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~ 4eva-unique ~ Dallas, TX, USA Post Op - BMI: 27.8 Surgery Type: RNY Member ID: W1135580499 Web Site: http://www.picturetrail.com/4EVA-UNIQUE Surgeon: Wade Barker, M.D. |
Click here for ~ 4eva-unique's surgery support page Click here for the 02/2006 Reunion Page Click here to print ~ 4eva-unique's cards (You can print your own cards, and if you're good at it, you can help print cards for your friends as well!) Click here to view ~ 4EVA-UNIQUE’s friends. |
             I wish her much success in her weight loss journey!!The day didn't start off too good however!  A friend of mine was suppose to pick me up for my appointment. This was her suggestion and she calls me at 8:12 am to tell me she is running late. My appointment was at 8:20 and I live 20 mins away from the office! Anyway, she was not going to arrive until 9:00, so I drove myself. See you can't depend on other people. This is TOO important to me to just let someone jack it up for me! The moral of the story is....don't depend on anyone else to do jack for you.  You are responsible for the important things in your life. Ok....I'm off my  now.Now continuing on with my excitement!  I have to start my liquid diet next week so no more doing this  and can't do this either  . That's why I couldn't lose weight in the first place! It's time to get busy!!!! After while I'm going to look like this  and there is no stopping me!!!! Shopping will be my friend.   Well, I guess I'll end here. Please stay positive during this process. I look forward to being healthy and looking like a superstar!!      Well I can't sleep!!! So many thoughts are running through my head. You would think that my surgery is tomorrow or something. I haven't went shopping for anything. Well, I take that back...I bought the jello and boullion cubes for the broth. I am suppose to start my liquid diet on Wed. and one of my best friends said that I am going to be very cranky, so I need to do the shopping now. I need to keep busy next week so I am procrastinating and trying to wait until next week to do everything. I know that is bad, but like I said, I am trying to stay busy so I won't think about the 1st. I felt that I should write down my feelings so here I am. I'm scared to death! I'm scared of the unknown. I've read so many pages and read what they went through. I know God did not open all these doors just to turn away from me. I know the scripture states that God did not give us the spirit of fear. The enemy is busy and he had me thinking that I need to write my love ones and say my goodbye's THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!!! I HAVE THE VICTORY THROUGH CHRIST JESUS!!!!! I must remain positive throughout this whole process. You can not believe the feelings I am having. I am sitting here shaking as I type. I know that everything will be ok. God is watching over me and I am His child! I love this passage!!! I have to keep my focus on God. He knows the desires of my heart, so I can't let anything distract me!!!  I am praying for peace so I can get some rest. Ever since I found out my date for surgery I can not go to bed at night. I know  will protect me. I have no doubts what so ever!!!! And my  is watching over me.I went to church Friday night and the minister brought a very good message. The title was "Former is Dead." That means that the former things that I used to do, the bad influences, the bad decisions I made in the past, and people who have hurt me are in my past and they are dead and gone. I do not have to dwell on those things anymore. So they are dead and buried! I shouldn't hold on to the hurts anymore. All the negativity in my past is left there in my past. I was hurting real bad. I couldn't understand why people hurt me and did those terrible things to me. I also took the death of my father hard, and at one point I asked God why He didn't take me instead?! My father was my heart. However, I have to move on and start living the life that God has allowed me to have. The sting of his death is not as hard today but I miss him terribly. I know that my father would want me to take advantage of what God has blessed me with and start living. Stop closing myself off from the world. To stop letting life pass me by. So I must do this for my father. I didn't mean to get so deep this morning, but I had to let that out. I know my father would be proud that I made this decision and that I'm moving in the right direction. I have to be healthy and happy. Which I have not been in a very long time. My theme song is "THE BEST IS YET TO COME." Today is the first day of the best days of your life. Here are some words and maybe they will be encouraging to you."Hold on my brother don't give up, hold on my sister just look up. There is a master plan in store for you if you just make it through. God's gonna really blow your mind, He's gonna make it worth your time. For all of the troubles you've been through, the blessings double just for you. The best is yet to come!"I know all of this is not in vain. I am doing this for the right reason. I WANT TO LIVE!  While I was praying, something was brought to my rememberance. In  of  I was born on a  . And my rebirth will be on ,  of  . MY NEW LIFE WILL BEGIN!!!!! Well, I better end here. I didn't realize I had so much to say. Thank you so much for taking this journey with me. May God bless you and keep you. It is too late to try and get some sleep now. I have to get ready for church in less than 2 hours. Until next time...... 4EVA  Well, I acted up yesterday! I didn't even go to church like I was suppose to. I upset a very good friend of mine because she did NOT do what she said she was going to do. It did not give me the right to make her feel the way that I did.  I have to call and apologize to her for my behavior. However, I do NOT like when people tell me they are going to do something and then don't do it. Still, that is no license to make someone feel low.  Even though I am going through an emotional roller coaster, I shouldn't expect people to cater to me. Right now I am in a selfish phase and that is not a christian thing at all. I prayed before I went to sleep and asked the Lord to forgive me. Now, I have to right my wrong and apologize to her. I vented to another friend and now I feel better. We shouldn't burn our bridges with anyone. So she's probably thinking if I am a booger bear now, I probably will get worse when I get to my goal weight and the self-esteem rise. I vow to myself not to get that bad... All in all I am embarrassed by my behavior!  Well, as you can see the pattern is still here, I can't sleep at night. I am up in the wee hours of the morning. What is wrong with me? I am going to figure out how to spruce up my page because I think the people who do that must be extremely busy. I've been waiting for a while for it to get done. I used to know how to do this kind of stuff. See what happens when you don't keep up?  I asked the lady 2 times did I have to pay anything and she said, "Nope, you are free and clear!" You do not know how excited I am about that. My portion for the hospital bill would have been $1,300.00. So you tell me if God ain't good?!?!?!I feel like doing a happy dance all up and through here, so excuse me while I bust a move!!!  Anyway.....There are no hassles for getting admitted cuz you already did that with this appointment. Anyway, they took my blood and gave me the basic instructions. No eating or drinking after midnight before the surgery date. If you are on medication such as blood pressure medication, take it, but with only enough water to get the pill down. So no full glass of water, just enough to get your tongue wet, if that much! She remembered that I was on the liquid diet and asked how that was going. I actually had fun at this appointment. She calmed my fears on a lot of things. Trust me, I had all kinds of questions. Anyway, my blood pressure was slightly elevated but that is due to the fact that I'm just now taking the pills again and I got upset right before my appointment. So hopefully it will not be up on the morning of the surgery. However, with me being anxious I'm pretty sure it will be a little elevated, but I don't need it trippin'! Well, I better end here, and I will update later!  I found a lot of cute pictures to put on here. So I have a little variety on the page. The pictures of the girls roughly shows the style I like, so basically, once I get to my desired weight, trust I will be rockin' some of these things. I am still young, so I can look sexy yet classy! I saw some models that were something else. If I was still clubbing I probably would wear some of those things.  