ObesityHelp

DAYS SINCE MY SURGERY

11/10/03 - My First Post! I just posted to the board -- my post most likely should have been a journal post so I'll add it to my page. My story . . . where to start. I haven't been heavy my whole life. I wasn't "thin" in high school, but I didn't stand out as large either. I started packing on the pounds in college. I wasn't all that big, but in my head I was HUGE. I was a size 14 when I graduated college. The weight continued to creep up. I used the standard advice of not living by the scale to mean that I could gain weight at will -- no need to weigh. Suddenly I was 240 pounds!

11/11/03 - Hi -- two posts in two days -- don't get spoiled! I'm in Ft. Lauderdale now, just went to the information session at US Bariatric. I've filled out my packet, just need to make copies and get it to the office before leaving town tomorrow. I didn't really learn anything at the event because I've done so much reading and research, just a formality to get the ball rolling. I was glad Berry (DH) was with me. I think it may have helped put his mind at ease some. He's being very supportive which I truly appreciate. Well, now the waiting begins. I've got a PCP appointment on 11/24. Unfortunately it is my first PCP appointment, hoping they are open to the idea of WLS as their sign off is needed to move forward. until then, I'll be reading your posts and crossing my fingers. Hoping to have surgery after the first of the year.

11/12/03 - Well, three posts in three days. I'm leaning towards a DS vs. an RNY biggest reason is that I don't want to completely give up drinking with my meals. I'm perfectly happy to monitor my fluid intake, with a small glass or something, but I want to be able to sip some water. I also see that DS patients lose more faster -- not a bad incentive. I think I can deal with gas and perhaps diarrhea while my system regulates itself, and there are things that you can do to minimize both. I dropped off my paperwork at the Ft. Lauderdale office today and before I got home this evening they had left a message. I'm going to call back in the morning. Things are moving pretty quickly!

11/14/03 - I should have known it was all going to well . . . Hit my first stumbling block today. I got a call from the nurse with US Bariatric. On my patient medical history form I had indicated that I previously had Cervical Cancer -- which I did. It was no big deal, I'm not even certain it was malignant, and they cut it out. That was two years ago -- normal pap smears since. Anyway -- it looks like this could keep me from getting the surgery. I've got to request my medical records and send the pathology report over to US Bariatric.







Well, that should take a couple weeks. In the mean time I'm getting a primary care physician and scheduled an appointment with my OB GYN to work on the PCOS.

In the mean time I’m going to make my list of all the fun stuff I want to do post surgery.





1) NOT having a heart attack by 35.



2) Shopping for Regular clothes and going to boutiques.



3) Bathing suit - need I say more.



4) NOT sweating like a pig just trying to get ready to go out and get into the car.



5) Fitting into the seats at the movies.



6) Fitting in the airplane seats without pain.



7) Go Cart Racing.



8) Horseback riding and not feeling like I should carry the Horse.



9) Getting certified as a Dive Master.

11/19/03 - I became very discouraged after my last call with US Bariatric. I'm in a holding pattern awaiting medical records to send on to them to see if they'll even accept me.







In the mean time I've decided I'm really leaning towards a Duodenal Switch vs RNY, seems like people don't gain the weight back as often and the quality of life is better.







Mean time DH is now asking me why I can't just eat like I've had the surgery -- He's never really struggled with weight so he just doesn't understand what I feel. He didn't understand how hurtful that conversation was to me -- that what I was hearing was another version of WLS being the easy way out or that I was too weak to accomplish this on my own. This from the man who watched me measure and record everything that went into my mouth for six months only to GAIN 5 pounds.







Anyway . . .







I asked for feedback about my selected doctor on they Yahoo duodenal switch group and got some that concerned me. Seems Dr. Kim has a history of leaks -- Well, one that I heard of -- but it was FATAL.







I have a problem with fatal. I recognize it as a risk -- but let's be honest we all look at the numbers -- say that we won't be in the .5% (or .2% in the case of US Bariatrics) and assume it won't be us. I am committed to doing EVERYTHING my doc tells me to do -- even eating yucky stuff if necessary. EVEN -- hold on to your hat Fred -- yes, that's right -- EXERCISING. But I want to make sure he's doing everything I tell HIM to do -- as in -- "Hey doc, sew that thing up tight and try not to kill me, 'K?"







So -- this feedback could be early from his career -- (I know it was 2 years ago) and It could have been a revision which I know he's stopped doing due to the risk involved for the patient. And one woman is like the president of his fan club -- so he must be doing some things right. Also, US Bariatric is going to do it's homework -- right -- they aren't going to hire a guy with a track record of killing people -- doesn't really do much for their overall rep.







But . . .







That didn't stop me from looking at other docs. My Sister is going with Dr. Rabkin in SF. He pioneered laparoscopic duodenal switch surgery. I called his office this week and spoke to Justin and Sara. They were wonderful. I know they were super busy but they took tons of time answering my questions and really made me feel confident. I also learned that my insurance (UHC PPO) is really good about approving these surgeries – makes me feel good.







So I’m feeling a bit perplexed. I loved that US Bariatric in Celebration is literally across the street from me. This way if I have any complications – I don’t have far to go and the hospital that would be treating me will have experience with patients like me – which I can see from talking to others is a HUGE bonus.







BUT . . . If he is a leak factory – then it doesn’t really matter. Sure they’ll be close, but why increase my leak risk for something that could be convenience. UGH







So – I’m going down the path with both docs right now. Will see what works best for me as I learn more.

11/20/03 - Good news today -- I went to the doc's office for some laser treatment on some "undesirable" hair. Turns out their surgery nurse was a bariatric nurse. She sat down and spoke to me, she knows US Bariatric very well, used to work there. She really improved my confidence in Dr. Kim. She told me how many docs wanted to join US Bariatric and Dr. Marema wouldn't let them in the door because they weren't good enough. That she'd also heard he was really good and that she would feel good about having surgery with him. To quote Miss Brooke in Salinas CA *thumbsup*. I'm thinking I will go to Jacksonville this weekend to meet him. But I'm not closing the door on Dr. Rabkin either. Nothing else to report.

11/28/03 - Met my new PCP this week. She's actually a Nurse Practitioner. I was really nervous going in -- I was worried she wouldn't be supportive of the surgery, but she really was so we're going down the path of getting my initial blood work done and getting a letter of medical necessity. I'm really excited.







Also -- Went home for Thanksgiving and was really pleased that my family is going to be supportive of the surgery. Very good news.







Next week I have a sleep study scheduled for a sleep apnea test. Nothing much further to report.

12/25/03 - UGH what a challenging/frustrating month. To make a long story short -- really leaning towards Dr. Rabkin in San Francisco for a DS. I attended a support group and was very comfortable with the doc and the others in the group. Very happy to report that I have been submitted for insurance approval. Now I'm waiting. Trying to do so patiently -- but I am never patient.







