Preop Jitters/Terrors! Help! (Long)

OK so Saturday I started to get cold feet. It has calmed a little bit but I still am feeling a little nervous and second guessing myself (which I do a lot). Since February I have been so dead set on getting my approval and getting the VSG. My surgery is next Tuesday and now I am terrified for 2 reasons.

1.) Am I doing the right surgery? I was so sure and now I am doubting myself. A lot of it has to be with those damn (and I mean this in the nicest of ways) DSers. Is malabsorption that important? No one has contacted me directly but through things they say on the boards. I  really don't want any rerouting and don't feel like I want to be taking 80 pills (exaggeration) a day for the rest of my life. I also prefer to eat low carb because it has become my enemy and high protein and lots of veggies. When I did the Atkins I lost 50 lbs. in 4 or 5 months. I used to be an emotional, boredom and a non wasteful eater (grandma always made me finish what was on my plate) but I have for the most part resolved those issues and when I do feel like a snack I tend to go for something like yogurt or hummus. Ever since Atkins most highly breaded, fried, high fat foods make me feel sick except for french fries and nachos. (Long John Silvers is disgusting to me).  I don't need to be 120 lbs. and more ideally I'd like to be a little thick because that is just what I find appealing.  I'm 5'2 and 305ish (weighing myself at my pre op appt. tomorrow so hopefully I've lost on this liquid diet hell) so I need to lose a lot of weight.

2.Death. I don't want to die, especially at 25 with nothing to show for. I know every surgery has risks but somehow I stumbled upon one of those WLS "horror" sites. None of the  issues on the sites had  to do with VSG but still scared me. I consider myself an intelligent person who praises science and the medicine and who wants to eventually become a nurse and I don't usually succumb to scare tactics. I am relativley healthy besides hypertension which has been under control thanks to diuretics. So why did I become so frightened? I know I will cry on my gurney and hopefully they will give me happy juice and I will wake up alive and well.

Anyway thank you for listening, has this happened to any of you? What did you do to resolve those fears. I've come to far to chicken out but I need some peace of mind.

P.S. I did have a dream last night that I had the surgery and I did my leak test and it was good and I wasn't in terrible pain  so hopefully that is a premonition.

Your fears are perfectly normal!  You in the end will need to pick the right surgery for you - but VSG is great (I love my sleeve).  There are people on here that have lost hundreds of pounds - without the malabsorbtion!  I am with you - I hate the idea of rerouting, and I don't see malabsorbtion as a huge thing to tout - unless you have some physiological reason why it is needed.  You said that you lost 50 lbs on Atkins, so you have proven that you can lose weight with diet and exercie - so you sound like a great candidate for VSG to me!

Death - I only got this fear right before surgery!  Now that WLS is done lapriscopically, it's like .5% chance of death.  However if you stay 305 at 5'2" (I started at 330 and 5'2"), you are likely to develop health problems that will cause an early death.  If I was going to Vegas - I'd bet on the WLS being the safer bet!

I can tell you my experience was a very easy surgery and minor pain, no leaks, and no major complications - I did have a little infection at the drain site that healed nicely with antibiotics.  Would I do this again if given the choice?  YES!

Good luck making your decision!

(((hugs))) swettie... breath :-)

I SO totally get it... you were me a few weeks ago.  I was terrified of leaving my 4 year old daughter... that was my biggest fear, that or being too sick to care for her.

And I did have a complication... a kink... I hadn'teven really heard of it!  It was a scary day, but I trusted my doctor and he took great care of me.  He kept me in the hospital for 5 nights and I swear the 5th night was just becasue I didn't have a/c at my mom's (where I was going to recover).

I am 5 days out from the second surgery.... last night was my first night home, and I am doing great!  My BIGGEST complaint is my dang period... it's brutal.  Hell... I can get in and out of bed without a twinge, I can even touch my toes.... and I still have a drain!  I hit 40oz yesterday and I am confident I will get well above that today... I will totally nail my 60 grams of protien... it is really good.  

I have lost 10lbs already (need to update my ticker AGAIN! just since last Tuesday!!!)

I think I did a good thing... but I don't know for sure how you can reconcile your fears... it's a path you have to walk... it was hard, but I knew I deserved to be healthy and my daughter needs a healthy mommy!

Girl, I began having the same thoughts as you bout a week or so before my surgery.  It's completely normal.. I mean, seriously.. you're having your stomach cut out!!  We're all crazy, right! XD

All I can do is reassure you.. my surgery was textbook, they even repaired a hiatal hernia while I was under.  I work up, was in very little pain.. mostly was just tired and thirsty.  The only thing that gave me any discomfort was my drain which  stayed in for 10 days.  Besides that, I was weak form anesthesia and felt like I'd done a bunch of sit ups.  I was only on pain meds for a couple of days.. when I went home, I took baby tylenol (because it's liquid) and that handled any soreness.

I will warn you, only because I was warned.. day two in the hospital SUCKS!!!!  It wasn't physical pain, mostly emotional.  It's filled with thoughts of 'why the hell did I do this to myself??"  "My life is never going to be normal again!!"  I think I spent most of day two in tears.

