ObesityHelp

I am a 32 year old wife and mother of two. I have been heavy
since my earliest memories. I was always the heaviest in my
classes as a child and that was tourture all by itself. I
managed to get through that with different bouts of depression, I
beleive, although never diagnosed. It was just me trying to deal
with my weight issues.

As I got older I had a very difficult time dating. I tried diet
after diet year after year. In my teens I tried almost every
thing including starvation diets. I would go to aerobic classes
five days a week and eat one meal a day. I was making myself
ill just to get into a size 16. I met my husband at 19.
We wed a year later and ended up having our daughter a year
after that. We were a happy family but weight was still a
problem for me. I gained a lot of weight after my daughter was
born. My Ob/GYN was very weight concious so I was very careful
to keep my weight down during my pregnancy. I still got chewed
out a lot by her if I gained too much between appointments. It
was another difficult time for me. Two years later my son was
born and we did it all over again. Again gaining a lot
of weight after he was born. I did not go to the doctor much due
to the fact that they always weighted you. I hated that. I
could endure just about any problem untill it was gone so that I
did not have to face that.

I am still steadily gaining weight. I try to diet and do ok for
a while but then when I stop I gain every thing I lost and then
some.. Some times a significant amout. My husband has watched me
put on over a hundred pounds in our marriage. It is heartbreaking
to me to have to be seen with him out in public. I do not like
to go to his social functions because I feel like an embarassment
to him. He has never said that nor do I truley feel that he
thinks of me that way. However, that is my perception of his
collegues. They think less of him because he is married to this
fat wife. How could someone so wonderful end up with her?

I want to change my life for the better. I have embraced the
idea of surgery now. My husband brought it up to me a while ago
and like everyone has told me. I should be able to do this on
my own. There is something wrong with me that I am not able to
make this happen. So I try again only to loose some gain it back
and then add to it. I am so tired of that yo yo syndrome. I am
ready for a permanent change in my life.

5-30-2001 as of today I have been approved for my surgery by my
insurance. I was so excitted... Elizabeth call me at work to tell
me.. she is wonderful... I have been having my preop tests done.
I had my pulmonary function test yesterday. That was fine..
Nothing real excitting. I had an abdominal ultrasound, chest
x-ray and ekg and labs drawn last week. I have an egd scheduled
next week and will update again then.

6-6-2001 This morning I have my EGD scheduled... I am a little
scared about that = in fact I am more worried about that than
the surgery itself.... Oh well... the things we do, right.. I
will update when it is all over.

6-6-2001 pm - EGD is all over. It was not that bad. My throat
is a bit sore but not bad. The meds they gave me made me sleep
all day. It is almost 9 at night and I am just now feeling like
I am getting back to normal. Dr. Macray gave me some meds for
my GERD and said that should help. He said there was some
evidence of the problem but nothing that should stop me from
going through with the surgery. He took a few biopseys and will
let us know how that goes when they get the results back.
Tomorrow is my appt with the nutritionist. So many steps in the
journey but all in the right direction.

6-13-2001 I had my second appt with Dr. Todd today. I have had
all my preop testing done and have meet with the dietitian and
it all seems to be in order. We went ahead and scheduled a date
for July 30, 2001. Since I work with Gloria and she has the date
of July 2 - we need a couple of weeks to make sure all is
well before the other goes out. I told Dr. Todd that I would be
ready at any time... He said he wanted to do a few more surgeries
in June so I might end up getting in earlier... I will be praying
for that. It could be as soon as a week away... Wow... it is so
awesome to be this close... :) I will start on my high protein
diet just incase. I was talking with Donna and she was telling
me even more about how it helps with the surgery. I am on cloud
9... This was an awesome day.... Thank you GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

6-22-2001 Well I did not get a call to get ready any earlier
than my scheduled date. I guess I will stick with the 7-30-01
date for surgery. I am a little bumbed. I wanted to be able to
go in early. I had heard through the email grape vine that there
was a cancelation on Monday but that is cutting it too close to
Gloria. It would only give me 7 days to get back to work and
that is pushing it a bit. My mom is telling me to wait and then
I will be prepared and not rushed. I want to rush... hahah I
want to get on with the surgery itself so I can start my road to
the lighter side. My next appt with Dr. Todd is 7-5-2001. He is
coming to my office today to talk with the new Residents. Gloria
and I are going to go. We want to get a before picture with the
great Dr. Todd :) We will have to get one after at various
stages :) That will be a great addition to the scrap book.

7-5-2001 My friend Gloria had her surgery on 7-2-2001 and I have
been there every day with her. She is an inspiration to me. She
has done marvelously well. She will be going home tomorrow. She
keeps telling me that soon she will be my support person. I am
not anxious or anything 25 more days to go :) Seeing her go
through it has been a great tool for me to know what is comming.
I am ready = I want it tommorrow. :) I just keep going through
the days thinking about how it will be when I finally can join
the others on the thin side :) I have stoped shopping. I think I
want to but then I tell myself. You will only be able to wear it
for another three weeks and then it will not fit you anymore :)
that helps me lots. I think my husband is liking that part :) He
might not like it when I have to shop all the time just to have
clothes that fit. But I have a feeling he will be the first one
to tell me to go for it. He is such a great guy :)

7-22-2001 Eight days to go... I have a doc appt on tuesday = it
has been changed twice over the last few weeks. I suspect it is
due to things at the office. I am a bit nervous but not to bad.
I want to be on the other side so badly.. Just not sure about
the whole surgery part.. I mean pain etc... But all good things
have some hard times to make them worth wild. I went camping
this weekend with my friends and my family. It was nice, but
rainy. I am a bit worried about a cold but I am taking my
vitamins and trying to keep up my strength. I will be working a
lot trying to get ready for my abcense there. I am sure all will
be fine. I will write again after my date with the good Dr. Todd.
He will be giving me all my preop instructions, that shall be
fun>>> hahahh ....

7-24-2001 I had my preop visit with Dr. Todd today. So far so
good. We are on for Monday.... 6 days to go. I have my Rx for
my golytly.... we will see how it goes. :)

7-26-2001 Well we are getting closer... I have been out to dinner
the last two nights. Trying to get my favorites in. I have to
get my pre op labs drawn tomorrow and then we will be ready. I
am going to make a stop at the pharmacy to pick up my prescrip-
tions and then on to clear liquids saturday in preparation for
the bowel prep. :) Very ready but gettig a bit nervous. Four
days to go ......... who's counting........

9-24-2001.... Wow what a couple of months.. it has been fantastic
but also a lot of nausea.. it is just part of the road and I am
going with it.. I have lost 42.5 lbs... so I am very happy. I
have so much more energy - life is great. :) Just a quick note
to update.... :) happy dance.