ObesityHelp

blog

The beginning
I'm in the early stages of my journey... I had an appointment with my brand new PCP on the 4th, and asked her what I could do for weight loss... I'd been researching WLS, but hadn't given it any serious thought until I talked to her. She was all for it, even suggested it to me! So We did a bunch of lab work and she scheduled me to come back and talk about it some more. In the meantime I went home and started researching, researching, researching... I decided I do want the surgery, but it took me some mourning, over my addiction to determine that I could do it. I mean, the reality is I'm addicted to food. Horribly addicted to food, and with this surgery, much of my addiction is going to be forced by the wayside.. I needed to get past that. I have though, and I do want the surgery!!!

blog layouts

My surgery date




My ULTIMATE GOAL 140 lbs




Get your own countdown at BlingyBlob.com


Divider #3 glittery hearts in a row

blog

This is a list I found today - I had it posted to another favorite site of mine 3 years ago, the thread was entitled: I want to loose weight because...
I WANT TO LOOSE WEIGHT BECAUSE:

I want to look good
I want my husband to think I look good
I want to wear pretty clothes
I want to chase my kids around the yard and park
I want to feel good
I want to fit into a pair of strappy sandals/shoes
I want to get pregnant again, & have to loose to be comfortable
I want my husband to be able to pick me up
I want to set a good example for my kids
I want to feel sexy again
I want to hug my knees
I want to never wonder what others are thinking
I don't ever want to be asked my due date again (unless preggo)
I want to look in the mirror again
I want my very first "little black dress"
I want to be healthy
I want to enjoy working out

Clearly - I have a ton more to add to this - I'm going to post my goals for weight loss somewhere near the top of my profile - I just have to figure out what they all are!

blog Layouts

April 12th I GOT A CONSULT!!!
I was thinking ahead and decided to call around and get some information on different surgeons.. I was having a heck of a time though! I called:
Dr. Cirangle - sounds great, but requires $4K upfront (insurance doesn't cover)
Dr. Murayama - also sounded fabulous, BUT very strict on making a TON of appts pre-op AND post op, and no consideration for being on another island (I'm in Hawaii - and would have to fly to Oahu from my island for all the appts... would get very spendy)
Dr. Lapschies - having trouble getting ahold of his office!!
Dr. Balfour/Huang - this is it! Dr. Belfour ONLY does open RNY - so not interested in him, but Huang does Lap RNY and I spoke with their co-ordinator and got myself a consult next week!! Now hopefully that's all great with my PCP when I see her tomorrow! I will see a dietician (my own expense $85) for an initial consult and so he/she can make reccomendations to the surgeon and I will see Dr. Huang. I can't wait!! I'm so excited that I got the ball rolling already, and that I got in to see them so quickly!

blog Layouts

April 13th Dr.'s Appt
Saw my PCP today - she did a yearly womanly screen and we talked WLS.. she was all for it and said she refers to Dr. Balfour! I asked her about Dr. Huang since she's in the same office and she said that was fine too. She said some of my labs were worriesome to her (see the following post) and that she was diagnosing me with high BP (strange... my Bp's have been more then normal!!) She prescribed an antihypertensive drug for me, and also wrote this on my refferal form to see Dr. Huang. She was very impressed that I had already been in contact with them. Her "reason for consult" was listed borderline DM, HTN, BMI 52.3. So everything's a go!! Also - Linda at Dr. Belfour and Huangs office told me to ask about flight re-imbursement from my insurance HMSA - so I called them when I got home and they booked me a flight!! No way! How cool is that?!?! I'm thrilled. My flights ought to be paid for and that takes a load off of me - trying to figure out the finances!! Yippee!

blog Layouts

APRIL 14th LAB REVIEW -boring unless you like the medical review..

The labs were kinda screwy... I am: anemic - but my b12, folic acid and iron are great... I have very low estrogen (could this be because I'm storing it all in my fat?) I have high LDL's, but overall cholesterol is fine. I'm borderline diabetic - some numbers were high, others within range (I did the 3 hour gtt) My Erythromycin sedimentation rate was low - I'm going to have to research what that could mean.. my CK levels were elevated which scared me a little, because the only thing I knew of that you use CK to diagnose is tissue distruction in a heart attack!!! Turns out there are three kinds of CK - not sure which was elevated though. All it means is that I had some muscle deterioration. We re-tested it to see if it's a problem??? Hmm..

Also - from urinalysis I am spilling 3+ protein - my PCP immediately said she was concerned about high BP even though my pressures have been consistently 120's/70's... again hmm... instead we are reffering to a nephrologist to get a consultation on my kidneys - there is significant hx of kidney issues in my family.

also had blood in my UA (not on my period) and bacteria.. hmm. again! Will let you know what develops.

blog

April 17th So I'm being super pro-active

I want my surgery date as fast as I can get it. As Bon Jovi so aptly put it...

"It's my life, it's now or never, I'm not gonna live forever, I just wanna live while I'm alive"

So, I called Linda to find out what things I could do in advance, and or what I could schedule for this Thursday when I'm going to be there for consult. She said it would be okay for me to come in and do the Psych eval.. The MMPI. It's a walk in appt, and she felt that since all indications were that I would qualify for the surgery it shouldn't be a problem to do it right away. ALSO **dancing for joy** I do NOT have to do the Ai Pono (8 week counseling) program!!! Woohoo!! Not that I'm opposed, because I'm totally all for counseling - but it's an 8 week delay in my book AND I would have to fly to Oahu once a week, and I'm not sure I'd get HMSA to cover it for counseling.

She also told me that it would be fine to do most of my testing and screens on Kauai, and that once Dr. H gives approval for surgery my PCP can schedule (with my help and pushing of course!!! lol) my EKG, upper GI, Pulmonary function test (PFT) gallbladder ultra sound etc. etc.. YES! One more hurdle that can be completed here on Kauai, AND that I can push to have done quickly.

I asked Linda about pre-op weight loss, what is required? She said that the physicians like you to loose 10% of your body weight before the surgery - according to the paperwork you're supposed to come in once a month to be weighed, but since I'm off island I'm just supposed to call her with the info... however - it kind of sounded like it wasn't mandatory.. just what the docs LIKE.. kwim? So once I get the go ahead I'll give it a go and see what I come up with, but they're asking for 31 pounds, which is alot!! That could be a two month battle easily. I don't want to waste the time!Hopefully it is somewhat flexible, or I can be steadfast on a really good diet.. maybe Atkins? I don't generally believe in Atkins (for myself) because it's hard on your kidneys and mine are temperamental anyways.. BUT.. it's the fastest I've ever lost.

Linda said that I should go ahead and bring in the labs I've already had done - it'll give the doc an idea where I'm at, and if we schedule before 3mos, may be able to be my pre-op labs if everything was drawn. She also said that I didn't need to worry about bringing any H&P from my C-section. The paperwork requests any documentation of abdominal surgery, but she said a C-section is no big deal and it doesn't count!?? okie dokie then.. no problem.. it was going to be tough to get the paperwork anyways.

