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Tami S.
Federalsburg, MD, USA
Post Op - BMI: 26.5
Surgery Type: RNY
Member ID: Steilkie949112269
Surgeon: Roy Smoot, M.D.

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Click here for the 10/2002 Reunion Page
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Hi everyone! My name is Tami Steilkie. I am a 27 year old married female from Cambridge, Maryland. I have been looking into weight loss surgery for over 5 years and have been turned down 3 times for surgery in that time. Now thanks to the new law that the state of Maryland has my dream may become a reality. I was seeing Dr. Bass at the University of Maryland, but that is too far for me to travel on a regular basis so I got lucky and heard about a surgeon in nearby Seaford, Delaware.

My first appointment with Dr. Smoot is on Friday June 21, 2002 at 8:00 a.m. which makes me so nervous. I am worried because I have read that my particular insurance company requires at least 12 months consecutive physician monitored diet, which I have had in a round about way. According to my doctor that last time that they were able to weigh me was in May of 1999. The scales only go so high! I am guessing that I am about 400 lbs. right now. And that my BMI is about 67. But what the hell I am going to do it anyway. But back to the appointment...... I am taking my aunt with me because my husband has to work and one thing I have learned from the other 3 times is that you need SUPPORT! My aunt is like my best friend and for her to be by my side means the world to me. At my first appointment they said that they allow you to bring someone to sit and learn about the process and after care with you. That is a major plus. It is so important to have someone else there because they usually remember that questions that I want to ask that I forget in the potential surgery daze!

I have been heavy all my life. Dad died of a heart attack at 40! That is scary. That is my biggest fear. My mom, grandmother, aunts, uncles and other family members all have major health problems, some controlled by medicine and others can’t be helped. Like I said before I am only 27 years old! That is an age that is should be able to do anything. But I can’t.... I have severe sleep apnea and sleep with a c-pap, diabetes, back problems, hypothyroid, joint and back problems and most of all the one thing that breaks my heart is the pain and problems that I have just walking! I know that some people claim that they don't eat a lot and I can believe that but I do eat a lot! I have a big stomach and I am never full! I am estimating that my actual stomach can hold about a gallon or more. That is a hell of a lot! Weight is holding me back from doing so much, even simple things. I would love to just be able to go on a ride at the amusement park with my husband. Last summer we went to Six Flags and I went to get on a water ride and couldn't get the seatbelt on!!!! Oh my god! Talk about being embarrassed. Or even trying to go on the water flume and not being able for them to get the bar down......... Things like that just are depressing as shit. I want to be able to go out on a boat with out worrying about being to heavy or go on a walk without losing my breath after like 10 steps!

Through out every thing my husband and family have been very supportive and that means the world to me. Sometimes though I don't think they really understand what I am going through, except my mom. She is about 400 plus lbs also. She has struggled with her weight all of her adult life and is 51 now and can she can barley walk. That is sad. I don't want to end up like that I want to have children but the doctor said that I could not have them because of the high insulin level due to my diabetes. But I know I need to do something to make this all right and surgery is just a small part of that.

I will be updating everyone as to what develops at my first meeting with Dr. Smoot.

One thing I am looking for is an ANGEL! So if you can help me feel free to drop me a line at Tamitoez@aol.com.

9/2/02: Well guys here i sit at home and can barley wait till 9/13 that is when i go to get my date! This feels so unreal. I have gone throught this so many times before. I am still looking for an angel and tha way it looks i am not going to get one! Which makes me sad. I am at that stage where i know i am oging to get my surgery so i am eating everything in site so i really need to stop doing that. But i know that things will get better from here. Well i just wanted to jot down those few comments.

9/13/02: Well here it is it is official! I have a date 10/08/02 That is the best news in like forever. And i lost three pounds! So that was exciting it must all that practice chewing! lol!

Here is a great poem that i found and it hit home! BIG TIME!

A Poem by Barbara Rice

So many nights, I whimpered and cried,
Thought that my prayers had all been denied.
Stuffing my feelings, ashamed of my plight,
Trying to stop, with all of my might.
Shoving in cold spaghetti, at three in the morning,
Frying shrimps by the time the daylight was dawning.
Drinking gallons of soda, my heart wildly beating,
Hating myself, 'cause I couldn't stop eating.
The monster in me would come out to play,
And as much as I begged him, he wouldn't go 'way.
Morning would come, and that is when,
The whole vicious cycle would start once again.
Tears would be streaming, I felt like a cow,
I wanted to stop, but I didn't know how.
Boarding a plane, and seeing the fear
In the eyes of the others..." Don't let her sit here!"
Walking a block, and feeling such pain,
That I went right back home to start eating again.
" Your face is so pretty! Start using your head!"
"Just eat smaller portions , " my family said.
" Put down the fork! Push back from the table!"
That's what my friends said...But I wasn't able.
" Willpower's the secret! We'll help you get through it!"
" TRY HARDER, " they urged...But I couldn't do it.
I tried every diet to get back on track,
I'd lose weight and then just gain twice as much back!
Every morning I'd pray, " God let me be good..."
Then I'd fail once again...and no one understood.
Each new day would bring another attempt,
Each evening would bring still more self-contempt.
Filled with self-loathing, such awful remorse,
Simply unable to get back on course.
Overwhelmed with this state of awful depression,
Giving in to this dark, paralyzing obsession.
I thought to myself, " You'll always be fat..
Accept it, move on! Learn to live with that fact! "
Questioning God and wondering why,
Positive that I was destined to die.
Yet something inside me was whispering, "No..
There MUST be a way..It HAS to be so."
I felt a new Barbara was waiting inside me,
And it was her voice, I permitted to guide me.

