Eating Disorder - Yeah, I have one

A lot is "wrong" in my life.  I won't bore you with details but here's my abbreviated list:

- My home life sucks and I need out but...
- I can't afford to move out because...
- I'm not done with my degree yet, so...
- I can't get a higher paying job 
- The job I do have is far from challenging and they treat me like a hamster on a wheel

My hormones are going nuts.  I have been spotting for a week even though I finished my period 2 weeks ago.  

And this isn't a new situation; I've been living with this for a long time now and I might have hit my breaking point because I'm so close to telling off anyone in my life that looks at me the wrong way.

I'm binging. I was alright the whole morning but around 3pm, I ate 3 ice cream sandwiches. 

I booked another session with my therapist tonight.  

Why am I posting this?  Because I need any flippin' help I can get and if you've gone through this, please post something to me to let me know that I am not the only girl in the world going through this. 

If you're going to food police me and tell me how I'm self sabotaging myself (**** I already know) just STFU right now and don't post.
 

(((((Janina)))))   I hate that you feel so trapped. Talking it out is a good thing.

--gina

You used the perfect word: Trapped.  I feel trapped.

I need the hugs.  Thank you!

 I am totally not the food police, but if it helps any, I find if I force myself to eat what I know I should, before I try to eat what I know I shouldn't, I simply don't have room for more. Does that make sense? I hope your world hits a place of calm soon. ((((Hugs))))

It does make sense but I honest to god feel like I don't have the strength to say  "wait a second..." to the bad foods.  I just don't have control.  Thank you for responding.  I appreciate the hugs.

Janina,
I have no words of wisdom, but I'm sending you cyber {{{{HUGS}}}}.
at various times in my life I have felt trapped too.

Thank you Gail.  I appreciate the support.  You're a true friend.

I bet your hormones are playing a bigger part in this than you realize..

hormone dump? perhaps you will be losing a chunk of weight... that always happened to me...

I TOTALLY understand about feeling stuck..  keep pushing girl.. your hard work will pay off... and don't be so hard on yourself!!!

Yeah you're 100% right.  I got off the phone with my therapist tonight and she said the same thing; that I beat myself up waaaaay too much.  I wish I could stop doing it all together but it's a process and a slow one at that.  Thanks for the hugs!

You need some peace in your soup.  Remember to breathe and take a step back whenever you feel an urge to put the smack down on someone.  I often think to myself, This too shall pass.