I'm just so happy I called and got the ball moving just a little bit more. I'm a very pro-active person, so hopefully.. that will help me get it done faster! Linda also said that Dr. H has about a 2 month waiting list right now give or take. She operates on Mondays and Fridays generally, but Linda said they like to have the out of towners come in the day before to do their pre-op stuff, so to plan on coming in one day before, and then hospital stay is 2-3 days... seems kinda long stretching it to 3 days after laparoscopic, but I don't care!! It will give my honey and the kids some time to explore the island of Oahu.. we really haven't seen it yet. I'll be jealous, but it's okay. I'm getting a new body, and a new life!!!! Who can complain!?!?! lol... I'm in a good mood today, can you tell?

blog

May 5th, 2006
Well it's been a bit since I've updated because I've been terribly depressed! I'm not 100% sure why, but I can definately assume that the fact that I haven't been taking my Wellbutrin has something to do with it. I just got all out of sync, and never got back to it. I need to do that. I'll start tonight.
Anyhoo.. today I started calling around to find out if there's another surgeon out there that I could easily go with. I am just NOT happy with the one I have. The more I think about it the more I think she's just not right for me. Soooo... Called one Dr. in LA today and he picked up the phone! Said it was late Fri. afternoon and everyone else had gone home. He answered a bunch of questions for me and I really liked him. He seemed very competent and had REASONS for the way he does things unlike my surgeon. I liked him. So I'll find out some more on Monday I think.

blog layouts

May 8, 2006
I have a kidney infection... it came on very suddenly today, with intense pain, frequent urination, back ache etc.. etc.. by the time I got to the Dr's office I was peeing mud. I had, had alot of blood in my urine throughout the day up until that point, then until I could get some pain meds I quit drinking, because I needed NO extra reason to have to pee! She put me on 10 days of Cipro and pyridium for the pain. OUCH!

blog Layouts

May 12, 2006
My how things change, and they seem to change fast. Another member of the Hawaii board emailed me and suggested I look into Dr. F . He's somewhat new in town, and so far has a fairly good reputation. So I gave his office a call and spoke with his co-ordinator Anna. I liked her - I thought she was very competent and seemed to know her stuff. Not sure what her title is (RN? RD? Otherwise?) but she knew Cozaar was an ace inhibitor the minute I said it and was equally curious why I was on it if I'm "Normotensive"..

Anna wants me to go ahead and fax her a referral from my PCP, and then get her copies of all my test results that are complete thus far, then she'll get me set up. It sounds like what we're aiming for is to go to a June 2nd seminar, and consult on the same day, and then have surgery in June sometime. She said she'd get me into the June group. Which is so cool! I have been hoping for June all along. I think it will be a little odd going into this change over the summer - I hate ANY changes in the summer normally, because I'm hot and bothered, but MAYBE this summer can be different for me!! I hope so. So the stage is set. I have a few more hoops to jump through and then it ought to be smooth sailing (saying a prayer here!!!)

The only thing that has me a bit concerned right now is the fact that my husband just took a week off of work (brand new job too) and he's going to need to take another week+ off late summer, and now for me to ask him to take a week off (or so) for this surgery?!?! Not sure how he's going to swing that. I mean his boss adores him and has said many times he wants to do whatever he needs to, to keep him.. but still. Not to mention, we need the money! With all the time off our bills gotta get paid somehow!!! lol... So, I'm trying to figure the best way to do this. It's going to cost us about $300 in airfare just for him and the kids to join me. The hotel cost will stay the same, and $300 isn't that bad, it's just the missed days of work. He can make up some of those hours by working long days on other days, but I hate to ask him to do that!! Oh well, we'll do whatever we have to right? lol..

I had my first "post op" dream a couple of nights ago.. STRANGE.. I was feeling really scared - wondering "what did I do to myself" trying to tell if I could actually FEEL the difference in my Pouch vs stomach.. I was looking at myself and kinda mourning the fact that I was "altered" if you know what I mean? It was weird. I woke up feeling pretty sad. I know that this journey is going to be filled with a million emotions. I hope I'm ready for them and am smart enough to know what to do with them. I think I know what to expect for the most part, so that helps. I just don't want to do ANYTHING at all that would hinder my progress!

I want to be one of those who hits the ground running, and doesn't stop for a second until the weight is gone, and I'm showing good maitenance! I will be seeing a bunch of people I haven't seen in months at the end of this summer and I would really like to have lost a significant amount before then. It gives me 2-2.5 months or so.. I can dream right?? I'd kill to see -50 or even -60 lbs on the scale by then!!

So what's my plan then, you might be wondering... well, I'm not 100% sure, but what I DO know is that I will have NO ability to slack in the exercise dept. I would like to say that I actually LIKE to exercise, but that's simply not the case. It's hard, it hurts, my heart races, my body overheats, my face and head feel like it's going to explode. BUT I am reminded that, that's why I'm having this surgery!!! AND... I know that each and every day will get easier and easier. I just need to find a way to stay motivated. Rewards, or accountability.. probably both. We live near a golf course I can walk, and there's a two pools nearby I can swim laps in, and I need to inquire about a gym membership. I want a personal trainer if I can afford it. Even if I only see them 1 or 2 times a week I think I need one early on. I want someone who can focus me on the right areas, and give me good muscle toning and skin shrinking ideas! lol..

Additionally, just because I'm lazy, I may stay on the liquids/purreds a little longer then I have to. I think it will be fairly easy to just grab a protein shake or an applesauce etc.. and go.

So, the plan is to use fitday.com to track intake AND energy spent, figure out some rewards for myself like a pedicure (have been afraid to let anyone touch my big fat feet and legs! Or something similar.

Also - I've realized that for this to work I'm going to have to focus on ME, ME, ME.. that I'm going to be selfish at times, that I'm going to seem indulgent to my family, that I'm going to have to think of my needs first because in the end it will benefit them tremendously. I've known this for a long time - just haven't been able to committ to it. Afterall - I'm a mom and a wife first right?!?! NOT anymore. Whew! That's going to take adjusting on everyone's part. I already warned my husband that until I'm on solids, and maybe even not then - he can expect to do 90-100% of the cooking in our house. That could change - maybe I'll be up to it, but I need to be removed from that equation if it will help me focus on me, and help me not to be jealous or upset by what (or how much) THEY'RE eating. I just know that for a while I'm going to be one selfish woman, and I think they'll understand! If mommy needs to go swim after dinner rather then read bedtime stories, then tonight, that's what I gotta do. If mommy won't buy ice cream for you because it might cause me to fall, then you'll get over it. It's gonna be alright. It will be. They'll adjust, right? And since they're fairly young, hopefully this will impact their own healthy lifestyle as well.
Whew! I gotta shut up now! Once I get going, it's hard to stop sometimes! lol..

image hosting

May 23rd, 2006
I kept my appointment with Dr. H yesterday. I felt alot better about her in general, though I still don't know if I have the answers I wanted - ie.. what HER complications have been. I'm going to ask the program co-ordinator. My husband thinks I ought to just go with her, because we both feel she is a very competent surgeon. I am only unsure about her knowledge re: bariatrics in general. Just because she doesn't seem to have the answers to very general bariatric questions, and or have reasoning to back up some of the decisions she makes re: bariatrics... however - I'm leaning towards that being a difference in personality/culture. I know she's a capable surgeon. Does it matter if she knows every little bit about bariatrics? Does it matter if she does A LOT of things differently then other doctors? I dunno. I DO know however that she works with a renowned Dr. for this area who has been doing the RNY (open) for a very, very LONG time.... *sigh* can you tell I'm still shaky about it all? I tried calling Dr. F's office just to check in with them and see if we might still be able to pull this thing off in June - but Anna is out of the office for a few days. I'll try her again Wed/Thurs..

On a positive note -
I GOT A DATE!!!!

image hosting

My re-birth is scheduled for June 30th, 2006

Provided I can go through with it, with Dr. H! I'm sure I will - there aren't any REAL good reasons not to. And - Dh is leaning that route... additionally - it won't require me to make monthly payments - it's completely covered. There is no aftercare - besides meeting with the Dr... but I'll just have to make up my own aftercare, right?

I was thinking, that since there is no real support system anywhere near where I live and I know of at least 10 different people who've had WLS - I may just have to create one of my own! I wonder what people would want/need. I wonder what I should put together, and how to go about it. I think I'll post the question to the members at OH, I'm sure I'll get some feedback.

OH YEAH!!! And, I've lost 5 lbs! Dr. H seemed really pleased with me *Shy grin* I love to make people happy with me... lol... I'm pleased with myself! AND... I get to start a ticker now! I refused to start one until I had some loss to show.

