ObesityHelp

9/23/03 -- Feeling a bit depressed. I guess I'm having a pity party for myself today. Tomorrow will be a better day.

9/24/03 -- It is a better day. I feel better. I'm having lunch with some old friends that I love dearly. They haven't seen me since the surgery. I can't wait to see their reaction. Thank you to my AMOS friends for all their support. Love ya!

11-11-03 -- I think I may have broken the plateau! I got on the scale this a.m. and it read 187. I'm going to try to get over the doctor by the end of the week and get an "official" weigh-in. I'm so happy. I hope it is true and not that my scale is making fun of me :-)

11-17-03 -- I still haven't had a chance to stop by the doctor's office to see my actual weight. Hopefully this week I can get a chance to go there. I had a great weekend. I feel so good. I starting my holiday baking and it didn't bother me at all not tasting the end results. I'm so thankful for this wonderful surgery. It has made such a positive difference in my life. I feel that for the first time in my life that I'm not pre-judged when people see me. That the first thing they say to themselves is that she is fat, lazy, etc. Whether they thought that or not, I don't feel self-conscience anymore. It does bother me that some people that didn't acknowledge me or get to know me prior to the surgery are making it a point to talk to me. I'm cordial to them, but I don't have time for people like that. I do notice men looking at me more but I still haven't been asked out on a date. But then again, when do I have time to date?

11.24.03 -- First Thanksgiving post-op and I'm looking forward to it. I'm not at all concerned about the "feast". I plan on eating high-protein, low carb foods and not making "food" the center of the holiday. As I do every night, I will take a walk after dinner, but this time I'll take all my nephew's and kids with me and make it a fun thing to do together. I'm so thankful for the many people in my life. It is tough raising two kids on my own with little-to-no help from their dad (emotionally or financially), but I've been blessed with such strong support systems and my faith, which keeps me going when times are tough.

12.1.03 -- It (Thanksgiving) wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Probably because I don't crave sweets, so the pies, cookies, and such didn't bother me. The problem I had is that I still (and probably always will) suffer from head hunger and I don't want to stop eating when I feel that full feeling. At least I listen to my stomach and not my head! On a even better note, I bought a size 12 pair of Gap kakhi's this weekend and they fit. A little snug, but they fit! I'm down ~100 lbs and still have about 25 more to go. I'm happy where I'm at, but am working toward having a "normal" BMI, wherever the number may fall.

12.9.03 -- This was a first -- yesterday I was told that I looked "radiant". I was so taken back by that wonderful compliment. I must say that lately I've been feeling "radiant". The scale isn't moving much, but I feel the inches still coming off. I'm working out almost daily and trying desperately to stay away from carbs and drink more water. Happiness is someone telling you that you look "radiant".

12.22.03 -- I'm feeling FANTASTIC! I'm so comfortable with myself that it is scary. I had a weird thing happen this weekend. First of all, since losing weight, I've bought all my clothes, except one pair of pants, at thrift shops. I didn't want to invest a lot of money in clothes that I could only wear a few weeks and then toss them out. So, needless to say, I haven't been department store shopping in about a year. This past weekend, while Christmas shopping, I went into a department store and was heading over the Tall Man's section, for my son, and passed by the Women's section (aka, plus size). I consciously knew that the clothes wouldn't fit, but I stood at the edge of the clothing section and peered in, looking at all the colors/styles that are "in" -- making a mental note of what I liked. I then proceeded to the men's section and picked out what I needed for my son. After selecting the items that I needed, I went straight the cash register, unconciously passing right by the Misses sizes, that fit me, and not even stopping. I didn't realize that I did this until I left the store and was telling my mother of all the things that I saw in the Women's section. I don't think that I feel like I belong to either group (Women's or Misses). You see, when I shop at thrift stores, the shops that I frequent are sorted by color. You don't go to a specific size on the rack. All my life (prior to now) I detested thrift stores because that is all we could afford when growing up. I hated everything about them (style, smell, everything). Now I go in there eagerly anticipating the great buys/finds I'll get. My, how things change! Anyway, I thought that was strange (my department store story). I'll let you know when I finally feel comfortable shopping in the Misses section (or can even walk into it). For now, it is 1/2 price days at the thrift store for me. Besides, I still have 20 lbs. to lose, which is another size. Happy Holidays to all! Hugs and love.

