andee87

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Obesity & Me

Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.

First and foremost, I am an emotional eater. I have an overwhelming need to eat and eat a lot. I get sad and I eat a box of cereal (no kidding). I am happy and I eat a cake (yes, a whole cake). I have a hole inside me most of the time that feels better when it is full. The problem is that the hole is never full. I go through cycles of throwing out all of the bad food, set up a routine, log my food and than POW I am obsessed and find myself in the drive-through at KFC buying a bucket of chicken just for me followed by a dozen cookies or cupcakes. Just thinking about it makes me want to go. All of my accountability is gone and I am lost in the flavor and feel satisfied while I am stuffing myself. Than an hour later I feel ashamed! I can't talk to anyone about it because it is such a disgusting thing I do. I feel like since I eat this way exercise is a waste of time. If I walk for an hour I won't even put a dent into what I have done to myself so I don't do that either. I loathe myself for not being stronger and my family is at a loss on how to help me.

What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?

The worst thing about being overweight is the inability to play with my grand kids or even hold them on my lap. I want to interact and be part of their lives. The most heartbreaking day of my life was when my grandson (5 years old) said, "grammy, you are too round and I don't want to lose you so can you try to be less round."

If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?

I am still an emotional eater, I loose some battles but with my WLS I am winning the war. My lap band is an amazing tool that signals me when I have eaten enough. It is only part of my journey as I am an emotional eater. I could easily eat past the past the point of being full with no regard for my personal safety. Personal safety does not have a place in my emotional eating, nothing does. As well as the surgery I have identified my triggers and have a plan I put in motion when I feel the need to eat. My grandson is thrilled his grammy is not so round. I can run with him. We even go to the jumpy castle. He is amazed that I can bounce with him and climb up the slide. I exercise regularly, even when I slip and eat too much. That I am going to eat too much is my reality, I will from time to time. The difference for me is that it is not everyday, it is once in awhile. When I do overeat it is one extra cookie instead of a dozen, or an extra piece of pizza instead of a whole pie. Yes, I eat pizza and cookies once in awhile but not all of the time. I enjoy veggies (green smoothies rock!) and I do a lot of protein drinks. I want to run a 5K and it is an achievable goal for me now, which if you knew me you would know miracles are possible and anyone can succeed with the proper motivation.

ARE YOU READY TO PAY IT FORWARD & SHARE YOUR JOURNEY? Your journey will help highlight the many ways weight loss surgery improves lives and makes a difference in our families, communities and world. EACH JOURNEY COUNTS as a voice towards greater awareness.

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