ObesityHelp

3-30-03 It's darn cold out today but probably the last snow we will see for months. Hubby and i spent the day together. He took me to the support meeting in Martins Ferry Ohio. He is stuck since I'm still not ok'ed to drive. He enjoyed meeting everyone and got to hear what actually goes on in the support group since he has had to eat, breath and sleep this bypass stuff since late December. I think he's lucky. Most people have to wait a year or more to get this far. He is being creative in trying new recipes and food to see what I can tolerate. So far 19 days post i can eat mashed potatoes and gravy, nuts, cheese, Wendy's chili and scrambled. He even found a way for me to have coffee again that tastes like I had but not the same sugar. The support group were very warm people willing to share. I already knew Jennifer somewhat and she looked great. Just one month out and she is doing good. I could get used to seeing those people but when I go back to work, I'm usually 7 days a week. I don't think they will warm with 2 little kids running around as I am a day care provider and usually always have em on Sundays. Jon and I went to his favorite Chinese place and the nice waiter made me some egg foo young. He only charged me 1.99 for it. Of course he got a big tip. When we went to Bonanza yesterday I told them I had had stomach surgery and wanted to know if they could charge me for some mashed potatoes and gravy like the side dish of shrimp which was 1.49 and they said I could have it for .99 and they brought me this HUGE bowl full. I ate a minute amount and left the rest. We ate out a lot and tipped very well so these people are being very good to us as a result of that. Jonathan is an excellent cook but I prefer to eat out and not have a mess to clean up. Got some soy nuts and sugar free Russell Stover chocolate for those desperate times. The cigarette monster keeps lurking and I'm really upset with myself as I don't want those chemicals in my body robbing my vitamins but old habits die hard. I'll keep fighting with it. Still getting beautiful handmade cards from my angel. How could I be the lucky one? I got a get well card from one of my customers at the casino and was so surprised. She teaches nursing at a nearby hospital. I also got a card from the receptionist at the day care agency that pays me to provide day care. Still not getting in enough water and asked those at the support group about their experiences. They are doing fine so I need to step it up. Hubby and I watched a lot of movies this weekend both at the theatre and rentals. I went through my closet today and took out some stuff to either sell, give away or keep. Two more closets to go. I'm sure each month I'll do some more as things get big. Still trying to believe this has all happened. Some people have been small at one point in their life and can see this process unfolding but I have NEVER been small so this is all foreign to me as I haven't weighed under 230 lbs. since Jr. High. This is all going to take some time to believe. Suzanne O keeps getting road blocks thrown in her place. Some people are really tested and I don't understand why but perhaps it's not for me to question. My heart breaks for her as she hits one problem after the other. My dear angel is getting closer and I know she will be ready but she will be in disbelief once weeks turn into days. Gonna devote a couple days for taxes before the nice weather hits again in a couple days. Thank you NancyJo!

4-2-03 It's official: I'm 22 days post-op! Finally got my post-op doctor appointment changed to the 10th. That will be perfect as I only want to weigh every 30 days. Not gonna sweat the scales every week as I think it will help with the plateaus and worring about the numbers. It is supposed to be glorious out today so I will spend the day outside. Drove for the first time yesterday (shhhhh), not supposed to be yet but took my sister to Pa. in my hubby's van to get fencing. Walking from one end of Home Depo to the other tired me out so I came home and jumped in bed a couple hours later. Youngest son called from my daughters and said he want's to move back home. I will clear out the spare bedroom and we will be a bigger family by the weekend! I'm getting frustrated for not being able to work outside or help with much. I can do dishes and light house work but that is getting old. Oh well, I found out several times that with this surgery- you can't cheat in the recovery. EACH AND EVERY TIME I TRY TO OVERDO, IT COMES BACK TO HAUNT ME, so I give up and do what I'm supposed to for pete's sake. They came to pick up my big recliner I rented to sleep in. I have managed to get the cold that everyone else has around this town and pissed to have it. I also ordered some real meals today. I hope I enjoy them but boy are they expensive! Does anyone know of something comparable but not so expensive? My angel Nancyjo is still hammering away at the good tidings and I am grateful for her. Suzanne O from Ohio is still jumping through hoops like mad. She was supposed to have this surgery the same day as me and I'm really sad that we couldn't go through this the same time. I will try to guide her down the right path, having gotten several weeks ahead of the game.

