Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.
My story is a bit unique because I had successfully lost weight and changed my lifestyle 16 years ago. I suppose I had to watch my weight and stay active to keep the weight off, but I never felt like I had a 'behavioral and emotional battle' with weight. I was a healthy 150 something pounds for a long time. I was fit, active and very conscious of the food. I kept a food diary, was a personal trainer, marathon runner, and military person that excelled in all areas at work and in physical fitness. I never finished number one in the fitness arena but ME, compared to youth where I DID IN FACT HAVE A BEHAVIORAL AND EMOTIONAL BATTLE, I was number one for me. After my injury to my knees and back, and then getting out of the Marines/Navy in 1998, my interest in exercise diminished over the years to come to present. I mean, imagine working out 4 hours a day (2xs a day basically) five days a week and weekends for 16 years to MAINTAIN weight loss? I woke up one day and just got BORED AND TIRED WITH IT ALL. I hung up my running shoes, put down the weights and started at first to eat a little of this, little of that WHENEVER I WANTED. When I got back to the gym, 10 lbs were on. Then 20, then 30..finally, the knees hurt and back would go out during my intense workouts. My career had taken off so well that I became sedentary having only one main meal a day. My metabolism shifted having been used to five small meals when I was athletic and in control. My one meal a day was huge and high in fat. In one year, last year 2002 I was a size 13/14. That was HUGE for me having been only a 11/12 for so many years. I would love to be that 13/14 NOW, as in one year I went up from 194 to 234, as I type I wear a size 18. I admit I want my life to be easier after this surgery having to NOT worry about my weight once its under control. I am not a fat person by nature. My being is not about weight.My life is not about weight anymore. Anyone that knows me knows I am a very busy person. I am beginning to feel the emotional and behavioral problems that I can RE-ASSOCIATE to gaining this weight and it REALLY SUCKS.
What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?
For me its the whole package. I won't date when I'm heavy and I date a lot. I'm a good looking girl. I feel well, not insecure, but not completely open about myself to a guy when I'm overweight. I can't or should I say won't wear anything I want, AND THAT HURTS ME A LOT BECAUSE I'M A FASHION FANATIC. I hate feeling like I'm OUT THERE when I'm in public. Like I'm on display. I feel like people are looking at the 'fat girl' (ALTHOUGH PEOPLE I KNOW THAT HAVE SEEN ME GET FAT TELL ME I DON'T LOOK AS FAT AS I THINK I AM WHICH IS NICE BUT I STILL FEEL LIKE THE POWDER BOY FROM GHOSTBUSTERS WHEN I WALK). I love sex, and feel very insecure naked. I am ugly when I'm fat naked and there is no nice way to put it. Who wants to look at all that? I don't. I'm grateful to be healthy and NORMAL. But it is unattractive to see someone overweight unclothed. Period. THat is the worst part for me.