RaeRae1

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Obesity & Me

Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.

I really think that I have been in denial for many years regarding my weight. It's hard to tell exactly when I thought of this as being a battle. I've always been fat. I grew up in a very small town where most of the girls were very thin. I had a couple of things going on: I was the only African American girl in my school and I was fat. Well needless to say, the fact that I was the only black girl in my class did not cause me any issues while growing up, the fact that I was fat, however, did. I remember when I was in the 8th grade, we had to do this presidential physical fitness in gym class. I remember that they weighed us in first, out in the open where everyone could see. I didn't want to get on that scale but I had to. No one else seemed to have a problem with it. All of the skinny little girls got on the scale and were seemingly fine. When it came to me, the other kids looked away. I think that they sensed my shame. I've always been short so at 14 years old, about 4'10, I weighed 140 pounds. What I wouldn't give to weigh 140 pounds now!!! That doesn't seem so bad now. For my height at that time, I think that I should have weighed about 15 pounds less. I wish that I would have known then what I know now, Weight doesn't move if you don't move. Well it moves but it moves up.... I've been on every diet imaginable: Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, soup diet, grapefruit diet, starvation diet, health cookie diet, etc, etc. Have I lost weight? Of course I have. The most weight lost, 35 pounds on weight watchers. I just couldn't keep it off. It's a like a roller coaster for me. Just when I feel like I'm doing good and I'm seeing results, I sabatoge myself. Just recently, I began to ask myself what are the reasons for me spiraling out of control. Did something happen to me when I was a child that makes me turn to food? As a child, was I psycologically or physically harmed so that I feel the need to turn to food for comfort? I mean what's wrong with me? Well after thinking long and hard, I have to say NO. I'm the baby of my family, I grew up in a two parent home with my 2 brothers and my sister. I was loved, cared for and protected. I don't have any horror stories of being physically or sexually or verbally abused. We weren't the richest people in our town but my parents provided a good home with good Christian ethics and beliefs. I had the usual growing pains: homework, friends, hair, make up worries, prom date, first boyfriend, first kiss, getting caught stealing a bag of M &M's by mom (very scary stuff, never did it again!!) So what is it that caused me to balloon from 140 pounds at the age of 14 to 275 pounds at the age of 35? The answer is simple: I love to eat. I feel as if I have no filter when it comes to food. In my mind, I exercise. I plan my work out. I see myself walking, jogging, running. I'm one of those people who watches the Biggest Loser, while eating ice cream or potato chips you get the picture? I admit it, there is a disconnect between me wanting to lose weight and me actually doing what it takes to lose the weight. Besides, everyone in my family was "heavy" so it seemed normal to me. That's my struggle!!!

What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?

Although I have a pretty high self esteem, there are areas where I do feel inadequate. There are a few "worst things" about being overweight. I'll list them... 1. I cannot cross my legs. 2. I cannot put on shoes, socks, nylons without sitting on the side of the bed, huffing and puffing. 3. I can never really get comfortable while sitting. 4. I lean a lot when standing (against a wall, over a chair etc.) 5. I am bigger than my husband a. He cannot pick me up(even though he did last week when I fell. Must have been reflex!!) b. I cannot wear his pajama tops (a definite goal of mine) c. I sometimes feel sexually limited (lot of body here) 6. Health Issues 7. Dunlap disease (My stomach "done lapped" over my pants/skirts,body...) 8 Frankly, just living in a society where "thin is in" and Fat is Whack.

How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?

I've always heard about bariatric surgery from it's early days. I have an uncle who had his stomach stapled about 20 years ago. It seemed barbaric at the time and I didn't get it. I was also only 15 and was under the impression that i would lose my baby fat before I went to high school therefore not having to stoop to such measures as my uncle....

Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?

My insurance process was WAY easy. After submitting all of my documents, my doctor's office called and gave me a date for the surgery. 2 days later, I received my approval letter in the mail.

What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?

My first meeting with my surgeon was great!! Dr. Richi is very precise and to the point. He is a very serious doctor who expects all of his patients to take this process very seriously. He feels that it is a waste of his time and yours if you are not mentally prepared for this journey.

What made you finally decide to have the surgery?

My weight began to take a toll on my body. For all of my life, I've always prided myself on being the "Big girl with no health issues". It seems as soon as I turned 35, all sort of things began happening. My knees hurt, my back hurts ALL of the time, I'm tired all of the time, I don't sleep well, the list goes on and on...

How did you decide which proceedure to have?

I attended a seminar where my father, who had RNY surgery a year ago and another man who had the lap band spoke. My father lost (at that time) over 120 pounds. The other gentleman who had the lapband had only lost 50 pounds in that same period of time. I just opted to go with the surgery that would best suit me and my weight loss goals.

What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?

I was terrified. Although I made a certain peace with it, when it came down to the day of surgery,, as I was waiting to go into the Operating room, I freaked out and started crying. I thought that I would never see my husband again and the rest of my family. Thankfully, after much prayer and some nice sedation, I was fine. I would tell people that it is ok to afraid but they have to just face the fear and realize that the risk of the surgery is worth it as it will save your life.

How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?

My family was supportive from beginning right through post-op. They are very happy for me and look forward to my new healthy life.

How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?

My supervisor was a little surprised but she was happy because I have been missing a lot of time out of work due to sickness. I am currently out of work and will be so for another 4 weeks.

What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?

My stay in the hospital was fine. I had a great team of nurses, nurse aides and student physican assistants. My surgery was on a Monday and I was home by Wednesday. It's a waste of time to bring anything to the hospital. I had essentials like toothpaste, toothbrush, books to read etc. Never even opened the bag until I was going home. The hosptial provides everything you need.

Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?

Thankfully no complications.

In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?

After I got my surgery date, I felt really good. My surgery was about 2 months off so I had a lot of time to just think and research and come on OH and get advice. I coped with the anxiety by praying, coming to OH and talking to my dad who had WLS a year ago. My husband is also a big supporter and he helped me out a lot.

Describe your first few weeks home from the hospital. What should people expect from this period?

I am in the 3 week of being home from the hospital. The first couple of days were rough because I still had a drain and my incisions were a little sore. I couldn't sleep very comfortable and the liquid diet started to become a bit much. I was not hungry at all but the Protein that I was drinking was not a good taste. I was also very tired the first 2 weeks. I walked and sipped, walked and sipped and slept.

How far did you travel to have your surgery? (If far, how did this affect your aftercare?)

The hospital is less than 1 mile from my home. Very close.
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Before & After
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