4-6-03 It's Sunday night and the war is a furry. I had a nice weekend but spent it indoors since it's cold out. Went to the movies Friday and found blood in my navel. I wanted to freak but assumed it was because of this lousy cold and my coughing a lot. I got on a chat in this site and they said "contact your doc immediately" and that scared the shit outta me! I called him and felt so bad cuz it was 11pm and i hated like hell to wake him but that was as soon as we got back from Pa. He called me back instantly and didn't seem too worried. Said put peroxide in it and if I was worried, go to ER. I would rather take a beating as to go to ER! I have no veins whatsoever! they always have an impossible time finding a vein. they are flat when you do actually find one. I thought i would play the waiting game and it has since cleared up. Really scared me to death. I did go to Taco Bell with hubby yesterday and ate mashed potatoes and gravy but also brought home a chicken quesadilla for dinner. I didn't eat the tortilla but the insides were great. So far everything has stayed down. Friday I did mix Real Meals with ice, peaches and almond extract. I drank it too fast and was nauseaus for about an hour. i had it today and did not feel sick. It's good but I hate that kinda stuff. I will use all the packets (1/2 packet per day) because of the peptides. My nails are growning like crazy since I'm not doing so much work. Hubby continues to be very tenative. It's getting easier to get all the water in. I'm fighting evening cravings. Maybe I'm not eating enough. 3 meals of 3 oz. and one snack. I made deviled eggs today and kept that down too. Can't wait till Thursday to weigh in but I'm really afraid I'm gonna be disapointed. It will be one month and I know this weight will come off slow. I've never ever even lost as much as 50 pounds before so it will be quiet a shock for me. I'm scared I will get discouraged. With my angel by my side, this is all so much easier and I know she will be there for me whatever the scale says. Thank you Nancyjo! you were truly sent from Heaven!

3-10-03 Today was the big day! At one month I was to see the surgeon and get weighed. When I got there he said his scale was broken. I explained it may seem insignificant but since I am only gonna weigh myself once a month, it was important to me. I went to plan B and tried 3 differnt scales. Two said 231 pounds and one said 220 so I can probably say I have lost 24 pounds this past month. Can't complain. Couldn't have done better any other way. Haven't weighed 199 pounds since I was 15 so that is the day I'm waiting for. Perhaps in 2 more months. I did get my new measurments and did my 2nd video. I'm gonna be really glad I did that. Suzanne is finally having her surgery in the morning and I'm very happy for her. She has been through a lot since hers got cancelled. We were to go the same day. It's her time finally. My dear Angel is hitting road blocks now and it is very depressing. Why do insurance companies put people through all this then approve it after you are emotionally emptied? Really bummed that she is gonna start jumping through hoops. My doc is releasing me on the 20th. Can't wait till next week when the weather is supposed to be in the 70's. I'm really tired of the cold.Still fighting to get water in. Not hungry at all till around 2 pm and then the hunger hits hard around 8pm and lasts for a while. Old habits suck. I'm still taking a nap from 2-4 during the day then can't sleep at night. It is almost 2 am and here I sit. NancyJo don't loose hope. I have enough for the both of us. Support meeting was nice last night but I kinda like the smaller ones in Martins Ferry Ohio. The people there are so friendly and you get to ask all the questions you want. Gonna go and sulk for awhile. NancyJo I'll be hangin' in with you all the way...................(after the shock wears off).