1.12.04 -- Today is a FANTASTIC day.

1. A friend of mine at work said that a male co-worker told her that he thought I am the thinnest female on the program.

2. A male co-worker came up to me today and said, "you look so thin."

What a beautiful day. I'm going to wearing this outfit every day for the rest of my life.
It is now called the "thin" outfit.

1.22.04 -- I went to the ob/gyn yesterday for my depo shot. I was having a nurse friend give it to me at home but thought I should go to the dr.'s office and have it done so they could check my blood pressure. I thought it may be low because I get dizzy every once in a while and have been EXTREMELY tired. My blood pressure was 100/72. I don't ever remember it being that low. I don't think it was so low that it is what is making my dizzy though. Anyway, I did get on the scale and it said 180 lbs. I'm happy. I have 21 lbs. to lose until I reach Dr. Singh's goal weight for me. I'm losing about 1 lb. a week since my six month check-up. It is slow but steady. I'm eating healthy and watching everything that goes into my mouth. My appetite has picked up so now it is really important for me to do my part and make this tool work for the long haul. Other than being horribly tired, I'm doing very good and I'm very, very happy.

2.16.04 -- I'm still on the fence around 180 lbs. I think I may be 179. I think my body has found its set-point. I'm not upset because I feel wonderful and I'm finally healthy. I do watch everything I put in my mouth to ensure that the weight doesn't sneek up on me. I bought my first pair of "medium" pants last week. I couldn't believe they fit. I don't ever remember wearing a medium. I don't ever remember wearing a size 12. The smallest I ever remember was wearing a size juniors 13 in junior high, after a summer of Weight Watcher's. I stayed a size 13 for about two years and then was a size 16 for about another two years and then you know how it goes, up, up, up. Speaking of Weight Watcher's, my kids have been on it (home version counting points) since the first week in January. My son, Ryan, who is 16, has lost over 30 lbs. My daughter, Amanda, who is 10, has lost about 8 - 10 lbs. She gets frustrated when she gets on the scale, so she doesn't do it weekly. I told her to go by how her clothes feel, which is the best indicator. She only has about 10 more lbs. to lose. Ryan has about another 30 to go. He really has a lot of will power. He makes it look so easy, which we all know it isn't. Amanda, like me, struggles with every meal. It does help all of us in the house that we don't have junk food around. If they want chips or snack type things, we get baked chips, popcorn, and sugar-free type snacks (and we don't get them often). Life is really good. I'm very happy and at peace with myself and my life. Just waiting for spring...

2.25.04 -- My one year anniversary is the last day of March. I have a little less than 20 lbs till I meet my doctor's goal for me. I highly doubt that I'll make the goal weight by 3/31, but I'm going to do everything in my power to get as close as I can. Three things I'm doing:

1) 64+ oz of water a day (a challenge for me)
2) work up to the 10K steps at day that I've been working on -- I now walk 1/4 mile to the bathroom at work 3x's a day, which increases my steps by 1.5 miles
3) gave up bread for Lent

I'll update you on my progress on 4/1/04, which is my one year doctor's appointment.

3.8.04 - Size 10, size 10, size 10, did I happen to say, "size 10?"

3.10.04 -- I will not munch, I will not crunch, I have the power to stay away from munchy, crunchy, salty, not-good-for-me, snacks.

I want to get closer to goal so bad prior to my 1st Anniversary on the 31st. I gave up bread for Lent, but I can tell that my munching on crunchy things is increasing instead of the bread habit.

So, I repeat over and over in my head:

I will not munch, I will not crunch, I have the power to stay away from munchy, crunchy, salty, not-good-for-me, snacks.

