Current Height: 5'2"
Highest Weight: 317lbs (July 2004)
October Weight: 272lbs
November Weight: 262lbs
December Weight: 269lbs was my documented weight but I about 10lbs of clothes on considering it was Dec. I asked the lady to weigh me again right before I went into surgery in just my gown and I weighed 262, same thing as my home scale...(I weigh myself in only my tshirt at home)
2 Weeks Post Op: 244lbs
Janaury Weight: 236lbs (1 Month Post)
February Weight: 222lbs (2 Months Post)
March Weight: 215lbs (3 Months Post)
April Weight: 209lbs (4 Months Post)

October 7th, 2004 - Hey everyone! My consultation has finally been sheduled with Dr. Rosati for October 27th...This is really exciting! Hopefully I'll get my date on that day...I'm praying for a late Nov/early Dec date...That would be great...I just hope my approval goes smoothly! But it should because I have good insurance...Just have to keep the weight down until then! Keep me in your prayers!

October 28, 2004 - Guess what? I GOTTA DATE! *does the snoopy dance* I'm set for the 2nd of December! Wow, am I ever excited! I'm going to try to set up another journal online seperate from my personal journal to track how I'm doing with my WLS journey...That way I can just copy and paste those entries onto here and onto my website...Then I'll have my personal online journal to rant about just life in general (whenever it decides to work, lol!) I think that will make things alot easier...It might take some time tho to back-date the entries and reorganize but I can do it! But anyway, please pray for a smooth insurance approval process! I love you guys so much, thank you! Peace!

November 24th, 2004 - Hahaha! Well slap my ass and call me Susie! I'M APPROVED!!! Yay yay yay yay yay! It was getting down the to wire and I honestly thought nothing was gonna happen...I was so upset...I had slept in this morning (again...I have picked up a bad habit of staying up late again, Grrrrrr!) and my mom calls me in the morning to make sure that I'm awake (because I'll go right back to bed even after my cell phone alarm has gone off)...We're talking about the usual stuff, I honestly can't remember now because I am so elated and at that point I was half asleep still, and before we get off the phone she asks me if I'm calling Dr. Rosati's office today...I just felt really apathetic about the whole thing being as I had 1 week and day before my surgery...So I told her No, I don't care (meaning as if it happens, it happens)...She's like Fine then, I will call...I gave her the number and waited for her to call me back...She calls me back and she goes I talked to Stephanie...I said Oh? She says Yeah, I'm sorry...I laugh and go Really? (I was like heh, no surprises there) And then she goes (in this mellow voice) Yeah, you've been approved...I'm like You're serious? And I broke down crying...I've always read about people crying as soon as they find out and thinking Oh that's so silly, I won't do that...HA! Yeah right! NOW I see what the big deal is! It really does take a toll on you, waiting like that...My mom told me that Stephanie said the only way they would've called is if something went wrong...Otherwise everything was all set...I'm like so there's nothing else I have to do? No calling CDPHP to get a pre-auth or anything? My mom goes No, she said you're all set, all I have to do is show up...HAHA! HOLY CRAP! THAT IS SO FREAKING AWESOME!!! YYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! *does the snoopy dance* Oh yeah, and to top that off, 264 this morning! Wooofreakinghoooo baby! Exactly 130 lbs to get to goal now...Amazing! But even if I don't make it, I'm so excited! I can't wait to see what I weigh at the hospital to see how much my home scale and their scale differs...Everything just seems so attainable now...I've come so damn far and there's no stopping me now!

November 27th, 2004 - I've finally had my last Thanksgiving...There's so much to be thankful for this year...I've been having alot of "Last Meal" foods...Pasta, Cinnamon Sugar Pretzels, Oreo cheesecake, I had stuffing and sweet potatoes with marshmellows on them on Thanksgiving Day...I really want my mom to fix me stuffed shells but being as it's so close to my surgery, they would really mess up my digestive track! Not good, lol...I had the last of my pre-op testing the other day...It went good...I also got my approval letter from CDPHP in the mail today...So I'm all set...Dr. Rosati's office called and said my surgery is at 1:20 in the afternoon...That kind of sucks, I wanted to go first...I had wanted to go first only to get it over with because I'm impaitent and hate waiting but I suppose it's okay...There's nothing I can do now...I found out I only stand 5'2" tall at the Dr's office so I've changed my profile and my website...That's insane...I've been thinking I was 5'4" for the longest time...Like years...Now I'm even shorter than I thought! Uggggghhhhh! Oh well, haha! It's kind of funny...I'm scared and excited at the same time about this coming Thursday...All my relatives have given me well wishes and are praying for me, so that makes me feel safe...Only 4 more days...Excluding today of course...But who's counting? Lol