4-16-03 So glad to hear that Suzanne from Zanesville is finally a loser AND is home! My angel is one month away from another doctor apt. and getting closer to a new life. I am plugging away and working a lot in the yard. The day I saw the surgeon his assistant was supposed to send my "release to go back to work" info and didn't so I probably will be out a week's pay. I told her when I was there that 2 simple sentences were to be faxed to the toll free number "that day" and when I called one week later she still hadn't! I typed it myself and sent it to her so she could sign her signature and fax it. This is very frutstrating because each and every time I dealt with her it was a disaster! She is the one that almost cost me my surgery by NOT informing me I couldn't eat anything 5 days prior to surgery. She said she forgot. I happen to find out what I needed to do from a couple of local ladies that have the same surgeon. Perhaps the doc needs more help or better help? Do ya think! My weight is sloooowwww coming off still. I'm trying to be patient but I've been looking at this body in the mirrow for so many years I just want a magic wand and have it be gone. I am released to go back to work on the 20th so life will get busier from here. I think hectic explains it better. I do have one final weekend to enjoy so we will do a lot I'm sure. I'm still trying to deal with the constipation and get more water in. Trying to remember to eat one prune a day. I did get a hard shell taco supreme to go down and was thrilled. Not having trouble with any foods so far. Can't wait to eat salad or steak but not ready to try it yet. Chicken fingers with Ranch dressing is very yummy also. I'm finding cottage cheese, peanut butter and string cheese to be a good staple during the course of the day. Still getting the most beautiful hand made cards from my angel. Each one has it's own life form and I am so impressed with her creativity. Thank you NancyJo for gracing my life!

3-27-03
Hello to all of you reading my profile! 46 days ago this new journey started for me. I am very grateful for this opportunity as I have tormented myself all my life about my weight. My mom, out of frustration and not knowing what to do would say to me "look at her/him"..... "that's what you are gonna look like if you don't quit eating so much". Boy did that play a number on my head for years to come. Both her and my sister were trim and beautiful. I was the plain fat one and I was reminded daily by my environment and people. Well, now is my time after all these years but the weight is coming off so slowly I am getting discouraged. It has been aprox. 7 weeks and I'm still wearing the same clothes, however loose but I was hoping to be a good deal smaller by now. At 4 weeks post I had lost 25 pounds and the weeks past that I don't feel any smaller. I go back to work in 5 days and I will be so upset if some of the jealous co workers make stupid remarks like "did you have the surgery"? or "you don't look any smaller". Jealousy is prevalent at my work place too. I will find out in a few days. They may surprise me. I'm trying to be positive eventhough I feel lousy about all this. I promised myself that if I actually got to have this surgery I would not whine about anything. It barely looks like I've had it. The Real Meals (protein powder for you pre-ops) is still a huge struggle. I finally started using peanut butter in the mix which is great but the taste is still making me feel sick for an hour afterwards and I don't know why. They are so expensive so I probably won't purchace them again but I need to use what I have and benefit from the protein.The whole upcoming week is going to be around 70 so I will drink, drink, drink and each day I will walk. I will give this next several days a valliant effort and on May 11th, I hope to be a little happier with the results on the scale. NancyJo, (my angel) has already picked me up emotionally with her e-mails and hand crafted cards. She is relentless in her angel quest and that is just what I needed. Thank you NancyJo!

5-11-03 It is exactally 2 months since my surgery and so much has happened. I went back to work and have not as of yet recieved any negative feedback from co-workers so that is a plus. Before I go any further: MY ANGEL (NANCYJO) WAS APPROVED ON 5-8-03 AND I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel sooooo much better just knowing she will be having this surgery. Words don't describe how happy I am for her. Can't wait till the big day! I will keep everyone updated as her journey continues. Tonya Harris had her surgery last week and all went very well. I met her at the last support meeting locally and will help her any way I can. She has a little boy named Brandon so he alone will keep the pounds coming off her. My sisters scale says I have only lost 7 pounds this past month and God I hope they are wrong. I will do my video tonight and take my measurments. This is very slow for me and I try not complain but having never been small it is hard to play the "slow loser" game. I may stop by the surgeons office tomorrow and see if he has a scale yet. I have been very busy outside in the yard lately so may have built plenty muscle. That is both good and bad for the scale numbers. I will keep plugging away and make protein my priority. The powder protein remains a struggle as I haven't found any I can tolerate. The constipation is hardly a problem anymore but I need to get more water in. I did start B-12 sublingual this week and don't feel as tired. Also found calcium citrate at GNC and it was reasonably inexpensive. Glad to have started them both. Still take one to two Flinstones a day with my thyroid medicine. Life is back to hectic once again. My oldest son is now living in Los Vegas. I recieved some nice Mothers Day gifts from my daughter, my youngest son and his girlfriend. No day care this weekend so my hubby and I did a lot of shopping. The weather has been rainy all week so I spent a lot of time indoors but got a lot accomplished. I missed the Ohio support meeting in April but do want to catch the Wheeling one this week. I am finding I can tolerate most all foods but have not tried much meat, sugar and the only bread I eat is croutons, crackers and a tiny bit of toast. For breakfast I have been making oatmeal with generic equal and adding peanut butter and cocoa. It is filling and yummy. Eating out has not been a problem as long as I keep to the protein and within the proper portions. Occasionally I eat chips, then feel guilty. Just found out that hubby and I have to DJ a wedding July 26t. It's the same day as the OSSOHG WLS picnic so I was disappointed that I won't be able to attend. Suzanne is now 1 month post op and doing well. She invited me to join her to the picnic and would have been happy to go with her. I will update soon with more measurments. Thank you NancyJo for being the perfect angel.

