Depressed

Hi there, I have been struggling  badly with depression lately, I know your all easy to talk to and understand where I'm coming from. I havent wanted to leave the house, dont want visitors and grouchy alot.

Im waiting for 2 more tests which are done in August and then I wait for a surgery date. When I talked to the therapist he asked me if I was willing to just do the Opti program and not have surgery.  I was almost ready to agree when he said my surgery wait could be 15 months longer. I dont want to wait that long, it seems so out of reach. Im 230 pds and 5'5. I am so confused on which step to take. Surgery is scary but so is failing the  Optifast program or gaining it all back, I cant imagine!

I have social anxiety on a good day, now I feel so fat and unattractive I dont want to be seen. I grew up in a small town which I still live in. I was always thin and attractive when I was younger, 3 babies later not so much:) Im embarassed to see people I went to school with because I know what they are all thinking.

Im attending my testing and therapy sessions at the Kingston Clinic but will have my surgery in Ottawa.
 
Thanks for listening,

Tricia:)

Awww, Trish. Hugs.

Are you on medication? if not, maybe that's something you need to consider. It's not shameful to do that, i'm on antidepressants, and i work in a psychiatric hospital.

You're a good person, i hope that you know that. You can do this, just try to talk to someone about how you're feeling, and get yourself feeling better. Try to get out into the sunshine and absorb some of that good vitamin d and feel good about yourself.

Hugs. hugs hugs hugs hugs.

mon

Thank you and yes I take Wellbutrin 300 mgs, however it doesnt seem to be working very well, usually I can cope. Im not a depressed person normally and I try and see the positive. I was taking Ciprilex with it and thats when I gained 25 pds:(

I'm like that oo, Trish, my friends (those who don't know that i suffer from depression) will tell you that i'm a VERY positive person.

Talk to your doc about switching your medication, there are ones that don't have weight gain as a side effect. I was on cipralex for a while, and felt kind of like a zombie on it, i felt nothing, no highs or lows, it was hell.

i'm taking cymbalta right now,a nd its working very well, i'm happy, and i'm sad appropriately, and its nice. no weight gain (not due to the med, anyway, as far as i can see).

Wellbutrin isnt the most effective, and not everything works for everybody the same.

there is one that will work for you. Exercise (and i'm not just saying this) does work to increase your endorphins, and getting out in the sunshine has been proven to be as effective as some antidepressants. So, honestly, if you can, get outside and walk.

oh, and by the way? you're attractive now. I can see from your avatar that you're a beautiful woman. You've got a gorgeous smile. I can see the love for your child in your face. You're a good person. you deserve to feel happy.

I agree about Ciprilex, I didnt care about anything including what I ate. It was werid. I had feelings for nothing. Ok, called my dr. hes off till next wk. I will call him next Monday. Im very good at communicating my feelings to my dr. and everyone else around me, my poor husband:)

Yes weight gain is such a fear for me with antidepressants, I learned the hard way.

good for you, Trish. A lot of those meds that work on your brain seem to do things to weight as well.

and communicating your feelings is difficult for some, i'm glad its not for you.

hugs again.

ohh thank you!  I have a huge support system, people tell me im attractive all the time, I however dont see it anymore. I try to see some good in myself but its been difficult. My husband tells me Im beautiful every day, that should do something.

you sound like you've got a good one. he listens to everythign and tell s you you're beautiful? wonderful.

he knows you're worth it.

 I can't help the depression part, but I was on "the list" in Atlantic Canada for bariatric surgery for almost ten years.  One day when I went to the pharmacy to refill my amyltriptilene (sp?) the new pharmacist says no, I can't possibly be on that dosage...  he called the doc and yup, I was.  That's when I realized I barely knew what day it was, nor that I cared!  That's when I started to take control.  
When I called the Halifax bariatric program to ask wtf, they said had no record of me, and I moved to Toronto about the same time so all I could say was, whatever!  It took me two years from start to surgery of sleep clinics, meetings, ekgs, angiograms etc, but it happened in Toronto!  And I'm now over 72 pounds off since May 28!  So the tunnel may seem really dark and too long to you right now, but there is light at the end of it!  Keep the faith, love your kids, do something for yourself every day and smile at every opportunity!  Sorry to sound like Mr Rogers, but I'm old and stuffy anyway!  LOL Regards, Ian  

lol, thanks Ian, its ok I liked Mr. Rogers:)  your right, Ive gone this far I can go longer.