December 2nd, 2004 (12:42AM) Wow...Surgery day already huh? Time has gone so fast...Thank you everyone for all your wonderful wishes...I know with all your prayers God will definitely be on my side guiding me and my surgeon every step of the way...I've had absolute faith in him ever since I've Let Go and Let God and put it 100% into HIS hands...If it's meant to be, it's meant to be...God has bought me to it and He'll bring me through it so everything will be alright...I'm scared, nervous and excited all at once...I went up to Albany today to spend the afternoon with my best girlfriend Chris...She's so awesome but you can tell she is somewhat scared for me...She can't believe I'm doing it but I think she's happy for me...We did our traditional walk down to Paesan's and had pizza...Damn it was soo good too! I don't think I'll miss it too much...At least not for awhille anyway...You can eventually have anything in moderation, I heard...I cleaned the house some more, did a shitload of laundry, took a shower, watched the Nick and Jessica thing, packed...Somehow I still feel like I'm forgetting something...Like there's something I'm not doing...I have no idea...Everyone has been saying I can't be any more prepared but damnit...Things have been so insane lately, I've been running around like a chicken with it's head cut off! I'm so scared it's gonna hurt...But I guess it can't hurt any worse then when I had that thing on my butt! Holy Shit! That was more than a ten! I honestly couldn't walk, I couldn't drive, I couldn't do anything...So so sooooo incredibly agonizingly horrible...So it can't possibly be any worse than that...I'll just think of that plus the combination of when I had that cyst on my ovary and couldn't get out of bed and ummm yeah...I'll be up and moving and no time, ha ha! Well I should be going...I have to get up at 5:30...Eww...I hate mornings...I'm soooo not a morning person...I have to be at the hospital at 8:15 and I go into the OR at 9:50 (Not 1:20 like stated before, that was my old nutritionist appt scheduled for the same day that I never cancelled...How funny right?)...Wish me luck and I'll see you on the other side, LOSING BABY! OH HELLZ YEAH!!!

December 6th, 2004 - YAY! Guess who's offically a postie? That's right, ME! I did it! Thank the good Lord, Jesus, I have made it safely to the other side...It's been relatively easy for me so far...I'm not going to say it's been a walk through the park...I've had my rough spots...I actually had my first experience with "dumping" my third day post-op when I stupidly tried to experiment with tea, splenda, soy creamer, and skim milk...That was NOT pleasant! I didn't even realize you weren't supposed to do that until 15 days out...*smacks forehead* Duh! My mom told me later on... I must've skipped that part *sheepish grin*...That is NOT smart so please DON'T do what I did! Lol, that's what I get for trying to rush things...Otherwise than that little "10 o' clock" incedent (Yes, I had actually gone to bed thinking Oh I'll be fine, it's been a few minutes...It wasn't until I got up to the bathroom that I thought Shit, I'm gonna puke! It hurt like a bitch too!) things have gone smoothly...Throughout the day I nosh on diet orange jello, soup broth, crystal lite tea, water, SF caribbean popsicles, and whatever pills I have to take...Oh joy! It's hard not to want real food...I'm dying to chew something crispy and salty (crackers, chips maybe? I don't even know), but I really don't want to fall back into bad habits again...Ewww, no that would be horrible...I'm praying for willpower and strength from God that he'll get me the rest of the way through this...I had a request awhile ago to write about my hospital stay so I will get that done as soon as I can...I get stiff sitting at the computer for a long time...Well I'm gonna end it here...I wrote more than I thought...Oh well...I love you all and thank you again for your kind words and prayers, it meant so much to me while in the hospital!

