my love. It was a wonderful evening.... Have I mentioned how much I love him?
I have to say thanks to the Good Lord for sending me such an amazing man. I don't know how I got this lucky, except that I figure I was DUE!!!
His mom is here, and is going home tomorrow. I took a day off and took her to Helen, Ga. We had such a great time. I really like her, and I THINK she likes me ok. (I hope!!)
The main purpose of her trip was to go to the George Strait concert. She is a HUGE fan, and I got my gal Pam to hook us up with 2nd row seats. SO, Joe, his mom, MY dad, and I take off and go to the concert. (Pam always want to know if people are "worthy" of the tickets to the concerts...you know...a respectable amount of knowledge and appreciation of the artist. Well, I must say, I was the LEAST worthy person in the Gwinnett arena that night. I saw Dad, Joe & momma Millie singing along, and I was just staring! LOL!! I enjoyed the show..but I was definitely not worthy!! I tried to make up for it by taking some decent pics...)
It was really nice to get to know Joe's mom better during this time. I really do like her a lot. She's a pretty cool lady!
OKAY..OKAY... I will quit babbling on about my fella...it'll be tough but I will....
Other things going on....Christopher seems to have really turned a corner and I am so proud of his progress... I HOPE HOPE HOPE he stays on this path, and realizes how amazing he is and doesn't give up on himself ever again.
(Now that he has a job, his favorite pasttime is counting his cash!! LOL)
Keith continues to do well in school, although he has had his struggles.... he continues to stay strong and find ways to rise above the situation and make the absolute best of a difficult time.
I met his girlfriends parents over the holidays, and they are VERY lovely people, and I certainly see why Keith enjoys being with her family so much. Jess is a beautiful young lady, and they both seem to be so crazy about each other. They have the most amazingly mature, Christian relationship I have EVER seen in a teenage relationship. I think although they both know how to be silly and have fun, they have old souls and are mature beyond their ages. The Lord has a special plan for these two, whether it be together or separately. They are such inspiration and support to each other. I don't know what the future holds for them, but I know they are each going to be something very special.
WELL...guess I had some "dumping" to do tonight, huh? It's 4:00 in the morning, I have NOT slept yet and I have to be at work in the morning, so I guess I should shut this thing off and try and sleep, even though I'm not the least bit sleepy. (I was this way the night before my WLS..maybe it's just surgery nerves...Gallbladder goes tomorrow..)
I think I will set myself up a page (elsewhere) where I can do that emotional food journal..and see if I can pinpoint any issues. If I do, I'll post it next month.
LOVE TO ALL!!!
March 3, 2006
Bored, Bored, bored bored bored!!! 3 days after having my gallbladder removed. I already feel better, but learned a lesson in doing too much last night. Ok..ok..I'll sit on my booty and rest.
I'm watching Cinderella Man with Russell Crowe - trying to catch some of the Oscar films before Sunday. I wanted to put a pic of my bee-yoo-tee-ful flowers my honey sent me on here. I don't EVER want to take for granted what I have in him.... Putting these pics on here, are a great reminder of how fortunate I am.
Until next time....
TOLD ya they wuz purty!!!
Wow. Shame on me. I have not been keeping up with my journal.
I'll be honest. The biggest reason is I slid backwards....gained weight...and was REALLY ashamed... This has been very difficult for me. I gained almost 20 pounds. I have been scared SH**LESS! I did not go through this very dangerous surgery to gain all this back.
I have gotten so close to a personal goal twice, only to sabatoge myself and prevent myself from actually succeeding.
Well, I have made some progress, but guess what? Got within a few pounds of that personal goal, and what did I do? I had a food blowout.
HORRIBLE. What is this obession with keeping myself from self accomplishment? I don't get it.
I have realized something about myself of late, however. My girlfriend wanted to go to Jenny Craig to lose about 20 pounds (She's a size FOUR!! ARGH!) but I decided to go with her and work on it myself for a little while until my surgeon's program got started. I followed "Jenny's" rules very well... I was determined to not blow it. I kind of turned it into a personal competition... I was determined to lose more than my friend...I didn't, but I gave it a good try. Also, I have started Curves. Curves has various programs/competitions that require you to workout 3x a week or more, in order to win the competition or get rewarded at the end of it. I did it. Now, I am going to BACK ON TRACK, a program offered at my surgeon's office. They set the rules of what we were allowed to eat, and because I knew everyone in the program and those monitoring it were going to see how successful I was or wasn't, I stuck to it very well.
So tell me. Why is it, I can stick to everyone ELSE's rules/guidelines, and yet the rules I set for myself, are apparently of little importance to me, or else I would go after those goals/guidelines with the same gusto??? It's time I start working on that.