3.31.04 -- Happy First Anniversary to me! It is my day and I'm thrilled at what this past year had in store for me.

I started my day off in prayer, thanking God for carrying me through this amazing journey. I also thanked God for giving Dr. Singh the skills to perform this life saving surgery. I'm so thankful for Dr. Singh, Cathy (his nurse), my support group, my AMOS buddies, and my angelettes, Lisa and Bethany, who have given me more than I've given to them.

I feel that our experiences in life are to be shared. In sharing our life experiences, others can learn and benefit from our joys, accomplishments, battles, doubts, and fears. That is why support groups and AMOS site friendships are so important.

I hope that this experience has taught my children how important good health is and how to make proper choices in food and exercise. I hope that I've taught them through my actions that obstacles can be overcome if you are determined and have faith in God and yourself.

I'm 20 lbs to goal. I've always heard people say that it is the last pounds that are the hardest to get off. I never knew what they meant until now. I will fight to lose the 20 pounds. I know what to do and how to do it. I can do it. I will do it -- for me.

4.14.04 -- I'm having my gallbladder out on Friday. I was scared to death, due to my infection problems from my appendice operation in July, but was relieved when I was told that it is in/out and I'll be home Friday evening. I'm not nervous anymore once I found that out. Anyway, I'm hoping that having my gallbladder out will help with my nauseousness and fatigue. I really want to feel better. I'm tired of being tired. I can barely make it through the day without a nap. If the fatigue isn't better after 4 weeks post-op, then I think I'll go in for another sleep study. Maybe it is the sleep apnea. I thought it was gone since I don't wake myself up gasping anymore. I'll write more after my operation. Life is good. God is Great. Hugs.

4.26.04 -- Gallbladder is gone. Feeling pretty good. The surgery was similar to Lap RNY pain wise. I shouldn't use the word "pain" because it is more of a "discomfort" than "pain". Back to work today. Kinda sore, but glad to be in the game again. I go to see Dr. Singh on Thursday for him to check my incisions. Life is good. God is Great!

5.11.04 -- I'm not a slave to the scale so I don't get on it often. I go by how my clothes are fitting me and how I feel. Well today I did get on the scale and it was 4 lbs. lighter. I'm thrilled!!! My weight was at 180 for months. Persistance pays off! Life is good. God is GREAT!

5.14.04 -- It was definitely my gall bladder that made me feel so icky for months and months. Now that it is out, I feel so much better. I even have been going to the gym a couple of times a week. My energy has picked up and I finally don't feel nauseous after eating. Life is good. God is GREAT!!!

6.8.04 -- Summer is here. My first summer wearing a non-plus size. Last summer I was wearing a 18, which was 3 months after surgery. Ryan is finished school and is now officially a senior in high school. Amanda finishes elementary school next week. I feel so much better (physically) since having my gallbladder out. I'm finally not nauseous every time I eat. I do watch everything that I put into my mouth. I'm so concerned that the weight will creep back on. I know deep down in my heart that it will come back on if I don't watch it. I read and hear so many people say, "gone forever." They are fooling themselves in thinking that. Nothing is forever -- especially not weight-loss. We want it to be gone forever and I'll work my hardest for it to be gone forever, but to think that it will automatically be gone forever is foolish. Happy summer!!!!

7.29.04 -- I received the best compliment yesterday, it was from our cleaning lady at work. She didn't know me pre-op, so she doesn't know my background. Anyway, she came in to sweep my floor and I apologized to her for all the crumb-mess I make. I told her that I eat breakfast, lunch, and snacks at my desk every day. She said to me, "yeah you really look like you eat all the time." She meant it sarcastically, not realizing that she just gave me the biggest compliment of my life.