December 15th, 2004 - Hey what's up? Just wanted to check in with everyone...I'm down 73lbs from my highest weight of 317 and 25lbs from my offical pre-op weight...That's friggin amazing...It's just coming off so fast! I can definitely see a difference in the mirror...My mom can see it too...No one else has seen me yet...Christina is still in school, she doesn't come home until this weekend...I can't wait to see her...I'm having a hard time getting all my fluids in...I'm scared I'm gonna have to go back to the hospital and get an IV...I ordered some vits and protein shakes from Vitalady so hopefully that'll get me back on track...I'm almost off of my pain meds...I only take it now as needed...I still have a pain in my left shoulder from the epidural...I was struggling real bad the first week with head hunger but it's not too bad anymore...Cuz now I only have until Friday and my mom said she'd make me my fave scrambled eggs with CHEESE! OH MY LORD! Can't wait! I love cheese...and eggs...and yogurt...and oatmeal...and cream of wheat...and farina...I've been anticipating soft foods for like EVER! hehe...YAY! I have no idea where I am clothes wise...I don't really try anything on yet because I'm afraid I'll hurt myself, lol...I think I'm into a men's 42 and a women's 22...From like a men's 46 and a women's 28...So not too bad...I lost the freaking piece of paper that had my pre-op measurements on it! I'm so upset! They were from when I weighed 262...They were on the desk and when I went through my "nesting" phase they somehow got misplaced...Damnit...So I have no idea...Only 100lbs from my goal of 145! YAYNESS! Well that's all for now...Later dayz!

January 5th, 2005 - Has it already been a month already? Man, time flies I suppose! I'm down 81lbs from my highest weight of 317 and 33lbs from my offical pre-op weight of 269...As of this morning I weighed 236 at 1 month post op! YAY! Not too bad I guess...
Clothes wise: I'm wearing mainly 22's and baggy 24's...Some 18's if they're stretchy...I seem to have saved no 20's in my closet (must've skipped over them somehow back in HS!)...Everything that's baggy is baggy right in the front where my gut hangs down...I'm like Yeah, make it look worse! So if things are tighter there, it gives the illusion that my stomach is flatter which is always a good thing (since I am an "hourglass", hehe)...

Food wise: Things could be a little better...I tend to get sick an awful lot it seems...Not sure on why that is...I don't eat fast and I don't eat that much sugar...Things that stay down one day just don't stay down the next...My pouch has a mind of it's own I guess...Usually things that are fine in the morning, don't agree with me at night...Some things that I like at a month out are water (saw that coming right?), OJ, apple juice, lunch meat (turkey and chicken w/ mayo are my faves...I can eat roast beef and ham but they just kind of "sit there" right now even if I chew them well...), cottage cheese, mashed potates (I try not to eat as much of these now as they're all carbs), yogurt, SF popsicles, and for a snack at night, I found that I can eat PB on saltines...Which is odd because I used to hate PB pre-op! I am thinking I am pregnant...Haha, J/K!!! I heard about these weird food cravings, now I believe them...I tried eating lunch meat at night for protein but I found I couldn't because it also just "sits there" even poultry, until I wake up the next morning, which is a horrible feeling...You wake up thinking there's a rock in your chest! Ugh, it's not good and you want to puke just brushing your teeth...(Oh yeah, that taste in my mouth when I wake up in the morning is gone too by the way...So that's awesome...) I've been craving pizza...I don't know if it's the pizza really, I think it's just the sauce...I love tomato sauce...I used to put just that and cheese together, heat it up and eat it...I didn't even need the bread...I also want pickles...And mushrooms...Must be something missing in my diet...I haven't started chewing ice yet so that's a good sign!

