Relationship question?

For the DSers who were in a committed relationship before surgery... has the surgery changed your relationship with your significant other?  Do they feel threatened by the fact you are/ have loosing weight and changing your apperance?  Do they support your choice?  What differences have having this surgery made on your relationship?

I am happily married for 12 years to a man who has supported me though out many weight stages of my life. 

 I'm interested in this also, my hubby and me just celebrated our 11Th anniversary a couple of days ago, I'm expecting for our relationship to change, I'm hoping for the best.  I'm sorry I dont have any info for you but just wanted to let you know that there's someone else with the same concern.

The surgery hasn't changed things one bit, but the relationship was strong from the start. The only thing that is different is that hubs learned is how serious and dedicated I am to getting healthy so I can have his kids, live long enough to raise them and grow old with him.

I've been married 11.5 years, and my husband has loved me even when I haven't loved myself. I have been fat since about age 10, so I have no clue what my adult "normal" body will be when I finally peel away the layers I've hidden under for so long. So needless to say he has no clue what he will be the proud "owner" of when my transformation is finally over. But one thing I know for sure is that no matter where the needle on my scale finally stops, I will be loved. OH and this may be TMI...but even just the 60 pounds I've lost since April 1st have made a difference in the bedroom. Sooooo...I know there is much, much, much more to look forward too, and I'm sure there will be for you too!

Oh yep, yep yep yep. Wifely duties don't feel like duties anymore, it's much more fun without all the weight getting in the way

I have been married for 8 years. We were good before and w eare good now, granted only post op over a year, but I'm at goal. He does feel threatened that I will leave him but I leave him absolutely no reason to think that and that makes him feel better. I go out of my way to spice things up, he lets me be me.

I don't know if info is worth anything bc I see a lot of post ops have marriage problems like 3 years post op, etc. So maybe I'm not at the rough part yet. Fingers crossed that i"m not.

and he has been with me through the weight stages. I was a 14 when we met and weight up to 370 pregnant. I'm a 10 now.

 It's anecdotally stated here on OH that WLS makes a good relationship better and a weak relationship worse.   I was in a cohabitating relationship of seven years when I had my WLS.   It was an extremely dysfunctional relationship, and my family had begged me for years to leave him.   When I lost the weight, he began to realize at some level that he no longer had an advantage over me, and I became less willing to put up with his antics.   He told me I'd gotten "meaner" since I'd lost weight, but truly, I had gotten stronger.   I finally ended the relationshp approximately a year and a half post-op.    I have since remarried, to a man who has only known me small.  He insists that he would have loved me just the same heavy, and has seen many pictures of me as a bigger woman.   My current smaller size has no impact on this relationship whatsover, except for thta perhaps I'm more willing to self-advocate, which I think only generates more respect from not only him, but other people in my life.

I'm going to put in my 2 cents along with Julie. WLS makes a good marriage stronger and exposes the weaknesses in a marriage that's already flawed. I was married for 9 years when I had my surgery. I moved out of our home right around my 1 year surgiversary. I became a stronger person and began to get my self-esteem back. When that happens, it changes the dynamics of a relationship and you're not as willing to put up with **** that you once would have overlooked.

Of course, this is not the case for everyone, but I knew going in that we didn't have a strong marriage and the likelihood of it ending was pretty good based on the stats from previous experiences that I had read about.

Hi. I have been married over 20 years and sometimes it has been a bumpy road. I think my marriage is doing better and better. My DH was not on board for a year or two, but as soon as I got his blessing, I had the DS. Glad he wasn't on board at first as I was going to have Lapband, then RNY, and while waiting, I learned about DS. I had major complications and he was by my side. He missed 3 or 4 weeks of work and then wasn't able to leave me for a 40 hour week for a while. If I had not had his blessing, I think all I would have heard is "I told you so...". We were unable to "be" together for a while due to my open wound, so when I started feeling better, It was like being on the honeymoon we never really had. I love being with my DH now. My body is not perfect, but I am so much more comfortable. He is proud of me. The ONLY downside we have and the only complaint he has is when I am weak and eat flour. It gives me terrible gas! Sometimes I do it JUST to **** him off! I think it is funny! I love him, and we have a lot of fun.

T

LOL! I call the gas "sweet revenge" for all the times I got trapped in one of my husband's "dutch ovens".... Now I'm the one laughing.