I've decided to go with Dr. Rabkin in San Fransisco. *I think.* I'm still trying to decide for sure. It's so hard to justify flying across the country when the hospital out my front door does the same surgery -- but it's not all about convenience -- It's about confidence too. Dr. Rabkin made me very comfortable. US Bariatric has not done that. I felt good about the initial presentation -- but then it was over. The "nurse" that was in "charge" of "processing" my "account" . . . I mean case - would not even talk to me because I incorrectly checked a box that said cervical cancer (I actually -- after looking at my medical record had something call dysplasia) . I've faxed the lab reports back several times -- no response at all. And to be honest -- I don't like the guy (the nurse). But he's only one person. The people at the info session were really nice and informative. I may try to go to another info session and see if I like Dr. Kim. It would be easier on me physically and financially to do it here -- if I feel good about the doctor. One the one hand -- Cervical cancer is one of the conditions that precludes you from having surgery -- so they are doing what they can to ensure a good outcome. But I just don't like this guy and the way he speaks to me.







Anyway -- enough ranting on that topic. On to a new rant. I promised myself that I would chart the good the bad and the ugly. The Good: All of my family is supportive -- and they all said the "but you aren't that big -- and you don't eat that much" God Bless them! The Bad -- my DH is being weird. He's got reason to -- he's worried that something will happen to me. I think it would crush him if it did. His college love was very sick and had to have open heart surgery -- years later she died in the hospital. He sees hospitals as a place you go to die, not get better. And I think he's concerned that I may change my feelings towards him when I'm skinny. I've tried to explain to him that he has loved me when I don't love myself and that is priceless to me. Time will tell. But I do have to be honest -- this is placing a strain on my marriage -- we have other issues to work out, but this is a strain.







On the Sleep Apnea front -- You see that's a disease/condition or whatever you want to call it that only effects the really big people (like anyone with a BMI of 40 or more isn't really big still working on my denial issues). I couldn’t possibly have it right?







Well I haven't posted since my study -- The very nice and sweet nurse said, and I quote "Boy do you snore. We hear them all in here and you my dear, . . . well your husband is right, you snore loud" That's not all. I do indeed have the dreaded sleep apnea. But it is a very mild case. I go in next week for a follow up sleep study to see if I would benefit from a CPAP. I think it will be optional based on what the doc said, but we'll see.







On a personal front, went to see the Rockett's Radio City Christmas Music Spectacular -- was fab. LOVED it. AND the theater has huge seats so I was very comfortable -- (Tampa Performing Arts Center, was a touring company) I can't wait until next year, bet I SWIM in the seat!







Santa was good had a great time. Happy New year to all!

01/12/04 - I have nothing to say other than I'm going crazy waiting for Insurance approval. On 12/22 Dr. Rabkin's office submitted my file for insurance approval. As of today I'm still waiting.

01/19/04 - Yep you guessed it. For those of you playing the home game -- still waiting. Last week the Ins company said I should learn something this week. We'll see.







Can I just say something! All this time I've had it in my head that I don't get male attention because of my weight. NOT TRUE. The truth is harder to swallow I think. After deciding that I didn't get attention because I'm fat -- I quit trying. Always with the hair pulled back, no make-up, frumpy clothes. Well, something about knowing that there's another side, that this surgery will let me out of this fat suit has encouraged me to take better care. Wear make-up, get my hair done, do my nails. Wear something besides jeans and a t-shirt. Men are flocking to me. Really. Maybe it's that I've got my confidence back, maybe its that I'm making an effort. Not sure. Just know I like it. My husband has always made it a point to tell me I'm beautiful, but somehow and I know this sounds bad, I felt like he *had* to say that because he loves me. Getting the attention from other men has helped me get my groove on!







Watch out world -- here I come!

01/24/04 - Umm Hmm, still waiting. Spoke to the Insurance copany this week and whined that it had been a month. Supposedly I'm getting "Fast Tracked".







What Ever. Hopefully they'll have this all wrapped up by Wednesday. They told me to call back then. In good news, I have my finances in order to pay my portion and my doc is scheduling appointments about a week in advance right now so I am planning on surgery the first week of March as I have a huge work project at the end of the month and can't do it right away.







Hugs to all!

01/28/04 - I'M APPROVED - I called United again today expecting to hear that I should call back -- I did not hear that. The lady was very nice -- she said I was her 100th call of the day and I should win a prize -- I joked that I was hoping it would be my approval -- and she said it must be my lucky day -- because I was approved! Now I just have to schedule the date!

02/03/04 – I have a DATE! Very excited about this. March 8 in San Francisco. I’m waiting for some protein drinks I ordered so I can try those out. I’m excited about a chocolate peppermint flavor – hope it lives up to it’s promise! I also ordered the fuzzy navel nectar protein. Now I have to book my travel and hopefully get all my preop testing done! Wish me luck!

02/20/04 -- Today is not a good day. Things still are not well between my husband and I – and I’m not sure how it’s going to turn out, but I’m worried that it’s not going to be good. I’m having trouble at work; there is a woman there who makes me miserable. I can’t wait for my surgery just to have some time away from work.



I also had a very weird experience tonight at dinner. We were at Chevy’s and they started the Birthday hoopla for someone and I had this sinking feeling I would never have another birthday. Then it went away. Probably just being a kook.

3/9/04 I' haven't updated in quite some time. Things on a personal level have been falling apart for me. I'm definitley headed towards a divorce which breaks my heart. Work has been trying to say the least, and I'm just a few days from surgery. Tonight is the first time I've felt nervous. Actually scared wondering what the hell I'm thinking. I am still planning to go through with the surgery -- but I'm actually scared tonight. I remember reading the posts of people who didn't make it -- and none of them seemed scared. You never realize that you are doing something for the last time until it's too late. I'm thinking about those things a lot because I've had so many lasts with my husband. I hope this isn't the last time I post. If it is -- I would not presume to give anybody else advice on what to do regarding surgery for themselves other than research research research. Make sure your surgeon is skilled and has done the proceedure a number of times. Then, you have to weigh your options and make your own choices and good luck to you.

I'm back! All in all, I'm pretty healthy! I'll post my surgery experience here -- as much as I can remember anyway -- the morphine and Lortab makes the first few days a haze.



I went for my pre surgery info session on Friday 3/12 and my surgery was 3/15.



I will honestly say the worst part of my experience was the blood draw. Somehow in the lottery for the tech -- I drew Jr. Ensign First Class, I must have been his second or third draw -- and no offense guys, but women are more gentle with blood draws than men in my experience. The pre-op blood draw requires 14 vials of blood. I've always had them use a baby needle on me and sort of tape it after they got the vein. This fool kept flicking the tube as if that would make me bleed faster -- what it resulted in was moving the needle around and blowing out THREE veins -- my arm literally looks like a truck drove over it. I finally got angry and told him to get an RN -- which he refused but I did get a supervising tech who finished with one needle and no flicking and no blown out vein -- I probably saved my right arm this way.