Also - in my heart to heart with Dh - he informed me that he recently found out what my weight was... I had blacked it out on a piece of paper I gave him to read - since I really wasn't ready for him to know yet, and apparently it bled through and he could still see it.. Sad.. but - it's a load off my shoulders too, because now there's nothing I have to hide from him in regards to this. I can just get over the embarrasment now and move forward to make change.. It allows me to post a chart in the bathroom over the scale if I want, it allows me to comfortably put it all over my journal, and not be afraid to let him read it.... it allows me to not worry while I'm at the hospital that he'll somehow find out... It's a good thing I guess - just wasn't planning on it, and was a bit overwhelmed, shocked and disheartened. On the other hand - he asked me how much I plan to loose - and it gives me the ability to talk numbers with him. I'm still not 100% sure how much I even CAN loose - but I'd be very happy at 160, even though to be out of the "overweight category" I think I need to be more like 135-140. I'd be THRILLED if I could get that low, I'm just not holding my breath. That'd be 170-175 lbs! YIKES! I plan to re-adjust my goals as I get closer to them... lets see if the weight just melts off in the beginning or if I am one of those super slow loosers (please God, no... I need the fastness in the beginning to keep me going!)

Okay - so Linda (office co-ordinator for Dr. H) said she'll submit my paperwork right away to insurance, and that we ought to know by next Tuesday (monday is Memorial day) at the latest. She said my insurance co. is usually fast, that we may even know before then. I'm not worried though - My BMI alone should qualify me. I gave a diet history, and I'm loosing weight already, although that isn't a requirement for surgery. Should be fine.

blog Layouts

List of things I want to do or am looking forward to when I lose weight:

I want to:

1. be able to lift my leg up and rest my ankle on my knee (without using my hands)
2. Cross my legs at the knees COMFORTABLY!
3. Tie my own shoes
4. Not have a double chin anymore.
5. Have a defined chin and cheekbones
6. Be able to see my collar bones
7. Wear a size 20
Wear a size 18
Wear a size 16
Wear a size 14
8. Wear a size 12
9. Wear a size 10
10. Wear a size 8
11. Wear a size 6 (I hope!)
12. Feel comfortable wearing a pair of shorts or a skirt – and letting the world see my legs
13. be able to tuck my shirt into my pants or skirt.
be able to wear a belt that shows off my waist, as an actual accessory
14. Feel comfortable/confident in “slightly” skimpy clothing
15. To own, and look good in - a little black dress.
16. To own and look decent in a two piece bathing suit
17. To wear my size 7 short, short, jean shorts – haven’t worn since college. (probably only to try on!)
18. Wear an ankle bracelet
19. Own some bracelets that will actually fit over my hand
20. Have my rings re-sized
21. Wear a smaller shoe size! Preferably my old size 7’s! (I’m 9 now)
22. To wear strappy sandals
fit a size D bra correctly
23. fit a size C bra correctly
be comfortable wearing a bathing suit by the end of summer
24. get a nice tan and be proud to show it off
25. Break the 300# mark
26. Be below 280#
27. Be under 275#
28. Be under 260 ish # - less then my husband, whatever he weighs at the time!
29. Be under 250#
30. Be under 225#
31. Be under 208# – the weight I was when I conceived my first child, and presumably, when I got engaged.
32. Be in Onderland!
33. Be ¼ of the way to my goal
34. Be halfway to my goal
35. Be ¾ of the way to my goal
36. At goal!
37. be able to stand and work in the kitchen without my back hurting.
take my kids hiking
38. learn to surf
39. go kayaking
40. buy my own kayak and use it!
41. Play sports/ outdoor games/physical games with my kids
42. Do a round off back hand spring again.
43. be able to ride a bike again (panni is in the way now)
44. be able to power walk 3 miles
45. start jogging
46. Actually like to exercise
47. Wow my kids by being able to keep up with them.
48. Have my kids be able to fit their arms all the way around me
49. Go parasailing
have someone tell me that they hardly recognized me because of the weight I have lost.
have someone NOT recognize me because of the weight I lost.
feel sexy
catch someone innocently “check me out” (stranger).
50. Have my husband tell me he’s proud of me
51. Have my husband tell me he likes that I’m HIS catch/ tell me he’s noticed others are looking now
52. Feel comfortable standing beside my husband and being smaller than he is.
53. Have my husband be able to comfortably pick me up and carry me around
54. Be able to use any position we like when we …. You know….
55. Be able to sleep on my back again
56. Be comfortable sleeping on my stomach again
be able to shop in the juniors section if I wanted to
57. Feel okay seeing old friends/boyfriends etc.. not embarrassed because of my weight.
58. Actually – seek out old friends.
be able to go in ANY stall in public restrooms and not feel “cramped”
59. Be able to sit in any public chair I want to and not feel pinched or uncomfortable, but rather have ROOM around me – ie plane seats, movie theater seats, roller coaster seats
Have a tummy tuck/ abdominoplasty – whatever it is I will need
Have a breast lift and have perky girls again!
60. Have brachioplexy (I think I’m going to want it)
61. Perhaps have my legs done (we’ll see)
Have Dh say I no longer snore at night.
62. Be able to wrap a NORMAL towel completely around me
63. Be able to wear a sarong
To be able to sit cross legged comfortably
64. To be able to hug my knees to my chest
65. Be as small as my mom
66. Be as small as my sisters – able to fit their clothes even though they’ll never let me borrow them!
67. Be able to walk all day at an amusement park/attraction and not get tired or need to sit down
68. Be able to go on all the rides at Disneyland/Disneyworld or any other amusement park for that matter, and not worry once, whether I will fit.

blog Layouts

Interesting BMI information for my Height:
at 315# my BMI makes me Super morbidly obese
When I am 300# my BMI will make me Extremely obese
When I am 240# my BMI will be 39.9 and I will be Obese
When I am 180# my BMI will be 29.9 and I will be overweight
When I am 150# my BMI will be 24.9 and I will be normal
IF I get to 112 I will be 18.6 which is the lowest of normal
IF I were to get to 111 or below I would be underweight

image hosting

MAY 30th, 2006
I called the insurance company today and apparently the surgeons office didn't send in my letter for approval until last Friday!?!?!? Ugh. *sigh* oh well.. they have it and it's in process as we speak. I imagine I'll know by Friday this week. I would think anyways. Also - I'm finally 100% decided to go with the original surgeon. I'm sure she's competent and I'm just going to have to advocate for myself for all the "little" details. I also called the other surgeons office and let them know. I don't know what the co-ordinator there will say - she told me several times that she could get me in, in June and then it was "well, June or early July" for a couple of conversations and then it was July. Also - she said I could combine my appointments so I didn't have to make so many long distance trips... nada.. she scheduled me to see the surgeon on one day and wanted me to come back to see the seminar on another. It seems redundant to me to go to the seminar at this point. Additionally - It's a very long way for me - and she said she'd combine them. *sigh* whatever. I have a date and that's terrific!! JUNE 30th, it is!!! I submitted for the time off at work. I'm hoping there won't be any snafoos - I asked for a bunch of days off last schedule too because my husband was out of town. I hope it's not any problem. Theoretically I could get away with only missing two days of work.