I knew I could no longer go on this way,
Desperate and dying, bit by bit, day by day.
So I got on my knees, and prayed for relief,
Then God sent a miracle to lessen my grief.
A way to stop eating, so crazy I thought,
Went against everything I had been taught.
This was my last option, I felt like a jerk
If this didn't do it, then NOTHING would work!
So I trusted the doctors, wholly and blindly,
And my God smiled down, completely and kindly.
An unorthodox treatment, but working so well,
To help lift me OUT of this ongoing hell.
A surgical wonder, that acts as a tool
To battle the fat, which has made life so cruel.
So as scared as I was, I knew I'd get through it...
Since I was so much more afraid not to do it.
And it went very smoothly, and I'm convinced that
That pain was less than the pain of this fat.
Nothing could hurt more than being this size,
While seeing the pity in everyone's eyes.
That part of my life is over and done,
But I'll never forget the place I come from.
I'll always be grateful, I'll always be driven
To bestow upon others the support I've been given.
The obsession has lifted, I'm whole and I'm free,
God and my surgeon gave my life back to me.
I 've learned to eat slowly, I've learned how to chew
Enjoying my food, as normal folks do.
I eat when I'm hungry, I stop when I'm not,
Being fat, in this life, will not be my lot.
I eat not for sport, but just to survive,
My whole life is changing...I'm glad I'm alive!
I will reach the goal that I'm aiming toward,
I've truly been blessed...Thank You, Dear Lord.
The peace that I feel is calming and true,
And for those who still suffer...I wish it for you.

9/29/02 At least i think that is the date! lol. Well the time is rapidly approaching and man i have never been so crazy scared, happy at the same time in my life. I have so much going through my head that to some my thoughts may seemed scattered, but to most of you guys it makes MAD sense!...
Someone posted something to my surgery page that made me think........I have heard your prayer, I have seen your tears. Surely..I will heal you." 2 Kings 20:5 ... That is touching! It made me sit back and think and realize that all this time someone, anyone has been listening. So in that in it self is my blessing!

11/29/02
OMG! It has been forever since i updated..I am now 7 weeks post op and feeling great!!!!!!!!! I am very pleased with the progress that i have made. Only problem is that i have not really noticed the wiegh loss. Others really have but i have not yet so hopefully i will soon. We got up at 5 am and went to wal mart and got all the great goodies that they had on sale. I got back to Dr. Smoots office on 12/06/02 for my 2 month check up so i hope that i have made killer progress by then. The xmas season has officially begun......

01/03/03 Geeeshhhhhhhh! Feels like forever since i have updated my page. Life is going great i am down to a size 24 from a 32 so i cant telly ou how happy that makes me but chances are that if you are reading this you have or will know my joy soon. I cant wait to go to florida at the end of this month for vacation this will be my first trip to the magic kingdom!!!! I have gotten some really great clothes from some great ppl on this website so i cant wait to pass them on as i SHRINK!!! Well i will update a week from today to let you know my current weight hopefully i will have hit my -100 lb mark by then.

Well it is Feb. 21 2003 and i joined wweight watchers yesterday for the support that i am lacking, dont get me wrong my family is very supportive but i need some people around me that are trying to lose the weight also but any way i weighted in at get this drummmmmmm rollll pleaseeeeeeeeeee................278.8 lost about 120 lbs.
Disorder Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

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November 30, 2003.... Geeeshhhhhhhhhhh My friend Betty wasn't kidding when she said that i needed to update my profile. Well i feel great, i could use a lot of exercise!!!! My current weight is about 225 and i am not too happy about that. I wish that i would lose another 26 lbs! lol i would love to be under 200 that would make my day. I will be posting a new pick soon hopefully.

God... Lets see it is June 2005 and it has been over a year since i have updated this. I have gone through so many changes in the past year or so. For one i am seperated from my husband and living with a great man who treats me really well and we are expecting our first child! I will be having a BOY! Shawn, Jr. is due in October. I can't explain who crazy the past year and a half has been, i met a new man and fell in love after learning that my husband of over 8 years was having an afair.......... talk about feeling shitty but hey all is great now!

Future update

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