Sunday -- The ever famous bowel prep. I've heard everyone complain about thier irritated tushy so I bought some diaper rash cream and after every trip to the bathroom (and there were many for about four to five hours)I applied it -- I also did not use TP, only baby wipes. For me this worked -- no irritation.



Monday -- Up at 5:20 a.m., should have been up at 5:00 but my alarm didn't go off, thankfully my parents awoke me or I might have missed the whole thing. We left the hotel and headed off to the hospital, arriving by 6:00. Check in was a breeze and they came to get me about 6:45 and take me down to be prepped. That was no big deal, then they walked me into the OR and started my IV -- I was out cold. I don't remember much for the rest of the day until late evening when I was in my room. The pain was not very bad that night thanks to the after effects of the anesthesia and the morphine. I got up to walk around 8 p.m. and made it to the nurses station -- maybe 20 yards round trip.



Tuesday morning I awoke in pain -- I was hitting the morphine button every 10 minutes until 9 when they came to get me for my leak test. They took me to radiology and I had to stand on a tilting bed and drink the barium. I over did it and almost threw up -- that was horrible -- I mean horrible (not the taste, the experience of feeling like I was going to throw up) but the tech helped me breathe through it and I was fine.



Then they took my PCA away -- but I was allowed to drink -- oh what sweet pleasure. And as soon as I started the Lortab -- no more pain, it was much more effective for me than the morphine.



My next couple of days progressed fine, minimal pain, walked 3-4 times a day, did my breathing exercise etc. By the end of day two I could walk a lap around half the floor, by day three the entire floor, by day four multiple laps at a time.



The only problem was I had unexplained lower right quadrant pain that could not be explained, and as of Thursday, the day I would have expected to be discharged, no BM and my white blood cell count was still a little high and I had a high amylase count. So I stayed till Friday to see what would happen. Friday noon -- everything is still the same so I had a CT scan to check it out. I had to drink 12 oz of dye. This scared the wits out of me -- how would I drink 12 oz. The dye wasn't bad, tasted like flat ginger ale, and over the course of a half hour I drank all of it without pain or discomfort.



CT Scan showed an abnormality where my small and large intestines came together -- which is lower right quadrant-- and some swelling around the area where my gallblader was removed. Due to the abnormality Dr. John said one more night in the hospital and an retest in the morning.



When I got back to the room I had success (BM) in the bathroom -- and much more success throughout the day -- and the pain resolved itself except for one 20 minute period when I could not walk it was so bad (but not bad when laying still)



Sat the retest showed me normal (abnormality was likely a system back-up) and I was discharged.



The only other thing I would say about the hospital is you may have to be vocal about want you want on your food trays -- mine were so sweet, mostly pureed fruit and fruit juice, then when I got to soft food they brought beef which it is way to early for me to be eating. Just ask and they'll accommodate you.



Since then I've been in a hotel room. Primarily I'm eating:

Yogurt

Tuna salad

Protein Drinks

Soy Milk

I also ventured out and had some beans



No naseua I got to the bathroom about every 45 minutes and it's a "productive" trip. but so far, knock on wood for me, it doesn't smell like anything -- except in the hospital when I was drinking so much soy milk it smelled like flowers -- NO JOKE -- my mom and I had a good laugh about that!



Not a lot of pain, I'm using a mix of Tylenol and Lortab (mostly nights) to control the pain.

4/1/04 – I weighed in today – I’m down 21.5 pounds, a few more pounds and I won’t be morbidly obese any longer!



Eating is a challenge and my energy is low, but my pain is almost completely gone. I get worn out taking a shower and have to rest afterwards. I can’t walk long distances yet. I’m going to a follow up appointment tomorrow to check my white blood cell count and my amylase – crossing my fingers they will be normal – otherwise I may end up admitted to the hospital – YUCK.



I always wondered what people were eating (bear in mind I had the DS so I can eat more than a RNY patient), but today I had:



Protein Shake for breakfast

About 1 egg worth of egg salad and .4 ounces deli ham for lunch

About 3 oz steamed shrimp.



I’m going to talk to the doc tomorrow – I’m not eating ANY carbs and That can’t be good, but I need to find out how much I should be trying to eat. I do have to force myself to eat, if I didn’t have my parents around telling me to eat I bet I’d have one or two protein shakes a day and call that good.



I haven’t vomited . . . yet. Came close a couple times simply due to eating too fast, very preventable.



Good luck to all!

I have good news and bad news. Good news is that for the first time since surgery (3/15) I have a normal white blood cell count! And this week my amylase normalized -- so hopefully I can quit having blood tests every other day!



The bad news -- I had a drain put in on Sat 4/3 -- and I am still getting lots of drainage. It had really slowed down, but suddenly yesterday I started getting a lot of drainage from it. :(



I'm still in CA, obviously I cannot travel with this thing in me. It is causing me quite a bit of pain -- but they are helping me with some new meds so hopefully that will be better tomorrow when I pick up the new perscription.



Other than that I am having a textbook good experience. The only thing I've found that refuses to stay down is Gatorade -- I'm freakishly worried about dehydration so thought it would be a good idea, but it comes up as fast as it goes down.



I'm pretty sure I'm lactose intolerant -- hopefully that will resolve itself over time, but the good news for me is that life without dairy is not as miserable as I thought it would be.



Doing Ok getting protein in. I'm taking so many pills I feel like a senior citizen . . . but Mostly I feel fine.



Little frusterated by this drain, it is a constant source of annoyance but I want to leave CA healthy and not have to worry so I will endure it with something close to a smile on my face.



I actually had a hunger pain today too! still can't eat much. I ate a chicken thigh (small) in two sittings tonight. will also have a protein shake later.



That's my story for now. Hope everyone is doing well!



Oh -- and on the carbs -- doc said i should eat a few, but to be careful since they slow weight loss.

4/22/04

Quick update for those of you following my saga. I'm still walking around with a surgical drain sticking out of me. Can I just say this is GROSS! It stinks (think simple green) and it hurts. It's been three weeks since it was inserted and I'm still draining fluid -- so in it stays. The pocket is shrinking -- slowly -- so hopefully I'll get this darn thing out in a few weeks (doc says 1 - 4).



In better news I am feeling much better -- I can eat. I'm not feeling sick to my stomach. I was on a lot of antibiotics and I think they were making me feel ill. Now that all of my blood counts are normal -- I get to ditch the antibiotics! Yipee!



I also added digestive enzymes to help with bathroom issues -- I just added them yesterday so I'm not sure but I think they are working -- also a bananna a day and a small amount of rice. I'm having better bathroom experiences.



Last weigh in I was down 36 pounds puttingmy BMI at 38 -- Hoping to get under 35 soon! I've lost a little more, my weigh in was on 4/19. I've been traveling so long I may have to purchase some new clothes that fit! Hee Hee what a sad sad story ;)



Good luck to all in their journey!