My theory is to have 10 days off, and go back to work. I hope I'm not jumping the gun way too much.

image hosting

TO DO LIST with surgery 1 month away:

1. Write a living will
2. Write an advanced directive giving my husband the right to make medical decisions for me.
3. Write letters to each member of my family. Husband, kids, parents, siblings etc.
4. finish loosing my pre-op weight
5. continue researching
6. Make reservations for hotel/rental car and plane tickets for surgery.
7. Ask my pharmacy for a list of liquid pain killers that they keep in store there.
8. Make an appointment with my primary care doc for follow up, get any additional refferals I need AND start on birth control of some sort.
9. Empty the cupboards of any trigger/problem foods for me. (My family is going to be eating as healthy as I am!!)
10. Make a menu for the first couple months
11. Buy a bunch of appropriate foods for me and stock my cupboards
SHOPPING LIST:
SF applesauce
SF pudding
SF Jello
Crystal lite
Protein powders - I have some
Calcium
b-12 (have it)
Biotin (have it)
Multivitamin (have it)
A few kinds of Soups
Several types of baby food
SF popsicles
SF Fudgesicles
Broths of several different kinds
Oatmeal
Cream of Wheat
Unjury tasteless protein powder
yogurt - if I can find any SF or no Sugar added - haven't been able to so far
Propel
Isopure protein drinks
Profect protein vials
Water bottles galore so I can sip, sip, sip!!

image hosting

I've told a couple of people at work... I hadn't come up with a good excuse as to what surgery I was asking for time off for, and when asked directly could not lie. I should have said I needed some other medical thing - but seriously couldn't think of anything!! Ah well - more people holding me accountable so to speak. I just hate being the guinea pig, or like an animal at the zoo - looked at and questioned, and people watching my every move to see what I'm doing... you know? Still not planning on telling the family any time soon. Eventually my inlaws will probably find out, but I see no reason that my siblings and parents ever have to know. I don't plan on it, that's for sure. AND -since my kiddos are so little still, won't be telling them, just so it doesn't leak out to the rest of the world. They really don't need to know unless something went HORRIBLY wrong, which is unlikely.

So there's my thoughts for tonight! I'm 1 month out. I cannot believe it. I wish it was closer, and yet sometimes I wish it was further. I am not afraid of having surgery. I'm not afraid of complications or hospitalizations... I'm afraid of loosing my best friend! Food.. the ugly demon in my life that controls me. I need to get past that ugly demon. I will - this surgery will give me the right tool to get on with life without the food demon - I hope it will completely go. I hope I am one of those who becomes obsessive aobut my diet/lifestyle. I know I can and I know that if I do, I will do really well with this. If I don't then I will only do good/okay. I want to be the one who obsessively works out because i love it, love the way I feel, love what it does for my body, and love the results. I want to be one who prides myself on the way that I eat, so I can lead my own children by example - so that I can feel good about me, so that I can treat my body like the temple it is.

Nuff of that for now... I left a message for L at Dr. H's office today asking her some questions about surgery - when should I come off my meds, how long should I book a hotel for before coming home once I've been released from the hospital, etc.. etc.. I also got the pre-op diet plan in the mail a couple of days ago... It works like this:

3 days out - simple, easy to digest foods such as white bread, white rice, low/no fiber fruits and veggies, broths etc.. low residue foods..

2 days out - same as above

1 day out - clear liquids all day and then bowel prep the night before, oh joy!! Not looking forward to that bowel prep at all!! I was warned to be nice to my patients in nursing school. Hand the patient the jug along with their favorite book or a gameboy or something else entertaining, and walk them to the bathroom before you even let them take a sip!! It's volatile!

That's it for tonight - I'll update more as things continue to happen. I wish I could be a little less consumed with all of this - but I guess since that's the way I'm going to need to be after it happens - it doesn't make sense to worry about it now!! WLS and OH are about all I think about in my spare time now...

image hosting

APPROVED!!!

It's JUNE 1st, and I am officially approved!! I just got a call from the co-ordinator and she gave me check in times etc.. etc.. She said I will get a call from the surgery dept to get information and to verify times on June 26th, and then I need to be in their office at 0930 on June 29th. I have a Dietician appointment at 11am. Check in on the 30th at 0530 for surgery at 0730. I have no idea how we're going to work the kids. I know my husband wants to be there with me, and I want him to be too, but he also doesn't want the kids there.... Other then an actual babysitting service I have no idea what we're going to do with them, or he's just going to have to compromise one way or the other... either have them there, or not be there himself... :( Hmmm...

Also - she says I'm supposed to stay in town for the full two weeks until my follow up with Dr. Huang!!! Yeah right! I don't think so! There's no way on earth I can afford that. She said to expect to be released either Sunday evening or Monday. and we're talking like 9-11 days of a hotel bill. That's a bit much, not to mention I want to be back at work by 10 days out. Soooo.... we'll see how that works.

Last night we researched a bunch of the kids programs in Honolulu at the different hotels and such looking for ones we could put the kids in for the day - they're super expensive!! They're like $75-$100/day/kid some of them... I did find a half day one for $55, but it's hard to know how long we'd need it. I need to call the hospital and see what they reccomend as far as hotels and childcare. Maybe they'll have an idea. I also talked to Jay about the possibility of having someone from our church take them before and after their day summer day camp here, but we're not sure on that either. We're not super connected there yet, and it might be awfully awkward.

Oh well..... the important thing is I have a DATE and I'm APPROVED Wohoo!!!

Surgery: JUNE 30, 2006 at 0730

image hosting

June 4th - A little nervous
But not for the reasons you'd think! The union I work under is considering striking... It would happen as early as next Friday!! If that happens, I'm not sure what will happen with my insurance and how that will or won't affect my surgery. I know we can manage to cobra if we have to for one month, but we have no idea how long a strike might last.. Crazy!!! Not to mention I may have a ton of time off, which also means a ton of time not earning money. Hmmm.. lots to think about. But this has me worried..

image hosting

Here are some of the lyrics to one of my current life/inspirational songs - it's by Carrie Underwood. I learned it and continue to stick with substituting the word LIFE instead of Love slips away.. It works for me.

"Wasted"

Standing at the back door
She tried to make it fast
One tear hit the hard wood
It fell like broken glass
She said sometimes love slips away
And you just can't get it back
Let's face it

For one split second
She almost turned around
But that would be like pouring rain drops
Back into a cloud
So she took another step and said
I see the way out and I'm gonna' take it

I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Another glass of whisky but it still don't kill the pain
So he stumbles to the sink and pours it down the drain
He says it's time to be a man and stop living for yesterday
Gotta face it.

Cause' I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missing
The still of the morning, the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted

image hosting

June 8th 2006
I'm 3 weeks out! But I'm worried - my union is looking at striking over contract negotiations and they would officially go on strike the 20th. *sigh* not fair!!! I don't know what that will do for my insurance, if I will have to cobra it or what. It's going to be like $800 to cobra and if I'm not working, that's quite a stretch. Not to mention - I was planning on recieving disability and sick leave which seems unlikely to me if we are on strike. SAD!!! I know we'll make it and be fine, its more my surgery I'm worried about.

Last night I told Dh that I had written final letters to some of my family members and it hit him pretty hard. He cried, I felt horrible. I feel like I'm being so selfish, but in alot of ways it's for him, and my children as well... I just didn't know what to say or do. How can I comfort him? I mean, I can tell him that statistically there's extremely low chance of death, BUT he already knows that. It's the reality of talking about it. I know I still have some legal stuff I want to take care of as well, but I'm afraid to pose most of it to him.. like a power of attorney or living will. I seriously doubt I'll ever need them, but if by some off chance i did.. I don't want to be without. One of his comebacks when I reminded him of the low risk of the surgery was.... "well, it's not like we're dealing with a world class surgeon here..." He's right. we don't know what her mortality rate is, how many surgeries she's done, what her complication rate has been... I know shame on me.. but I couldn't get it out of her nicely, and I couldn't be rude!! AND - there really weren't other options for different surgeries and having this surgery anytime this CENTURY!!! lol... so, yeah, she's a big mystery qualification wise, but she works under a very, very respected surgeon and that's where I'm putting my confidence.

