Almost 12 years out , need help

Andy Lafferty
on 2/17/21 7:59 am - Baltimore, MD

I'm almost 12 years out from my Rny surgery and have gain almost 60 lbs. in 2 years . I'm struggling with obsessive compulsive eating. It started 2 years ago when my sister died of her MS. I didn't know how to grieve so I started eating to dull the pain. Kept the eating somewhat under control , but then a year later my mom died and it was off the the races with eating. I am having trouble controlling the compulsive eating and I've packed on 60 lbs. since my last weight in. Carbs and cheese are my biggest fails. Any advice would be really welcomed. I've come to far from being almost 600 lbs. and I really don't want to go back or die from unhealthy choices.

Thanks in advance for any advice.


The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

on 2/17/21 5:08 pm
RNY on 02/14/18

Sorry for your loss and all you are going through. Do you still have access to your programs recommendations? Have you talked with anyone for grief counseling or help with your compulsions? The head stuff is the hardest stuff! You can definitely develop a good program for food and exercise and there are lots of different approaches, if you search here for regain, you may get a feel for what might work for you. Also, come to the menu thread, I get ideas for good food choices from everyone's menus and it helps me stay motivated!

good luck!

HW: 306 SW: 282 CW:144.8 GW: 145 (reached 2/6/19), next goal - 132.9


on 2/19/21 1:25 am, edited 2/18/21 8:18 pm
DS on 08/13/18

My condolences for your losses, but I understand that's not really why you are here. You've got an issue that we need to tackle and it's not a monumental one - yet. It's a problem you will resolve relatively easily in the next ~6 months and be done with it.

Have you figured out what your BMR and your TDEE are? How many calories you consume daily just doing what you do?

Have you established how many calories you need to consume to create a deficit of 500, or better yet, 1000 calories per day (-2 lbs./week)?

Do you know how many ounces you need to consume to become satiated?

Gathering this information is where I would start. Cheese and carbs aren't in and of themselves your problem - your problem is consuming too many total calories over and above your calorie expenditure.

You say you've gained 60 pounds in 24 months. I doubt you gained at a consistent rate over 24 months. Maybe the majority of that weight was gained over the past year, or even maybe the last six months, but just for argument's sake we'll assume you did gain consistently over the past two years.

Sixty pounds equates to 210,000 calories, or 8,750 excess calories per month over 24 months.

This equates to you consuming about 287 excess calories per day, every day, over the past 2 years, over your total daily energy expenditure (TDEE). Again, assuming this is accurate and consistent over the past 24 months (doubtful), 287 calories per day is the crux of your problem. A measly 287 calories is why you are here requesting help.

Thats about one cheese sandwich, or a Starbucks latte, a couple of 12 oz. full sugar sodas, etc.

Some would recommend that you start logging a food diary of what you're eating now to make adjustments. I say forget that. You need to start fresh with a plan of attack.

I would shoot for a daily calorie deficit of 1,000 calories, which means you could lose 2 pounds a week. This should be easily doable as you are a man, probably an average height, and with at least 60 pounds or more of excess weight. If your TDEE is 2,300 calories (it's probably more), that would mean you need to create a meal plan of 1,300 calories per day.

Knowing how much volume of food you need to consume to feel satiated, with a budget of 1,300 calories per day, can help you craft daily meal plans that will satisfy (at least satiate) you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and even budget in a few snacks.

That might look like a breakfast of 1.5 cups of prepared oatmeal, a few unpacked tablespoons of brown sugar, 1/2 oz. of raisins, and a Honeycrisp apple. Or, 2 large eggs, 1/2 cup of nonfat cottage cheese with maybe an ounce of fruit, and 4 oz ham steak, with an Apple as a mid-morning snack.

Lunch might be 5 oz of romaine lettuce, a few ounces of chopped veggies like bell pepper and cucumber, topped with slices of lean meat like roasted chicken and 3 tbsp of low-fat/non-fat dressing.

Dinner might be a side of grilled or steamed broccoli, a lean meat like 6 oz of boneless/skinless chicken breast or 4 oz. salmon or 6 oz. tilapia fillet, etc.

Snacks would be like a large Honeycrisp apple, a protein shake, tuna and celery, etc. Maybe even cheese if done carefully and in moderation - personally I wouldn't keep my trigger foods in the house, though.

You will completely avoid eating anything off-schedule, anything that's not pre-entered in your food diary for that day. No snacks not planned for, not even one tortilla chip. No grazing, period.

It will be important to own, and use, a food scale. You will measure all your ingredients precisely to the ounce.

Nothing enters your mouth that has not already been on the scale, in a measuring cup or spoon, or pre-measured in some reliable fashion, period. This is not negotiable.

Does this mean you will not eat at a restaurant of any sort, whether it be fine dining, fast casual, fast food, or a food truck?

You bet it does.

You are laser-focused on losing 60 pounds at as fast a rate as what is considered medically safe.

"I've come too far from being almost 600 lbs. and I really don't want to go back or die from unhealthy choices."

Sacrifices must be made, and you are damn well going to make them.

You'll use MyFitnessPal or similar to log, detail, and plan out your meals in advance, perhaps a week ahead and stick to it. You won't be eating and then logging. You logged already - you are eating according to your already planned out food diary.

Does it suck to go on a diet? Sure it does - at first. However, once you see positive and consistent movement in the right direction on the bathroom scale, you'll become even more motivated and determined. You'll look forward to your next pre-scheduled meal or snack. You'll begin to enjoy that salad with that sweet fat free Catalina dressing. That salmon fillet tonight sounds good - you are looking forward to it.

Speaking of the bathroom scale - you will stand on it every single day first thing in the morning. Not once a week - everyday. You will start each day, everyday, thinking about your weight loss progress and goals. You will subsequently log your weight into MyFitnessPal (or similar app) and periodically view your progress chart.

Feeling a little peckish? Unaccounted for cheese and bread sounding good? You'll open MyFitnessPal and view your weight-loss progress chart and it's downward trend. The craving will pass.

Just get back to basics. Be honest and accountable with yourself about what caused this - buckle down, pick yourself up by your bootstraps, etc. - and make it happen. Not next week. Not next month - now. Sooner you start, sooner you'll reach goal.

Then once you hit goal, don't forget about that measly 287 calories. Do you need that Starbucks? Naw.. That chocolate bar? Negative. That cheese? Maybe, just don't forget to make an adjustment for it from some other meal or snack in the day.

| Duodenal Switch (Lap) 08-13-2018 | Surgeon: Dr. Sashidhar V Ganta | High weight: 305 in Jan. 2018 | Surgery weight: 255 | Current weight: 123.2 | BMI 18.5 |

on 2/19/21 9:18 am - Central Coast, CA
RNY on 06/26/17

Wow!!! You could work as a nutritionist in one of those bariatric centers. I was standing in attention just reading this! Well done!

SW:261 6/26/17 GW:150 10/6/18


PGW: 140-142

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