lost an AH today, thought we were friends...

nata
on 2/22/13 6:29 am - Ottawa, Canada

Well, today I lost an "arse hole" that I thought was my friend.

A colleague of mine, who joined my company two years ago and used to have an afternoon cup of coffee with me almost daily... we had a little conversation today about the Wal-Mart store near by my house and he's telling me about his recent experience at this store, how he was waiting in line and there were three families of "super fat people with those disgusting fat children, all wearing sweat pants and buying ton of food..."

Now, this guy never saw me big (I'm over four years out), he only knows the "fancy Nancy on high hills" as friends call me...  You can guess my reaction. I asume I  won't have coffee-break company any more.

 

I just don't get it - why it bothers people... I cannot imagine something impressing me so much that I talk about it weeks later at work... well, maybe seeing a talking dog... I'll never understand the nature of this hate.

Nata, a very happy DSer!
Starting BMI - 62, current BMI - NORMAL!!!!!.

204 pounds lost!!!!
Amanda F.
on 2/22/13 6:43 am - Toronto, Canada
VSG on 01/10/13

What gets me is lately the most stylish "cause" is anti-bullying. Adults talk about how we need to end bullying in schools, yet they are the biggest offenders. Children learn bullying from their parents. It is a learned behavior. I pretty much assume anybody who is a bigot arsehole has a bad sex life and are venting.

Referral to Bariatric Program at TWH: 08/09/11     Orientation at TWH: 08/17/11                 Nurse Practitioner: 10/12/11
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Cuter_w_Curves
on 2/22/13 8:00 am - Oshawa, Ontario, Canada
VSG on 01/08/13

*snort* grape flavoured aquafina out the nose... thank you very much!

Bad sex life and are venting! BWAHAHAHAHA!

Dr Sullivan VSG Jan. 8th, 2013!
  Lost 100 lbs in a year post op with a VSG. 

   

(deactivated member)
on 2/22/13 6:44 am - Straford, Canada

Some people... and their children (imo this kind of prejudice comes often directly from parents)!  Time for a change in coffee partners for sure!  Put your sunglasses on and enjoy the rays!  

jellyfishattack
on 2/22/13 7:21 am - Canada
RNY on 03/11/13

I agree 110% with you & Amanda F.  If that guy didn't have something wrong with his own life, he wouldn't be so critical.  God knows how long he'd be talking about the woman I saw 2 years ago at a Walmart in only a small string bikini!  It was her lack of clothes that made me stare, not her size.  I had forgotten about the lady in the bikini until I read this thread. 

I am sorry, he must have hurt you a lot.  His comments probably hurt everyone on the forum.  But, he is an idiot.  I'll bet he goes to Walmart and buys junk food without a second thought too!  Maybe you should start leaving body building magazines around the office to make him feel inadequate... just kiddin'.

Jenn.  :)

 1st appointment - Feb. 23rd, 2012. RNY Dr Cyriac Mar. 11th, 2013.

  

       

   

Cuter_w_Curves
on 2/22/13 8:02 am - Oshawa, Ontario, Canada
VSG on 01/08/13

Sorry Jenn... that might have been me...

Wait... you said 2 years ago. Nope... It was 10 years ago I was in a Barrie Walmart in a string bikini top... But I was wearing a skirt (that covered something at least).

Dr Sullivan VSG Jan. 8th, 2013!
  Lost 100 lbs in a year post op with a VSG. 

   

Cuter_w_Curves
on 2/22/13 8:17 am - Oshawa, Ontario, Canada
VSG on 01/08/13

I've had moments where I have been frustrated by what I see in another cart. I will admit that... It is really hard for me to see 7 pizzas, 7 boxes of KD, and a few cases of pop with nothing reasonable in a cart when I see a child struggling with their weight accompanying the parents. Mainly because I want to help them...

That said... I've never been an AH about it and I often see a slim to mid size build parent with a child who is struggling and buying all junk. As often as I see an obese parent with a child struggling with their weight buying healthy food.

Yes I will also admit I have passed judgment in my head upon the carts of the "gym bunny" type wearing their workout clothing, and picking up 15 Arizona iced teas and a ton of crap food while they gush to their friend about leaving to go camping in the morning and how they are so glad they got all the goodies, and won't have to actually pretend to cook for a couple days outside of hot dogs and marshmallows.

That said... I'd never dream of making comments like that. Even if I do want to intervene when I see people doing dumb things with their childs nutrition. This is a HUGE issue for me.