So, I'm working on a Reward list.. I'm not sure what I'm going to include in it yet but I know that I want it to be tangible things that will stay with me on my journey (not clothes - at least not many) and healthy... the difficult thing is knowing in advance what our financial situation will be like and will I be able to afford to do this, or that.. I asked this question on the boards and recieved back some great replies, but one that stuck out is jewelry.. it's a neat way to adorn or dress up myself, and one I won't shrink out of like clothes... One person mentioned skydiving.. that sounds awesome!!! I should find some things similar that I want to do, but won't because of my weight. Skydiving, parasailing, scuba diving, etc.. Trips are great, but we aren't millionaires so I have to be selective. Sooooo.. here's a preliminary list that is certainly subject to change.

REWARDS:
the first few will be reward enough just how fast I expect them to come off, so the first one will be at 50lbs.

50lbs lost:
60lbs lost
75lbs lost - Kayak or similar
80lbs lost
90lbs lost
100lbs lost - expensive piece of jewelry perhaps?
199 lbs - scuba diving
when I can wrap a towel around myself: a sarong and sandals
When I can cross my knees: an ankle bracelet
175lbs
165lbs
150lbs - GOAL - a trip somewhere - TBD, perhaps as a family, perhaps just Dh and I somewhere exotic and romantic. Disneyworld... or Australia, or Fiji, or Mexico....

As hard as it may be for me to put away the money I still think I need to reward myself with money for a new wardrobe that I cannot touch until I'm at goal or wherever I'm going to stop (incase I go below, or feel perfect before 150)... Something like $5 a pound. I know it will take an investment, in the beginning, but it won't be much different then any other hobby, and I'm going to want all that money when I get there anyways! At 150lbs it would be $825 to kick off a new wardrobe. That sounds about perfect to me!! Perhaps a little indulgent, but.... I'd deserve it.. and I know my kids would be proud to strut me around, and my husband too.

image hosting

Striking??? What about my WLS?
June 9th, 2006
Well, it wouldn't be my life if there wasn't a bunch of drama... If you haven't figured that out by now, just stick around a little while longer. Soooo... I spoke with a Union rep today who told me that if we do go on strike we wll have to cobra our insurance, and I will not be able to have my PTO, ESL or short and long term disability. So I'm talking/venting/brainstorming wtih Dh and it occurs to me that they can't deny it if the claim starts prior to the strike right? Ie.. my surgery is before the strike and I put in for all my benefits to begin prior to the strike, I ought to be able to tap them. So, thus begins a mad dash on Friday afternoon 1pm HI time to see if I might be able to get in to have my surgery at 3 other clinics I'd already been working with! At this moment, I have a call in to three other clinics, one of which has already submitted papers to the insurance to see if they can get it moved up to like, this week... and see if I can get switched to another doctor in another state!!! It's absolutely crazy nuts! I can't even believe I'm doing this, but I am. Coastal Center for Obesity is the one that's working really hard to get me in asap. She says there's openings on the schedule if I can get approved that quickly. I highly doubt it's going to happen - what with trying to get a plane ticket to San Diego, hotel reservations, the insurance switchover etc.. etc.. all with barely a weeks time... BUT, I'd try just about anything right now to make sure this happens, and if I can get my benefits to kick in, it makes it that much more feasible for me. It'll be interesting to see what happens.

image hosting

Finding a new surgeon not going well yet...Strike vote tomorrow.
June 12, 2006 - - - - - 17days till Pre-op, 18 till surgery!
So, nothing going on today - there was a fax to Coastal Center for Obesity from my insurance saying they needed a refferal from my PCP, so I need to get that first thing in the morning, since they were closed today in observance of King Kamehameha day. Rrrrggg. It looks highly doubtful that I'll be getting it early. So now I can just pray that the strike doesn't happen. We're voting tomorrow, so lets see what happens. Unfortunately, as much as I want the benefits while I'm off, I DO NOT want the contract their offering us, so I'm probably going to have to vote to strike. Sad.... I guess we'll see once both sides present tomorrow.

In the meantime, we've priced tickets to California, looked into scheduling, hotels etc.. etc.. It's really just a waiting game at this point. I seriously doubt that it will happen sooner though, so for the moment I'm still planning on the 30th.

I want to order some protein shakes and such, but I'm still trying to get some shipping info back. It's so stinking expensive to ship things here! It's unreal. I want the sample set from Bariatriceating.com, and I need to find the other site that sold all sorts of samples. Additionally, I need to find a magic bullet on ebay or at Kmart that I can have on head. Personally, I'd like it now, so I can use it!! Patience young grasshopper, patience... I know...

image hosting

June 20th, 2006
I just cann't seem to keep it simple!! Insurance approved me today to go to California and have surgery with Dr. Milton Owens... I called to confirm, and all was well, and then she tells me that well, she can't seem to get time in the OR, and the surgeons were juggling to make this work anyways so maybe we should just let it drop. HUH?!?! let it drop??

Well, Dh had already been a sweetie and the minute we got the go ahead booked me a ticket, which I found out about next, so I called her back and told her and she said - okay, lets see what we can do to make this work. Great.

10-12 calls later - I kid you not, we're cruising, they have almost everything they need, I'm on the schedule for Friday, all is well and the co-ordinator calls to talk pre-op with me. She informs me about the co-pay, and my chin hit the floor..... $3500!!! I asked my insurance co, AND his office if there was one and all they told me about was a $150 fee for after support!!

SOooooooo...... call traffic to a screeching halt.. there's no way I can afford that right now being uncertain of our strike situation. That's why I was trying to get it moved up in the first place!

I should have just been patient and quit trying to make the world run my way...

It's not like it's terribly bad news, afterall, I AM scheduled for surgery in a week and a half, can I really complain?? Heck no!! I just have the worst drama! And I felt so bad for making everyone work so hard only to say, nevermind.

Onward march!! I will be in Honolulu for pre-op in 1 week, 1 day! I got a reminder call today from Dr. Huangs office to remind me not to gain any weight or it will be called off... scary!!


LATER THAT NIGHT --
I did something that I just HAD to do pre-surgery... and called it my "Last supper" We went to a Luau. I have never been to a Luau, my kids and my husband have never been and I figured there's no way ANYTIME in the near future that I will want to go, so, we'd better get it done cause I gotta start focusing on the weight!! It was soooo beautiful, and I loved every minute of it. Food was so, so.. but good enough to eat lots of... honestly, if my portions weren't limited so drastically, this would be an excellent place to eat out as things were pretty healthy - and not done up in sugary sauces etc.. TONS of meats, and veggies as well..
My daughter has always wanted to be a hula dancer, so she was absolutely enthralled... the dancing was phenomenal, there was a fire dancer, there was traditional Samoan dancing, Tahitian dancing, Polynesian dancing etc.. it was so COOL!! I really enjoyed myself so now....

On to the dreaded liquid diet! I always figured this coming weekend would be my last weekend, but with Dr. Huangs office checking up on me, and the pigging out at various "last supper" type dinners - it's time NOW. I know I've put on a few pounds, I can feel it, and I've GOT TO TAKE ALL OF THEM OFF!!! and then some if I can.. Nothing like a crash diet, eh??

Now, if I can manage my hated part - the "crash" exercising!! I HATE that part, but alas, I'm gonna make it work. I HAVE to!! If I get cancelled I'll absolutely die!

My sweet boy told me he'd go walking with me at 0500 in the morning... just bring a flashlight, k mom? Sweet! I think I'm actually going to take him up on it! Why not? It'll be good for both of us. Not tomorrow though - it's too late tonight and I'm a TERRIBLE grouch if I don't get adequate sleep! I know, I know... I'm already starting with the excuses, but what can I say?!?!?! lol.. guilty as charged. I swear, I'll get my butt in gear on FRIDAY morning. Perhaps, I'll go swimming with the family and do some laps on Thursday evening.

image hosting

I love this!! It HAD to go on my profile... So many of these things, I cannot wait for!
now You've Had WLS When.....

