Patience and work

Kath L
on 4/29/15 6:56 am

I see a lot of people on here frustrated with the time lines for surgery.  I admit that I am getting anxious at this point because I am sure that this is the route for me to take.

I do have the opinion though that the surgery will happen when it is supposed to.  I have to trust in the journey and the process.

Initially I had a lot of questions and concerns about the process but I am thankful that there is this time period of waiting so that I am content with this big life-altering decision I am making.

Weight loss does not come instantly.  It never has.  It never will.  I have been on countless diets and have lost and eventually gained most of it back.  I didn't get this big in a short period of time and it will not come off quickly or without work.  

I see this surgery as a tool to keep me on track to lose the weight by following strict rules ... diet, exercise, etc.  I do know the possibility of gaining back after this ... so that is why I am content with the waiting time to gather all of the information possible and to truly be ready for this big change in my life.  

Of those people out there who have already had the surgery, do you feel that the wait was part of the preparation?  





on 4/29/15 8:13 am - Arnprior, Canada

Hi Kathy,

You are right, the time up until the surgery allows you to prepare for what you have chosen to do.  If you are not prepared, this tool wil not work as well for you.  And slipping back to old habits is easier.

I have two friends that had surgery before me.  Both went to the states (by the time I got to the point where they may have sent me to the states, funding was cut to go out of province).  But that was probably a good thing that I stayed in Ontario.  I have the support I need by staying.

As I was saying, one of my friends fully accepted the surgery as a tool, and continues to use the tool and work on his "new" lifestyle.  He's ever concious of what he ingests, and what activity he does to keep fit.  My other friend used the tool well for a while, then forgot that it was a tool an stopped using it.  She's gained a noticable amount of weight back.  She could start using the tool again, but she'll need to be in the right mindset, and be willing to really work to get on track, and work harder to stay on track.

I was about 18 months from Dr. referral to surgery.  But I needed the time to prepare.  I also believe in having the support available afterwards.  I've needed it and not all Drs. fully understand Bariatric Surgery or what we need post surgery.

Ottawa apparently is about 18 months from orientation at the moment give or take.  I know that some get in earlier in other places, but sometimes we need that extra time.  And the more prepared we are, the easier this journey will be.

If someone is really impatient, you can pay for yourself out of province.  But it still won't be a walk in and say that you want surgery and get it that day.  And then you may not have the support you need post surgery.

It may be a long wait, but this is a journey, not a jump into a magical well.  And it will take lots of work, time and patience, even after surgery.  Including being patient with your new tummy as you both discover what you like and don't like together.



on 4/29/15 9:24 am - Ontario, Canada
RNY on 01/20/12

Kathy I think you have a great attitude that will help you succeed. This surgery is not something to jump into. Yes I got tired of waiting but I learned a lot in that time. I also had time to make some changes. A lot of people look at the lead up appointments as just something to endure to get through. The appointments are important. Use the resources they give you and you will set yourself up with a great start.

Good luck in your journey





on 4/29/15 11:10 am

Hi Kathy, I'm only two weeks post-op, but I am extremely glad for the time that I had before my surgery.  It's important for everyone to remember that they do all of this to make sure you are physically and mentally in the best place you can be for the surgery.  When I found myself scared as my surgery date was approaching I was very comforted by remembering all of the tests they had done and the prep I had gone through  Everything that we do here (that isn't always done in the US) is to make sure that we are safe and as healthy as possible for this.


The mental preparation cannot be overstated.  This needs to become a reality for you, because the road to recovery can be bumpy emotionally.  I had a couple of very difficult days as soon as I got home, but using everything I remembered from my visits with the social worker and through support on this forum, I made it through it and am feeling happier every day.


Making the decision to have this is difficult, going through all of the preparation is difficult, waiting for your surgery date is difficult, and recovery is difficult, but it is all for the best.  This isn't the easy way out and people just need to hang in there at whatever stage they are at and think about what you are being asked to do and how it will help you succeed in the future.