So maybe those are some outfits that I could wear when I get married, whenever that happens. I hope one day I will be writing that on here. However, I am not rushing anything like that. I have to get myself together before I can think such things. Ok, maybe I think about that now, but...I still have to get some things in order before I go down that road. My health comes first and then that. Just think, I will be the bomb when I do get married. Oh I WILL have it going on!!!! How did I get on this subject????I am so excited about the changes I will be going through. I am eager to see what the final result will be. As my aunt told me to say ....I will be sexxxxxxxxiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrr. Need to start talking positive now. Sexiness is a state of mind. If YOU do not think you are sexy then no one else will! Start looking at yourself in the mirror and compliment yourself. Regardless of how you feel. We need to stop abusing ourselves! Didn't mean to preach, so I guess I will end this right here. Until later     Talk about embarassing! This girl came in after I finished and was about to wash my hands.  Then this guy that I am madly in love with came up while I was walking out of the restroom. By the way he does not know I am in love with him.  This is our little secret ok?!?Let's see...in 2 days I will be getting ready to go to the hospital. To think this time has come. I was posting and someone else posted that in 3 days she will be having surgery. I'm like OMG it is here already.  I am ready for this to be over with. You read so many stories, and I'm ready to get on with it. I know each person is different and I will have my own experience. Side note, I wonder is anyone reading my page? Anyway, on with my story...here is a time for me to vent. The purpose of me going to the forums is to get support and advice. Why is it that when we pre-ops ask a question to the post-ops we hardly get a response? But they can respond to post that has nothing to do with WLS. What kind of crap is that? I thought the main reason was to help each other out! However, I did get one response from a "vetern" and I am so glad she responded. She was very helpful. I got a lot of pre-ops to answer. You would think the seasoned people would respond. This is ridiculous!!!! Anyway, I am grateful for the response I did get. It helped a great deal. How are you gonna have favorites on a WLS forum? Anyway, I digress.... I have to call the doctor's office to see if I am suppose to drink this protein with milk or do I have to switch to water. Fat Free milk takes some getting use to. I am enjoying the breakfast blend and the smoothie shockingly. I have to go to the store any buy more items. At this time I have:Designer's Whey ProteinChicken buillon cubesBeef bullion powderGeneric Crystal Lite (variety of flavors)SF Chocolate puddingSF Tapioca pudding (I don't like this now, but I know I need something)String CheeseGeneric Carnation Instant Breakfast (chocolate...taste like chocolate milk!)SF Jello that I have to make  I don't think so now that I think about it!!!Cream soupCrab Meat in a canPeanut ButterDiet Lipton Green Tea with citrus (which my cousin has stolen one! I can't believe this crap!!!!!)Things I'm going to have to purchase:SF Jello (pre-made)low sodium chicken broth in canlow sodium beef broth in canMilk for lactose intolerant (I hear this will come in handy after surgery) (I don't want to blow anyone away....)Juice (100%)Sonic IceEggsTunaIce trays to freeze soupYogurt (I don't like this on a good day) Cottage Cheese (another one I don't like) More ProteinSF Pops (they are kinda sweet to me now)A camera (bought the album but not the camera...crazy)So my day is full today, and I also have to clean up! I am suppose to get my hair braided Tuesday so I will be busy doing that. I have to keep my mind off of things. Procrastination is a bad thing. I'm down to the wire and have so much to do. This is sad!!!!Well, I guess I better end it right here....Smoochies         I've had it rough a little bit. I have one little nagging spot that hurts.  Dr. Barker did tell me that this spot would give me the most problems. I have 7 little incisions and the other 6 are doing so well. I am only sore in the main incision, under my left breast. I think my boob is too heavy and its sitting on that area.  What can I do about that? Not a darn thing but deal with it! I am out of pain medication so hopefully they'll give me something on Thursday. That is when I will get my staples out. Oh boy, I am looking forward to getting them out! Let's see, where do I start? On last Wed. I went to the hospital and you all know that I was extremely scared!  Well, I felt that I was walking the green mile when I walked down that hallway. Everyone was extremely nice. I walked to the back and did my strip tease, and they gave me this beautiful designer gown to wear. You know the one that has your bootie out. However, they did hook a sistah up and I wasn't flashing anybody! Well, because I did not have a chest xray, they took me and did one around 9:30am. I was very emotional! Vickie from Turning Point came to visit me, and to tell me everything will be alright, and that I was in good hands. That was nice of her. She gave me a big hug and told me that I was not alone. Some time past and my sister Elon came back there with me. Then mom showed up about 10am. I went to the bathroom one last time and we prayed together. I took pictures and as soon as I get them developed I will post them on my picture trail. Ok, now the journey begins....Why of all times, people are on time?!?!?!?! At 10:30 am on the dot they lady came and got me. The crocodile tears fell, trust, you will see that picture. My mom asked were they happy tears or what, and told my sister to take a picture. They were combination tears! I was rolled out and they walked behind me. I went one way and they went the other. We parked in the waiting area in Day Surgery. My back was to everything. It was freezing in there. I did manage to see them prepping the room my life was about to change in. Yes my nerves were on edge. Well, a few people came over to where I was and talked with me. Now the happy juice nurse came, and the tears fell again. She was like "Don't cry, wipe your eyes and blow your nose we do not want you to get stopped up. You are so cute, everything is going to be alright. I just have to tell you these things." I know, I know, I'm a big baby. I knew all the precautions, its just hearing it, its so final! Anyway, I signed the consent form and she went to the restroom. She came back and said are you ready? Then gave me the magic juice.  I was like is it suppose to work already? She laughed and said yes. I was very calm and floating ya'll.  Anyway, they wheeled me in the O.R. and told me to scoot on this NOT SO FLUFFY FRIENDLY SLAB they called a table. She told me to relax and put a mask on me. After awhile, I was out. I woke up coughing and calling out for my mom. I had a tube down my throat. They told me to cough one more time so they could remove it. Then I was out again. The happy juice nurse told me that would happen. I wake up and I'm in PCU. My back was killing me. I was but no tears were falling. My mom rubbed my back and prayed for me. I was extremely thirsty and they wouldn't give me nothing! Not even a little ice chip. I did not get anything until Thursday night. So if you are keeping track, I hadn't had anything to drink since Tuesday night. I even took my blood pressure pill with a dry mouth! Maria, my nurse (who by the way was very good to me) gave me a little wet sponge. I was so happy to get that little thing! Anyway, I never wanted water so bad in my life!!! I didn't walk that night but I did the next morning. It was ok. I thought it was going to be murderous, after reading all the horror stories on other pages. I didn't feel anything move or nothing like that. Maria, would give me these little thimbles full of water or juice. Ok maybe it was bigger than that, but it seem like it! They were ounce cups. She refuse to give me a cup. However, Stan my day nurse gave me a cup with ice in it. He said..."I'm going to turn around and IF you take a drink  I will not know." That was my first drink experience by the way. You would think I won the lottery or something. That was a very happy moment for me.Let me tell you about my embarrasing moment. I was sitting on the and sat there so long my feet went to sleep. I got up to go and almost fell. I had to catch myself. I was so scared!!! Anyway, while I was sitting there a friend of mine walked in and was like are you on the potty...I was like yep. She said I looked like a little girl sitting there swinging my feet. Can you imagine that? I'm 5'10" and I was swinging my feet on the potty. Anyway, my stay was wonderful except for the dry mouth! They moved me into a private room at 5:30am Fri morning and then Dr. Barker came in about 11:30 and told me I was free to go home. I couldn't enjoy that room. It was so pretty. Luckily, my other sister Kris was there and she brought me home. I did the fool and tried to take care of my bills before I got home. I was in the street after having major surgery 2 days prior. What is wrong with me?  And I wonder why I'm hurting this long!Fast forward....I am so sick of  broth!!!!! I AM READY TO EAT!!!! I have to admit something though....I have had some  chips. I started out good and sucked the flavor off of them and then I did it....I ate it. Don't be upset with me.  