9.28.04: I thought I'd share something. As you can tell from the title of my post, I'm 18 months out. I'm a post-op who can EAT. I don't eat nearly as much as I did pre-op; not even a Linebacker can eat as much as I did. Anyway, I feel that I'm eating like a normal, average-size, non-food addict. But, I am a food addict, so really how do I know how much a normal, average-sized person eats? Obviously, I must be eating too much because I can't seem to get these 20 lbs. off that I've been struggling with since January. So I decided to get out one of my many Weight Watcher books and count the points that I actually do eat in a day to see where I am in the points range. Well, after day one I now know that I'm eating more than someone who is average-sized trying to lose 20 lbs. I'm probably eating the right amount to maintain my weight but not lose since I've pretty much maintained my weight since January. I wanted to share this with you because as we've been taught, this is a "tool" not a miracle. It is a miracle that we are able to lose weight at such a fast pace and we don't feel like we are starving to death while losing. But once the majority of the weight is off, we have to be aware of how much and what we are eating if we want to get to goal and/or maintain. I feel so much better now knowing for the first time in my life how much I can eat to maintain and how much I need to cut out to lose. I'll keep you updated and let you know how working the "points" does being a post-op. Wish me luck! -- Wendy

12.6.04 - Things have been busy both at work and at home. I'm still dating Art. We are getting along quite well. The kids are doing well. Ryan is choosing the colleges that he wants to apply to for the coming fall. Amanda seems to enjoy middle school and the additional freedom that comes along with it. Mom's surgery, which was scheduled for 11/30, has been postponed until 12/28, which may work out better since I'll be off on holiday break. During the month of November I attended two conventions, the first being the Washington OH Convention. I was asked to help out at the registration desk. I loved meeting so many of the people that I talk to on-line. It was GREAT. The second convention was the NObesity workshop at St. Agnes. I again worked the registration desk and LOVED it. I had a ball meeting so many people. My weight is holding. I'm working on excercising more frequently and watching my carbs. Life is good. God is GREAT! -- Wendy

1.19.05 - Happy New Year! Life is good and very busy. Mom is having her surgery next Tuesday 1/25. She has been working on this endeavor for two years. She is very excited and looking forward to a healthier life. My son has been busy applying to colleges and finishing up his senior year. I had Lasik eye surgery on 1/12; it was my 2-year wls Anniversary present to me. I love not weight glasses! Life is good. God is GREAT! -- Wendy

3.29.05 -- Where do I even begin? On Feb. 6, 2005 I was involved in a horrific accident which nearly took my daughter's life. She was thrown from the vehicle and landed 20 ft. from the car. She was flown to Shock Trauma where she was in a drug induced coma for two weeks and continued in critical care for another three weeks. She is now living at a rehabiliation center and will hopefully be home with a month. She has a Traumatic Brain Injury (BTI) and is suffering from post traumatic amnesia. She is learning to walk, eat, and function. She is considered "disabled" but with God's grace will make a full recovery within time. Through all of this I am so thankful to have my daughter with me and that her work here on earth is not done.

My two year wls anniversary is this Thursday, 3/31/05. I'm maintaining my weight and watch everything I put into my mouth. I still eat protein first, veggies second, and if there is room carbs (only once a day). I drink my water, take my vitamins, and am forever thankful for this surgery. I do struggle with my exercise but will continually remind myself and work on doing better. My mother had wls this January and is doing remarkable well. She feels great, eats well, and learned by my mistakes in the early stages what to and not to do. She is down about 40 lbs. in her eight weeks post op.

This year so far, 2005, has brought me great heartache, depair, strength, and courage. We don't know why things happen in our lives. We may never know why, but I believe through others we learn life lessons. I pray through my experience that others learn to love those who mean the most to us as we never know what tomorrow brings. God Bless. -- Wendy




On March 31, 2006, I will celebrate my third anniversary since WLS. I'm thrilled that I've maintained my weight loss for 2 1/2 years and continue to be diligent in watching what and how much I eat. I know that this is a lifetime challenge for me in order to continue to maintain my weight loss. The surgery is a tool to help with weight loss but it is not a miracle that will keep the weight off forever if you don't work at it. I'm forever grateful to Dr. Singh and his staff for their support and encouragement. I look forward to a long, healthy life. Life is good. God is GREAT. -- Wendy

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