Need advice

msleesa
on 7/11/11 3:15 am, edited 7/11/11 3:16 am
 I was recently scheduled for surgery with Dr. Kelly last week. I didn't get on my flight because my family members scared me out of it. My aunt said she had a bad dream about a death in the family and so did my grandmother. They made me believe that the dream was for me.  That scared me into not going. Now a week later they keep saying that they're glad I didn't go because Mexico is so dangerous. They believe Dr. Kelly is in a business of selling organs (LMAO) that kills me every time. Now other people in my family including my cousins keep having dreams they are at a funeral. Now granted these could not be for me, but why are they all arising the time of me getting my surgery? I have another chance to go to Dr. Kelly this week. I don't know if I should go against what they say and go have surgery with my friend. I was trying to do self pay in the u.s however, I  dont have money for a loan and I don't really have credit which is just as bad as bad credit. I just want to be safe and enjoy my new life. I don't want to sit there and die at the operating table. This whole situation has made me depressed and I'm usually on the OH board every day for some hours. It's literally the first website i type into the search bar before facebook, and now this is my first time back.
Jah Bless 
   
(deactivated member)
on 7/11/11 3:19 am
I know you got this answer the other day.. but you are an adult, and this is your life.
Only you can make the call to do this, not them.. and by all means, not someones dreams.. that's their issue, not yours.

At some point, you are going to have to start making the call to put you and your needs first.. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

(deactivated member)
on 7/11/11 4:28 am - NY
On July 11, 2011 at 10:19 AM Pacific Time, Jo777 wrote:
I know you got this answer the other day.. but you are an adult, and this is your life.
Only you can make the call to do this, not them.. and by all means, not someones dreams.. that's their issue, not yours.

At some point, you are going to have to start making the call to put you and your needs first.. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

I agree with Jo!

Do what is good for you first and worry about your family afterwards.

BTW, this is why I am not telling my family (except for my wife) about my surgery.

jfab1978
on 7/11/11 3:19 am - CA
Maybe your surgeon can have a conference call with your loved ones, so you can get the seal of approval?
       
cattywompos
on 7/11/11 3:25 am
Those dreams that your family are having is them worrying about you.  My best advice...put it in God's hands.  If you feel you need the surgery, if this is the right thing for you...bring it to God.  Not one of us knows the time or place in which we will leave this world, are you gonna not go just because of dreams?  When it is your time, it is your time ya know?  Something that gave me comfort when I went into the operating room is either I am gonna wake up in recovery or at the pearly gates.  Either way...it wouldn't be bad.
 HW-304 / SW- 286 / CW-198.25 / GW-170
    
2sweetnsugarland
on 7/11/11 3:58 am - TX
On July 11, 2011 at 10:25 AM Pacific Time, cattywompos wrote:
Those dreams that your family are having is them worrying about you.  My best advice...put it in God's hands.  If you feel you need the surgery, if this is the right thing for you...bring it to God.  Not one of us knows the time or place in which we will leave this world, are you gonna not go just because of dreams?  When it is your time, it is your time ya know?  Something that gave me comfort when I went into the operating room is either I am gonna wake up in recovery or at the pearly gates.  Either way...it wouldn't be bad.
I totally agree with Cattywompos!!!  Put it in God's hands, He is the one in control and make a good decision for yourself.  Take care!

VSG:  5/13/2011
HW:260 / SW:242 / CW:195 / GW: 125

            
(deactivated member)
on 7/11/11 3:28 am - CA
Do It!! They will get over it. I went to Mexico by myself because my family didn't want me to have the revision from band to sleeve. Now that I'm almost under 200 pounds and I'm not throwing up everything I eat, they finally realized that this was a good thing. We love our family, but they don't always know what's best for us...I've read your posts and know that you really want this for yourself. Don't let them get in the way of it or use them as an excuse--everything will be fine and Mexico isn't a backwood alley--it was actually the nicest hospital and best care I've ever had. YOU.WON'T.REGRET.DOING.THIS.FOR.YOURSELF. Good Luck!
Onedaysoon
on 7/11/11 3:49 am - PA
I understand hon. I had to essentially cut ties with my own mother because she was such a negitive person and was 150% opposed to me having this surgery. She hounded me constantly saying things like if I would just 'try harder' or 'put in the extra effort' or 'get more exercise'  that I could lose the weight. Well DUH...I've lost and gained weight a million times in my life, I know how it works..After a year of talk like this I had the last straw when she brought it up at the dinner table during Thanksgiving and embarrassed me in front of my husband's family by repeating things I had told her in confidence. Anyhow, this isn't about me....just saying..I understand what it feels like not to have support from the people who should be there the most for you. I have always looked to my mother for approval for things in my life, but finally I had to look deep within myself and ask what it was that "I" wanted for MY life ....with or without anyone's approval. Be strong, have faith in yourself, don't let fear control you. Good luck
~Carly~
Age:30 Ht: 5'2  ~ HW:250 ~ SW:228 ~ GW:125
~
  
      

NDew1104
on 7/11/11 4:11 am
You know, its said to be that when people dream of death it means someones having a baby!  lol  Maybe you should tell them they should be looking to someone else for some answers about that :) 


injeneral
on 7/11/11 4:40 am
If you are so easily swayed by what others think and dream, then maybe you really aren't ready for this surgery. It's your life. YOUR life. If you can't wrap your head around that and start making decisions for yourself then WLS probably isn't a good option for you. It seems like you need to focus on getting control of your own life before you take such a big step as WLS.
Most Active
×