This week is the last week for Back On Track. I am VERY close to my personal goal...(3 pounds away based on MY scales and 7 pounds away based on the doc's scales...) I have stayed on plan to the PENNY for 2 solid weeks. The first 2 weeks were very successful. I lost 1.5 th e first week, 9.5 the second week, and another 2 the next week... so 13 pounds over the 3 weeks. I go into weigh on the 4th week, and have been very very good, except for 2 classes of wine and a VERY SMALL serving of mashed potatoes and stuffing three days before weigh in...perfect afterwards...how much did I lose??? NOTHING!! SO IRRITATED that I promptly left the meeting, went and bought a bag of toasted wheat thins and ate half the bag!! Was that all? NOOOOOOO.... Let's see... I have had Chinese this week, it was Fall Festival, so of course I had to have FUDGE... and Joe took me out on a wonderful date,and I ate nachos and fetticini. Ok.. so we are close to personal goal, let's make SURE we don't get there!
Ok... so today is Monday, my last Back On Track class is Wednesday night... I considered not going. Why? Cuz people will see that I gained and I didn't succeed. Again. But instead, I have hit the program with a vengeance today...no cheats. I have behaved. I am going to get as close as I can by Weds night.
After that I have set a number I want to reach, and have given myself until November 30th to reach it. We'll see. I'll try to compete for MYSELF.
Ok...now, let's see if I can catch up on what's gone on in my world since March...
Christopher and I went to spring training. I guess Tina will no longer be my spring training bud. I really missed her this year, but had a BLAST with Christopher. We had a great time...no arguing, just FUN.
We went to Sarasota/Bradenton and we went to Universal. We went to the new Phillies stadium in Clearwater.
1) Beautiful sunset in Sarasota. Christopher's first sunset. 2) Christopher doing his "Baywatch" impression! LOL 3) Christopher & I at Universal on the Dr. Seuss ride. 4) At the new Phillies Spring Training Park in Clearwater, Fl. 5) Sitting on the lawn, catching rays and watching baseball!! WHOO HOO!! (And FREEZING!) 6)Ok.. this is just how cold it was. I am standing on the beach in 3 coats and freezing!! 7) Mista Varitek!! OH MY!!
My oldest, Keith - TURNED 20 yrs old! OMG!! I am the mother of a 20 yr old! HAVE MERCY!! When did THAT happen???
We went to the Family Weekend at Belmont to visit Keith. It was great.
Baseball has begun! WOOO HOOOO!!!
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You're an American classic -- fast, strong, and bold. You're not snobby or pretentious, but you have what it takes to give anyone a run for their money.
"Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.
|Date||Height ||Weight||BMI||Neck ||Waist||Hips ||TTL lbs Lost|
|01-21-04||5'5||314 ||52.3||20||58||62.5||---||06-25-04||5'5||331||55.1||-||-||-||---||07-16-04||5'5||340||56.6||-||-||-||---||07-21-04||5'5||316.5||52.6||18.9||59.6||62.4||23.5||07-30-04||5'5||309||51.4||-||-||-||31||08-20-04||5'5||295||49.1||18.3||55.1||60.2||45||08-27-04 ||5'5||290||48.3||-||-||-||50||09-05-04||5'5||278||46.3||-||-||-||62||09-30-04||5'5||265||44.1||18.25||53.75||58.0||75||10-31-04||5'5||250||41.6||18.25||49.75||56.5||90||11-24-04||5'5||242||40.3||-||-||-||98||02-06-05||5'5||225||37.4||-||-||-||115||04-02-05||5'5||210||34.9||-||-||-||130||05-13-05||5'5||205||34.1||-||-||-||135||05-21-05||5'5||198||32.9||-||-||-||142||07-01-05||5'5||192||32.0||-||-||-||148||08-19-05||5'5||206||34.3||15.25||41||49||134||10-01-05||5'5||201||33.4||-||-||-||139||D||H||W||B||N||W||H||TTL||D||H||W||B||N||W||H||TTL||D||H||W||B||N||W||H||TTL||D||H||W||B||N||W||H||TTL||D||H||W||B||N||W||H||TTL||D||H||W||B||N||W||H||TTL||D||H||W||B||N||W||H||TTL||D||H||W||B||N||W||H||TTL||D||H||W||B||N||W||H||TTL||D||H||W||B||N||W||H||TTL|
**The weight gain on 8-19-05 is not actually weight gain...as it turns out my scales were broken and I had NOT lost 15 pounds I thought I had. VERY UPSETTING, but I will trudge forward.**
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