*I have a date" does not mean your going out.
*You have baby food in the house and no baby.
* "I'm a loser" is a good thing.
* All of your silverware says Gerber.
* "Welcome to the other side" doesn't include death.
* New clothes fall off in a month.
* You get excited about hand me downs.
* The scale at Wal-Mart no longer says "one at a time please".
* getting wrinkles is a good thing.
* "Just water for me please".
* Hitting the "Century Mark" is actually a good thing.
* You can be touched by an angel and still not be considered crazy.
* When your rear end no longer looks like a mudslide.
* When the word lap has nothing to do with a strip club.
* Other women are calling you "bitch" behind your back.
* When you are glared at in the plus size department because you don't belong there".
* When you really don't have a thing to wear.
* You have to prove you are the person on the drivers license.
* You start being in the pictures not behind the camera.
* You want to hug everyone fat and hand them your surgeons card.
* You are never parted from a bottle of water
* When you order a doggy bag at the same time as your meal.
* Being too small for your britches.
* When the only way your nipples are where they belong is to roll them up, position them with your bra and secure with a ponytail holder.
* When you go pick up your child at school and all the other kids say "WOW, your mom is hot!"
* When you got to the mall a take the first available space instead of circling 20 minutes for one closer to the door.
* You truly are a "cheap date".
* When one drink makes you flipping floozy!
* When you run to the door and don't hear a flapping sound.
* You flip your shirt to show complete strangers your scar.
* Vitamins feel like a meal.
* You go from a 56DDDD to 32AAA in a year and didn't have a breast reduction.
* You've just lost 100 lbs and run into a high school friend who asks "did you change your hair?"
* You can cross your legs... both of them
* Instead of a Wonder Bra you need a Wonder Where They Went Bra
* When your obsession from food turns to your scale.
* They no longer call 911 for the Jaws of life to extricate you from a turnstile.
* No more velcro shoes
* When your stairmaster is no longer used for drying your fine washables
* Your mother says "You don't eat enough"
* When your doctor looks you in the eye and says "I know you will have sucess with this."
* Having sex your husband complains that your hip bones are poking him.
* You can wear corderoy pants without igniting a fire
* When you wave and your upper arms wave back
* You safety pin your underwear
* Someone phones and thinks your husband is sneaking around with some skinny mistress
* Cannot blame the cat for shedding
* The kids wonder what happened to the cake and cookie god..did he die???

image hosting

6/21/06
Okay - so insurance approved me today to go to California and have surgery with Dr. Milton Owens... I called to confirm, and all was well, and then she tells me that well, she can't seem to get time in the OR, and the surgeons were juggling to make this work anyways so maybe we should just let it drop. HUH?!?! let it drop??

Well, Dh had already been a sweetie and the minute we got the go ahead booked me a ticket, which I found out about next, so I called her back and told her and she said - okay, lets see what we can do to make this work. Great.

10-12 calls later - I kid you not, we're cruising, they have almost everything they need, I'm on the schedule for Friday, all is well and the co-ordinator calls to talk pre-op with me. She informs me about the co-pay, and my chin hit the floor..... $3500!!! I asked my insurance co, AND his office if there was one and all they told me about was a $150 fee for after support!!

SOooooooo...... call traffic to a screeching halt.. there's no way I can afford that right now being uncertain of our strike situation. That's why I was trying to get it moved up in the first place!

I should have just been patient and quit trying to make the world run my way...

It's not like it's terribly bad news, afterall, I AM scheduled for surgery in a week and a half, can I really complain?? Heck no!! I just have the worst drama! And I felt so bad for making everyone work so hard only to say, nevermind.

Onward march!! I will be in Honolulu for pre-op in 1 week, 1 day! I got a reminder call today from Dr. Huangs office to remind me not to gain any weight or it will be called off... scary!!

image hosting

6/23/06
I’m having so much trouble with this preop diet!! Perhaps it's because it's self imposed... but I HAVE to be sure not to gain any weight!!

My surgeon will cancel if I've gained even 1 pound... I'm scared to death, and I can tell that I'm a little heavier then I was when I last saw her because my rings are tight and I'm not on my period. I don't have a scale that will weigh me - I'm about 10 lbs too heavy for it!! I will go in to the doctors on Monday to see an official weight, but I'm scared to death, yet NOT eating right!!!!

I'm eating way too much, what's wrong with me!?!?!?! I want this so very badly, yet I sabotage myself every step of the way... I had BETTER be able to change this post op or I'm going to fail this diet too... and that will never do..

Part of my problem is the emotional eating I do - We had something super happy happen today and I want to celebrate, so what's the first thing I think of?!?!? Where can we go for dinner tonight?! Then.... Because I know we're not going to I went scouting to find something around here to eat.

I think tomorrow in the morning while I still have resolve lol, I better clear the fridge and cupboards for real this time.

Protien, crystal light and popsicles that's IT for tomorrow!!!

blog layouts

June 25, 2006
I am in the final stretch - I leave for Honolulu on Thursday morning, surgery Friday morning...

So Thursday, I'm going to be there all day by myself, and I was wondering what you reccomend to do? I've never really had a chance to explore Oahu before - only driven Waikiki beach once, so I'm not sure what I should do to keep myself busy all day (and away from food!!) - My husband and kids will come in at 10pm. I figured I'd make a trip to GNC - as I'm sure yours is ALOT bigger then mine, AND - I'm going to need some Isopure or something for my time in the hotel, waiting to be released home.

I'm a bit in panic mode right now trying to do the liquid diet thing so that I don't weigh an ounce more then I did last time I saw her - problem is, I've had way to many compulsive eating episodes since then... "This might be my last time to eat here at this restaurant" or "This might be my last time having this food.... fill in the blank ____________" SOOoooo... my rings are tight,I feel a little bloated, and I'm sooooo worried. I'm so stupid... I just kept thinking I'd have no problem switching over to a liquid diet 10 days before, because I am so excited about this surgery, yaddy, yadda.. WRONG!!! The first couple of days I TOTALLY cheated, and now I'm in the final stretch - I have 4 days until I step on that scale and she determines whether to operate or not!! I wish I'd actually tried to loose the 10% they suggested... The problem??? It was a suggestion, not a requirement, so I didn't worry about it.

Do I sound like an addict?? YUP.. I am. Addicted to food, worse then I can imagine a Meth head being addicted to Meth..

I wish the beginning of this journey also included a month + stay in a 'food' rehab clinic of some sort. I think that would make an incredible difference in our recovery! Perhaps even staying the month before surgery. Unfortunately, way too many people would not be able to do that, and I'm not sure with my children that I could have handled it either - but seriously - for some food can be a worse addiction then drugs or alcohol, and unfortunately - we won't ever be able to 'just stay away' from our addiction (food) like you could cigarettes, or alcohol.... we have to confront it every day for the rest of our lives!

Thank goodness for our tool... it is going to help greatly, but I know the rest is up to me, and I KNOW I can do ANYTHING I put my mind to, but it's still a little nerve wrecking.

Today - I'm spending the day with the family, but tomorrow I'm going to get my packing done -- any suggestions on things NOT to be without?

Also wondering - do you think sf lifesavers or something similar would be okay to keep our mouth moist until the leak test?? I'm guessing probably not since the syrup will still go through the system and if there WAS a leak it could be a problem. But I thought I'd ask.

Also - anyone familiar with Straub and have any advice or knowledge to share about your stay there?

Last minute diet advice?? I'm desparate because I've been a fool on that one. Just eats me up - it will totally be my own fault, but I'll be devastated if something happens and I can't have this surgery.

image hosting

June 26th, 2006
went to the dr's office just to weigh in and report in to my surgeon before I 'waste both of our time' traveling to Oahu and having to cancel the surgery if I'd gained any weight...