Energy: My enegry level is getting there...I don't sleep all the time like I used to...I've been trying hard to get back on a regular sleep schedule...Getting up and going to bed early...I like being active during the day...My friend is staying home from college this semester so she will keep me busy...We're going to be going to the gym together so that will help boost my metabolism...I haven't driven my car yet...It's been over a month...That's been really weird...Having everyone drive me everywhere...I feel like I'm in high school again, lol...But now it's different because I having for 5 years and knowing what to look for so I'm constantly telling people, "Red light!", "Stop sign!" "Car!"...It's funny, but I'm paranoid...It's like, do other people do that to me when I'm driving? I know my mom does...I really can't wait to get back up to speed though and feel "normal" again...Because I still get tired very easily it seems...I can't walk the mall for hours on end then stay up on the computer all night talking about all the hot guys that were there...It's either one or other now, pretty much...People tell me that it'll take a while to get back to where I was because it was a major surgery and I'm gonna need time to heal, even if I do act alright now...I mean I do feel alot better, but yeah it has only been a month and that's gonna take a toll on my body...So it's gonna take alot of time...But you know me, I'm young and impatient, LMAO! Ready to get back into the swing of things right this second...

Overall: There has been days where I've been really pissed and like OMG, I hate this! WHY ON EARTH DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF!? And yes, this was recent! I know, you're like, C'mon? A MONTH Post-op? Yup! Because I was STILL getting sick for pretty much no reason and it's not a stricture...But it's not my fault...I am doing this whole nutrition part blindly...I have called my nutrionist, Dr. Alger, three times and she has yet to return my phone calls...Her office is booked up until March but yet I am/was supposed to see her SIX WEEKS after my surgery date...So, it's not my fault if I am eating the wrong things...I only know what to eat from what Dr. Rosati has told me, from what other various post-op patients have told me, and what I've read on the internet...Now it won't be fair to me if I have to go back and have a revision because of her not returning my phone calls and making wait and loosing my chance to lose the most weight that I can within my "honeymoon" period...Of course that's me thinking the worse case senario, ya know...It's just hard for me trying to do this on my own...I understand she's busy, but the least she could do is call me back and tell me some tips over the phone in a 15 min. phone call! I am her patient and she has been seeing me for two years! Gosh, woman...Ugh, well sorry for rambling about that...Otherwise, I am very happy when I look in the mirror...I re-organized my closet the other day from the clothes that I had bought myself pre-op...I was really suprised when most of them fit! I mean, they were mainly shirts and stuff, but some of them were larges! I guess I am built funny to have a large fit me...I must have a weird closet or my boobies must've shrunk...Usually things have to have an "X" in front of them to fit over my boobs, lol! Everyone says I look great though...The other thing is that's weird, my girlfriend says the more weight I lose, the shorter I look...Did anyone else notice that? I feel like it too! When I go to the store, everyone around me looks taller! Am I shrinking? She's 5'7", and I know I just found out that I am 5'2" but dayum, it has to be just all in my head right? When I stand next to her I feel so short now! 5'2" in the dictionary is "petite" but this is ridiculous! Until next time...

February 6th, 2005 - I didn't update on the day of my anniversary but I didn't wait TOO long to update! Lol. To get you up to date, I've lost 95lbs from my highest weight of 317 and I've lost 47lbs from my official pre-op weight of 269. Go me. Almost down 100 and 50 both ways. As of this morning I weighed a grand total of 222 at 2 months post-op. Awesomeness!

Clothes-wise: HOLY-SHIT! Alright...I just had to get that out of my system. Okay well, clothes haven't really changed that much, but WOW! Going shopping is so much fun! I have a better sense of fashion now and can actually pick up some cool things in the juniors dept again! I haven't been able to do that in a long time. Granted everything fits oddly because of skin and funky cuts (ex. lowriders do not work with a pouch and a ghetto booty). But I have this fond love of blazers now. You can dress them up, down, whatever, and they still look great regardless. They also hide your baggy arm chickenflesh...Yay! I'm in a strectchy size 18 but mainly 20's and 22's...Some 22's fall off me and some 20's I can't even even squeeze my knees into. I have no idea how that works. I guess it all depends on the brand. But 24's are getting to be a No-Can-Do anymore without a belt. I had a guy friend over and we were having a tickle fight and when I went to stand up to get a drink a water, I damn near lost I pants. No lie. I stood up and they were almost to the bottom of my buttcheeks. He missed it though, thank God. But I thought it was funny.

