Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.
I haven't been heavy all my life, only for the last 22 years. I am 42 years old and at 5"3" tall find myself morbidly obese at 325lbs.. I gained 145lbs during my first and only pregnancy. Prior to that I weighed around 115 - 120lbs. and wore an "acceptable" size 8. I was always physically active and never really cared about what I ate, because I didn't gain weight. After the pregnancy I was left with 145lbs. of extra weight to deal with. The first week home from the hospital, I packed up all of my Size 8's and put them in a box. At first I was determined to lose weight, and I promptly went to the doctor for pills, which he gladly gave to me. You should have seen this Dr's face when he saw me. He was used to me being thin and it was obvious that he was just shocked by my appearance. I took the pills for a while and lost about 50lbs, but I of course gained it right back when I stopped taking the pills, plus about 20lbs. more. Then I tried, Optifast, NutriSystem, WeightWatchers, Overeaters Anonymous, and any other diet I could find. They were all temporary, because as soon as I would stop dieting, I would gain back all my weight plus. Leading to my present weight of 325lbs. The more I would diet and fail, the more I would overeat, the more weight I would gain, then diet, then fail, then gain more, over and over and over again. Until my metabolism didn't know what to think. My family members were not very supportive either, and it never ceases to amaze me how ignorant most "thin" people can be. You know what I mean. "You would be so beautiful, if...", "your never going to find a decent job if you look like that, they don't hire fat executives"... that last one was courtesy of my loving father. He was very fond of pulling a picture of me from my graduation party out of his wallet and telling anyone who would listen, "look, look how beautiful she used to be....god, if she would only go on a diet."
What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?
Not being able to be active and confident is probably the worst part of this being morbidly obese. I have learned to have a very thick skin and a pat set or retorts for ignorant people, but this doesn't help me tie my own shoes, or walk up and down a flight of stairs. I hate that even so-called plus sized stores don't even carry my size anymore. I have to order my clothes from the King-Size catalog. I have abcesses under my arms, breasts and stomach or a very regular basis. This is what happens when skin sits on skin all the time. It is also pretty bad when you have to take a thin bath towel into the shower with you to reach the parts your hands can't because no one has arms that long. I hate the look of my double chin and my "jowls". I hate the skin under my arms, on top of my thighs, I especially hate my sagging breasts and my hanging stomach. I don't know what else I can say, except for I would like to have my life back. I would like to feel attractive and sexy. I wan't to shop at the mall for dresses and jeans with a zipper in front. I wan't to wear sexy lingerie and no not in a plus-size. I wan't to feel light as air again. I wan't my energy back.
SpiritSongWoman
