ObesityHelp

07/24/2006 - Okay, doing better, but not there yet. But not crying all the time, but still at the drop of a hat! I swear, I wake up every morning with someone standing on my chest. The pressure gets better as the day goes on, but then at night, I still cry myself to sleep and then wake up the same way. :-( I've gone on a few dates, because after other break-ups it seemed to jelp. However, I sit there with these really nice guys thinking about my ex. I'm sure it's just too soon, so I'm taking a break from dating now. I sure do hope I feel better soon. Last night, the last time I looked at the clock it was 2:44am. I was up at 6am and off to the gym and now at work. I'm not even that tired anymore. Maybe I'm getting to used to this huge lack of sleep. Tummy is still upset though and I just can't eat hardly anything. Chicken broth is still going down well and I'm getting at least one protein shake a day.
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07/12/2006 - Wow. So much has happened. BF and I broke up. Not sure if it's permanent but it seems so. After losing all of this weight, I thought it would all be easy...life would be easier. It is in some ways, but I am definitely down and out. He truly is the love of my life. I know I will feel better with time, but who knows. We just don't have "the spark". Although he's never said so, I think it's because of the extra 20 pounds I still need to lose. I know that seems like nothing, but Lordy, it just doesn't want to come off unless I starve myself. I work out all the time, but sugar is my demon. I know my metabolism is shot, but to get it going again, I have to eat more and KNOW that I will gain. It is hard to get into that mentality. Not to mention that when I'm stressed and sad and depressed, I can't eat b/c all food makes me sick. I can't sleep this week at all either. I'm only getting about 3 to 4 hours a night and I feel like a zombie. I eat and I'm nauseous and I hate being nauseous, so I just haven't eaten. Low-sodium Chicken broth has gone down well in the last few days and I need something, so I'm sticking with that and water and coffee. I honestly don't ever think I have felt this badly emotionally and physically in my entire life, even at my highest weight. I don't know where to go from here. My career is highly demanding and it's all I can do to just get my work done and stay "happy" at work. I'm in marketing, meeting with clients daily and landing new accounts and pretty much kissing butts, so I HAVE to be "good ol' Annalee" at work. I love my job and can't handle the added stress of possibly losing it, so I feel like I'm giving everything I have at work and then I have nothing left otherwise. Every evening and all night, I just lay in bed and cry my eyes out. I have a permanent headache (7 or 8 days now...) and I know it's because I'm not eating and crying too much and drinking too much coffee. I've lost 13 pounds in 10 days, so I guess that's good that I finally broke my plateau, but my clothes look all weird and the last thing I want to do is shop for smaller ones, so I just wear them. This morning I woke up feeling old and literally hopeless. I hope this gets better soon. My heart hurts every single second. Such a harsh, throbbing pain. What if no one ever loves me again? What if I never find "it" again? That is really scary. I can't believe what he and I had is fading away. It was the best friendship I've ever had in my life. I want to tell my best friend about it and cry on their shoulder. But that's him, so I can't. I want to move somewhere and just be alone and just be. But I have a sick mother who needs me here so I can't leave. Everyone keeps sayign it will get better and look at my prospects. I even have TWO great men that have been interested in me for a long time. But I cannot even begin to imagine being with anyone else...ever. I have nothing left and I've never felt like this in my entire life. I'm completely and utterly devastated.

04/21/2006 - I KNOW. It's been a WHOLE YEAR!! So, things have changed a bit. I see the post below. I did let it all out to the new man and as of 0/01/06, we moved into a house together. Still going well. He's awesome and gorgeous. i have to say I wouldn't have had a chance with him had I remained heavy. Still trying to lose the last 25 pounds or so! Wow, I have a smaller frame than I thought, so my goal is about 125. I'm not training for a marathon at the moment, but I'm working out 6 days a week and gettin' those protein shakes in me! Hope all is well with everyone else. I'll try to update more soon!

