fighting the weight fight

on 2/24/12 8:40 pm - colchester, CT
RNY on 03/30/04 with
ok so there are certainly harder things to fight then weight but this is what has consumed me for most of my lifetime.
i willnever give up!
right now i write down each thing that i eat each day. tracking calories it is what is helping me to not continue to gain.
am i obsessed?
but not to the extent that i am doing foolish things like not eating. thats not an option for me. gotta eat every 2 to 3 hours or the low blood sugar messes me up so yeah i am obsessed.
if i don't eat i get sick. if i eat i gain weight. hummmm this is my insanity! LOL
i loveit when the scale goes down. i hate it whenit goes up but as long as it maintaines i'm moderately happy! with weight anyways. other parts of mylife are great.
my boyfreind is taking me to a very nice winery this weekend for their ultra classey event! its a wine makers dinner. catered fancy dress ball like atmosphere. looking forward to it very much.
i have 5 fancy dancy dresses in my closet.
one is from my lowest. sure i shoud take that out but i love that dress and i have a dream tht someday i might be able to wear it again!
two is from my next to lowest size. awwww what a beaufiul dress. i wore that one to my daughters wedding. i felt fabulous in it. wont part with it.
three is my fancy new years eve dress that i wore for yes 4 new years eves it is the middle sized that i maintained the longest before i because sick with the low blood sugar.
then four is a new one that i bought in a moment of omg this is lovely never wore it thank god i didn't pay much for it. its too tight. it shows the rolls no spanks will squeeze them in enough so i keep it cause i i lose the 15 extra i'mcarrying it will fit great. it could be my new years eve dress of the future!
the last is my one and only designer dress. got it on a clearance rack in a small shop in mystic it is very pretty flowy style dress. with a scoop neckline decorated with beautiful tiny beadwork black the beadwork is a dark gray i'm not describing it good but i like it very much and feel pretty in it. it acents my neck and shoulders and while the boobs aren't big it highlights them and takes away from the pear shape hippy tummy with the gentle flow. its below the knee. the material is something i'venever had or seen since. it was worth every penny of its original price i'mthrilled that i got it for a quarter of what it would have been.
this dress is one that i can wear now with the extra weight and later when i lose.
i'm positive that i will lose that 15.
the change i have now is my attitude.
in the past i think i depended too much on the surgery thinking that o i have a small stomach. yes for the most part that worked. but when you ave to eat as many times during the daytimne that i do its alittle hard to keep the calories were they need to be.
my job is one where i' on the road all day drivin to customers then speaking its in and out andin and out most times i can not take time to pull off the road to eat a salad my lunches and snaks need to be finger foods. i need my protein and a good carb. so grapes and chees sticks rolled up sliced meat something that i can grab from my ice chest and snack on.
then i need to keep things tht will boost my sugar right away if i should crash.
a crash will hapen to me when i sometimes get very exctied. the addreniin pumps so if i score a great sales then i' get so thriled tht it spikes then it drops so i better have that with me. trust me i've got it all down pat. i'm getting to be an expert! hahaha
everyone is different so foods effect each of us with this differently. i can't eat yellow bananas too much sugar but my friend uses them for hers wthout any problems. she can't tolarate seedless grapes those are my helper food.
forget about white anything - bread potatoes rice too much sugar. sweet potatoes are ok for me as long as i do not over cook them.
watermelon - love it can't eat it.
i do treat myself on sundays with a decaf coffee with cream. other than tht too many calories and the slight decaf that is in it sets me off so i keep it to my treat on sunday.
blah blah blah not sureif anyone is reading this post is as much for me as anyone who mght be dealing with low blood sugar.
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