Help! I Looked Better When I Was Fat!

Cheryl G.
on 10/2/11 2:12 pm - Davenport, IA
Hello and Blessings,

I have a major issue that I've pretty much kept to myself for a good while now.  It concerns my sabataging my own weight-loss efforts due to my appearance - having loose skin and stretchmarks! I'm proud of getting healthier thru having had wls, and by following my doctor's diet and exercising program.  However, I'm embarrassed by how my body looks on the outside! If my body looks the way it does now after a 150 lbs weight loss, how is it going to look minus the remaining extra 75 lbs!  Exercise has done all it's going to do for my skin!   I've been using a whole host of creams, lotions, and potions to fade the stretchmarks.  Unfortunately there hasn't been much improvement!  I tell myself that looks really don't matter but now that I'm at a more socially acceptable weight and look pretty good in my clothes, men notice me and at times even approach me for my number!  I'm so insecure about my body that I run in the opposite direction!  Sometimes even literally!  

So lately I've been journaling and I had a real "Come to Jesus Meeting" with myself!  I've been subconsciously sabotaging my efforts to lose the remaining 75 lbs that I need to lose but blaming my inability to reach my goal on everything else!  I hope this doesn't sound too vain!  I never thought I'd care so much about something like this but my "fat" body actually "looked" better then my smaller body is turning out to look like!  Unfortunately I don't have the luxury of having plastic surgery at this point!  Any supportive words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated?  I just need to gain some perspective! 

Cheryl G. 

on 10/4/11 4:11 am, edited 10/4/11 4:12 am - STOCKBRIDGE, GA
Hey Cheryl,

I think we all have those I love me/hate me days. Even super models critisize themselves.

Your post reminded me of a quote from Ruby when she was on the Oprah Show. She said something along the lines of
    " You trade the fat for flab, and then trade the flab for scars [from plastic surgery], so you are never perfect."

That really resonated with me, because no matter how much you exercise, and even if you had all the money in the world for an extreme makeover, there will always be some kind of reminder of your once being fat, and you will always have some kind of flaw.

Now, you are likely to get some Pollyanna responses that you should be proud of your new body, and love yourself flab and all, yada, yada, yada, but let's be real.  It is bothersome whether it's a little flab and wrinkle, or your belly hangs to your knees.

I told my BF I wanted implants and washboard abs, and he told me I am insane. I guess I see something he doesn't. He thinks I look great. I guess we are all our own worst critics.

I wish I had a magic answer. You could try for plastics, maybe even finance it. Try auditioning for one of those makeover shows ???

One thing I've noticed dealing with a lot of wls ladies, is your face and body does seem to bounce back a year or two post op and that droopy, haggard look seems to mellow out some.  You are still "blooming" don't throw in the towel just yet.

               **** I AM AN OH SUPPORT GROUP LEADER ****
No dumping.  Highest percentage of weight loss, Best long term results,  Won't regain weight!  Eat normal sized meals,  96% diabeties, 90% high blood pressure, 80% sleep apnea cured.                                    I  MY DS!
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there were three other people.    ~Orson Wells  

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