5/7/04

Well, Sadly I did have to break down and buy a couple of new outfits -- broke my heart. You can really see the loss when I'm wearing clothes that fit!



In other news -- Haven't really lost any weight in about two weeks. I'm trying not to freak out -- I'm at the 8 week point, many people stop losing for a couple weeks but I'm down about 40 pounds. Hoping that it will kick back in soon.



I STILL have the drain in place. It's very frustrating. I really want it out. I've had to extend my leave of absence from work and I still haven't gone home. The drain was only producing about 20 - 25 ml per day for the past week, then today -- WHAM 45 ml, the most since my last Dr. visit. Last week it spiked one day then went down every day after, maybe that is what is happening again. Crossing my fingers and praying that is the case.



Everything else is normal with me in terms of post op healing. Here's what I ate yesterday:



lunch -- ½ of a quarter pound hamburger with cheese

dinner -- small amount of spaghetti with meat sauce

Snack -- Beef Jerky and some pork fried rice



I think I may not be eating enough -- I know I need more protein. I'm going to try carnation Instant breakfast with lactaid milk, I *think* my lactose intolerance is resolving itself and I'll be able to eat milk again. I was on antibiotics for so long that all of the natural bacteria that aid in digestion were destroyed. I took digestive enzymes for a few days and everything has been much better for me.



I could also add a protein shake – but for some reason I associate them with being immediately post op and it reminds me of feeling bad so I'm not as interested in them. But I should try anyway right?



Ok, that's my update for now -- more when I have something new to say.



LATE BREAKING UPDATE: Well, after I posted this I was sitting in the recliner watching TV when the phone rang. So, I put the foot rest down and got up . . . and ripped my drain out.



Good news -- It didn't hurt. Bad News -- not sure what this means in terms of healing. May have to get another drain inserted. God I hope not, that was really painful. Praying for a self-healing and cease and desist on the drainage.



Please send happy thoughts my way.

5/29

Looks like it's been a while since I last updated. Well after ripping out my drain, I went to the doc and had a CT scan. All was well. By ripping out the drain, I seem to have sped up my recovery. I'm now back in FL and as of this morning -- I weigh 225! That puts me down 47 pounds since surgery. I'm very excited.



And while I am excited, I was looking at the weight loss planner and I'm a bit behind where I could be. So -- Will be starting back to the gym this week and I've uppped my protein and water. It's been a daily struggle, so I'm adding a shake a day. I don't really like them much, but it beats not losing weight.



I've also added innermint to my routine. I don't get gas very often, but my trips to the bathroom are aweful -- and it can be embarassing if I have to go in public. The fun thing about innermint -- Forrest Green Poop! Bet everyone wanted to know that!



Things I'm noticing different now --

I am more confident



I have more clothes in my closet because I can wear all the stuff that was too small for me before and now fits perfectly.



I think differently about food. Earlier this week I of all people threw away french fries. First off I shouldn't be eating them at all so it's not like I expect a gold star, but I ordered a kids happy meal with mcnuggets which of course comes with fries. I ate the chicken and tossed the fries (except one or two) best of all I did this without thinking about it. Also -- the same day I had ordered a sandwhich that came with fries. I ate half the sandwhich, a couple fries and stopped eating while there was still food there and before I was miserable full. Leaving the fries on the plate and throwing them away -- again without thinking about it. I never would have done this pre-op and now I did it without thinking about it. Thank God for this wonderful tool.



I LOVE ordering small sizes. It's like my head has become a thin person, just waiting for my body to catch up.



Hugs to All!

6/12/04



I am almost at my three month mark, I thought I'd check in and update.



I can eat anything I want except bread, and I can eat that, but I'll be able to "clear a room" shortly there after LOL -- but bread gave me gas pre-op so that's no big surprise, it just got worse after surgery.



Bathroom issues -- they were pretty bad at first, but when I realized I was lactose intolerant (since resolved I can eat all the cheese or milk I want now with no side effects) it got better -- much better.



Also I started using Innermint and it's made the morning bathroom situation pretty normal.



No pain and I can drink fluids till my hearts content, no trouble getting water in now. Some days I want more fluid than others, I don't go crazy about measuring fluid, I drink when I'm thirsty and pay attention to if I'm urinating enough, if I feel out of whack I get more fluid in.



I have no pain at all. I didn't tell anyone about the surgery outside of my immediate family. Based on the way I eat and drink nobody has guessed, I eat normal, just small portions; actually normal "thin" person portions.



Here's what I had to eat yesterday:

Breakfast, Protein Shake

Lunch Coconut Shrimp

Dinner - Roasted Quail with a lentil and pomegranate (SP?) stuffing and some bites of African bread and spreads and a couple spoons of corn soup -- just enough to taste. And a couple bites of the dessert that was on the table again, enough to taste but not go over the top.



Here's what my life was like before -- I felt invisible. I didn't like to go out to movies or the theater because of the seats. People didn't approach me or talk to me. I didn't like being me.



Here's what my life is like now -- People look at me and smile. I've been to two Broadway plays and pretty much every new movie that's out in the last two weeks. I walk my dog for fun vs. making the poor little guy do his business at the bottom of the stairs and straight back to the house. I'm mid divorce and decided to put my profile on Match.com on Friday -- I already have a date for Tuesday and another person who has asked for a date we just don't have a time yet. I'm actually going on my first real first date -- I've always dated friends of friends or something -- never had a real first date that the man planned, I'm beside myself with excitement. I bought the outfit I'm wearing in my most recent pics without trying it on -- something I NEVER would have done. I went shopping today for shoes that were cute not wide -- and I bought three pairs that fit well. I feel on top of the world. I've only lost slightly over 1/3 of the weight Dr. John predicted I'd lose so I don't know how it's going to get better, but I know it will and I'm absolutely loving the ride.



I had some complications that kept me in CA for a full 8 weeks after surgery including a very painful drain. I went through some time when I wondered if I'd lost my mind for doing this. I couldn't eat my beloved cheese and was really bummed. I HATED counting protein because I knew I wasn't getting enough in. I couldn't drink all my water. I couldn't exercise. I stressed myself out. I'd be on the table again tomorrow if I had to in order to keep the weight loss going.



It's not all smooth sailing, but in my opinion it's worth the sacrifice.



Oh yeah -- and I lost two more pounds yesterday! I'm in the teens for the first time in years! My next big goal is to get under 200 and to be able to walk a mile in 12 minutes.



Current BMI 35.3

272.5/219/130-140?

*in 3 more pounds I’ll only be Obese :-D*

6/24/04

Well, as of Monday it's official, my husband and I are getting divorced, we went to the court and filed the papers.



I thought this would be harder than it is, don't get me wrong, it's really really hard, but . . . I know it's not the end of the world. I knew this was coming (husband is in Dallas, had to wait until we were together again to go to court and file) and I had posted my profile on match.com and yahoo. I've already had two dates and another possiblity on the horizon.