04/27/2005 - I honestly have no idea where the time has gone. It's been another seven months since I updated. I'm training for the San Diego marathon on June 5, 2005. I'm excited but tired. :-) The training is like a part-time job! I'm also in love with a new man, but we are "on the fence" I guess you could say. Our connection is incredible, but our communication hasn't been great, because I think we're both in love with each other but scared to say so. So, I took the plunge. I emailed him and "let it all out" this past Monday (04/25/05). He's on a business trip this week and doesn't return until Friday night, so we'll see what happens. Anyhoo! Back to work for me now. I'll update again soon!

09/08/2004 - AGAIN. It's been awhile. I finished the marathon. 26.2 miles. WOW. I'm training for my second one in Phoenix this coming January (2005). I'm amazed at myself. I think it really hit me at mile 25, when we were running onto the military base (the finish line is actually ON the base). I just started crying and couldn't stop. What an incredible feeling. I can't wait to feel it again. Food is going well although I'm really tired of PROTEIN and I love sugar a little too much. :-) But I'm healthy and happy. That's what matters. I flew on a plane for the first time too. Amazing how comfortable the seat was. I'll never forget it. Please read the rest of my journey below.. P.S. I know it has alot of carbs, but I HAVE to tell you, "Gerber Graduates" toddler meals are SO AWESOME. I get stuck working at my desk sometimes and can't leave due to deadlines. I keep these in my file drawer and zap one in the microwave for 30 seconds when I need to eat and can't get away. My favorite is the cheese and herb raviolis with peas. :-) Don't eat them alot though, because they do have ALOT of carbs and hardly any protein.

04/29/2004 - Wow! It's been seven months since my last update! So many things have happened. I've met an incredible man. We've been together since June, 2003. I'm mostly healthy, although I still have trouble absorbing nutrients. I'm training for a marathon in San Diego in June. I'm running about 30 miles a week and finally am getting enough protein in! I didn't think it would be possible to "eat your way back" from this surgery. But, I managed it. I'm addicted to sugar and BELIEVE ME, if you eat enough of it, you CAN gain weight. I'm at about 170, which for my frame is good (medium bone structure and 5'9"). I'm not really worried about the weight anymore. I'm a size 12 and I feel fantastic. I'm in great shape and I love to run, play tennis, soccer and bike. My life is radically different than it was before. I'm finally emotionally happy. :-) Physically, things could be better. That's definitely been stressful, but I'm sure things will work out. Ciao for now all of you BEAUTIFUL people. If you're a recent postop, it WILL get better. If you haven't had the surgery and are still deciding, take your time and make the decision for YOU and not based on what anyone else's opinion is, not even society as a whole. Almost two years later, I'm glad I had it, but looking back I wasn't ready. Emotionally the journey has been very hard, but easier every single day. :-) Please email me if you need support or have questions. I'm glad to help. :-)

09/20/2003 - Okay, I admit...I've been bad! I can't believe I haven't updated in 5 months! I haven't lost much more weight, but I'm happy where I am; 158 pounds and a size 10. This surgery has been one of the hardest things I've ever been through in my life, but I don't regret it for a second. I still have an ulcer, but w/ medication it's pretty well under control. I still have trouble with eating enough and drinking enough, but every day is another chance to try harder. I hope everyone had a good summer and good luck to those of you who are starting this journey. I've had minor complications, but STILL don't regret it. My life is better then I ever could have imagined. It's so good to finally feel normal.

04/08/2003 - Haven't been on here in a while! Busy, busy life right now! I'm now at 172, a size 12/14! I can't believe it... I'm glad I had the surgery, although am now worried I might get too thin. I'm still not eating enough according to my doc. But, I'm still trying to up that caloric intake! Wow...I never thought I'd ever say that. I'll update my pics soon.

01/13/2003 - Again, I surpassed a goal. I'm now (as of yesterday) at -140 pounds which puts my weight at 194. I can't remember the last time I was under 200 pounds! Also, that put my BMI at 29.5 - Now I'm just in the "overweight" category, not "obese"! Yaaaaay! Anyway, that's all for now. Just wanted to share the good news!