As soon as I got home and took a loooooong hot shower, I felt so much better.  Just keep sipping on your liquids.. nectar protein is great for this stage because it mixes with water and is easier on your stomach.. but try to start drinking milk as soon as you can tolerate it, you'll need the calories.

I'm sure you will do fine, just remeber that every day is better than the last and before ya know it, you'll feel normal only better and healthier :D  Good luck!!

Totally normal feelings I agree! I was terrified as they were wheeling me back I had to keep chanting in my head "you are ready for this".  I do that kind of stuff to get through scary things :)

That said, this surgery is far safer, less invasive, faster recovery.  My mom had to have her stomach reconstructed after almost dying from a hernia.  They did not do WLS in addition (though she wanted it) but because they had to rebuild everything in her stomach, her recovery was seriously over a month.

I'm sitting at work, on my lunch hour, posting to you exactly 2 weeks post op.  I feel FANTASTIC.  As a matter of fact I was in surgery at this very moment two weeks ago.  I do get a little tired because your body is adjusting to way less calories, but I have a sit down job so I'm fine.

No pain, I feel great.  I even had lasik eye surgery last Wednesday!!

I was worried about death because I have 3 boys who need me, single mom, gotta be here.  And I too am not a fan of malabsporption.  I've decided either I can make a lifestyle change or not and I can.

Your feelings are normal, let them be OK but have little talks to remind yourself why you fought so hard.  I'm so happy :)

You are not alone.  I was so scared and doubting that I almost backed out the day of surgery.  I know for me I had the same thoughts about death and if I was making the right decision.  My husband gave me some good advice.  He said that I had done the research gotten all my facts and that i was prepared and prepared could be, that I was just scared and I would be fine.  He also said and don't take this the wrong way, that if it is our time to go... that even if I DIDN'T have the surgery it wouldn't make a difference.  This made a huge impact because I believe this is true.  no matter where we are or what we are doing if our time is up our time is up.  Please I hope that doesn't scare you or sound wrong... I'm not good with words and it's hard to say what I mean :) Good Luck and I am sure you will be great and when you wake up you will feel like it took 10 minutes max :)

Hi! I think (without any exaggeration) that everyone had those exact thoughts as they came closer to their surgery date. You are not alone in that respect.

To answer your two points:
1) Which surgery is right for you is ultimately your decision; kudos to you for making every effort to make an informed decision about WLS. Now I'm sure you have gotten a lot of information from your healthcare team, sites like OH and such, but at the end of the day, you have to be 100% on board with your decision because it is your life! There are folks on OH that are really gung ho about their surgery ( borderline pushy IMHO)- I am so genuinely happy that they are doing well enough several years out to persuade others to follow suit. But truth: like you, I'm young (27 years old), and I'm thinking about the long term odds. And for me, the VSG was a smart balance of weight management and longevity. Now, if you can follow the program (as you did before successfully), and you don't have comorbidites/metabolic disorders, I see no reason to opt for malabsorption. More truth: I just had 80% of my stomach removed of my own accord, there is no way I'm allowing my self to fail. Come hell or high water, I'm going to make this work! And if you've come this far in your journey, this will be your outlook too! So again, you've done the leg work, you know the facts. If your heart tells you VSG, then you have your answer. Because at the end of the day, no one on OH will be in your shoes day in and out post-op!

2) the NATIONAL mortality rate for VSG is about 0.5%. that means of all the board certified bariatric surgeons performing this procedure (mostly lapro) in this country, there is an overall death rate of 0.5%. those are very favorable odds. The procedure is very safe. The chance you will die is very small. Complications (leaks, strictures, infection) are another thing, but also fairly uncommon. More truth: pray. The Lord God knows your heart and why you are doing this. He will give you peace, and see you through, so long as you trust in Him!

Sorry for the long post, but I hope I was able to give your spirit some ease. Keep us posted on whatever you decide. I will keep you in my prayers and send you a big ole virtual hug!,, (((((hug)))))

its ok to have those fears.. you are undergoing surgery and everyone gets nervous or has cold feet beforehand.  Do you have confidence in your surgeon?  Do you think you have chosen the right surgery for you?  These are the questions only you have the answer to and can decide upon whether or not your going to do it.  We are having our surgeries on the same day and I myself am very excited to start this new journey.. I know its not going to be easy at first but we can transition to changes pretty easily.  I have a friend who had her sleeve done in March and she has been a tremendous help and encourager for my choice in doing the surgery. 

I will keep you in my prayers that you come to the decision that is good for you and hope to hear what that will be.  Its ok to be nervous, its ok to be apprehensive, this is a life long change decision to make.  But wouldnt you rather be healthy and live a long life or be weighed down literally? 

Good luck my sleeve sister.. we have a week to go.. WOOT

 And yes 1 more week, hoping it will speed by! 

 Thank you everyone for your responses. All of your points make absolute sense. I know in my brain what I want and that I will be fine but its my silly emotions getting the best of me. Plus I haven't endured this pre op diet just to give up now. I think I will feel more encouraged tommorow when I go for my last appointment and get weighed. I don't own a scale myself because I hate them lol.