I'm trying to do better. I have tried the string cheese and it has gone down, so I can tolerate that. I know I wanted this surgery more than anything and I am ready to be skinny. I know I have to do what I got to do. However, I am not going to beat myself up over it either. I hardly eat or drink. I can drink things though. I've had protein drinks with Soy milk, peach tea, diet citrus green tea, breakfast drinks, and water. So I am doing ok. I guess I could drink more. I've started to get hungry now. I'm ready for some food with substance! Something that will fit on a  . I'm not craving sweets, but you know what I want? A pancake...I don't want syrup or anything on it. I just want a tiny pancake. I didn't even eat pancakes often before surgery! It was once and a blue moon. I also want some chinese food. I know I will not be able to eat much and what I want I am not able to eat it right now anyway. I think I'm just greedy...I don't know! When I eat the broth, I sip on half a cup full and I'm tired of it. I just want to get some shrimp from the chinese place. That will be my trip in a few months. I will get a to-go platter. Can you tell I'm hungry now?Anyway....I wanted to come and give you an update on my progress. I will let you know if I lost anything when I go to the doctor. I'll let you know how it went getting the staples removed. I have 13 of them. 3 incisions has 3 staples in them and then the other 4 have 1 staple in them. I hope it doesn't hurt getting them out. You all know I am a big baby, but don't tell nobody. Until later......SMOOCHIES !!!!!!! I went to the doctor and got my staples removed. I got on the scale and drumroll please... I've lost a whopping 25 lbs!!!!!!I told Dr. Barker about the pain in my left side. I can't lay on my left side and when I cough it has a burning sensation. He said "Well, you have to remember that you just had surgery, it will go way in about a week or two." Well, I have to live with it. I am trying to come down with something, but I rebuke it in the name of ! The  is a liar! I am claiming healing over my body right now in the name of A sweet young lady by the name of MiKysha is having surgery today. I've been calling to get the status of her sugery. Can't get through. If you are reading my page make sure you say a prayer for her. I posted on a couple of boards that she's having surgery and for people to show support. Several people posted to her page. I am so grateful for that! She is such a sweetheart and can sing. She is beautiful in and out! I WILL buy her material once she drops her album!I've been communicating with other people that had the surgery the same day I did. We are keeping in contact with one another. I am so glad of that as well. So here's my shout out to LaDonna and Toni. Keep up the good work ladies! I have to get my walking in. Trust me, I DID IT TODAY!!!! I walked all over SuperSaver today. My legs are hurting. I couldn't lean on the basket either, cuz of my incisions. So I had to do it like everybody else. Man, that was hard!!! I got through it though. Why in the world does our food cost so much?! My goodness... I thought I would get a break in my wallet. NO SIR RE BOB!!! Seems like everything you pick up is $3.00+ I am allowed to eat pureed foods now. THANK YA...THANK....THANK YA. A sistah is tired of broth! So, I have variety now. Let's see how good I do with this. If I can lose 25lbs in a week, how much will it be by the time I go to the doctor again? My next appointment is March 9, 2006 @ 10:20am. Bring it on!!! I am ready to drop these doggon' lbs!!!! One day I will join the protein train. Still thinking on that. I want to drop as much weight as quickly as possible. I'm tired of carrying all this fineness around! Untill later.....SMOOCHIES      A little extra   NOW WE BOTH SHOULD FEEL LIKE THIS : NO MORE PIGGING OUT FOR A WHILE!!!!Well, I guess I'll end right here for right now....  Also, I haven't been doing too hot in the food department. I feel nauseated when I try to eat or drink something. I think it was that Propel water. I will experiment and see what happens. I know our pouches are tempormental so I have to keep trying. Lastly, MiKysha had to go to the ER last night. So, there's some things going on in my life.I know I said that I was going to document my meals, but I'm not sure how I want to do it. Still learning this system. So, I will tell you what I had so far:SaturdayOatmeal with protein powder and cinnamon 2 Protein DrinksWaterSundayCarnation Instant Breakfast1/2 Propel waterChicken puree' soupProtein DrinkPintos & CheeseMondayCarnation Instant Breakfast1/2 Propel WaterSardines in Mustard SauceWaterFor the last couple of days, I've been feeling like I've wanted to  . I know that is a little graphic, but I'm being honest with ya. I have to fix this problem! I'm a little depressed right now. But I know God will fix everything and HE has everything under control. Even though I had those sardines about 12PM I'm still feeling full. I don't feel all that hot, but I'm trying to flush them out of my system. I'm drinking water like crazy. I'm still sleeping crazy! I don't know how to go to bed like normal people. So more than likely I will be up tonight cuz I took a good nap. Put my phone on meeting so I would not hear the ringer and I was out! I guess I will take some Tylenol and hopefully I will feel better. I haven't been walking like I should. I only did 5 mins today and my knee is hurting me. I'm in bad shape aren't I? Well, tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and I'm by myself as usual! Maybe that's whats wrong with me. I do not like this day to tell you the truth, but that's another story. I won't bore you with the details. One day I will have a valentine and they will show me how much they care about me, but not only on that day but throughout out the year. I'm usually in mourning, but I'm going to try and be in good spirits tomorrow. I bought something for my mom and she's in the hospital. You know she broke her arm last Valentine's Day, I don't think Feb. is her month. She gets sick around this time of year! Well, I guess I'll end it right here. You know if I think of something later, I will be back!!! SMOOCHIES.....  I tried to eat some BBQ Chicken. My pouch was not trying to have it. Maybe I didn't chew it enough. I know I'm suppose to be on soft foods, but I felt that if I chewed it and if it was soft enough it would be ok. Well, who pays me to think, nobody, and that's why I went through what I did! My mom is in good spirits. Don't know when she is getting out of the hospital, so that is still on my mind. Talk with MiKysha and she was being discharged from the hospital. She sounds so much better! I pray that she has continued success. I also talked with Tamikia and she's doing pretty good as well. I pray that she has continued success as well.Today has been depressing for me thusfar. I am not a fan of Valentine's Day at all! I've been trying to keep busy and not think, but since I am by myself that's all I can do. It can only get better right. My mate will eventually come into my life. I have to learn that patience thing. That is a bad word to me at this point. I have some patience but trust me it is wearing thin.Since, I do not have a physical Valentine. I'm making you my valentine. I hope that is alright with you. Well, you know you don't have a choice!      Deniese 4EVA Praise God my mom is at home now. I have had an emotional couple of days, but it had nothing to do with my health, therefore I am not going to go into it. However, I did try and eat meat from a hamburger and that did not work well with my pouch. It came back to haunt me 5 times. I will not do that for a while. I know that we are to test our pouch to see what it will tolerate but I think I will stick with what I know right now. I know I was suppose to write down what I've been eating, but to tell you the truth I haven't really eaten anything. I do not have an appetite at all. It was a day that I didn't eat anything. I know that is not right since we are suppose to eat, but if I am not feeling food, I will just do without it. Tuesday:WaterProtein DrinkTuna100 calorie Nabisco cookiesWednesday:Carnation Instant BreakfastWaterStrawberry drink (generic crystal lite)PopsiclesThursday:Carnation Instant BreakfastWaterStrawberry drinkSoupFriday:WaterDiet Citrus Green TeaHamburger meat from burger Tapioca PuddingSaturday:WaterSunday:Carnation Instant BreakfastShrimpWaterStrawberry DrinkThat was my week. You see I am not really eating anything. I do take my vitamins. I forget I had surgery and want to gulp my liquids and that does not work! I have a funny feeling down in my chest, so I have to remember to sip, sip, sip! I know I have to get better, and I will eventually. I need to get on a pattern or something. I should go back on liquids so I can drop some serious weight! I talk with Michael Williams from the site, and he was very insightful. I will keep in touch with him. He volunteered to help me out. He feels that I haven't let my pouch heal enough, and maybe that is why I am so nauseated. So maybe I will take his advice. Besides, if I can drop a substantial amount of weight before my 1 month post-op appt. that would be great. I wish we could drop weight like men!I finally tried Crystal lite and it was pretty good, however, it was kinda sweet. But you should have seen me, I was acting just like the commercial. Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake your bottle, shake your bottle. I also tried a seafood dressing and I don't like it all that much. I also tried a new recipe to get the protein down. I did 1/3 Designer's Whey, 1/3 cup Strawberry juice, 1/3 cup water, and some berries, and mixed in a blender. It was alright, however, I smelled the protein, and that is what turns my stomach. I want to lose weight so bad. I've been trying to get my sleep in as well. I force myself to sleep. I need to get a hobby or something that will make me tired! Do you have any ideas?I need to concentrate on a couple of things in my life. I know everything will work out when it is time! It's not about my timing, but God's timing! Keep me in your prayers.... Well, I guess I better end it here. Smoochies........  FEB. 24, 2006 @ 5:50AMHELLO ALL....Well, I have something to talk about this morning. I am home now, I went to the hospital Wed. morning. I felt I needed help since I tried to OD on Tuesday night. Nothing should get that bad that I would want to take myself out. I didn't see a counselor at the hospital because I live too far from them and I would have only talked to them once. I am going to go to my PCP today and hopefully he will give me something. I am in desperate need of medication. My hormones are totally out of wack!They did a GI test on me and it went down, however I was nauseous and they gave me a bucket just in case it was going to come back on me. It took too long to go down, so they did a scope on me yesterday. I did have a stricture and they opened it up a little bit. Hallelujah for Jesus, I was able to eat and it stayed down. The nurse did not want to discharge me until I was able to keep food down. What a sweetheart. My stay at the hospital was very pleasant. Very nice place. I felt like I was on vacation. I've never been to a place that had cable, internet, and a resort type room. It was lovely! All this in my room!!! For meals, you had to order it yourself as if you were in a hotel. They give you a menu and you call down and place your order and someone brings it to you in a tuxedo. I need to move out that way so I can go there when I need to go to the hospital. :-) When the time comes I wouldn't mind having my children there. Beautiful place.Now I have this funky rash on my right leg, from the thigh down to my ankle! A few bumps on my left arm where they tried to get an IV in. Oh let me tell you about that.... I was stuck 5 times....3 in my left arm and twice in my right arm. They also took blood from the right hand. My veins were collapsed because of the dehydration. I was severely dehydrated so they had to get fluids in me. They had to give me 3 bags worth. Now how do I feel? NUMB is a good word. I really need to get on those meds for real. I would like to give a shout out to the main message board. They were so supportive. I didn't let BAF know because they are not as supportive as I think they should be. However, this is my opinion. If you are not talking about junk then you get no response. I've posted quite of few times with minimal response. I thought the whole basis for the board was for support. But who pays me to think? So if I have a question or concern, I shall direct it to the main message board! My people....the only thing I can do is shake my head! I digress!!!!Well, I think I've wasted enough of your time this morning, I will end it here. Oh before I forget, I did check my weight on Wed. and I lost another 14 lbs. Smoochies........ MARCH 3, 2006 @ 9:26PMHELLO...HELLO...HELLOWell, I have been missing in action because I have been in the hospital. Yes I went in on last Friday due to a fever, depression, low potassium, and the ugly rash. I was discharged today. Now I am on depression medication and other things. Oh my goodness. I have been through some things. Do I regret it? No I do not!!! This is just a hurdle that I had to cross. I know that everything will be ok and I just have to keep my eyes on the prize. So far, I have lost 40 lbs. Well, that was as of last Wednesday so there is no telling how much I've lost thus far. I will find out when I go to the doctor on Tuesday. I am a little excited about that. I was hoping to have lost a little bit more, but beggers can't be choosy. If I hadn't gotten sick, I probably would have lost a little bit more. But how many people can say they've lost that amount so quickly? I am happy for that! This is not a race anyway. I didn't put it on quickly so I can't expect to take it off quickly either.Well, I better end here. I just wanted to let all of you know that I am doing better and I am home. Right now I feel like I exist. No feeling at all. I guess the depression medicine is working. I just don't care right about now. Trust it is nothing like it was, I am just chillin'. Thank you all for the prayers, and keep praying for me. Well, I'll talk to you later.... SMOOCHIES..... MARCH. 9, 2006 @ 4:05 PMHELLO ALL....Well, I went to the doctor on Tuesday and I received great news! I am officially 52 lbs smaller. I am so excited!!!!!! Anyway, I didn't get the scope done, and I feel so much better. I do not take the nausea medication because it makes me sick. Dr. Barker said it was as needed anyway. I am taking my Protonix so I do not develop another stricture. Make sure you get an acid blocker after surgery! I am finally able to eat without feeling bad. I am extremely happy about that. I am going to take a head shot and put it on my picture trail so you can see the 1 month and 1 week shot. I don't see much of a difference. Anyway, someone posted to my post on secret pals and said that I was beautiful inside and out. That made my day! That makes me feel good because when you hear so much negative stuff, things like that makes a great difference. Well, I will end here and I hope you are doing well. SMOOCHIES......... MARCH 18, 2006 @ 4:53PMHELLO ALL.......Well, I went to my PCP yesterday and guess what??? I lost another 10 lbs, so now my total is 62 lbs in 1 month and 2 weeks! So I am a little happy about that. Of course you know I want it to melt off as quick as possible. However, I have to keep in mind that I didn't get this weight overnight, so why would it come off like that?! I go see Dr. Barker on the 21st so I wonder how much will come off by then. Maybe I should get on a liquid diet until then. I want to lose as much weight as possible and quickly! I feel ok, nothing to write home about. My depression medicine was changed yesterday so maybe it will kick in and I will feel great. I've been through so much drama, and I am tired of it. I need someone special in my life. I'm tired of being single. You know anybody? LOL Other than the weightloss I don't have anything to report. I forgot to ask Dr. Barker how much weight he wants me to lose so I can have the surgery to remove my gall bladder. I'm tired of feeling nauseous! I just want this to be over with. Some days I can eat like a little piglet and other days I can't eat nothing. I try to drink as much water as I can. I've noticed that when I use a straw I can drink a lot of water. There has been a debate on whether we should use straws. My doctor didn't tell me I couldn't so I will use it to get my water in! When I try to drink water directly from the bottle it seems like it hurts in my chest, but when I use the straw, oooh baby I just love my water! LOL By the way, I think I'm getting shorter so I'm not 5'10.5 anymore I am officially 5'10". I lost a shoe size as well! I was wearing a 13WW, and now I am in a 12. It didn't even have a wide after the number. Of course it depends on how the shoe is made. Also I crossed my legs for the first time on Sunday. So I guess I had a couple of wow moments. Well, I will end here and I'll talk to you later! SMOOCHIES......... MARCH 21, 2006 @ 4:04 PMHELLO ALL...........First, I would like to thank all of my wonderful angels out there that has been praying for me. Earlene told me that a young lady asked about me and that she's been praying for me. Thank you sweetheart. That made me feel good that there are some people out there that care about me and they don't even know me. Please don't worry about me, I will be ok. After losing your best friend "food" and your body goes into shock from surgery, you go through some things. I suffered with depression long before this surgery. I should have been on medication but I didn't want to be dependant on it. That was a stupid decision. I know better now. I didn't know that it would have affected me like that, the lack of food. When you go through problems you eat, when you are happy, sad, lonely, excited....you eat. You don't have that luxury after surgery. You have to face your problems head on. By all means if you have 'poison' in your life, get rid of it! You can NOT make anybody want you. You can't make people like you, and you can't make people love you. People are not in our lives forever anyway. When its their time to exit your life, let them!!!! That is my advice to you. I didn't mean to go there on this entry, but that was on my heart.I went to my doctors appointment this morning and there is nothing to report