6-11-03 Today is 3 months post for me and I finally got to find some digital scales at the hospital. 40 pounds and 44 inches off! Not bad for 12 weeks so I'm not gonna beat myself up over it. I see the surgeon tomorrow and will continue my quest for 100 something. Don't really have a number goal but have waited years to say I am under 200. Looks like this is gonna happen. My dear angel NancyJo had her surgery May 27th and all went well. Sad to say she was only home one week and ended up back in the hospital in ICU with an infection behind her spleen. Very scary stuff. Her hubby e-mailed me tonight saying she is better and may get into a regular room tomorrow. She will do great but has had some obstacles in her way this past week that are life threatening. I know her son must be very worried also. I attended a support group tonight and it was so nice to get to talk to Carole Marsilli. She looked good and I always learn something from her each time I talk to her. I always look forward to seeing her changes. Her daughter Stacy has done an amazing job at loosing and looks very happy. What an inspiration those two are. Stephanie H. took me upstairs to get weighed and I was thrilled for the opportunity. She is always a bundle of laughs and has lost a LOT of weight. Dr. G was the speaker tonight and I was so glad to attend. When the weather is nice, I keep working and don't stop long enough to go but I get so much from the meetings, I need to make it a priority more often. Can't wait for the Martins Ferry meeting on the 22nd. Smaller group and it offers me a chance to ask questions and connect with those wonderful people. Tomorrow I will do my monthly video and keep focused on the water and protein. My life has been enriched by so many great people both locally and afar by this experience, I hope I never forget what an important role they have played in my support. My oldest son is still living in Las Vegas and I can't wait to go there in September to see the look on his face. By then I will be 6 months post op and should be at least 60 pounds lighter. When he calls I don't mention my progress cuz I want to surprise him. He has never seen me under 230 and I am now 215. My loss is slower than most but I MUST change my attitude and do the best I can with this. The constipation rears it's ugly head from time to time so I need to keep up the water. Thanks to all of you that supported me when I whined about the slow loss. I will stop comparing myself to others and hope I can keep losing. Will post again in one month. By then I can report some fantastic news about NancyJo. She is the angel we all need. Thank you NancyJo! You're the best!

