jillygirl

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Obesity & Me

Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.

I believe most children who are morbidly obese can relate to my experiences as an overwieght 10 yr old. I was different I was isolated by my weight. The teasing was horrible and left deep emotional scars that only time would heal. How do you tell your obese daughter or son they are still uniquely wonderful. I preface my answer to the emotional battle question with this information so a person can understand the point of view I come from. My emotional and behavioral battle has been going on for 20 years now and I can't possible describe all facets or the changes I have experienced. As for behavior I think I developed an unhealthy relationship with food at about age six. I had a sensitive personality and needed constant reassurance of love and with the shift to an enviroment that was less safe ( meaning school ) I turned to food to fill the emotional void. This started the rollercoaster of guilt and depression that as a child is unbreakable. You begin to make excuses for overeating and all the time there is this pain deep inside that makes you feel so empty but you keep stuffing food in to try and fill it but the pain only gets worse. The feelings of worthlessness are overwhelming as well which enforces the depression and sadness. The truth is my life was not all bad and I tried to maintian some normalcy and I was lucky because I was outgoing and full of personality. Even though there was this underlying pain and dispair I tried as best I could to get through life. As a teen I was very clingy to anyone who would befriend me and I learned many lessons about life in general and relationships as an obese person. Unfortunately I think I learned to not trust people and felt and believed no one would truly ever love me. A new diet and a rapid weight loss brought me to a life I had never experienced in my late teens early twenties. Like always the weight came back and worse than ever before. I met and married a wonderful man who I am happy to say has stuck by me throughout my battle with obesity in my adult life. After eight years of marriage I found my health starting to decline and my weight had skyrocketed to almost five hundred pounds. There has to be another way was all I could think. I did not seek out the option of bariatric surgery -- in fact it had never crossed my mind since I had obese relatives whose attempts at WLS in the late 70's were horrible messes and not very effective. I believe it was divine intervention that my family doctor suggested bariatric surgery and the way I learned of it locally for me was amazing. So now I am awaiting my surgery day January 18th 2002 which is coming very quickly. My emotional rollercoaster and behavioral addictions have come to a screaming halt and a new me is emerging... one that was always been there just hidden under all those layers of fat.

Before & After
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before photo after photo

ARE YOU READY TO PAY IT FORWARD & SHARE YOUR JOURNEY? Your journey will help highlight the many ways weight loss surgery improves lives and makes a difference in our families, communities and world. EACH JOURNEY COUNTS as a voice towards greater awareness.

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