on the weightloss. However, I do need to eat more. Our bodies go into starvation mode and try to hold on to everything when we do not treat it right. I just knew I would lose at least a couple of pounds since going to the other doctor's appointment. I know that I am losing inches though. My clothes fit differently! They made me feel so good in the office today complimenting me. I was just blushing! I took pictures of Dr. Barker and Earlene, so as soon as I finish the roll of film I will get it developed. Dr. Barker is a cutie and so is Earlene. She is such a sweetheart!I am going to get on a fruit kick. I want to be a member of the centry club by my 3rd month. At 62 lbs already I only have 38 to go so hopefully I can do it! I have an appointment to go back on the 9th of May so wish me luck! I will try and do it next month but that maybe asking too much. If I can keep bad foods out of my mouth I should be ok. I went and got some deli meat today and some grapes and strawberries. I do not weigh myself at home. I wait until I go to the doctor, so you know there will be a big gap in the chart at the bottom. I don't care though just as long as I'm losing weight. I would love to lose this weight quickly but I have to work at it. I must start walking. I have to get out this lazy mode. This is my life we are talking about. I thank God, for allowing me this opportunity. He has been so good to me. I was seriously tripping last month! I do not want to go through that again. I am taking my meds faithfully. My body is trying to get use to the new med that I'm taking. I do not want to turn the bed a loose in the morning. I know that it will level out soon! I will end here. SMOOCHIES.......... MARCH 25, 2006 @ 10:37PMHELLO ALL.....I have nothing to report. I just wanted to say hello and that I posted 2 pictures on my picture trail. I was playing with my camera phone and felt a little cute. I hope you enjoy them. I finally took all the pictures on my camera so those should be up soon. Well, I will talk to you later.......SMOOCHIES APRIL 1, 2006 @ 1:30PMHELLO ALL....Well today is my 2 month anniversary. I do not know how much weight I've lost cuz I only weigh myself when I go to the doctor. I am not scheduled to go to the doctor until May. That is a long time, so I will probably go somewhere and get on the scale. I am dying to know if I've lost anything. I keep getting compliments but I don't see nothing. I sleep in reinforcements now, trying to get all of this under control! I've noticed that I'm not losing the way I want to in the stomach area. One side looks different, I wonder if that's normal? Anyway, I know that all will work out. My leg is giving me problems so I need to make a doctors appointment and get that checked on. I hope when I got steroids in the hospital for the rash it didn't make something grow in my leg. That's why I couldn't get cortisone shots cuz if their were residual tumor in my knee or thigh it could make it grow and another surgery would be needed. I am hopping a little too much now. I've lost over 60 lbs therefore it should feel much better!I need to take more protein. I'm trying to get it all in my food and that is not working! I need to purchase that apple melon drink that I was able to tolerate. I just can't see coming off that type of money. However, it has to be done since I can't eat 50 grams of protein a day. I do not want to lose my hair or lose muscle. I wonder if that is a possibility with the leg. I don't know. Best thing to do is go to the doctor. I don't mind going now. I used to be afraid to go to the doctor. Anyway, I really didn't have anything to report, I was just acknowledging the fact that today makes 2 months that I decided to change my life. I am going to learn how to link pages from mine. I have 2 people that I keep in regular contact with and I want you to chart their progress as well. I will try and convince them to chart their progress. These pages are a pitiful sight. They haven't done anything to them! I am going to talk about them so bad! Anyway, I am so excited that I get to meet Mikysha and her lovely family this month. I'm really looking forward to that. Here is Tamikia's page:http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/members/profile.php?N=H1131812573Here's Mikysha's page:http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/members/profile.php?N=R1083703745By the way, I added pictures on my picture trail. I guess I should get my sister to take a picture of me tomorrow for my anniversary. You can see how cute my surgeon is also. He is very easy on the eyes. I look forward to going to the doctor. lolWell, I will end here cuz if I don't I will keep rambling on and on and on. See what I'm saying....lol SMOOCHIES I stepped on the scale today and I only lost 5 lbs. That is such a downer. At least I lost that though! Well, if I stop eating the wrong things then I would lose more. I know I am losing inches. People are commenting on the changes but 5 lbs shouldn't look so different should it? Anyway, I am grateful for the loss in weight. By the way, I changed my name to just 4eva-unique. SMOOCHIES APRIL 10, 2006 @ 5:24 PMHELLO EVERYONE......How about I am totally disgusted today. I've only lost 4 pounds in 10 days. I am losing inches and you can really tell, but the scale is not moving the way that I want it to! I know this is not a race, but I want to lose 100 lbs by my 3 month anniversary. I have 29 more lbs to go. I guess I have to get on a liquid diet or something. I am not eating as it is. Dr. Barker did tell me to trick my mind, and that my body is in starvation mode. It is holding on because I am not feeding it. I don't feel like eating though and when I do, I am eating the wrong things. I know....shame on me! I must say that I am not trying sweets or anything like that. However, I will pop a peppermint in my mouth real quick. I do not like a dry mouth or stank breathe!!!! So a sistah got to keep it fresh! Well, I still haven't heard from 3 people who claim to be my so call friends. In this life you must let people go and I have done that. They are gone! I am confused about it but I'm not going to worry about it. I have a couple of people who claim they are interested in me. Do I believe them NO... My thinking is what do they want from me!?! Time will tell. Now, what do I see when I look in the mirror? The same me. I do not see a change, however it is nice to hear that I'm looking different. I saw a friend today and she wanted to know what I've been doing to lose weight. I hadn't told her that I had the surgery until today. I wanted it to be a surprise when she saw me. She heard that I lost weight, but nothing prepared her for what she saw. It feels good to see people look at you with their mouth open, and to hear, girl you look good! I am not doing what I suppose to either. I am not getting in enough protein because I can't stomach it, and I'm not taking my vitamins. I don't know if my body is rebelling because I had to pick up the cane for the past week. The weather has been up and down, but more up than down. It feels bad, I need to get an MRI done. I hope when I got those steroid shots in the hospital it didn't trigger something in my leg. I have to wrap it up and walk with a cane. I am in serious pain. Also, I am not getting in all of my liquids either. I am batting a 1000 aren't I?Well, I guess I will crawl into my little corner with my little 4 lb weightloss. Please take my advice: Take your vitamins and make sure you get your protein in. OH..I am suppose to meet MiKysha and her family tomorrow morning. I am really looking forward to seeing her face to face. I wish she could go to a support meeting but they have to be moving on. She is such a sweetheart and I really enjoy talking to her. I pray that this will be a lasting friendship. Her husband is a trip as well! I love talking to him too. They are good people, and I love their accents. (smile) I hope she put something on that page of hers so you can see how warm she is!Again, make sure you do what the doctor tells you to do. Don't do what I do, be better than me! Well, gotta go now.... SMOOCHIES. APRIL 11, 2006 @ 6:20 PMHELLO ALL.....Well, I met Mikysha and her beautiful family today. I wish I had more time to spend with them, I really enjoyed them. I really want a family of my own now!!!! Anyway, my time will come, I just have to be patient. You know that is something that I don't have that much of. I really hope we get to spend time together in the future. I'm gonna have to go to their town one day. I have a picture of her and her hubby on my picture trail. For some reason the other pictures will not download. I guess they are too big. Anyway, I just wanted to drop in and let you know that I met my extended family today. They are so sweet and beautiful, even down to the baby! Well, I am out, and I will talk to you later......SMOOCHIES APRIL 13, 2006 @ 5:09 PMHELLO EVERYBODY.....I have to type everything that I just typed again. I accidently pushed a button and everything is gone. Let's see if I can have the same enthusiam I had a few mins ago.........I went to a support meeting on Tuesday for Dr. Barker and I'm going to one tonight