Well..... I'm down 9lbs from my consult!!!! I hope that's fine, I know I'm going to loose a little bit more in the next few days taking in only liquid, I'm only 4 down from my last meeting with her, so hopefully her scale and the doctors scale are in sync!

I'm sooo relieved though, you have no idea! I've been on cloud nine ever since I weighed in. Friday is right over the horizon, and I'm so excited now. I was feeling such a sense of dread that I was just sure I'd have gained so much weight.

Phew!

Later on…

I got a surprise today... a call from the pre-op nurse. He said, we had a 10:30 appointment, but I have time right now, can you do it? I was like.... UM... I'm not on Oahu...... I'm not sure why I would have an appt today? I'll be in town on Thursday for Pre-op..

He says, no, no, no... I do it over the phone! YAY!! How fun to hear everything that's going to happen, and get a bunch of questions answered and stuff. I was so happy.

So here's the highlights - my doctor does not do a night in the ICU, unless there are complications or perhaps if she were to switch to an open procedure.

I will have:
IV
Catheter
NG tube ( through the nose - depressurizes the stomach)
ET tube (intubation)
SCD's - (compression devices on the legs)
Possibly an ART line - which is inserted in the neck.

He told me exactly what to expect from the moment I arrive and check in, until I go to my room, step by step.. it was wonderful!! He answered some med questions I had, and gave me all the information I needed.

So fun!

Later, I called my surgeon's nurse and asked her about weight stuff, I will be canceled if I gaine one pound, and I was really nervous, cause we're getting near my time of the month and I was worried that what if I gain a few pounds in water retention.. I was 315 at initial consult, 309 at our last meeting, and 305.5 today. AND... I've still got two more days before I weigh in with her! YAY! So, her nurse told me she believes that I just cannot gain one pound over our consult weight. If that's the case, I'm in good shape. She said she'd call if it wasn't the case. YIPPEE!! I'm having surgery on FRIDAY!!

blog Layouts

FUTURE update - need to talk about the 'meltdown'

Monday July 24th

I'M HOME!!!
I finally have true internet access again, I can catch up on Big Brother, and So you think you can dance... and TRY to relax for a few days since work is coming up quickly! I'll update more soon, but I've had only a few hours sleep and whatever I post might sound really, really funny... so best to wait.

Oh yeah.... can't leave you in suspense on this one - I'm a little over 3 weeks now and 26lbs down! I was hoping for this HUGE weight loss... but who can complain?!?!?! Goodness, my rings won't stay put, and I feel like my ribs want to fold in on me when I slouch, (weird) AND - I haven't been able to do the best job with my diet... because of trying to move our home... soooo much stress there were a few days I'd go to bed at night and realize I didn't take protein, or drink more then 8oz all day... so now that I'm home I get to re-focus and get this ball rolling baby! Woohoo!!

blog layouts

I copied this from another profile - Quinns mom, thanks for sharing. This is inspirational to me.

Long term Postop secrets for success?
Original Post by Quinns Mom at 7:48 PM PST on 04/01/2006
RNY (07/12/2001)

I think almost everyday we see a post from someone who is 2 years or more postop who are struggling..many say they didnt always follow their diet (i hate that word! lol) or didn't exercise as much etc..

For Postops who are 2 years or more out..what do YOU do..to be successful?
Now success doesn't mean..that you lost all of your weight..that you never eat a cookie..that you exercise 10 hours a day.

What i'm asking is..how do you stick to your program within reason without going over the edge? How have you managed to lose weight and keep it off?

For me..it's a few things.

1- I went into this realistically. I didn't go in thinking i'd lose 100% of my excess weight or that it would happen in 6 months or that i'd never do or eat things ever again..my surgeon was very upfront about me never using the words never ever lol..he promised me that if I did..i'd very disappointed.

2- I always have and still am involved with a postop support group. It keeps me grounded and keeps me attached in a way to the old me..because it gives me the opportunity to see the old me in other people. It gives me a reason to set a good example and it keeps you humble. Plus at my support groups, none of us are barbie dolls and none of us are "perfect" so we all complain about eating a cookie or those damn bags of Easter candy! lol

3-I exercise..every single day..at first..I hated it..but with each day..it got better..and I felt better..I dont do it to lose weight..I do it for my overall health and well being..running is a release for me..I can put my ipod on and run and run and clear my head..and it's such a high..moreso than any high I ever got from a twinkie..or a big mac

4- Give back..I always believed that if we gave back..it would come back to us..it's like a circle..plus..it's harder to fall..if you have many good friends and a wonderful support system to help hold you up.

So I encourage all the people who feel like they have not done well..to please get involved with a support group..it really does make all the difference in the world.

Oh and one more thing..for newbies..

I read posts about "this isnt what I expected"..never go into this..expecting to lose a set amount of pounds..you will most defintely be disappointed.

Also..your body doesnt "stop or decide to stop losing"..you can get to any weight you want to..but..you gotta work for it..at some point.you must change your behavior and eating habits..

Sorry..just some thoughts..and I thought that if people who have been there, done that and got the tshirt..could share how they do it..it woujld help others..because as us oldies know..life at a few years postop is VASTLY different than the first 2 years or so..

It breaks my heart when I see people desperate to get to that number..and I know that i've learned over the years..that I refuse to let a number define who I am as a person and I refuse to let a number define what success really is.

Success for a postop, is losing at leat 50 percent of the excess weight..success is being able to get up in the morning and look forward to living that day..success is not being a slave to medication..success is not being a slave to food.

There are so many different ways to define it..much moreso than what we weigh..

Some will lose all and then some..some will get within 25 pounds..some will get within 50 pounds..and some will never get there at all..

It's totally in our hands..the pouch doesnt determine what weight we end up at..we do..we're the only ones who have the control.

I'm just glad I get up in the morning and can do anything I want..within reason of course lol

I'm just grateful I was given this chance










This is for later on, but didn't want to loose the info knowing full well that I'll someday need it!! The plateau buster diet as posted by Karen G in TX:
How to break a plateau

#1 - Do this for 10 days to break a plateau

#2 - Drink 2 quarts of water a day

#3 - You must have 45 grams of protein supplement and all your vitamins/minerals supplements each day

#4 - You may consume up to 3 oz of the following high protein foods, 5x a day

beef
pork
chicken
turkey
lamb
fish
eggs
low fat cheese
cottage cheese
plain yogurt or artificially sweetened
peanut butter
beans/legumes

You may also have:

sugar free popsicles
tea or coffee
sugar free soda
sugar free jello
broths/boullion
crystal light drinks

#5 - If it's not on the list, you can't have it for 10 days!!!!


I like this advice too... very through DX!!

Post Date: 6/8/06 7:06 pm

OK Folks,
We see this all the time-
"Plateau Buster! Will someone Re-post?"
Sometimes in the past I’ve just copied the "Plateau Buster"
From my hard drive and posted.
More and more I started including the Caveat of-
"Stalls or Plateaus are normal. Stay with protein first
And stay the course, but don’t fall back into the ‘Diet Mentality’
That didn’t work for you before WLS."

Well, that’s not what they asked for,
So who am I to "tag on" the little :nono:
But what to do?

Then it occurred to me….

What about a whole NEW PLATEAU BUSTER!
A "Life-Style for Life."
Not just a terse little list that reinforces the Diet Mentality that
"Yo-yoed" so many to where they needed WLS to get a new start.

So Here’s my "beta-version".
I’m not sure about the feasibility of it at all.
But Like Me, It’s a "Work in Progress." :haha:

---------------------------------------------------------------

To Break A Plateau:

BEFORE DOING ANYTHING-
Realize many, in fact Most Post-Ops
Share this common experience-
Done everything right and lost weight steadily,
Suddenly- the scale won't budge.
Like many others, you've reached a plateau.
When weight loss slows and comes to a stop.