The date yesterday went well, I liked the guy, I don't know if he's Mr. Right or Mr. Right now -- who knows and only time will tell. But a funny, kind and handsome man showed interest in me -- I needed that.



On Monday after the divorce filing on Monday I needed retail therapy -- I bought all skirts! I was so happy, they were all size 16! One of the size 16 dresses I tried on was too big. I couldn't believe it.



I'm down to 210 now, BMI is 33.9 which is amazing to me, I've lost 62 pounds in three months and one week. I'm not eating enough right now though. I need to work on eating and water.



Today:

2 eggs with 2 oz cheese

One 4 oz steak and 1/4 of a very large potato

lots of water



I'm like 20 grams short on protein so I need to drink a shake or eat something else -- since it's already 7:30 not sure how that is going to work ...



Anyway, until next time.

7/12/04

Life can be so funny. If you've been reading my journal you can see that much of my journey is emotional, not physical. My divorce has been a long time in coming and I'm actually looking forward to it -- time to move on. I've been doing the on line dating thing -- not really expecting or wanting to meet anyone special, just looking to meet some people to spend time with. I've felt like I'm in such a transition phase in my life getting involved would be a mistake. Then BOOM -- out of nowhere comes an IM from a v. handsome man wanting to chat. Long story short we had coffee and all I can say is that he is amazing. He totally gets me, understands my struggle, champions my success and loves my sense of humor. He's a person I respect as a complete equal in my life (may sound conceited, but I don't just say that about anyone). His name is Bill, he's my age and he has the most amazing outlook on life and people. I've never met anyone like him. It's not been long since we met so I don't know where this is going, but -- I'm sure I'm going to know him for quite a while, he's making such a positive impact on my life.



OK -- now for the stuff you want to hear -- the physical stuff -- but even this is mental!



I am now down about 70 pounds, I'll be under 200 pounds when I lose 3 more! I can't remember seeing a "1" in front of my weight. It's truly hard to believe.



I am wearing a size 16W, almost into a 14, but they still look a little silly. It's funny, when I hold up my own clothes I feel like they are too small to fit me -- then they slide right on, it's an amazing feeling that I hope everyone gets to experience. I have this suit I bought a while ago -- and promptly grew out of it. It's a very expensive couture suit, it was a special treat after a big bonus from work. I WORE it yesterday and today (is that gross? Men do it all the time so we can too right girls?). It was snug when I bought it -- now it's almost too big and it's so comfortable. I wore a suit to fly in -- because I felt good in it -- if only you knew how unlike me that is. I'm wearing skirts and dresses and suits all the time -- for fun.



I had my blood work done -- all normal and the best news --- My cholesterol went from 284 to ---- are you ready for this 120!!! So exciting to me.



I am finding myself doing things like taking the stairs, running etc. And well my ahem intimate relations are better too. I am more willing to do things and move around and well, I FEEL sexy. It's all so good, this is like a dream come true.



And as always what am I eating -- I'm in one of my phases where I cannot eat a lot. Today I had the yolk of an egg and a slice of ham for breakfast, two cheese enchiladas for lunch and about 2 oz of pork for dinner with a little bit of salad.



Hugs to all



Dawn -- BMI 33.9

7/19/04



Hmm -- Can I just say that I really believe that this surgery has saved my life? It's made my life happy again because I have the "me" that was trapped under so much fat back.



I'm sure my divorce has a huge impact on my happiness. It seems sad to say that, but I guess when it's time to move on, it's time. I hadn't realized how much of myself I slowly turned off through the course of my relationship with my ex husband. I had to turn off my sense of humor, I am too sarcastic for him -- to me it's play and I love it when people give it back to me, to him it was mean -- so I shut it off. I love to have people over to the house -- he hated it. I've thrown a couple dinner parties and am looking forward to having more. I don't sweat the small shit -- I lived in fear of a mistake being discovered because I didn't want to hear about it (you know, a ding on the car, forgot to pay a bill, forgot to put your keys in the key bowl etc.). Our physical relationship was gone -- I crave affection, kisses, hugs, passion -- that was dead too.



As all these parts of me were turned off, I slowly quit laughing. I'm the happiest person I know, but for a while I wasn't, I rarely smiled.



Now -- I'm free of that burden of hiding me. It's good. I also have me back. When I look in the mirror -- like the rest of the world, sometimes I see things that need to change -- I still need to lose about 70 more pounds -- I'm still Obese -- So yeah, I see things I don't like. But mostly -- I see me, and I feel pretty.



And Bill is turning out to be absolutely a dream come true. I know we haven't know each other long, and I'm trying to keep myself in check --- for heaven's sake, I'm not in high school any more, but I absolutely swoon when I see him. And he continues to surprise me and do the nicest things for me. Like yesterday when I flew home, he surprised me by meeting me at the airport. He didn't have to be there, I had to drive my car home -- he was just there because he didn't want to wait another minute to see me -- That touched my heart in a way it hasn't been touched in years, if ever. And the cool thing about this is that the weight loss has given me the confidence to be bold with him -- which is my natural personality but when I was at my heaviest, I lost that.



Saw Grandma over the weekend -- She managed to not even mention the weight loss, then brag to me about my cousin who lost her weight the hard way -- then make a very rude comment about a heavy person we saw. At first it really hurt me but then I realized she's never walked in my shoes -- and she doesn't understand. So she may judge me for having the surgery -- lots of people might. But the truth is -- It was my struggle and I found a way to overcome it. I can't stop people from judging me -- I can only be happy I'm winning. And I AM happy I'm winning.



I'm so freaking happy right now that I feel like the cat that ate the canary. I'm so thankful for this surgery and the part of me it's given back. I can't wait to see the next 12 months.



Hugs,

Dawn BMI 32.9

8/13/04

SO this is a long winded post about how things have changed for me -- hoping I don't bore you -- please feel free to skip if you'd like.



In 1993 -



Jurassic Park was raking in $ at the box office

Rodney King and Waco Texas dominated the news

Michael Jackson was accused of child molestation (the more things change, the more they stay the same)

Clint Eastwood's "Unforgiven" was awarded the Oscar for Best Picture

Eric Clapton's "Unplugged" was the album of the year

Dallas obliterated Buffalo in the Super Bowl

Montreal beat LA for the Stanley Cup

Sea Hero won the Kentucky Derby

Stamps were $0.29

I graduated College



AND until yesterday it was the last time I bought clothing that was a size 14! (Mind you -- there is no "W” on that tag)



Baby Hottie AKA Denise, has been explaining to me that my clothes are too big. I knew they were loose, but..... Going shopping confirmed it. I was lucky enough to see her on Tuesday, I was wearing a size 2x shirt and 18W capris -- both purchased since surgery --- my "small" clothes. They were roomy, comfortable, a reminder of my success. But alas, I had to roll the waist band to keep them up, so I knew Baby had a point.