for Turning Point. I hope to learn a few more things tonight.I started taking my vitamins and also adding a little protein in. I feel a little better, however my leg is still bothering me. I can't get any walking done due to the leg. However, my mom has me walking all over stores so I guess I am getting in a little exercise. I lost another 3 lbs so I'm happy about that. I guess this stuff really works......lolI have had an extremely good day, I found out that I can wear a size 30 jeans and they didn't have an elastic waist. Now let me tell you why I'm so happy.....I haven't worn jeans in 14 years! So I went from a size 38/40 to a size 30. I have a suit that is a 38 that I'm going to have to pin to wear for Easter, it is a bad suit, but anyway, it was tight and I hadn't worn it for 2 years. I can tell the inches are coming off, I was just discouraged about the numbers not moving. Now, it really doesn't matter, I just want the weight gone. Do you feel me!?!Hopefully, I can weigh in tonight. I don't really trust the scale we have here, and if those numbers are higher than the one here, I will be crushed. Anyway, I have to admit..... My name is 4 EVA and I have an addiction to the scale. Once I found out that my mom's scale can hold my big butt, I've been on it! The scale is not your friend. If it doesn't say what you want it to say it can affect your mood. So if I were you, I wouldn't get on it all the time. I was bombed because I had only lost 4 lbs in 10 days. However inches were coming off. I was able to get in a dress that I hadn't been able to wear. My mom told me to get rid of all my big clothes. I don't have any new clothes. All my clothes are big. So I tried on a 3X top and guess what, I could wear it. I am so happy. I still feel comfortable in my 4X though. I still have that mentality of trying to hide some things. My mom says I need to get out of that. Anyway, if you are reading this and you have some clothes that you can give to a sistah, I would greatly appreciate it!Well, I think I will end it here. I will end on a high note. My numbers went down on the scale and I was able to get into some clothes that I didn't think this day would come! YEAH!!!!!Oh, I will not udate my chart because I'm running out of room. So I will only do that once a month. So I will talk about the weightloss on the entries. Love you all.......SMOOCHIES APRIL 16, 2006 @ 9:24 PMHAPPY EASTER........Well, I decided to try and add some pictures on here to update on my diva look...lol I hope I do this right. I wore the suit that I talked about earlier and yes I had to pin it. What a shame...but am I complaining? HECK NO!!!!!!!!! I get called Diva all the time, so tell me if you think I look like one:  I took a picture with my mother as well today so here it is. Do I look like her?:  This is my sister Loni. She has been by my side. Remember, I wrote a letter to her before my surgery. Well, I wrote another one that has disappeared. Her and the guy that I talked about don't even call me, but that is another story and I don't want to relive the confusing situation. Anyway, her is Loni: I took those pictures with my camera phone. I hope you liked them. I finally see a little weight loss. It is hard when you have on light colors to see weightloss, but I actually do. That suit I had on used to be tight and restricting! I am so glad that it was extremely loose. It is a hot mess that I had to pin it to my slip though.I really don't have anything to talk about. I have not stepped on the scale and I am so proud of myself. Today, I really didn't want to eat meat, and all I wanted to do in the past was eat meat. All I want now is fruit, but I was told that I can gain weight eating it. I can eat a lot of fruit, but I can't eat that much food. I think I shrunk some more. I don't think I am 5'10 anymore. What is happening to me? lol The incredible shrinking woman.Well, I guess I will end it right here. I pray that you had a beautiful Easter and the rest of your evening will go well. SMOOCHIES APRIL 22, 2006 @ 2:45 PMHELLO EVERYONE...........I'm so excited today, I just weighed in and I'm down 80 lbs total. Oh my goodness....I have 20 more pounds before I become a member of the century club! I didn't make it for my 3 month rebirth but that's ok, I will get there! Then again, I know that the scale here is off 2lbs so that's even better that would make it 18 pounds to go...am I stretching it or what...lolI don't have anything to report. I'm trying to get in as much protein as possible. I do not want my body eating itself! I have to space out my medication because my insurance doesn't kick in until May 1 and I need meds real bad. I hope I don't mess up anything.I tried to drink a diet soda and that didn't work. I shook it up and let it sit out without the top and it still had fizz. I even put water in it and froze it. Still didn't feel right. So I guess the soda's are out. That is all good cuz I really don't miss it. I miss being able to eat! I will have something I really want and only able to eat a few bites. I'm not complaining though, cuz how else would I have been able to lose 80+ lbs? It is moving so slowly though. I wish it would just fall off. I have a long way to go. I have set these little goals for myself and I didn't accomplish this 3 month goal so that is a little disappointing. However, I have to keep things in perspective, I'm losing weight period! I want to be a certain size by my birthday. I want to be at least in a 26/28. I have 2 more months. I am squeezing in a 30 now, it depends on how its made. To get the comfort I like, I am sticking with the 4x. I guess that is good though, to come from a 6x to a 3x in less than 3 months. I can actually get in some 3x things.I want to post this so I will always have it:PROTEIN TRAIN DIET:You CAN NOT have:Bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, flour, beansCookies, Cakes, PiesFruit nor fruit juicesNutsMore than one (1) green, leafy vegetable per dayYou CAN have (please read the labels because some meats have carbs, e.g., turkey bacon, chicken franks, some deli meats):MeatsCheeseEggsJerkyOne (1) green, leafy vegetable per DAY. Note: Broccoli is not a green, leafy vegetable.As much water (or other SF, Decaf, Non-Caloric, Non-Carbonated beverage)No bending rules!!!!PLATEAU BUSTER:#1 - Do this for 10 days to break a plateau #2 - Drink 2 quarts of water a day #3 - You must have 45 grams of protein supplement and all your vitamins/minerals supplements each day #4 - You may consume up to 3 oz of the following high protein foods, 5x a day beef pork chicken turkey lamb fish eggs low fat cheese cottage cheese plain yogurt or artificially sweetened (?) peanut butter beans/legumes You may also have: sugar free Popsicles tea or coffee sugar free soda sugar free jello broths/bullion (sp?) crystal light drinks #5 - If it's not on the list, you can't have it for 10 days!!!! #6 - Keep a food diary and try to get up to 30 mins of exercise dailyWell I guess I've talked long enough. I took a picture with my sister's camera phone but for some reason we can't get it to forward to my cell or an email address. I will try and take a picture tomorrow and post it. I never was one to take pictures but since I'm losing weight, I can't stay away from the camera. Someone told me that would happen. I just didn't think it would happen so soon. I'm still fluffy! Talk to you later....SMOOCHIESBTW my BMI went down to 53.1 and here is my ticker tracker. I think I'm going to start doing it like this.  APRIL 24, 2006 @ 2:36 PMHELLO EVERYONE.....I just stepped on the scale and I've lost an additional 5 lbs, so therefore I've lost a total of 85 lbs. I am so happy. I have 6 more days to try and squeeze 15 lbs off me. I know that is not going to happen but a girl can dream can't she? LOL I'm so happy. I stepped on and off that scale 2 times to make sure it said the right numbers. I think it is off 2 lbs so you never know, I only have to lose 13 lbs by the 1st. I might not get in the century club in 3 months but I'm fighting real hard to get there! I think I'm way ahead of the game. I am really loving this tool!!!! Wish me luck. I will let you know how it goes in a few days. Also, I'm trying to hurry up and get out of the 50's with my BMI. It is slowing moving down. I put those jeans on again and danced around my room to the song on my profile. I thought I was super sexy. You couldn't tell me nothing. I guess I need to take a picture in the jeans huh? I will do that Friday. I will have my sister take it for me, then I will post it. I haven't even told her that I can wear jeans, she will be totally shocked to see me in some. Maybe I need to start wearing clothes that show my weightloss, I am still flossing the bigger clothes, why, cuz a sister does not have the money to go and get new stuff! I will break through in some new stuff later. AGAIN, IF YOU HAVE SOME CLOTHES THAT YOU WANT TO DONATE TO ME I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE THEM. Well, I guess I will end here for now. If I think of something else, you know I will be back! SMOOCHIES       Oh I went to the doctor and he wants to do a sonogram on my right leg. It stays swollen and it has nothing