Finding True Love At An OH Event
October 23, 2012
OH SUPPORT GROUP LEADER SPOTLIGHT
Finding True Love At An OH Event
There are many benefits that ObesityHelp extends to our support group leaders. In my many years of working for OH’s Support Group Leader Program, I didn’t know one of those benefits could be finding true love. I would like to share with you the love story of two of our leaders, Tonimarie Miller and Donald Babiarz.
Here is their beautiful story, as shared by Tonimarie...
On October 23, 2009, Don Babiarz and I attended the Rye Brook, NY OH Event. Don only decided two weeks before the conference to go. I decided a month prior to attend. Even though it would be an expense that I had not budgeted for, this was for me. We both had bariatric surgery to live a healthier lifestyle. Both of us, separately, knew we needed to go and find out information that would help us continue to be successful. Don and I were active on separate forums and had not met online. Another OH support group leader coordinated with other OH support group leaders to meet at the OH Event.
On the Friday prior to the event, the OH leaders went to lunch to get to know one another. It was after lunch that the sequence of events led Don and I to later realize there was something there between us (fate). We met a few times in the parking lot or in the elevator. Each time we met, even though we hardly talked to each other at lunch, we were comfortable and talked while we walked or were on the elevator. Friday night at the costume party, Don walked over to me realizing I was standing alone. I was holding a table while my friend went to get food. We talked and after a little while Don asked me if it was okay to go back to his friends. I thought to myself, “Wow that was so nice of him to ask me that.” I realized what a gentlemen he was. We saw each other during the rest of the event and spent time with the groups together.
Once we returned home, Don asked to be friends with me on Facebook. I accepted his friend request. We did not talk after we became friends. Some of my friends, along with another OH support group leader, encouraged me to talk to Don and become friends. I wasn’t sure I wanted to pursue becoming involved with him because he lived upstate and I was not interested in a long distance relationship. My friends continued to encourage me to talk with Don. Without knowing, my friends were encouraging Don to talk with me. Finally, I broke the ice. I sent Don an instant message which led to us talking every day. We would talk for hours, sometimes for seven or eight hours until the wee hours of the morning.
On November 14, 2009, Don came down for an event our support group was having. We arranged to meet for dinner and then to go over and meet the support group members at the event. When I arrived at the hotel to pick up Don, he had a dozen roses and a card for me. We went to dinner and it just felt right from that moment on. We had a wonderful time then and every time we are together. That was the start to our relationship and our engagement. On April 29, 2010, Don proposed to me in Florida in front of my parents. It was an amazing time for all of us, especially me. By the way, of course, I said “YES” to his proposal. Don and I were married on July 2, 2011.
As OH support group leaders, we take our new chance on life as a commitment to help others on this journey. Not only do we attend meetings twice a month, we help those investigating bariatric surgery by helping them understand how important the surgery is for health reasons.
There are so many benefits to having surgery. One of the best benefits Don and I have our mutual support. Don told me, “I want to find someone to marry who had the surgery and understands all the aspects of post-op living including the diet and physical appearance.” I never thought it would be me. As Don puts it, “We keep each other honest.” We make sure to eat protein at every meal, even when snacking. We exercise at least a few times a week, and take our vitamins, iron and calcium. He started taking care of me before we got engaged by supplying me with the iron and calcium supplements from Bariatric Advantage. I was having an issue with the iron agreeing with me and could not find calcium chews I liked. Once, he had me try them and I was able to take them he made sure I had enough daily.
Don and I cook for each other and try new recipes when we can. The latest recipe we tried was one in OH Magazine for Zucchini Meatloaf. We both really enjoyed it. We also walk every time we are together. We take walks around a lake in Long Island, a park in Rome, and Mall walk at each location. In April, we completed a 5k Heart Walk in Utica, NY, and in May, we did another 5k Walk for Obesity on Long Island. We were so proud walking together as post-ops and doing 3.1 miles.
I know the love and care we share will last a lifetime. I hope more OH Support Group Leaders and members find what we have. I know there are other members that have met and are starting their lives together as well. Don and I want to say “thank you” to ObesityHelp.
 | ABOUT THE AUTHOR Cathy Wilson, PCC, BCC, had RNY surgery in 2001 and lost 147 pounds. Cathy is a regular contributor to the OH Blog and authored the "Mind Matters" column in ObesityHelp Magazine. Cathy is a licensed pilot and loves flying. She is a member of the American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery (ASMBS) and the Obesity Action Coalition (OAC).Read more articles by Cathy! |