01/09/2003 - Wow, I keep blowing my goals out of the water. My goal was to lose 100 by Christmas, then when I lost the 100, I changed my goal to lose 120 by Christmas. I had lost 123 on Christmas Day! Now, I've lost 131 pounds. I can't believe it! I actually tried on a size 16 today and it fit! Wow! I actually finally did call the doctor regarding my stomach acid. He did an EGD and I have an ulcer. Apparently, it developed AFTER the surgery from all of the excess acid. I'm on medication and it should be completely healed soon. I LOVE Prevacid and Nexium! Anyway, that's it for now. I'll update again soon.

11/17/2002 - Well, it's been about three weeks since my last post. I hit the century mark on 11/14/2002. I'm blown away! As of 11/14/2002, I've lost 101 pounds. Now my new goal is 120 pounds by Christmas. I'm finally feeling better. Although, my energy level is just average and I still have alot of stomach acid. I'm on 2 - 40mg Nexium a day, 4 Pepcid AC prescription strength, and about 20 TUMS a day! I'm calling my doctor tomorrow to make an appointment because this is ridiculous! Anyway, that's it for now. Everyone notices now and I had dinner w/ my brother tonight. He hasn't seen me since three weeks post-op! Boy, was HE surprised! I'll post again soon!

10/26/2002 - Wow! What a month! I'm still having a hard time eating. I hope it gets better soon or my hair is probably going to start falling out! I can't wait to hit the century mark. I've lost a total of 84 pounds now. Hopefully, I'll hit the century mark by Christmas! That's my goal. I'll update again soon.

10/05/2002 - I never have any time! I'm back to work now and on my second day back I fell down the stairs and broke my foot. When it rains, it pours! I've lost almost 70 pounds and feel crappy. I only have about one-third of my usual energy, but in all fairness, I'm not eating hardly anything. But now I am making an effort to get more then 10-20 grams of protein in every day. The "emotional upheaval" is unexpected. I don't hardly recognize myself anymore in the mirror. It's a little scary. Anyway, I'm sure it will get better with time. I'm just excited to be down 65 pounds! I started in a very, very tight size 26/28. Now I'm a comfortable 20/22. It's awesome! Oh, and also...I've NEVER thrown up, not once. I've come very close, but (crossing my fingers and toes) it hasn't happened in the first eight weeks at all. Time to go take a nap. Ta-ta for now.

08/21/2002 - Well, today I'm 13 days post-op. I haven't had a fever for several days now. I'm still trying to get all of my protein and all of my water down. It's a little bit of a struggle. I'm NEVER hungry, so I set a little mini travel alarm to remind myself to eat every two hours. I'm still on liquid, but I started dairy too, so at least now I can have milk. Milk has a lot of protein. I'm also down an amazing 27 pounds! 27 pounds in 13 days! I'm blown away! Oh well, minimal pain too. I had the open procedure. I'm healing nicely. Will update soon. If I don't update, please remember, for the sake of our fallen fellow citizens, September 11, 2002 is "Lights On" day. If you are driving a motor vehicle, please drive w/ your lights on during daylight hours. Also, everyone is lighting candles, wherever they are, at dusk.

08/13/2002 - WOW! It's over. I had an open Roux-en-Y by Dr. Vallez, Dr. Popoola's partner. He's a great doctor. I woke up in ICU and immediately realized my catheter burned. The problem is, I've never had a catheter and I didn't realize it isn't supposed to burn, so I didn't say anything. Well, I had a low fever immediately that continued until as recently as this morning. It spiked at 101.3. I also had a bad chest x-ray which was my own fault because I didn't use my breathing exerciser like I should have. :-( Anyway, I'm home now as of last night, and feeling better, but still very weak. I'll update more later.

07/31/2002 - I'm 27 yrs old and looking forward to dropping this excess weight and hopefully being able to live a longer life. I have to admit, I'm 9 days from surgery and definitely scared, but not enough to not go through with it! :-)