Food wise: I finally went to see Dr. Alger for my appt. It went pretty good. She gave me a menu of foods I could eat, and should eat. I also got some blood work drawn. I am low in Iron and Zinc. Maybe that explains why I am tired and drained all the time. Eeep! Anyway, She said everything I was eating was pretty good. My favorite foods right now are string cheese sticks, yogurt, juicy juice boxes, pizza, and gordon popcorn fish. I eat ALOT of the first three. The second two, not very often, I just like them. I always try to eat my protein first. It helps when I eat my meals with my family. Which is usually only dinner. But my mom always cooks really healthy, well balanced meals. They include a protein, a vegtable, and a fruit. I don't really like fruit, but I always eat the protein and at least try the veggie. I have to eat alot of yogurt right now because I was on an anti-biotic for an pilionidal cyst and didn't want a yeast infestion. The yucky taste in my mouth finally went away but I change toothpastes like crazy. It's like the mint just gets to me anymore. So now I am using the kids bubblegum flavored kind. The mint aftertaste I found was making me nauseated. I chew gum too, which you're not supposed to because of swallowing (it could get stuck) and the swallowing air factor. I've never had a problem with swallowing gum so I don't really worry. But I find that when my mouth starts getting foamy, that's when it's time to spit the gum out or the air is gonna make me uncomfortable and it's time to get something to drink.

Energy: On a scale of 1 to 10, my energy would be a 6.5. Maybe because I'm lazy or maybe because I have been sick with with pilionidal. But I really haven't felt like doing much of anything. I can drive my own car now and stay up until all hours of the night again but what I need to do is start lifting some weights and get my lethargic ass outside walking. AYE! The fucking sunshine would do me some good ya know? For real.

Overall: Overall, I'm doing very well and have been really happy with the outcome of the surgery. I am looking better, feeling better, and getting healthier. On an overall scale of 1 to 10, right now I'm about a 7.5. Only because I could be doing ALOT more to see results. I should have new pix soon too.

April 27th, 2005 - Gah, sorry I've been really lousy with updating. I guess it happens to everyone. It seems like you get so busy after having this surgery because you want to go go go all the time.

So let's see, I'm wearing a strictly size 18. Stretchy or not. I can shop in the juniors dept at most stores. How exciting is that?! I can also wear a size 16 skirt. I haven't seen 16 in ANYTHING I don't think ever, and if I did it was so long ago I don't remember.

Food wise, I can eat anything in small portions except milk and ice cream. Sometimes things with too much sugar can bother me but it's not often which is a bad thing. I never thought I'd be unable to eat cereal because I was so good with milk before. It's kind of sad. But I think I drank enough milk as a kid that I shouldn't get osteoporosis.

My enegery level is through the roof right now! I love going all day long and not sitting down till dinner. I'm definitely a shop till you dropper now! I like taking the stairs instead of the elevator and parking in a spot far away from the store and WALKING just because I can. Sometimes I even just want to take off and run because I can. I even started going to the gym this month. I can do the epliptical machine, the treadmill and the bike for half hours now! I never thought that would be possible. The only thing I couldn't do was the stair master. I died on that contraption in about 6 minutes! I thought I was going to have a heart attack on that damn thing because my chest started to hurt and my heart was beating really fast so I had to stop.

Overall everything is great. I'm definitely getting more attention from guys now. I've started to look people in the eye and smile instead of always looking at the ground and being self-conscience. I'm not afraid to walk up to people and say hi now because I'm overweight. Not to sound conceited but with my clothes on, I know I look good. Without clothes, not so good. I've lost my 44DD boobies and I'm now into a 38D Long. Haha! I could probably fly away if I flapped my arms hard enough and my thighs can clap a beat to a song. But it's really not that bad. I know I'm not going to be playboy model anytime soon so I really could care less! I only dump on milk and ice cream, which isn't bad. I don't need ice cream anyway. I'm wearing the smallest size clothes I've ever worn since high school which was back in '99. My enegery has skyrocket and I don't regret having the surgery one bit. My scar is kind of funky looking still but I'm hoping one day it might flatten out. Mine keloided a little in spots but don't let that scare you. One day I'll post a picture of it.