Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.
Prior to wieghtloss surgery, I was depressed and did not participate in a lot of activities. I was a very friendly person but inside I was crying. I wanted to be out there and did socialize but still always felt withdrawn. I never ate big in public. In High School I never got in the lunch line to carry a tray to obtain lunch. I was embarrassed to eat in front of people for fear the may remark about my weight. Granted I carried the weight well - but inside the cruel feeling I placed upon myself was very dark.. Clothes shopping was a hide and seek for me. I would have to go to larger sizes and was left out of fads because of size. Other than dancing - I feel I missed out on a lot of activities that could have been fun. I dieted - worked out- gained and gained till It got out of control and the pounds piled on.. I could not stop it - I was trapped. Obesity then took over my physical condition- high blood pressure- borderline diabetic. Obesity had my heart- mind and also caused sever depression that lead to medication. IT GOT ME- emotionally and physically.
THen one day I had enough and researched bariatric surgery.
What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?
The worse part of being overweight is the weight of being self conscious. I sat in the back- I stayed out of the lime light. On the outside people saw my kind and fun personality - they did not hear the cries I carried inside. I felt alone and embarrassed. I was the Heavy girl with the Beautiful face! That hurt and so did comments like she is so pretty if should could only loose weight. I carried a disability of obesity emotionally and physically and no one understood the world I was in in my head. It was like having a ball and chain that said you cannot do that your fat- overweight.
I hated the scale! Of course I would at 5 foot 5 inches and 285lbs.
If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?
I enjoy feeling alive! I am not depressed - I do not mind people saying I look good. I am more confident. I love wearing a bikini. I love going to a store and their are plenty of sizes for me. I can sit and cross my legs. I can participate in social events without feeling withdrawn. I can put myself out there and be heard.. I love getting up and anything I put on is not 2 hours of trying on things on and getting sweated up. I can fly and use one seat and the seat belt fits. I will jump on the scale at any time and anyone can view it without me having anxiety. I NOW EAT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE! Eating is not so personal and I am not alone eating. I can socialize freely and sound off my opinions without worrying if anyone would listen cause I was fat. I love life and do gardening- dance when I can- I can throw a t-shirt- shorts and feel good. I am not so concerned about what people see when the look at me. I AM CONFIDENT now and I FEEL ALIVE! Today eight years later I am 153;bs. Still determined to get to 143lbs...
Pattiann