I headed to Target to get some new clothes. I sauntered towards the "Women's" department then quickly realized that wasn't going to work anymore. I needed to go to the "average" sizes. OH HAPPY DAY!!!!!!



My goodness there is a lot of selection on that side of the store -- I was beside myself with so many options... I actually had to remind myself that just because it fit didn't mean I needed to buy it -- what a concept! So I tried on some capris, jeans and a jeans skirt. I took size 16s into the dressing room kind of thinking -- NO WAY! Imagine my surprise when the skirt was TOO BIG. And the jeans I bought make me look thin!



I also had another neat experience this I wanted to share -- I was at our company store buying a shirt and the lady behind the counter was MO. She saw me holding up the shirts trying to figure out what size I needed and told me I could take them to the restroom and try them on. So when I returned I thanked her and told her I just didn't know what size to buy because I'd lost a lot of weight recently. When she asked how I did it -- I think I may have gotten another Pac Lab patient! She was already thinking about surgery and was really excited to hear about my results. I gave her Myra's card and the Obesityhelp and duodenalswich websites and my email. It was so nice to be able to share with someone.



One other thing to share ---- I had to fly to CA in an emergency last week, so I booked the flight same day -- pretty much no choice on seats. I ended up with middle. Any of you that fly know the horror I felt when I realized that. My old body would not have fit in a middle seat. I would have needed to contort in a twist to keep from invading the space of my fellow passengers. So -- I go, I get on the plane and I then realize yet another horrifying fact -- it's not only a middle seat, but in the bulkhead -- so the arm rests were solid meaning not only would I be in a twist, but the circulation to my legs would be cut off by the squeeze of the seat. So cursing to myself I ease over to my seat. I expected the passengers next to me to give me the look -- you know "Please God, don't let the fat lady sit next to me!" But they just smiled and let me into my row. So I do the wiggle to get into the seat, the gentle ease back hoping I'm not going to impale myself on one of the arm rests -- Imagine my surprise when I didn't touch on EITHER SIDE! I was actually comfortable in the seat -- I had room to spare. About 4 hours into my 5 hour flight I realized something new -- my tailbone hurt -- no padding to keep my butt comfy! LOL In fact, I was looking in the mirror the other day -- I have no butt! Well, I'm a size 14 so of course I'm not going to disappear any time soon, but my tush is flat. I vaguely remember being teased about this as a kid. My boyfriend who is absolutely my biggest champion, my pillar of support, my closest friend gently asked me (while we were on the topic of Plastic Surgery which was initiated by me) if I was gonna get butt implants because I needed them! How funny is that? Me -- needing Extra butt! LMAO! He said he wasn't sure how to ask didn't want me to be self conscious -- if he only knew how happy the thought of having to buy a butt makes me! I used to have enough but to hand out free samples!



Anyway -- as you can see I'm happy! No eating issues, working out, weight is coming off, days are better, sleep is better, took my god daughter to the Zoo all day in the heat, no knee or back pain, not even any fatigue. Went to a Van Halen concert last week -- and Cute Boys wanted to buy me beer, not just the guys that go for the fat chick because they think that's all they can get -- cute boys!



THANK YOU PAC LAB! THANK YOU DR. JOHN! THANK YOU UNITED HEALTH CARE!



Sending wishes of happiness and health to everyone!



Here's what I ate yesterday:

B-fast: 2 oz cheese w/crackers

Lunch: 1/4 dark chicken, creamed spinach, mash and gravy

Dinner: 3oz Pulled Pork - 1-2 oz pork sausage

10/1/04
WOW -- I can't believe it's been so long since I updated my profile. Tons of changes again!

I've bought a condo that's being built so I moved to a new apartment to wait for the new place to be built. I'm very excited -- I moved right up the street from Bill -- at first we thought we'd keep separate apartments for a while, but we decided that we are spending all of our time together anyway so this weekend he's going out of town -- but I'm going to bring his clothes over and we'll work on moving the rest of his stuff.

Bill has been such a wonderful addition to my life -- he brings me tremendous joy each and every day and I'm so thankful to have him in my life -- I actually say a prayer of thanks every day.

Over Labor day we went to Washington DC and I remember thinking it was SO far to walk between the White House and the Lincoln Memorial -- I was basically having a fit that we couldn't get a cab or a tour tram or something. Well, ya know what -- it's not that far at all. We walked around all day and I kept up with him for the most part. We had a fantastic time together and I cannot wait to go on another trip with him!

I'm wearing size 14 clothes -- I actually put on a 12 last weekend, it zipped, but it was not a pretty sight -- I had Dunlap syndrome -- or a jelly roll!

My body is thinner, but flabby -- I wish I had been working out instead of talking about it, but I'm going to start this week.

I had blood work done because of bruising -- I was covered in deep purple bruises for no reason. Turns out I'm low on vitamin K so I'll up that. I'm also low on protein so I'm trying to add more.

Here's what I'm eating lately:

Double protein shake -- gives me 16 oz of fluid and 44 grams of protein

Lunch - today will be Tuna salad -- 26 grams

Dinner -- Seafood dinner

Snacks -- Cottage Cheese or nuts or just regular cheese

I eat aobut 4 - 5 times a day now.

Hugs to all!

Dawn
274/178/??

10/20/04

Hey -- wha happen? It snuck by ... happened with no fanfare, nobody, including myself even noticed.

What am I talking about?

I joined the Century Club, well the Century plus club to be specific. I remeber as a pre-op reading the posts of people six and seven months out -- thinking "WOW -- I'll never make that" Or at least thinking if I did there would be balloons and flowers maybe even a clown. Nope

When I hit 172 I was officially down 102 pounds. I was so excited the scale which had teased me with 175 then jumped to 180 -- had finally moved below 175 I didn't think about the fact that I had indeed joined the exclusive century club. Until two days later -- when I hit 171 suddenly it occured to me.

For me this journey has been different than for a lot of people. I was thin in college -- at least early college -- my weight started coming on as I left school. I was about a 14 at graduation. So when I see myself, I think of the thin person I was in my younger days. I always have, even when I was a 3x -- It just didn't register with me how big I had truly gotten.

After my wedding when I got the pictures in, I remember thinking how good I looked, what a great job the photographer had done. I looked at the photos recently, I cannot even believe I thought I looked good. I barely even recognize myself.

I hear a lot of people saying they don't see their thin self when they look in the mirror, they still see themselves at their pre-op weight. That's not been my experience -- maybe that's why my milestone slipped by ... I'm not really sure.

You know what I do catch myself doing? I still overfill my plate -- like there's any chance in the world I'll eat it all. Not sure why I do that. when I walk into a room where the chairs are tight -- I assume I won't be able to walk through the room, my chest tightens and I worry I'll get stuck. I assume other people are looking at me -- thinking how is she eating all that, why doesn't she push herself away from the table.