I'm sure I have been judged many a time in the checkout line. I've certainly gone to the grocery store in my bummy clothing, and had a fat arse... But I guess that'll end soon enough. *eyebrow wiggle*

We went shopping at Walmart just today. Hubby drove as my car is still acting up. We were in the checkout. I loaded all the groceries onto the conveyor belt, and then stepped to the side. He gave me the "look" like... 'ok babe I wanna get past you' was going through his head so I said... "Go ahead! You can get past me." *grin* And he could!!

Question... Since "fat people" aren't suppose to wear "track pants"... Can I do my groceries at Walmart in my formal dress next time? I really do want to wear everything 1 last time.

Dr Sullivan VSG Jan. 8th, 2013!
  Lost 100 lbs in a year post op with a VSG. 

   

johjen
on 2/22/13 9:34 pm

When I see a cart full of "junk food"  I think to myself how unfortunate it is that parents can no longer afford to feed their children a well balanced diet.  And then I get on my soap box about how it is possibly cheaper to have a building full of well educated, well paid, scientists "create" food than it is to plant some seeds?? 

I dont get THAT...

But there have been times in my life when I could not afford a well balanced diet and Ill tell you... that sucks!

Oh I hope that some day life becomes more simple and people figure out how to get back to the basics before we completely destroy humanity!

DOWN WITH BOXED PIZZA!

Cuter_w_Curves
on 2/23/13 4:28 am - Oshawa, Ontario, Canada
VSG on 01/08/13

I actually use to think along those lines. Then I had to change how I bought food and in the process I learned something... It is far more expensive to buy the ready made, pre-packaged options. Literally night and day with some things, and others it is just little costs differences that add up.

The valuable commodity which makes a well balanced diet complicated is time.

The time it takes to make food. The time you have to consume fresh food before it expires. Time is a huge part of the equation.

Maybe I haven't always been able to have meat 7 nights a week but I could always count on fruits, veggies, eggs and tofu when I was broke as sin. It was and is my fall back.

The reason I say it is time and not finances is simple. Even if I use the sale rates I saw yesterday it is financially even to do premade or the other.

How much is a chocolate bar? Averaging 0.79 - 1.49 right?
How much for 2 Nectarines in the off season (expensive time of year)? 0.48 - 0.63 cents for both of them.

How much for a 10 pack of KD + the 4 bag of milk required to make it all? 16.87 + 4.39 = 21.26...
How much for 2 3-packs of peppers, 10 cans of plain tomato sauce, and 5 packages of pasta (rotini for example)? 1.99x2 (3.98) + 0.74x10 (7.40) + 1.77x5 (8.85)= 20.23... Not a peppers person? So skip them and buy milk.

I will also say that once we started using a box of cake mix to make 12 regular muffins, and 24 mini muffins... freezing the mini's for lunch snacks.. It went to 1-3$ for 12-15 snacks vs 2.97 for 6.

 

I don't often see the frozen pizzas, pop and KD in the cart of those keeping their grocery bill under 30$. I see a 70$ convenience food total for no more than 7 lunches, and 7 dinners... That is just how some people live. *shrug*

I really do agree with your "hope that some day life becomes more simple and people figure out how to get back to the basics" though.

I also wish that there was a "how to do healthy groceries on a budget" class in school.

Dr Sullivan VSG Jan. 8th, 2013!
  Lost 100 lbs in a year post op with a VSG. 

   

mona8
on 2/22/13 9:30 am - Kingston, Canada
I completely agree Shelley, anytime I see any parent with a cart load full of junk with nothing healthy included and are walking through a store with kids in tow it makes me crazy!! It's scary to me, mainly bc I have ALWAYS had weight struggles ( 1st time TOPS member @ 7 yrs old ) and I got anything but crap to eat when I was a kid.....so I wonder what will become of those children that have HFCS,fat, processed foods as staples in their diets. I don't condem these folks, I think we live in such a fast paced, busy, 2 parent working kind of world that these treats, conveniently lining every child height aisle in every store in North America, spell out simplicity and one area of life that we can legally and quickly poison ourselves.
Unfortunately your " friend " feels it's completely socially acceptable to make this type of stereotypical comment because obesity is society's last acceptable discrimination.

Ref- Aug 2011, Orient ( OWMC )- Nov 11, Transfer to Kingston- May 12, NP, DT,SW,H-pylori ( neg ), BW, Ab US,- Jul 12, NP return Aug 12 ( HBA1C 8.2 ), started insulin - Sept 12, Diabetic Opti Clinic-Jan 11 13 ( HBA1C 7.0 ), pre-op class- Feb 6 13, Surgeon Feb 22 2013 ( Dr. Hagen HRRH ), Dr. Glazier March 18 2013, PATTS Mar 12 2013, Opti Mar 21 2013 Surgery April 4 2013.

    

    
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