Long - beating myself up/update/needing a little bit of support

Hi Everyone, It's been a long time since I posted last - finally bought our home a week before Christmas - I am working at a new job and just blessed to see another day. I am calling out for some support from all the Dec Babies - I believe that I am 202 lbs havn't seen the scales since the first week of the new year - happy to fit in a size 14 - haven't been in a size 14 since I was 14 but got very scared today because I ate ALOT. I mean We went to KFC for lunch And I had mac & chesse, mashed potatos and a wing oh and a biscut - I know stay away from the evil carbs - I was so freaked out that when I got back to work I started to cry - no one at my new job knows about the surgery - so to them it was just normal but I am really nervous - I told my husband and he even confided today that I have been eating alot more lately - so tomorrow I am going back to the basics - going to the heath store and getting back on the shakes - not to say that I never made it to my 1 yr dr'd visit - I remembered how me made me feel the last time I saw him - I mean I am actually happy where I am today from my heaviest 319 - sure I would love to make it to 175 and I will on my own terms - I know that this is a tool that we have and that we make the choices but I also wanted to live like I was not on a diet - please don't flame me on that one - but i am being honest - yes I know don't complain about not loosing weight if you're not eating the right things - but that's just it - if I never loose any more I am content. But I am making a new comitment - the gym @ work opens at 5:30 ( I will be eligible (spelling?) on the first to join - and I will try my damnest not to eat any bagels - even if I only can eat half - i should have it at all -Thanks for reading just needed to vent a little. ttfn Jo

I know how you feel, my husband took me aside the other day and told me he had noticed I was eating more than usual, my first reaction was to get defensive, but I thought about it and then thank him for waking me up. I am at 214 from 417 day of surgery, and I sure don't want to mess up all the hard work I have done. I am dreaming of getting out of these 200's and the only way is to keep up the hard work we know how to do. So like you I am getting back to the basic's. That is what is so great about this website.. it is so great to be able to comunicate with other people going thru the same struggles... We can do it.. so stay positive, you have come so far. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress. Lynn

Thanks Lynn - yep - also got defensive - wow - great job Lynn - it's a great place to see that you are n ot alone - because no matter how much support you have at home - everyone gets you here - thanks Jo

Its getting hard for every one I think. My problem and I am sure it is for others. The water in take. Which helped keep us full longer. Thats fine when you are at home and not on a JOB!!!!! You just can't run to the bathroom every 15/30 minutes. They want to know if you are sick? No? Then why are you ALWAYS going? I was doing really good at least what I thought was good. I eased, no, I snacked back up to 172. I don't have problem being there but I know I could be 160 now it I didn't let my hands over load my mouth which is over loading my aicesssss. In my other post I talked about being a coupon queen again. Well I know that is a big down fall for me. I realized it and I am getting on a better track with that. Sure it was good to get bags of Chex Mix for 50 cents but not when I AM the one eating all of it. I need, no, I WILL leave the snack coupons alone and get whats really needed in the home and only healthy stuff. I am saving my purse strings but getting way off track with my snacking. I know this was my problem. I am a snacker. I don't stop and eat meals. I want to walk around with what I call finger foods. Ok lets get up and try it again. At least we are admitting we messed up. So lets go back to rehab and come back out the next day and say we look fabuLESS