For me it's been a big surprise where the scars from my weight are, and where they aren't. Logically I know I can walk through the room. I get validation from the things I do experience, like earlier this month, I was so excited, I went to Disney World -- I didn't have to go sideways through the turnstiles -- and I fit with two children on Big Thunder -- That NEVER would have happened before. And it would have been a big problem because the kids were young and would have been terrified to ride alone, where it was fun for them to be next to me.

My hair has started to come back, not falling out like it was ... so that's great!

Here's what I ate today:
Breakfast -- Toasted PBJ sandwhich
Lunch -- Soft Taco
Snack -- 48 gram protein shake with bananna
Dinner -- Salad, Creole Chicken with rice

Hugs to all!

Dawn
274/171/140?
Current BMI 27.6 -- a mear 17 pounds from being "normal"

12/1/2004

Well, it's been quite a while since I updated. I don't even know where to start.

I just re-read my journal. My birthday is coming up. I'm turning 34 on 12/6. Three is my lucky number -- and I remember saying on my last birthday that it was going to be the year of me -- how could it not be, I was going to be 33 -- that's two three's, twice the luck right?

Hurmph -- not three weeks into the year of me, my husband announced his desire for a divorce -- after spending New Year's Eve with one of my bride's maids in Texas! Yes, he left me for a bride's maid, it's not just a made for TV movie, it happens! LOL!!!

I thought to myself -- great start for the year of me. And I coined my phrase for the year -- "If you had told me a year ago that this is what my life would be like today I would have laughed at you" I was thinking that again this morning.

First, I'd like to thank my ex husband for starting off the "year of me" by forcing me to focus on me. What had a rocky beginning -- has turned out to be hands down one of the best years of my life. This isn't just about weight loss -- in fact, it's barely about weight loss, but truth be told, without the weight loss, I think the story would be very different.

What I did this year:
Divorced a man that made me feel worthless, second best and ugly.
Bought a Condo -- my first home purchase
Improved my standing at work -- now being considered for management
Improved my self esteem -- or rather got some self esteem!
Met the man of my dreams and fell in love, real love, not "setteling" love if you know what I mean
Made some really good friends and learned how to tell the difference between good friends, acquaintences and people you need to cut out of your life. (my hottie sisters -- couldn't have made it without you!)
Became a God Mother
Lost an Olsen Twin! (110 pounds so far)
Regained myself

So yes, this has been the year of me. And I'm thrilled. Never in a hundred years would I have dreamed I'd be so happy right now. I'm the happiest I remember being since high school when your dreams weren't dreams, they were plans.

Most of my happiness is centered around one thing, the love I feel for Bill. He is truly an amazing man. He makes me want to be a better person, to do more, and to succeed. He's my biggest champion, my best friend, my love. Little did I know when I went out to get coffee with him not five months ago, that it would change my life. I hope I give him at least half of what he gives me. I can't imagine not having him in my life -- he's the source of so much laughter and happiness. He's the first person I want to tell when I get good news -- and my safe place when things aren't so great. He makes me feel like a beautiful desireable and important woman. He gives me all the love and affection I can handle -- and is always willing to give more. This relationship is what I always dreamed it would be like. We both recognize that keeping this alive will be work, but it's a priority for both of us.

For once I feel like I CAN keep this, that I have a life partner. I KNOW I settled in my last relationship, I felt like I'd done well for a fat girl. Not fun to say or read, but true none the less. I do not feel that way now.

My weight loss is still happening, according to the WLS planner I'm a little ahead of schedule, but the scale is moving more slowly. It's my own fault. I have been eating too much junk food and sugar. Plus I've been drinking some beer and wine, empty calroies. And I don't think I've been getting enough protein in, I know that slows weight loss. So -- basically I haven't been doing what I should so I'm not seeing the best of results. What a surprise.

Even though things have slowed -- I'm in a size 12 now -- I actually bought a size 10 suit -- it's a Christmas gift from my mom, so I'm thinking it will fit by Christmas. My 14s look silly now. I'm packing them up to send to someone that can use them as she's getting ready to hit the size 14s.

I was chatting with a friend of mine while updating this. We had both gotten divorced this year, and this is our first Christmas without our exes. He was telling me how he had thought this Christmas was going to be miserable, but is turning out to be the best ever. I feel the same. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to All!

Hugs,
Dawn
274/164/140? BMI 26.5 (10 pounds to "normal" *giggle*)

12/3/04

Hee Hee Hee -- of course my size has been shrinking as I've lost weight, but to me, "thin" starts at a size 10. So I was happy when my sizes went down, but not giddy as I was in 14s and 12s.

The other day I realized that my size 14 jeans were so loose I could take them off without unzipping. Yet I have a pair of size 12s that are still pretty tight. Turns out the 12s, which are hand me downs are shrunk.

I went to the mall last night to do some Christmas shopping -- and I noticed that the Tommy Jeans were on sale for 25% off. I looked for a pair of 12s -- there were none, but there was a pair of 10s. I thought -- well, what the heck, they'll never fit, but maybe soon. So I took them to the fitting room.

I held them up, looked at them and thought -- no, never, not on me. But still, I was not content to be embarassed by holding them, I needed to feel the humiliation of trying somthing on and not being able to pull the garmet over your hips.

So -- I went to put the jeans on. I put my right leg in -- WHOA -- they weren't too tight, in fact, they weren't tight at all. I put my left leg in, sighed, sucked in my tummy and tried to pull them up. As I got to my hips I thought here's where it happens, they'll get stuck. Nope. Then I thought wait till you try to zip them -- here's where it happens.

Not only did they zip, but I didn't have a jelly roll. They didn't just zip, THEY FIT. Me, Dawn S was wearing a size 10 for the first time since 1990. I was so excited I didn't want to take them off. I cannot describe the thrill I felt -- I'm only writing about it so I can remember it. It was fantastic.

After I left the dressing room I tried to fight the urge to call my mom, my boyfirend, the operator, ANYONE. I lost the fight, I called everyone who would answer thier phone!

I was beside myself!

If you haven't gotten to do this yet -- hit your dream size, I'm so excited for you -- it's such an incredible feeling. A day I'll always remember.

Good luck!

Dawn

December 6, 2004

My Birthday – well, the honest truth is I’m writing this a few days after the fact due to business travel. My birthday itself was very uneventful, I had to travel for work, so nothing special. But there was so much special about this year.

I already entered my retrospective, and not to dwell, but it’s really hard for me to comprehend how far I’ve come in the past year. Not just physically, but mentally. I’m me again. I laugh all the time; I wake up with a smile on my face. I think about how easy and free my movements are now days. As I write this I’m sitting in the middle seat of coach. A year ago I would have been in incredible pain because I would have been so self conscious about not fitting in the seat that I would have sat in a weird twist and made my back hurt.

Last year I thought about my weight non-stop. I assumed people were judging me, and frankly some of them were, but probably not to the extent I judged myself, and certainly not to the extent I imagined them judging me – I’m sure people had better things to think about than me.