Before you get discouraged and abandon
Your long-term weight loss Strategy of life-style change,
Understand that plateaus occur in any slimming-down process.
Stick with the program and your weight loss will kick in again.


Before you rush to "prosecute,"
And take drastic action,
Do some investigation.


Figure out if you really are on a plateau.
The scale may be a less than least reliable reflection of fat loss.
Look at other indicators. Are you feeling better?
Do your clothes feel looser?
If you're losing inches but not pounds,
Your fat cells are still shrinking/re-arranging location.


Figure in the duration of the stall.
You're only on what could be called a "plateau"
If there's NO change at all
For more than four weeks.

And even at 4 weeks, don’t "assume" anything.
There may be a very Tangible Reason
For the slowdown and Plateau.
If you Truly want to BREAK a Plateau,
Identify and understand the true "Culprit"
Before you just "Open Fire!"


Get this one out of the way first
By being scrupulously honest with yourself.
Are you "Cheating?"
Cheating? It’s not a Diet!
Correct,
But weight loss is directly the result of –
Calories in versus Calories Used.
Are you putting in any "unplanned" nutrition?
Empty Calories?
A little thing will be the "tipping point."

Emotional and compulsive behavior
May allow you to "sabotage" yourself.
It certainly does. For so many Pre-Op.
Yes?
Look at what you are doing with Extreme Objective Scrutiny.


Then-
Check for hidden sources of –
Calories / Carbs / Sugars / Un-wanted Fats-
Read Your Labels Carefully!
Sugar goes under many different names
And in some cases does NOT appear as "sugar" on the label.
Many vitamin tablets have sugar fillers. CHECK!


Conversely, Are you taking in too Little Nutrition?
Many times you carry over habits from other diets & eat too little.
EAT UP... Food is Necessary Fuel, not the Enemy!
Don't skip meals. Just eat Protein First,
Higher nutrition, Lower Calorie Foods.

Don't cut your caloric intake to less than 1000 calories per day.
Increase the amount of protein in your meals.
Don't starve yourself.
Cutting calories to an extreme will eventually cause loss
But at the expense of your health. It Does Not Help you.


Try cutting excess fat and calories to a reasonable level
(usually 1200 to 1800 calories a day, but determined by YOUR Size.)
And divide these up into frequent small meals
(of about 200 to 300 calories each) every few hours.
Eat a decent amount of protein with each meal
To help you feel satisfied longer.
If you keep your carbohydrate intake to no more than 20 grams a day
Your body will go into a state of Ketosis and it will be Hard Not to lose.


A frequent eating schedule will provide a constant source of energy,
Keep your metabolism higher without the insulin rebound.
Six small feedings a day are better AT maintaining level metabolism
Than 3 large meals.
(notice I did not say that 6 meals are better than 3, just better at…)


Perhaps aim for foods with a lower glycemic index.
Check into it at-
http://www.glycemicindex.com/


You may have a mineral imbalance.
How’s your blood-work?
Such as zinc/copper. Or a trace mineral shortage.
Such an imbalance can definitely slow the metabolism
Reducing your "resting consumption" of calories.
Certain nutrients are often recommended to aid in weight loss,
Including chromium, pantethine, selenium, vanadium
And biotin to help stabilize blood sugar and metabolize fat.


Getting enough Potassium?
Potassium shortages are common
For early out Post-Ops. How’s your blood-work?


Exercise? Exercise can improve circulation,
Stabilize blood sugar & other important metabolic benefits.
If you’re walking, great.
But at some point in your loss,
Walking becomes just Activity
And no longer "Exercise."
Are you Breaking a Sweat?
If you have been only walking or cycling,
Try doing some weight lifts and vice versa.
If you are not yet exercising
Try to add some sort of activity to your regular schedule.
At least 20 minutes a day is recommended for beginners.
Walk, Walk, Water, Water…

There’s a reason for that "Mantra."


Increase your water consumption to stimulate lipolysis
(The breakdown of fat stored in fat cells )
And clean your system of excess ketones.


Many Nutritionists recommend
Avoiding eating within 3 hours of bedtime.
Especially avoid any foods that are higher in carbs
As this can trigger insulin production which in turn
Will inhibit fat-burning while you are asleep.


Have you considered Food Allergies?
These may cause all sorts of problems, fatigue, headache, etc…
Check possibility of such causes by dropping out one food
From your diet and checking for changes in how you feel.
The most common culprits are-
Milk, Eggs, Nuts & Peanuts, Fish, Shellfish, Soy and Wheat.
Perhaps checkout-
http://www.foodallergy.org/allergens/index.html

Maybe you have issues with food additives.
Some food colorings cause metabolic responses
Such as sluggishness or hyperactivity in some sensitive children.
Example- YELLOW 5 ... Artificial coloring found in
Jell-O, baked goods, etc... Causes mild allergic reactions,
Primarily in aspirin-sensitive persons.
Check some of the food additives that show up on your labels.
Perhaps a look at-
http://www.cspinet.org/foodsafety/index.html

Caffeine? Yes, it’s a "fence sitter" when it comes to "Dieting"
But-
Coffee, cola & tea stimulate release of insulin
With a temporary lift in energy, But followed by hunger,
Fatigue & slower weight loss.


Are you Drinking Alcohol?
Empty Calories and Alcohol stimulates insulin.


While we’re on "the bible-belt vices,"
Smoking? Smoking uses up vitamin C & stimulates the adrenal gland.
Although quitting smoking is classically
A cause for weight increase,
Long term non-smoking, actually aids
The metabolism to remain a constant fat-burning, healthy machine.

None of the above?
It may be medications you are taking.


Many drugs, even aspirin, can cause or increase incidence of hypoglycemia.
Watch out for hormones, amphetamines, diuretics, antihistamines,
Anti-inflammatory drugs, analgesics, anticoagulants, antidiabetics,
Antibiotics, tranquilizers, clofibrate, acetaminophen, and propanolol.
Beta-blockers, can make your body extremely resistant to weight loss.
Sometimes it isn't what you ARE taking
But what you WERE taking that slows you down.
Different meds last month?


Hormones? They can slow down weight loss
And stimulate the production of insulin.
Estrogen (used in birth control pills) and
Testosterone have much the same effect.


Too much Salt? Typically early on this is not an issue,
But later, excessive salt can cause some water retention.


What about ‘plain old’ portion sizes?
Many people misinterpret the instructions regarding
Eating as "Just Eat till you are Full!
The pouch size will ‘tell you’ when it’s too much."
That assumes you have "re-learned" the feeling of Satiety
As opposed to "Full."


You may need to track your caloric intake and exercise more closely.
Many people find "tracking at fitday.com" a very useful tool.
Check it out at-
http://fitday.com/

So you’ve made it through this long list and everything
Checks out. Perhaps you have a metabolic resistance to losing weight,
And if that is the case, you must consider everything –
Except giving up and admitting defeat.


Your Plateau, if it continues, could possibly require Medical attention.
Continued thyroid problems would definitely call for medical solutions.
Excessive yeast infestation may be part of your problem.
Overgrowth of yeast in the digestive tract has been shown
To provoke food intolerance, headaches and immune-system weakness,
And can keep you from losing weight
By causing unstable blood sugar.


If your plateau WON’T Break,
Enlist your physician to help find the problem.


Done all of this and still looking for the "short list?"


Then what can I say-
"Eat Meat, Cottage Cheese and water for 10 days!
– NOTHING ELSE! NO EXCEPTIONS!
Just try Not to Think of it as a Diet."
(this is of course very tongue in cheek)


You will most likely get a "Bang!"
That will jolt your metabolism into losing.


But if you want more than a bang,
If you want a real "Chernobyl Nuclear Disaster"
To make your system Un-inhabitable for excess fat,
For generations to come,
Then adjust your "Life-Style for Life."


Best Wishes-
Dx