ALL THIS ATTENTION - Are You Tired Of It Yet ????

Hi All! I went to 6 Christmas parties during Dec. and cannot believe all the attention!!! Most of the people hadn't seen me since last Christmas - many did not know it was me. My best friend went to my work Christmas party with me and seems a little upset now at all the positive attention I am getting. She is gorgeous and always got all the attention before - I weighed 120 lbs. more than her! Now I only weigh 20 lbs. more than her and she is acting a bit funny about that! People were paying me lots of compliments - calling me skinny ( I'm really NOT though - I still weigh 170 lbs!) want to lose at least another 20 lbs. - but she ended up asking me if I'm tired of all the attention yet??? Is she serious??? Not yet I'm not! I was obese my entire life and only got negative attention - so why should I feel guilty about basking in some positive attention for a change? I'm kinda surprised at the reaction of some of my long time girl friends though - some won't say a word to me now - some have NEVER mentioned my weight loss. Geesh - I've lost 100 lbs. and they haven't said a word! Kinda weird! I'm NOT a threat to any of them - I've been married to my husband 25 yrs. and haven't gone crazy - I dress VERY modestly - just more stylish now. My male friends are much more apt to give a compliment than most of my female friends. I never acted jealous of my thin friends when I weighed 270 lbs. - what's up w/them now???? This is all new to me - this seemingly jealous rivalry now. I'm not doing ANYTHING to them - I just walk in a room now and because I LOOK better than I used to they're shunning me! I never acted like that to them before. Anyone else experiencing any of this???

Oh yes I have one friend in particular that we used to do everything on my weekends off like go camping and they would come over to the house or we would just go out sometimes but since I had my surgery she doesn't even hardly speak to me. The last time she seen me which had been a while from the time before instead of being happy for me all she said was "well you look different" Her husband is my boss at work and when she calls to talk to him she just asks if he is there and that is the end of our conversation. Her husband is a lot more friendly than she is and says that I am doing great with the weight loss. She did tell me before I had my surgery though that she was jealous. I am like you though not tired of all the attention just yet. Kylie

Sandy, isn't it funny how other people react to something that is so personally about you? I am fortunate that my closest work friends have been very supportive - they have truly been wonderful. There are other more distant friends/acquaintances that have made catty comments - things like - wanting to lose weight "the hard way" or "the real way" and not like I did it. You know they are just jealous but they still are hard to deal with. Why can't they just be happy for us? Remember that you did this for you and no one else! Their problems are their problems. My biggest issue has been with my best friend who is heavy - a big part of our bond was shopping together and frankly just being fat together. She has had a very hard time with my weight loss. She doesn't want surgery which is of course her choice, but it has been a real struggle for her to come to terms with our redefined relationship. She's doing better, though. We've been able to talk about it and that helps... And no, I am not tired of the attention yet either! Loving it!

Holy Cow Lisa! I looked at your profile and you look 20 yrs. YOUNGER w/your weight loss!!!!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS - you look AWESOME!!!!! Bet you feel 20 yrs. younger too! Lots of people tell me I look 20 yrs. younger also. And boy does it feel GOOD!!!! I thank God for this new lease on life!!! Happy New Year!

Oh yes, I have definitely experienced these things. One thing I tried to remember is that I gave out the message for years, "Don't notice me, and definitely don't say anything about my body." We've changed our bodies, but we've also kind of changed the rules on them. I think my former eating buddies, including my husband, are having the most difficulty. In particular, I have a friend and former eating buddy who had gastric bypass and lost a great deal of weight. She helped persuade me to have my surgery. While I was losing, she was regaining weight and is obese again. Things are VERY uncomfortable between us now. There is a lot about how our weight loss affects relationships with others in THE EMOTIONAL FIRST AID KIT by Cynthia Alexander, PsyD. I recommend it.

Hi JoAnne, I had my surgery on 12/16/05 and have lost a little over 100 lbs. and very happy with it. What you said about your friend gaining weight after surgery really got my attention. That scares me to death. I am having trouble with wanting to eat more and am scared that I will gain weight again. Has your friend been able to get her weight gain under control again? I hope so.

Unfortunately, no. And the knee that was pretty good when her weight was down has to be replaced now.

Until last night I thought every one was happy for me. A person that saw me when I first started saw me for the first time since around May. They were so quiet I just thought maybe they didn't feel well. Well another person whispered in my ear "so and so is pissed because you lost so much weight" That took me aback. I guess you never really know who a true/real friend is. I would have never thought this of this person.