to do with surgery so don’t think you will have problems like that. I had a tumor removed back in 2004 and it never went down. I thought after losing 85 lbs, I would be on top of the world and I wouldn’t hurt the way I do, but it seems as if its gotten worse! Also, I had a knot on my left arm right above where the IV was, and Dr. Ukoha wants to do a sonogram on it, but it is going down. I am so glad of that because it was seriously hurting.As you can see, I added my voice to my page. I saw this on another members page and I just had to have it! I did send her a thank you email. I hope she doesn’t get mad that I did that. LI ate like a piglet yesterday. We had a fish fry and we had fish, BBQ wings, salad, corn on the cob, fries, and tater tots. I ate fish, 2 little wings, salad, and an ear of corn. I was eating. I have fluid on me as well. I was given medication for it, hopefully it will work!Speaking of medication, I walked out of the doctors office with 4 prescriptions plus the one I left the hospital with. Guess what, my insurance does not want to pay for my Protonix, so I have to find another alternative for it. They paid for it this time but they will not do it anymore. That is crap!!!! Anyway, I developed a rash in the area of where they IV was, where they took blood, and in my precious little area. So I have cream for that. The cream is working fast for my arms but my little precious area is taking its time! Plus I wear a girdle so it irritates it as well. Not a good feeling and you are probably saying TMI, but if you look at it, it is not TMI because it is part of my WLS complications. I hope I am not one of those people that will get rashes from the extra skin, cuz this crap is for the birds. I’m also very sensitive everywhere on my body. I keep powder on, I don’t believe in the ’big girl funk’. She also has her own deodorant, so I am NOT trying to hear that someone smelled ~4EVA~ LOL. So you know I’m miserable because I can’t fix her up like I want to! Now that is probably TMI..LOLWell, I don’t know what else to talk about. I said I didn’t have much to say, but that was a lie wasn’t it? By the way, I hope you did not laugh at my country voice. I am so tired of hearing that I am country! I don’t hear it….I may be southern but I am not country. Actually, I don’t have a deep southern drawl, I have a sexy voice in my opinion! Well, at least that’s what I’m told.Oh yeah, I forgot something. I have written a page worth of stuff already…. Anyway, I finally came clean to some family about my weight loss. They kept saying, you’ve lost some weight and I would say….just a little. They were like no you’ve lost a lot. I always wear big clothes so you can’t really tell. Well, yesterday I had on something tailored to fit my body and you could tell. It felt good to hear the compliments. Someone told me yesterday, “if you don’t think highly of yourself how can you expect someone else to? You have to think you look good and don’t worry about what others think!” Well, I know that I’m attractive and I‘m not ugly by a long shot, but now I have to get in my head that I am beautiful, no matter what other people think! Also, I was given a compliment on my looks as far as age is concerned. They thought I was younger than what I really am. You know I was cheesing on that one! Well, in a month and some days I will be 35 yrs old. As time goes by, I see that I look younger. Weight packs on years. So just think how old I will look after the weight comes off!Oh let me tell you about the clothes I got. No I didn’t go shopping they were given to me. I do not want to go shopping until I get down to my goal weight. I have so many sizes already. Anyway, my mom was on vacation and she brought some clothes back from my aunt who recently had the surgery and she’s lost a lot already. Anyway, I am in a 3X ya’ll. Yes, my big butt can get in a 3X. I can get in some 26/28 depending on how it’s made. I like a little room in my clothes because I try to hide things. So I am sticking with my 4X which is technically too big, but I have to wear something. The clothes my mom came back with are 26/28’s mostly, so I am in between sizes right now. It feels so good to be going down instead of up! I have to convince my mom not to throw away clothes in her closet that are too big for her cuz I can get down to them. That is a struggle cuz she wants to throw things away all the time. A sistah needs clothes!!!! I have clothing sizes covered until I get to a size 20. Then I have to go to ‘Neiman Marcus’, which is the thrift store. I have no problems going there so I am going to have fun going! I have to go to one that has a dressing room cuz I don’t want to buy the wrong size clothes. You can find some good bargains there. Well enough of that. I will truly end it right here! Will talk to you later…..SMOOCHIES         NOVEMBER 3, 2006HELLO ALL..........I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!! I HAVE OFFICIALLY LOST 200 LBS!!!!!!! My current weight is 250 lbs. Since my last entry I have lost a total of 27 lbs. I am so excited. I am in a 20/22 depending on how its made. I tried on bras and oh my goodness I am in a D cup. I have went from 54DDD to a 40D. What a jump!!!!!! This surgery is something else. I have my ups and downs, but I'm still here. Some days I can eat real good and then there are times when I don't want anything. Well, I wanted to update, I'm actually in a hurry. I will talk to you later...SMOOCHIES.....DECEMBER 20, 2006HELLO ALL........YES IT'S BEEN A WHILE!!!! Guess what....I'M MARRIED NOW!!!! It is officially 1 week and 1 day today! He is a wonderful man, so caring and he spoils the heck out of me!As far as the weightloss.... well it is pretty stable now. I fluctuate between 240 and 245, how depressing...however I am not even close to where I used to be! I will post a picture of me on my wedding night after my post. I am wearing 18's and 20's depending on how they are made. I wish I could get out of the 20's period. I have a lot of loose skin! If I was able to get that removed I'm pretty sure I would lose about 20 lbs. ok maybe not that much but you never know! I look at my body and wonder how it would be without all the excess. You probably wouldn't be able to tell me nothing...lol At my 'celebration' I was brave enough to wear some tight pants. Oh they were so tight that I had to lay down on the bed and he helped me button and zip them. lol They were the stretch type pants, the one's that look like someone poured you in them. Everyone said I looked good!!!! I had a booty in them as well!!!! Maybe I need to find more pants like that. I took a picture however, I haven't gotten them developed. I hope I don't look like a stuffed frog on that picture. I've noticed that I have a big face with a little body, what is up with that....lol If only I could get rid of this stomach I would be the bomb...lol I had my MRI done for my leg but I will not get the results until the 29th. That is a long time to wait, but I pray that all is going well with it. I was determined to walk down the aisle without a cane and I did it! I also pray that my weightloss start back up. I really wanted to be out of the 200's but it is not looking good right now. However, 210 lbs is nothing to sneeze at! I've done pretty good in 10 months and 2 weeks! Well, I will get out of here and hopefully all is well with you. Keep me in your prayers......SMOOCHIES      This is how I look with hair. You know I am a hair queen!!! lol Talk to you later!!!! SMOOCHIESFEBRUARY 1, 2007HELLO EVERYONE.....Today is my one year surgiversay!!!!! I am still holding in at 235. A total of 215 lbs lost. I am so excited. I got a car today!!!! I am doing it aren't I???!!!!! I had gotten down to 232 but I don't know what happened. I think it is that time but it hasn't shown up like it's suppose to. The water weight gain is there though.I posted on BAF about my accomplishments. I haven't been on the board for quite some time. People don't know me on there. I am going to try and visit often. You know how that goes. I wanted to post something since it was my anniversary. I didn't want this day to go by without saying something to you guys. Keep me in your prayers because I want to lose another 58 lbs and the pounds are coming off slowly. I will keep the faith. God did not bring me this far for nothing. I am satisfied where I am, but I would love to see what I look like skinny...lol SMOOCHIES...JUNE 04, 2007HELLO ALL......I feel so bad, I haven't updated since my 1 yr date! This is so sad..please accept my apology. Well, to be honest with you, there is nothing to report. I am slowly losing weight. However, I have found out that if I eat like a little piglet, I lose weight! I had to change my little children's vitamin, so I will see how that works out. I am kinda tired. I am going to up my iron intake and see if that works. I took an MRI last Friday on my knee. I have a tumor still in there and I'm hoping that the knot that I feel on the back of my knee is not a growth. Don't you know I am so tired of being cut on! I know all of this will work out for the good. I had tumors removed from my uterus in April. I bet you're shaking your head right