I so understand your plight. Yes, I'm 2 years post op and have gained 23 lbs. back from my lowest weight. I still wanted to lose 20 more pounds, now I have 43 to lose. My same habits are creeping back in, too. Very frightening, isn't it? We went through so much to get the surgery and during and after surgery, too. I had the Rou-en-Y. Did you? I keep walking to the fridge and opening the door and staring in. It takes tremendous effort to shut that door and walk away. I've been grabbing a big glass of water lately instead and that seems to be helping. I just started walking 2 miles a day and am hoping that exercise will also lower my appetite. If you are trying to conceive, I'm sure the stress isn't helping. Try to relax and not worry or obssess about conceiving. I went through that, as well, when I was younger. I remember how emotionally frustrating the roller-coaster of emotions were. Am I pregnant? Damn, I'm not. Am I? Damn I'm not. Such huge emotional struggles in getting pregnant. It can only help you to relax for both limiting weight gain and making you more fertile with less stress. Hang in there! Try walking to reduce the stress. I also find that reading helps. It's difficult to worry about something when you're reading. You're mind can only focus on the book.
Take care, sweety. You will be fine and who cares about the other 30 pounds you lost an amazing amount of weight!!!! I only lost 90.