9-1-03 My how time flies when you're having fun (and losing)!!! I can't believe it's been so long since I last updated. It has been a wonderful summer and I'm sorry to see it ending so soon. For the first time in years I have been able to be home and enjoy my yard, spend lots of time with the kids and grandkids, go to some horse shows etc. We didn't D.J. much this summer and actually got to go out dancing a lot since we had the week-ends to ourselves. Boating, dancing, gardening and jogging has been my focus. I'm now finding out I can still drink but the amount I can consume is making me a cheap date. Lot's of Wineries e-mailed me about the sugar content in wine and it looks like good news since the sugar in dry wine is non existant. My angel Nancy is very busy these days and after some problems, she has passed me in the weight loss. I'm very happy for her. I have not taken the time to go to support groups this summer and won't until it gets cold out. Have stayed in contact with some of the local losers and very grateful to know them and learn from their experiences. As far as what I can tolerate- most anything except milk and sugar free pudding. As you all know, each day is different so I try to be careful. Getting all the water in is easy now and the constipation monster has left. My son processed the "day before surgery" pictures for me and BOY can I tell the difference! Each day looking in the mirrow, I can still see the same ol me but people tell me there is a big difference. I am still losing about 10 pounds a month which is slow but I will continue to keep plugging away as best I can. Next week will be 6 months for me and and I probably will have lost only about 60 pounds but I walk about 18 miles a week and jog 18 a week so hopefully the muscle accounts for some of the weight. I'm sure by now I have reached one of my goals (to weigh 199)and I'm between a 16 and 18 in clothes. Going to spend 2 weeks in Vegas this month and really wanted to be in a 16 by then. My next goal is to be in a 14 by December 4th for my husbands company Christmas party. Yesterday was their company picnic and I got plenty of compliments and it was a nice feeling. I don't ever remember going to a function like that and feeling good about myself so things are looking up and I know I could do better. I am able to tolerate "Carb-Wise" bars at Wallmart but not any of the other protein bars, drinks or powders. It's nice to actually be able to feel my muscles and bones for once. I have read some good books lately and joined a website- www.bookcrossing.com which allows me to set my books free and see where they end up. I have met some wonderful people this summer and had a blast so I'm hoping we will have a mild winter and I will be able to continue to walk/jog without injuries. Another goal is to be able to run a Marathon next year. I want at least 50 more pounds off before then so cross your fingers for me as I endulge in lots of water and the necessary vitamins. NancyJo has a goal of looking fabulous in October for her hubby's class reunion. NancyJo, I'm praying you will take their breath away! P.S. I'll update more often now that the summer is winding down. Carol M. Thanks for the support and for all that you have taught me!

9-28-03 Twice in the same month for updating! Looks like I'm getting better at this. Back from vacation now and starting to build my winter nest. May be changing jobs soon and returning to the Hotel business that I loved so much. Went to Vegas, Hoover Dam,The Grand Canyon and Red Rock Canyon. Great visit with my niece since she's the one we stayed with the whole time. I'm keeping my grandaughter with me at night and getting her off to school each morning. It reminds me so much of doing that when my kids were little. I haven't taken my measurments in a long time. Need to get with it. Have been tolerating most all foods but still being careful with the sugar content. Thrilled to be drinking wine again and having a blast with the vodka too! The weight is still creaping off but I can't complain. I weighed 195 on 9-9 and may be 190 by now. Most EVERYTHING is too big now. Not sure what to do with my fat clothes. I have 3 closets full and paid good money for them so I hate to just GIVE them away. I'll keep sorting them and hopefully soon I can find a clever way to get rid of them. Getting a lot more attention from men these days but I keep thinking "the jerks couldn't be bothered before, so why give em' the time of day". Still fighting the head hunger at night. Acknowledging that I'm still addicted to food is helping me make better choices but I'm back to smoking like a fein to fill in the time slots that I used to fill with eating. Just replacing one addiction with another. Haven't heard much from my angel lately but I know she is a very busy woman. Just so glad she got the opportunity to have this surgery. In October she will be going with hubby to his reunion and I'm can't wait to get a picture from her. She has been looking forward to this event for a long time. I'm in the process of trying to buy a house in Ohio right now and sometimes the anxiety of everything makes me want to resort to old habits and eat. Haven't been to a support meeting in a long time and can't wait to see some of my new friends. As winter rolls around, I'll slow down and get to visit with them. Going to see my surgeon next week and may update if there's anything to report. Carol, thanks for keeping me honest. NancyJo, I know you are with me in spirit.

WOW how time flies! So much has happened in these past few months. I'm now in a size 14 and could be smaller but keep eating the wrong things and not getting enough water in. I will keep trying harder. I ditched the lousy Casino job and went back to my first love, the Hotel business. I couldn't be happier but have not taken the time to get my exercise in since going back to Holiday Inn. I MUST get back to it. I would like to be in a 10 or 12 by the end of spring but need to get focused again. NancyJo, my angel is very busy and has lost a lot of weight. I can't wait to see a picture of her. Christmas is right around the corner and I don't think I'll be writing here till the new year. 2004 should have lots to offer and I can't wait to be here for it!

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