about now. None of this is related to the surgery so don't get scared...lol.Well, that is about it. I really need to do something with this page cuz it has too many little X's on it. I don't like that and I can't convert it for some reason! I don't have my music or my voice, that is a hot mess! Oh yeah, people keep telling me I need to stop losing weight! What kind of crap is that!!!! I want to at least be in onederland... I need to lose 16 pounds to get there, but I would love to lose 20 to save face...hehehe. Although I would love to be at a goal weight of 177. I don't know if that will happen. Let me tell you something funny. I was in the bathroom trying to weigh my stomach sitting on the toilet and my husband walked in. Anyway, this bad boy I'm carrying around weighs 10 pounds!!!! I would love to get rid of my excess skin!!! My husband said that if I would get rid of the excess skin I would probably weigh around 190. Do I have any volunteers to send in a donation for my surgery????? Let's not talk about the non existent boobs. I was bending down and saw the hot mess that used to be my breasts and I wanted to cry! Tried on a C cup bra and it only filled it up cuz of the skin. So to be honest with you I don't know what size my boobs are. I have DDD cups, D cups, and C's. They all fit! It depends on the company that makes the bra. Oh I got my wedding ring sized and it is a 6! My ring size has went down from an 11 to a 6 people!!!! I personally think it should have been a little looser but the jeweler said it would twist if I did that. As far as my shoe size, it has come from a 13W to an 11 W or a reg 12, depending on the shoe. So I still have some boats! I am in a 16W or a reg 18. So I have come from a 40W to a 16W. I feel so blessed!!!!Well, that is my update. I hope you have enjoyed it. Talk with you later!!!! SMOOCHIES.......JUNE 30, 2007HELLO ALL.........Well at least I was able to get in a post before the month was out. LOL... Anyway, I have been doing alright. The results are in on my MRI. The tumor is still there and it is in my tissue. So the only way to get this tumor out of my body is to cut my leg off. THAT IS NOT AN OPTION! They are going to watch me over the next 3 months and see what happens. If it grows I will have to have surgery. The cortisone shot does not work so there is no need to get it.On a happier note.... I have started walking for a form of exercise and I can walk 2 miles!!!! Can you believe it? I couldn't! I had to hold on to my husband at the end of the journey but I did it! So now I have to get stronger and work toward that 3 miles he wants me to walk.Has anyone been through this.....I went down to 207 lbs and now I am back up to 215. At certain times of the month when my body is preparing to do the "woman" thing I gain weight 3 weeks in advance. Once I'm off, I go down and stay there for a week. What is that all about???????Now, I am not getting a sensation of being full. I can't eat that much but I get hungry quick. I don't know what that is about either.Well, all is well with me and I am just adjusting to the new me. I will check back and hopefully update my page. SMOOCHIES.....AUGUST 30, 2007WOW, I haven't posted anything in a while. I'M IN ONEDERLAND!!!!!Here is the post I did on the board:Hello everyone,I must apologize for not being on board for a long time! I have finally stepped into onederland!!!! I weigh 198 lbs! I've lost a total of 252 lbs as of 8/27/07. I tried on some capri's and they were a size 14!!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!! Me in a size 14, never would have imagined!!! Actually, I tried on some stretch 14's and they fit so then I got a little courage and tried on a pair that was a regular 14 and oh my goodness they worked. You know I bought them, and they were on sale. $5!!!!!I was just released from the hospital today. My B12 level is 181 and it suppose to be between 950 and 1500, so you know I was extremely tired! I am on top of that now. Please take ALL your meds.I would love to lose a little bit more so I can gain weight and not tip over into the 200 mark during that special time. Ladies you know what I'm talking about.Well, I'm out of here....talk to you all later.4EVAAccording to the chart, I am moderately overweight. I am no longer obese.That is all I can say right about now...so smoochies.NOVEMBER 24, 2007HELLO ALL......I see that I haven't posted in a while. I am really slipping. I'm doing ok. I will be having surgery on November 30th to remove the tumor in my right knee. I am so tired of going through this. However, I am doing what I got to do.I went to school for tax preparation and I'm certified now. So I am able to start work in January. I have to really work at walking before January. This is going to be a good year. I am approaching my 1 yr anniversary and I praise God for the wonderful husband that I have. He has really been there for me! As far as the weight....My lowest weight has been 194. I am really working toward my personal goal. However, my PCP does not want me to lose anymore weight. What does he know...lolSMOOCHIESFEB 28, 2008HELLO ALL.......Its been like forever since I've logged on!!! I have a computer at home now so I should be on here more often. I really need to upload photos don't I? lolWell, I've made it 2 yrs and doing well. My lowest weight has been 189. I'm bloated right now so I am not going to tell you how much I weigh right now lol. I'm enjoying life just hate the appearance of my body. I LOOK LIKE A DEFLATED BALLOON!!!!!! I really want to get work done, but if I don't oh well.I can wear a 12 but I prefer a 14... old habits die hard! I love my comfort. You know during that time of "bloat" you really want to be comfortable. I guess I will take some pictures and put them on here. I really miss all of you!!!SMOOCHIESMARCH 29, 2008HELLO ALL.......I am on top of the world!!!! I filmed a commercial today for Dr. Barker!!! I can't wait to see it. My husband is calling me "SUPERSTAR", how funny. Everyone will see my success! They are suppose to email me the commercial. Hopefully, I will be able to link it to the site. WoooHooo....SMOOCHIESAPRIL 22, 2008HELLO ALL....I am updating my page. I finally saw a rough draft of my commercial and I can't believe it is me! Anyway.... I'm suppose to have surgery on Friday to remove the tumor from my right leg. I pray that we go through with it this time. I'm tired of this thing in me! I found the Mary J video and decided to put it on my page. I feel like you have to take me as I am. If you can't deal with it oh well!!!! Can you feel me? I've come along way and I'm proud of myself. I would do it all over again!SMOOCHIESSEPT 5, 2008HELLO ALL.........I CAN'T BELIEVE THE LAST TIME I POSTED TO THIS THING WAS APRIL 22ND!!!!! I am so ashamed. (hiding my face)Well, let's see... I finally had my surgery on my knee to remove the tumor on August 4th and thought I was getting better but I had to go back for surgery on the 28th because I had 2 blood clots! I was in serious pain ya'll! According to the doctor I had "dinged" my liver from all those pain pills and tylenol. It was like I went on a 4 day drinking binge! The tumor was bigger than they expected and it had started eating my bone. I'm doing much better now. Now, I'm finally at home trying to recoup from being in the hospital from the 28th trip. They had to give me 3 pints of blood during my lovely stay. You know the "vampire's" came in every morning to draw blood. I'm still sore as hell. Anyway, I finally got out a few days ago and finally made it to the computer. I'm on a walker, but getting better everyday. I thank all of you that have been with me during my journey. I hope my story has inspired someone out there.SMOOCHIES........
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Hospital Reviews Surgeon Info: Surgeon: Wade Barker, M.D. I feel like everyone else, Dr. Barker is VERY easy on the eyes! He is a nice looking man. He was straight and to the point. The first time I met him he sent me to another doctor to get me on Blood Pressure medication. I was not pleased with that at all! I was ready to get my surgery. The second time I went in, he was nice and easy to talk to. He complimented my laugh. *blush* I was set up for surgery that day and he told me that he would see me on Feb. 1, 2006. I came in with a cane and he wanted to make sure that I would be able to walk, because walking is vital to recovery. He also stressed that if I didn't take my BP pills I wouldn't be able to have surgery. You know I immediately got a refill for those darn pills so I could get my surgery done! He came in to see me after surgery a couple of times. He is a busy man!!! In and out. By the way....I was a transfer patient from Turning Point. I thank him for taking me in to his family and doing my surgery! Insurer Info: Medicare I am blessed that I do not have to go through an approval process. |
You are fancy shmancy! You have all the bells and whistles and you attract the most gluttonous of ice-cream shop patrons. You are fattening and intensely rich. That being said, you are very tasty and have a huge fanbase! good for you!
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