I’m learning what it’s like to be looked at because people think I’m pretty. It happened when I was younger, but I didn’t appreciate it. Now while I appreciate it, it also makes me uncomfortable. When people [read men] talked to me before, when I was heavy, it was for conversation and there was no expectation of something more. That was comfortable. Now I’m getting flirted with – not all the time, it’s not like I think I’ve become a goddess, it’s just that men do look at me for what I look like now. And they try to hit on me. And I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend is the center of my world – I’d never forsake him, but I don’t want to make anyone feel rejected – somewhere along the line maybe I’ll pick up (no pun intended) a way to say no without rejection. You’d think that talking about Bill would get the point across, but there are enough sleezeballs out there that just don’t get it. With them I don’t mind being abrupt, but the rest of them ….. I know too much about rejection to ever want to make someone else feel that way …… I guess that’s my new learning curve; creating a balance of being friendly without conveying false hope or a sense of something that will never happen. And how to say “no” without feeling like the bad guy. “No” has never been a good word for me, but that’s part of what I need to learn.

For the fun stuff – for my birthday – Bill and I flew his boys Tyler 12 and Bryan 9 down for the weekend and took them to Disney. I know I keep talking about working out – and that’s pretty much all I have done is talk about it . I was very worried that I would not be able to keep up with them. Last year, I would not have. I had a little pain in my hip on day 2, but nothing to even compare to how I would have felt 110 pounds ago. I would have been eating Aleve like M&Ms just to get through the day, and my energy never would have held up.

I can honestly say it was the best time I’ve ever spent at Disney World – and for me, that’s a huge statement. I was very nervous about how I’d get along with the boys, what would it be like to be with Bill when he was in “dad mode” would the boys respect me? To make a long story short, I worked myself into quite a froth about the weekend. I have no reason to believe that I won’t be spending the rest of my life with Bill; having a good relationship with his boys is a critical part of that.

It was all for nothing. The boys were wonderful. I completely fell in love with them and cried when we had to put them on the plane. I’m usually pretty guarded with my heart, but those two kids stole it in a matter of minutes. I was also really happy with what it was like to be around Bill while he had the boys. I don’t have kids – and that’s because of what it would have been like with my ex husband. We kept my niece for a weekend and I was ready to hang myself. There was no team, it was him and her with me as the chauffer, maid, cook and banker. I hated every minute of it. I had to be the bad guy – to both of them. With Bill it was very much a team effort – in fact he did more of the work.

December 30, 2004

Well, I bought another pair of size 10 jeans. I know that I’m being repetitive, but it amazes me every time. I can’t believe it’s true.

So – as it’s the end of the year, I’m thinking about my New Years resolutions. Last year I didn’t make any – I decided I had enough change on my hands that I didn’t need to force myself. But I also haven’t been setting enough goals for myself – and I think a person without goals is going nowhere, so where do I want to be next year? In no particular order:

• I will be stronger in my relationship with Bill. I will concentrate on making sure he feels appreciated and important. I will make sure that this time next year we aren’t starting to take things for granted.

• I will make my business, profitable.

• I will be promoted at work

• I will eliminate my credit card debt

• I will be at my goal weight

These are my resolutions – good luck to everyone!

Dawn
Current weight 159
BMI 25.7

March 27, 2005

Happy Easter!

My one year has anniversary slipped by. I’ve been thinking about updating, but haven’t known what to write. I am still losing, but slowly. I am still only talking about working out, not actually doing it.

One HUGE bit of news, my sister is going to have surgery with Dr. Rabkin next month. I’m very excited for her. I’m glad I’ve been through all of this and can help her.

I have my one year check up next month, the day after her surgery. My three month and six month blood work was good. For some reason I have a bad feeling about this visit though. I will post after my check up to let everyone know how it turned out.

I did something last month that I’ve always been dying to do but could never fit before. I went to Anne Taylor and bought a dress – yes, a size 10.

Well yesterday I went back, and bought a suit and another outfit – I’m a size EIGHT in pants now. EIGHT – I can’t believe it. I actually LOOK thin in my clothes.

I still have issues though, days when I think I’m fat – fat like I was pre-op. My calves are thick for my size, and my tummy is flabby. But I look great in clothes! Maybe a tummy tuck is in my future. I’ve looked at pictures of other people who lost weight and I’ve been very lucky with loose skin. My tummy is a little loose, but nothing above what most women who have had babies would experience. All in all I’m starting to feel normal. My hair is filling in. My life is much better today than it was a year ago. I’d do this again in a second.

Good luck to all!

D
274/151
BMI 24.4

May 25, 2006

AMAZING – It’s been over a year since I last updated.

Where to start – I’ll start with the stuff I would have been most interested in as a pre-op. What do I weigh, What do I eat? How is my blood work?

I am at 145 slightly over two years post op. I am down a little due to plastic surgery, prior to my surgery I was around 148/150 depending on the day and water and all that.

I am eating – sometimes I think I eat like a horse, then I look at how much I actually ate – and find I am not eating all the much – I am eating like a “normal” person which I suppose I am.

Breakfast:
Yogurt
Piece of fruit
2 Tassimo lattes – I love my new coffee maker – it’s a fun toy that makes individual coffees www.tassimo.com – no I don’t get anything for this!

Lunch:
Leftovers from the night before – about as much as a lean cuisine

Snack –
If I’m good, soy nuts, if I’m bad chocolate, I eat small pieces like snack size or a sugar free Jell-O pudding cup. A piece of fruit

Dinner
4 – 6oz protein and some veggies. About a salad plate full of food.

Sometimes I have wine, sometimes I don’t

Blood work – Calcium continues to be an issue. I just ordered ADEKs to help with that.

As I mentioned I had a tummy tuck – and I had my breasts lifted and augmented.

To be honest, I don’t think it’s been worth it – I’m six weeks out and it’s been pretty painful – more than the DS. I do have a flat tummy – and my breasts do look better – but that’s about it.

Other than that I’m planning my wedding October 14 and not really focusing on my weight. That’s the best thing about this surgery – suddenly your life isn’t about your weight, it’s about your life. It took me about 9 months to lose the weight and my body kept shifting for another 9 months – and it FLEW by.

Good luck to all!
Dawn
274/145
DS 3/15/2004

.

Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.

Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.

Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.

Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.

Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.

Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.

Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.

Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.

Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.

Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.

Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.

Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.

Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.

Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.

Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.

Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.

Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.Future Update. Future Update. Future Update.

The condition of apnea is where someone has drastically slowed their breaths or even stopped breathing. Sleep apnea can put you at risk for some very serious side effects; potentially life threatening! Besides the heart and blood pressure complications that it can cause, there can be psychological and physical risks.

Profile done by Diannejasmine on 01/29/04

Photos

274 My before picture at Dr. Rabkins's office

165 Me and Bill on My Birthday 2004

Surgeon Info:
Surgeon: John Rabkin, M.D.
Very kind, truly compassionate and very skilled. Confident without arrogance.
Insurer Info:
United, Optima PPO